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A/N All copyright goes to Suzanne Collins!

Chapter 4

As the first rays of light pass my eyelids, I know it's time to wake up. At that very moment, the events of the past day come rushing through my mind. I recall Peeta holding me in his arms, making me dinner and giving me bread. Wanting to know if everything was real, I quickly wake up. I notice Peeta is not in the couch, which makes my heart sink. I'm pretty sure I dreamt all of it. My nightmares last night were more bearable and I didn't trash around like I normally do. Swallowing my disappointment, I decide to get breakfast ready. I'm sure Greasy Sae will appreciate the help. That's when I notice it. A light snoring. I look around and I find Peeta sleeping in a rocking chair, not far from the couch. Once again, there's that unexpected warmth seeping through me. It's so unexpected and such a sweet feeling, I let it fill my body. I decide to let Peeta sleep, I'm pretty sure his nightmares haven't stopped. I head to the kitchen and quietly start making breakfast. I make some eggs and I had just started chopping up some fruit when I notice a figure in the entrance of the kitchen. I don't know how long Peeta has been watching me. For a long while we just stand there, staring at each other. For the first time since he is back, I take a real look at him. He is so different to the boy the Capitol tortured. I see his broad chest and muscled arms through his white shirt. I also notice his disheveled blond hair. However, his most striking feature will always be his eyes. I see the calmness in them and their indescribable shade of blue. Before my staring becomes too uncomfortable, I clear my throat and say:

-"Good morning, would you like some breakfast?" I don't know why I always speak to him in whispers.

-"I would love that Katniss, thankyou."

As I finish making breakfast, he quietly sets out the table and I bring the food to the table. As we eat I can't help feeling normal. Come to think about it, this is the most normal I felt in a long time. I look at Peeta and I know he is feeling the same. We are just about to finish our breakfast when a see a hurriedly Greasy Sae making her way into the house. She is hurrying towards the kitchen she almost misses us sitting at the table. Once she makes sense of the scene before her, she smiles and says:

-"Well I guess I'm not needed anymore around here."

-"Just wanted to give you some help." I tell her with a slight smile.

-"In that case, I'll be back around dinnertime." She says as she grabs her stuff and heads towards the door.

She is just closing the door behind her when Peeta speaks and asks me:

-"Uhmm Katniss, do you mind if I make you dinner tonight? That way we can give Greasy Sae the day off." I can tell he is nervous.

-"Sure that's ok." I answer him.

Peeta stands up and rushes after Greasy Sae to let her know about our dinner plans. For some strange reason, I'm excited and that's a feeling I thought I would never have again. For the first time in forever, I have something to look forward to. Shortly after, Peeta comes back and tells me:

-"It's settled. Greasy Sae didn't mind one bit."

-"Good. She's been great, I want her to rest." There it is again. Me talking in whispers to him.

-"Most definitely. So about tonight, I'll be here around 6:30pm, don't worry about anything. I'll bring everything. Just relax and enjoy your afternoon."

Before I can say anything, I look at Peeta and see a conflicting emotion in his eyes. He comes closer and gently takes my face in his hands and plants a soft kiss in my forehead. I'm too stunned to move and my heart skips a beat. This has been happening quite often, every time Peeta touches me. For that brief moment, I feel alive again. Peeta smiles and tells me:

-"I'll see you later."

-"Ok." Is all I can think of saying.

He leaves without any other word and I'm left with a whole day to fill. This should be interesting. I decide to start with something simple: cleaning up the plates from breakfast. While I'm cleaning, I can't make my mind to quiet down; all my thoughts go back to Peeta. Despite everything we've been through, he is the Peeta of my memories: loving, caring and an overall kindness that surrounds him and everywhere he goes. I can't shake away the fact that Peeta is the only one that came back to District 12. It was his choice. He could've gone anywhere, but he decided to come back. This fills me with something so unexpected: hope. Peeta and I still have a long way to go, but is it possible that we can help each other along the way? Before I can dwell too much on the answer, I finish cleaning the kitchen. I head out to my living room and I notice some white sheets of paper and a pen scattered in the coffee table. I take them and stare at them for what seems like an eternity. Suddenly, I'm transported to a different lifetime and I hear Cinna's voice telling me, "Remember Girl on Fire, I'm still betting on you." Out of nowhere, words are streaming and before I know it, 5 pages are filled with details about Cinna. From his metallic gold eyeliner, to his talent making clothes, everything. I don't want to forget him. I decide to finish writing for tears are now streaming down my face. I feel the familiar ache in my chest and I know that if I don't stop, I'm heading to a complete meltdown. Every time this happens, my body feels tired but I'm afraid to go to sleep, my nightmares will follow everywhere. I decide to lie down anyway and I'm soon drifting away.

I wake up right before they drag Cinna's limp body away, before I can get to him. I'm sweating and my tear streaked face just confirms what I already know, I've been crying. My sore throats can only mean I've been screaming too. I stay there until I can make my breathing and the pounding in my chest slow down. I glance at the living room clock and see that's it 5:30pm. I still have one more hour before Peeta gets here. I decide to set the table for the two of us before he arrives, that way we can eat right away. I'm starving. By 5:50pm I have everything set up and I head upstairs to my room, to take a shower and change into fresh clothes. By 6:20, I'm all cleaned up and it's only a matter of waiting for Peeta to get here. I was expecting him to be here earlier, but for some strange reason he is not here. Minutes drag and by 7:10 is pretty clear that Peeta is not coming. I'm overwhelmed with this horrible feeling to just cry. Maybe Peeta realized that he could do so much better than being here making dinner to someone no one has the heart to tell her she is insane. Perhaps, he just realized he deserves someone and something better. Peeta can still have a wonderful life; I'm the only thing standing in the way. The emptiness in my chest hits me with such a physical force, my knees buckle and I slump to the floor. I have no strength to sit up again, so I just stay there and cry and cry and cry.

It's so silent in Victors Village, you could almost hear your own heartbeat. If I pay close attention, I could almost hear my own heart breaking further into a million pieces. Suddenly, I hear something out of place, like someone trashing an entire room. I realize the sound must be coming from Peeta's home. Before I know it, I'm rushing out of my house and heading towards his. I'm on instinct mode and I feel like I'm back at the Quarter Quell, trying to reach Peeta before destroying the force field. Reaching his house, I head straight to the door, only to find out its locked. It takes all the strength in me to pry it open, but I finally manage to do it and enter the house. Slowly, I process the scene before me. It's my biggest nightmare come true.

It's Peeta. Passed out, in a scary pool of blood.