I realise that this chapter is shorter than the others, but let's not worry about that and focus on the point bright side, such as, it's here and it's ready for you to read. Enjoy. :)

Chapter three.

Alice opens her front door and greets me with a hug. A comforting hug that smells like pretty flowers and expensive sunshine.

"You okay?" She asks while embracing me. I nod. And although she can't see me, I know she senses what I'm saying, my nodding translates too, "I can't really talk about it right now, give me a moment or two." She understands, she's my best friend, she's Alice. And I'm so grateful for her.

Alice's house is much the same as mine, apart from different flowers, a different scent and different parents. Our homes are much alike. She lives with just her father. Her mother died when she was just a couple of months old, they barely knew each other. Alice's father is either always in the office or in a conference call or away on business. She is one of Forks elite, just like me and she is also troubled, and angry at the crappy parents God or whoever has assigned us with, just like me.

Alice leads me downstairs to her room. Her bedroom is her entire basement. It's really cool. It's like a grunge bedroom. The walls are brick but she's spray painted amazing artwork onto them. She's pretty messy, she has art work spread all over the ground, she really is a terrific artist. Much better than me, though she tends to argue that. Her bedroom smells like old records and fresh canvases with expensive cologne sprayed over the top. She has a shelf of records, a shelf of books, posters everywhere. Posters such as "End war in Vietnam now." Which I thought was kind of strange but it looks pretty cool anyway. She has a huge wardrobe in the far corner, and the biggest bed you'll ever see near the wardrobe, complete with black sheets and red pillows.
She leads me to her red couch with a fake zebra printed blanket spread over it. There is a small wooden table in front of it, about knee height, that has glasses of milk and cookies on a plate spread out, comforting food on comforting furniture.

I almost always come here when Phil and Renee fight like they do. And every time Alice drags me down here to her sanctuary and she gives me milk and cookies like we are ten years old and she listens. Alice listens like no one I have ever met before. And it's one of my favourite things about her.

"I came home, they were throwing things, and he was calling her a whore." I mumble with a mouth full of choc –chip cookie. But she seems to understand. She nods.

"You think she cheated on him while they were away?" She asks.

"Probably." I shrug, trying not to think about it because I was about to become either really angry or really upset and if I started to cry I'd never stop.

Phil is an old man. Much older than my father had been, much older than any man I know. He is one year away from being sixty one. Renee is thirty five. But the thing is, Phil actually really loves Renee. He doesn't just have her around as a toy, or someone to show off, or to even keep him company because he's withered and sad or something like that. He genuinely loves her, he worships her. I don't doubt that Phil would take a bullet for Renee… But do you think that she loves him back? Nope. Phil is Renee's security. Her ticket into this lifestyle she has always dreamed of, always wanted, but always seemed so unattainable; until she met Phil.
She left Charlie for him. She left me for him. She left our life and all our happiness we thought we had for champagne and lobster on a Sunday evening. I was only a toddler at the time, but that doesn't mean I'm still not frustrated about it now.

Anyway – because I really don't believe that Renee thinks that Phil is enough for him, Renee engages in many affairs. With the young gardener, with her snorkelling instructor from our last cruise, with whoever, really. If he is cute, has a nice ass and isn't from or going anywhere special, she'll do him.

And when Phil finds out, well, they fight, he shouts, he sometimes cries, she comforts him, the endless charade of fake love continues. Renee will have another face lift and all will be well and forgiven in our family home.

"Wanna spray paint something on my wall?" Alice asks, offering me another cookie. She has taken off her school skirt, tie and blazer, but she has left her knee high socks and white shirt on. It's warm in her basement; there isn't any window so if it becomes hot down here easily when the air is trapped.

"Hell yes, I do." I smile at her, Alice always relaxes me. Always. And I mean, it's not like she really does anything, not really. She doesn't say anything fake like, "Everything is going to be okay." Or, "I'm so sorry this is happening." Because she knows how it is and she knows it's not always going to be okay. And maybe that in itself is what comforts me most, because Alice just knows.

I'm still wearing my school uniform, so I follow Alice's suite and remove my blazer, tie and skirt.

"We could be in a porno." She says and I laugh and push her shoulder gently. She walks over to her record player and put's on Sexy Sadie by the Beatles and I laugh a little more genuinely.

Alice hands me some stuff, such as paper, spray paint, a knife and permanent marker. And then she gets the same stuff for herself. We kneel next to each other on the ground in front of a blank bit of brick wall and wiggle our hips to Sexy Sadie. I begin to draw on the white paper with the permanent marker and she does the same. I draw Alice and I, in our white shirts and black knee high socks, the cartoon version of us. Above our heads I write the words, "Two can be complete without the rest of the world." And Alice smiles when she looks at it, because she likes the Strokes just as much as I do. I cut out the stencil and spray it onto her wall, using blues and reds.

Alice spray paints a cup of coffee and a cup of tea next to us. And writes, "Coffee and tea, one for you and one for me." It might not mean much to others, but I see what she means, I'm the coffee and she's the tea, and although we're different, we click. At least, that's how I see it.

We lie down, side by side, our shoulders touching as we stare up at the wall. Not really saying anything but not really needing too.

"Think we'll be always be best friends?" She asks, turning to face me and I smile.

"Of course we will. Coffee and tea. Always." I reply without hesitation. She laughs and turns her head to stare back at the wall.

The ringing of my phone breaks the silence and the stillness of the air and I run to the couch where I left it, I see that it's Renee calling and I sigh before answering.

"Hello?" I say hesitatingly.

"Isabella! Where are you?" Renee's annoying voice screeches into my ear.

"At Alice's, I came home, but then left again."

"Oh. Well, okay. Phil and I aren't fighting anymore." She says cheerfully. And I wonder how much she has broken Phil's heart this time, and just how much his fragile heart can handle. It is sixty years old, after all. "But it's probably best you stay at sweet Alice's tonight." She continues. "I think we need to spend tonight alone." She says. I shudder at her words.

"Okay." I reply. I'm kind of happy; I don't want to go home and have to put up with her nasal voice and her fake moans late at night.

"So I'll see you tomorrow then, don't forget you have a hair appointment straight after school." She hangs up. Alice is sitting up with her legs crossed under her, watching me with her eyebrows raised.

"Apparently I have a hair appointment tomorrow." I say, shaking my head.

Alice snorts. "I knew that dark purple hair would not last long." She laughs, and although it's kind of funny, my attempt at rebelling, I still kind of feel sad.

Alice and I don't really do anything, we stay in her room and listen to music, I try to help her with her homework but we give up, not really being in the mood as it was our last week of school anyway.

It's late at night and Alice has lent me some pyjamas, we're trying to fall asleep but failing, because we're so tired that anything either of us says is really funny, and we roll around in her bed, holding our stomaches with tears rolling down our faces, laughing so much at nothing in particular. Her phone starts to ring. And even this seems funny.

"It's Jasper." She says without looking. I smile, wondering if Edward will call me. Wondering if Jasper is with Edward, wondering, wondering, and wondering.

"Hi." She smiles into her phone. "Yeah, I'm good thank you. How are you? That's good." She smiles again. "Are you really? Are you alone? Okay. I'll see you soon." She smiles and hangs up. She begins to laugh.

"Jasper's here." She says, "Do you mind if I go see him?" She asks me.

"Of course not." I smile at her. "Is he…"

"Edward's with Rose." She finishes for me. And I can't help but feel disappointed at her words.

"Oh, okay." I shake the feelings from my stomach. "Kiss Jasper extra hard for me." I tell her and she laughs and kisses me on the cheek.

"Always." She says and bounces off and starts walking up the stairs, taking two at a time and seeming in a rush, probably forgetting she's in love heart pyjama shorts and a singlet. I laugh watching her and then roll over and look at the ceiling once she has gone.

I think about Edward. I think about his face and his perfect jaw line and his muscle filled, safe arms. I think about what he's doing, I think about how he's looking after Rose right now. And I wonder what Rose looks like. Is she beautiful or horrible looking and would it make a difference either way? I wonder what Rose thinks of Edward and I wonder how long the two have known each other. I feel a little bit jealous and then I think that I'm being ridiculous because all Edward is doing is caring about someone who can't care about themselves and there is nothing wrong with that.
I think about how Edward never replied to my text message, and I wonder what he thought. I wonder what Edward thinks about me, and I just - I really wonder about Edward.

I think about how I don't really know him, I mean, I do, I know all his favourites and what he loves to have on his pizza but I have no idea where he is from and how he got to where he is today and even where he really wants to go. I don't know how he is Emmett's half brother and I don't even know if it's any of my business.

I just know that Edward is this really intriguing guy that I have known for three days and it's not like Romeo and Juliet and I'm not madly in love with him and about to commit suicide because of him, I just think I have this huge crush on him that I have no idea what to do with because I have not liked someone this much, since, ever.

I fall asleep to these thoughts. At some point in the night I wake again to Alice climbing into bed, with the scent of the fresh night on her skin and happiness radiating from her bones.

"That boy is amazing." She whispers and I "Hmm" Into disorientated agreement before I continue my deep slumber once more.

Alice nudges my shoulder in the morning to wake me up, I don't know what time it is but I can only assume it's early morning from the way her eyes are not fully open and there are no sounds of busy day life coming from outside.

"How do you feel about not going to school today?" She asks me and I laugh.

"I feel pretty freaking good." I say and she "Woo's."

"It looks like a nice day outside, we should do something worthwhile." She says, excitement shining through her eyes.

"Yeah?" I ask, sitting up, "like what?"

"We haven't been to La Push for a while." She hints, a mischievous grin playing with her lips.

I smile back at her; I can only imagine my face matches hers, we haven't experienced the excitement that La Push can bring for quite a while indeed, and I know we are both in the mood for it today.

We dress for the days activities. Renee doesn't call me and neither does Phil, and thankfully they don't send Laurent to come and retrieve me. Alice's Dad is busy and not here to care about us. Alice has been smiling all morning.

"Tell me about last night?" I ask her and she almost jumps into my arms. We're in the bathroom and she's braiding my hair into a fish-tail.

"I thought you'd never ask!" She exclaims, "Well he came by and he said that today was tough because Rose was needier than usual and she wouldn't let Edward leave, she won't let him leave her." She says, really sadly.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she just, I don't know, Jasper didn't really explain but he just says that she freaks out when Edward tries to leave, like even if he just wants to go get some groceries, she breaks down. Says she can't be alone."

"That is sad." I say, and it is. But I wish I was hearing this from Edward. I wish I could comfort him. Because I can imagine his sad eyes right now.

"Jasper says that it's going to be hard for him to drive to Forks this week. So it might be a while before you see him." She says gently.

"Oh." I don't know what to say, I hardly know Edward, which is why I want to get to know Edward. I want to spend time with him. And I'm not sure if I'm being selfish or not, but I just want to kiss his lips and hear his voice and not knowing when I might have the chance to do that make's my stomach twang a little bit.

"You'll see him soon. Don't worry." Alice comforts me.

"Tell me more about you and Jasper." I nudge her.

"He just drove me around in his car for a while, we listened to old 90's grunge music, he has the most amazing music taste, like you Baby doll, and then we made out in his back seat." She laugh and I giggle.

"Classy." I say.

"I know right? Anyway, and then we talked for ages and he bought me back home. Kissed me on the cheek and said he'll be back Friday to take me out on a proper date." She smiles, genuinely smiles, it reaches her eyes and everything.

"That sounds so wonderful." I say dreamily.

Alice looks at me, "I'm sure Edward will message you or call you, or something." She says.

"Eh, let's go." I tell her, trying to drop the subject. I didn't want to get my expectations up, and then have him not call, or not message me, or not take me out like Jasper is taking Alice out. And then I'd be ridiculously disappointed over a boy I hardly had the chance to know, and I'd feel stupid. I'm trying to avoid feeling stupid.

Alice asks her driver to take us to La Push, and although he questions it, she persuades him to take us anyway. Her driver's name is Victor; he has grey hair and dark glasses. He's not as cool as Laurent, but we still have a laugh with him.

I call Jacob on the way, he's more than happy to spend the day with us. I haven't seen Jacob for a while and he says I'm always a good excuse to skip school. I smile into the phone when he says that.

After Alice, Jacob would be my best friend. We've been family friends since we were born and he's the only one who really knew Charlie. His Dad, Billy and Charlie always used to go fishing together and bring us home Salmon for tea. Jacob started dating this girl from La Push called Leah a while ago and since then; we've been seeing each other less and less. He says it's because his life has been very messy this year, not bad messy, just generally messy. But I think that's bullshit. Leah doesn't like me one bit and that's because she's jealous and insecure about mine and Jakes relationship. I don't really like her either, she always has something negative to say. Always. Even if it's about something positive, she'll think about something negative to say. I just don't really like being friends with people like that. Also because this one time she said that Bob Dylan was just a stoner with no real talent. I've never really gotten over that.

Victor drops us off at one of the main cliffs in La Push.

"Don't wait around." Alice tells him as she climbs out of the car. He looks at both of us worriedly.

"Billy is picking us up from here." I lie, and although he looks uncertain, he seems to believe it. He tells us he'll be back later and drives away, leaving dust and freedom behind. I turn to look at Alice and smile.

"It's been so long." I tell her and she agrees.

The main cliff overlooks the ocean, it's always cold here, but today the sun is shining and seems brighter than usual. Dark green trees and shrub surround us. Down below the water appears welcoming. The sun reflects the blue and the waves do not seem very rough and as angry as usual.

Jacob and Seth arrive half an hour later, they rode their motorbikes here and look kind of attractive when they arrive. I don't see them like that, but a seventeen year old girl is allowed to appreciate. Jacob climbs off his motorbike and takes off his helmet. He smiles when he sees me. I run towards him and he lifts me into a hug, I wrap my arms around his neck and embrace him back.

"It's been forever Baby doll." He says as he puts me down.

"Where's Leah?"

"She's busy." He apologises, I shrug. I know he's lying but I let it go.

"Hey Baby doll." Seth says as he walks over to us, he extends a closed fist and I bump knuckles with him, Alice does the same with Jacob and Seth. Seth is Leah's younger brother, he's cute, but still looks like a boy. In a couple of years he'll be "oh my god, I can't breathe" Sexy, but for now he is cute. He's tall, with short cropped brunette hair. He has big puppy brown eyes and soft dark skin.

"When are you two going to teach us how to ride those?" Alice asks, pointing to the motorbikes.

"When Seth's sister stops hating us." I say and Seth laughs, Jacob doesn't find it as funny.

"She doesn't hate you." He replies quickly, defending her.

"She kind of does, man." Seth says and I giggle.

"We'll have to find someone else, if you two don't give us free lessons soon." I threaten.

"No no, we'll teach you." Jacob narrows his eyes; I know he doesn't trust anyone else to teach Charlie Swan's daughter something like riding a motorbike. "Pick a day next week." He says.

"Wednesday." I say randomly, it was the first day that popped into my head. Alice looks at me, and considers Wednesday, she shrugs.

"Wednesday's cool." She agrees.

"It's settled then." Seth states. "Wednesday, midday, Jakes house. Your first motorbike lesson."

"Cool." We all say.

"You guys ready for this?" Seth says eventually and we nod.

"It's been too long." Alice says, taking off her t-shirt, leaving her in sport shorts and a singlet, underneath we wore our bikinis. I do the same as we walk over to the cliffs edge. Seth looks at us a moment too long before doing the same, so does Jacob. They are left in shorts, without a t-shirt. And I can't help but notice how much Jake has grown over the years. Seth and Jacob are all muscles and smooth skin. The lanky boy I grew up with has gone. I have to blink twice before I can believe it.

"Stop staring." He says and I wink at him playfully. He laughs.

We all walk to the cliffs edge and look down at the water. It seems to transparent, so beautiful, so clear and blue. I can't wait to feel it wash against my skin. My bare feet sink into the soft green grass while we watch the waves below us.

"I'm nervous and I don't know why." Alice says

"You don't have to jump you know." Seth answer her, "We can just swim down there instead." He offers.

"Not me." I say and Jacob smiles down at me.

"You've always been so tough baby doll, too tough for your own good." Her mutters and I pretend I don't hear him.

"I'm doing it." Alice finally decides and I know Seth has grabbed her hand. This is how we do this. Alice is on the far left, next is Seth, he's on my left, and Jacob is on my right. We hold each other's hands, fingers between fingers, sharing the adrenaline that is pumping through our veins.

"Jump big." Jacob says before we start counting.

"One."

"Two."

"THREE!"

And then I'm in the air. And my heart is beating so fast, I can feel it through my chest, and they are all screaming but I can't form words. Their screams are like sounds of delight. I'm falling through the sky, I'm invincible. I take a deep breath and I fall into the water, I can't feel anyone's hands, they've let go.

I swim to the surface but I've lost where they others are. I've landed away from them and I'm not sure how that happened. The water is grabbing at me. I rise to the surface but the water crashes down on my face again and forces me under it. It forces me to worship it. I'm under it and I can't breathe. I'm trying but I keep getting pushed down and I don't know where any of the others are but my chest is too tight and I'm running out of air. But suddenly, I realise that this isn't a fight, it's not a war between the water and I, and so I stop pushing against it. And I sort of just float underneath the blue, salty waves.

And for some strange reason, I feel peaceful as all air leaves my lungs. I feel content, I feel clarity, and I feel like I have all the answers and no longer have to ask any questions. I feel kind of, happy.

I realise the water is drowning me. The water is killing me – but what scares me more than that, is that I also realise, in that moment, I don't mind. Not one bit.

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