Chapter 4

"A disappointment?" Stefan stood up and walked around his desk and took a seat in the one right beside Elena's. "Oh, Elena. I'm sure that's not true." She was beautiful, warm and kind. He couldn't see how she could ever be a disappointment and it saddened him beyond words that she thought so little of herself.

"Oh, but it is." Elena chuckled bitterly. "Heard it my whole damn life."

"Elena," Stefan was at a loss of what to say to her, of how to help her. She seemed so cynical and underneath her tough façade, he could see an innocent broken hearted girl trying to deal with a lifetime of pain and abandonment.

"Well," Elena plastered on a fake smile. "Thank you for letting me hide out in here. This was a great talk, Mr S."

Stefan frowned. She was shutting him out and that worried him. She needed to let somebody in or the pain was gonna consume her. God help him, he desperately wanted to be that somebody. "It's Stefan, remember? We're not in class right now."

"No," The fake smile on Elena's face was replaced by sadness. A sadness that broke Stefan Salvatore's heart. "we're not. But uh…" She folded her hands in front of her which Stefan could tell was a defensive stance, almost as if she was hesitant to tell him something. "Look, I don't think this friends thing is such a great idea."

"Why not?" Stefan almost demanded.

Elena ran a hand through her hair as she looked anywhere but into his eyes. "You're my teacher. It's just not a…"

"Don't." Stefan cut her off sharply. "If you don't want to tell me why, that's fine. I won't force you, but do not lie to me, Elena."

"Alright." Elena replied with a hard edge laced in her tone. "You want the truth? Here it is. You've been really nice to me from day one. You've listened to me and I appreciate it. I truly do. I just…I honestly don't have any room in my life for a new friend."

"Oh." Stefan said softly.

"I'm sorry." Elena stood up, grabbed her bag and turned around to leave.

"Elena, wait a second." Stefan stood up.

Elena sighed. He really wasn't making this easy for her. "Stefan, please."

"I never asked you to be my friend, you know." Stefan spoke softly behind her. "I never asked you to take on my problems, carry my burdens. I never asked you to do any of that and I wasn't about to start now."

Elena slowly turned around, confusion written all over her face. "I'm sorry, I don't understand. You don't want to be friends?" Despite what she'd just said to him, him not wanting to be her friend hurt her way more than it should have.

Stefan took a step closer to Elena. "I want to be your friend, Elena. I want to take on your problems and I want to carry your burdens."

Elena's eyes were filled with unshed tears. "You…you…you want…" A tear rolled down her face and she quickly wiped it away. "You're asking to be my real friend, but you're not asking me to be yours?" Stefan nodded. There was disbelief written in Elena's eyes. "Seriously?!"

"Yeah." Stefan breathed deeply. "Seriously. I wouldn't lie to you, Elena. I would never lie to you."

"Why?" Elena demanded. "Why would you? You must want something." Her tone took on a desperate one as she couldn't believe that someone could be so selfless for her. No one ever had before. "Everybody wants something."

"Not me." Stefan said softly.

"Come on." Elena laughed bitterly. "You're a guy, aren't you?"

Stefan's eyes met Elena's and read the insinuation in them. It shocked, saddened and disgusted him above all else. "I'm your teacher, Elena. What you are suggesting is completely unethical not to mention wrong and depraved on so many levels." He spat at her harshly.

"Wouldn't be the first time." Elena muttered.

Stefan's eyes went wide and wave of intense anger washed over him. "Excuse me?!" He suddenly had the strongest urge to go find whoever had made her feel like she couldn't talk to someone without strings being attached and beat the shit out of them.

"Nothing." Elena quickly shook her head. She'd opened herself up enough and was already regretting it. In her experience, you let someone in and it gave them license to shatter you. In her family, opening up, caring, shedding tears…they were all weaknesses. Elena Gilbert hated being weak.

Stefan glared at her and Elena sighed. "Okay, not nothing. I don't feel like sharing though. That cool?" With a softer tone she added, "Maybe I'll tell you someday."

Stefan nodded. "Fair enough."

"So, if you don't want anything from me than why are you offering to be my only real friend?" Elena asked.

It saddened Stefan that he would be her only real friend. She was too special, too beautiful not to be surrounded by a bunch of real friends. "You want the honest truth?"

"If you can bare it." Elena said, her tone hard and tough.

Stefan smirked. She was definitely a far cry from being Pollyanna, but he honestly believed that she was worth it. She was worth the time and the trouble. She was special and he was determined to make her see that, to make her believe that. "The honest truth is that I care about you. I honestly like you and…and you need me."

Elena scoffed indignantly. "Please. I do not need anybody. I'm not some damsel in distress. "It's a tough world, remember? And this life is no fairytale, the only one who is gonna take care of me is myself. "

"That's it!" Stefan shouted excitedly as if he'd just won something.

Elena frowned and looked at him as if he'd grown two heads. "What's it?"

"That's why you need me, Elena Gilbert." Stefan grinned. "You are a cynical, self deprecating girl with absolutely no belief in happy endings."

Elena glared at Stefan. "You insult all your friends this way or am I just special?"

"You are." Stefan said seriously, the smirk gone from his face. He needed her to take this if nothing else he ever says to her seriously. "Special, that is. You are a very special girl."

Elena scoffed, that wasn't the first time somebody called her special but it was the first time she refused to believe the words. She was never going to be played a fool again by anyone . "Please." She turned to walk away and Stefan lightly grabbed her arm.

"That's why you need me, Elena." Stefan said gently, he brushed a few strands of her hair back. "You gotta let somebody in."

Elena swallowed roughly and turned around to meet his gentle and caring gaze. The caring, the gentleness, and the intensity in his eyes were all too much for her to take.

Elena yanks her arm out of his grasp and turns around flees from the room.

She never once turned around.

Stefan sighed deeply. And leaned back against his desk.

"I won't give up on you, Elena Gilbert." Stefan softly spoke aloud. "You have to let somebody in, you just have to. I'll be here when you're ready."

Elena ran straight into the women's restroom.

She stopped in front of the mirror.

She was breathing heavily.

Tears were streaming down her face.

She was gasping…choking on the sobs that were rising in her throat.

He'd gotten to her.

Stefan Salvatore had really gotten to her and his words had terrified her.

"You gotta let somebody in."

"Why?" She asked aloud despairingly. "Why in the hell should I let him or anyone else into my life, into my heart? Why? So they can shatter me even more than I already am?!"

Elena shook her head and roughly wiped away her tears.

"No way in hell am I letting that happen." She firmly spoke aloud.

"Letting what happen?"

Elena spun around, startled. "Caroline."

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Caroline asked in a voice full of care and concern. "Me and the girls have been looking everywhere for you." She looked over her friend's fragile appearance. "You look a mess."

"It's nothing." Elena replied. "I'm just having a really bad day is all."

"Well, what's going on?" Caroline pressed. "You know I'm here for you."

Elena sighed as against her better judgment she began to spill what was troubling her to her friend. "It all started this morning. My mom was a total bitch and she totally criticized my appearance like she always seems to do. I wound up leaving completely pissed and upset."

"Well, I'm sorry Sweetie but how long has your mom been a bitch for? Like forever, right? Isn't it time you got over letting her upset you?" Caroline pointed out.

Elena blinked back the tears that were caused by her own best friend not getting her. "Yeah, right." She answered weakly. "That wouldn't have bothered me, but then there's Mr S."

"You're still upset cause he yelled at you this morning?" There was criticism written in Caroline's eyes and Elena regretted ever opening up to her. "Lens not to be a bitch because you know I love you, but when are you gonna stop being such a drama queen? I really believe that if you could just let the little stuff go, you could actually be happy."

"Yeah," Elena wiped away a stray tear and plastered on her world famous fake smile. "you're absolutely right, Caroline. I need to stop being so ridiculous and I will."

Elena quickly hugged Caroline and pulled back, rushing toward the door before she completely broke down.

"Elena?" Caroline called out. "You're okay now, right?"

Elena turned around, the fake smile plastered across her features. "Never been better."

Elena leaves and Caroline watches her go, still slightly worried but shrugs it off. She really didn't have time for any mini dramas.