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The next morning was awkward to say the least.

She'd been surprised to wake up, Stefan still in the bed next to her. He was usually gone by this point. He smiled at her, told her good morning, and had leaned over, kissing her cheek.

Guilt immediately swarmed her stomach, because the second he did so, Damon's face came to mind. She'd had dreams all night of his words and his touch. Even if it was wrong.

She'd gone downstairs moments later, to find Damon waiting for her at the kitchen counter.

"Elena."

She blushed, "I know what you're going to say, please...don't."

"We need to talk about it," he insisted.

His words were true of course, but this wasn't the time or the place.

"Not now," she told him, "Stefan's just upstairs...Later, I promise."

He nodded, and she relaxed, just as her husband joined them.

"What's for breakfast?" He asked, oblivious to the tension in the room.

"I can make omelettes," Elena offered, and he nodded.

"Perfect."

Damon still seemed in a mood though, "So when did you get in last night?"

Stefan's gaze shifted to him, "Late, I got caught up with some legalities, and it took longer than I'd thought to clear up."

Damon considered this, "Is that what's been happening all week then? Corporate issues?"

Stefan observed him, "What do you mean?"

"You're never here Stefan," Damon pointed out, "One must reason that there's an important cause."

Elena shot him a look, but he didn't stop, "I've been here over a week and I've seen more of Elena than I have of you."

Stefan actually did look ashamed, "I know. That's why I took today off."

"Why, so we could have some brother-bonding time?" Damon rolled his eyes, standing, "Why don't you spend some time with your wife instead."

He left then, going back up the stairs.

"What's his deal?" Stefan asked, turning to Elena.

"He thinks you should be home more," she stated, flipping the egg.

"Is he the one thinking that? Or have you said something?"

She glanced up at him, "I didn't have to say anything. You're never here. He was bound to notice."

Stefan rolled his eyes, "I've been working. Maybe he should try and appreciate that."

"Or maybe you should take a breather and spend time with your family," she shot, not missing the double tone, "He's just spent years overseas, to come back and have you blow him off."

"I took off today," Stefan reminded her.

"Yeah, and he's been home for over a week now."

"It took me a while to get free."

"Oh I'm sure it did," she stated.

Stefan eyed her, "And what's that suppose to mean?"

She held her ground, "Well lets just say that some people may have drawn other conclusions about why you're so 'busy'."

Stefan almost seemed to freeze, "What are you talking about?"

The look in his eyes all but confirmed it for her, "Like you don't know."

Then she was walking away as well, leaving the eggs on the stove.

Damon wanted to kick himself.

He hadn't meant for the words to spill out, but he couldn't stop it.

He'd been up all night, reliving that kiss, and thinking of how wrong it was that Stefan got to have her in his arms each night. He was never home to spend time with her, never kissed her or gave her the attention she deserved, yet he was able to call her wife, claim her heart and body if he so wished. While Damon, who would do anything for her, was forced to watch.

And now Stefan was willing to take off work for him, but not Elena. It felt wrong to him. And even though he didn't like the idea of his brother getting alone time with the gorgeous brunette, she deserved to have it, if she wanted it.

But then, last night. It hadn't been Stefan she was kissing, or Stefan she was clinging on to. It had been him. And he relished in the thought.

She still felt something, even if she wanted to deny it. And he'd gone too long without her to just give up until she admitted it to his face.

Then if she still wanted Stefan, he'd let her go. He loved her enough to want her happy.

He heard them now, arguing downstairs. Because of him, and he felt a little bad.

She was still his brother's girl, and he would take her in a heartbeat.

So much for loyalty.

But with Elena he couldn't care. He never had. Because he wanted her.

Stefan had always thrown the two of them together. When he couldn't make some event, or when he got held up. Damon had always been there to step in.

At first, he'd loved her friendship, the way he could be himself with her, and actually talk. But then he'd began to notice her beauty, both inside and out. She was perfection.

But she was also smitten with his brother. And when Stefan had proposed, she'd said yes immediately. However, Damon often wondered if there was something more behind that look in her eye. The way her gaze would hold his just a little longer than necessary. Or the way her heart would speed up when he touched her in innocent ways.

Then that Christmas, it had been confirmed. She didn't deny wanting him, and had even kissed him back. Of course, she'd ran scared afterwards. She was a good person, and he'd compromised her. So when she told him that it had been a mistake, he'd left.

He'd joined the Corps and never looked back. But her memory had lingered, always with him. Then he'd come back, and watched her marry his brother.

He'd smiled, acted happy for them, but it had killed him inside. She was happy though, and that was what mattered.

Only now, she wasn't.

He sighed, thinking of how much she'd changed. She wasn't the relaxed and fun girl he knew her to be. She was quiet, precise, and lonely.

He knew her past, what had happened with her parents. And he knew that she'd only ever wanted to have a family again. Perhaps that's why she'd agreed to Stefan so quickly.

But now, she had no one, and he hurt for her.

Because she deserved to have a husband who adored her, who would die to give her the world.

She deserved a stress free life, and a family.

He thought about the fact that she'd given up having kids, just because Stefan didn't want them. It really was a shame.

Elena was too kind, to good and compassionate. She would be a wonderful mother, and deserved to have that chance.
Idly, he began to imagine a different life, where she'd married him instead.

Where he'd never experienced the horror's of war, the loss of friends, and had just been able to be happy with her.

He would have given her a child. As many as she wanted. Just the thought of a baby with her made his heart swell with pain, of what would never be.

Because she wasn't his.

A knock at his door made him jump.

"Yeah," he called, and it opened to reveal the object of his thoughts.

"Did you still want to talk?" She asked, shutting the door behind her.

"Stefan?" He questioned and she shook her head.

"He left."

Damon felt a little guilty, "I didn't mean to piss him off."

Elena sighed, moving to sit by him on the bed, "I know."

"But he should be spending time with you, not me."

Elena's big brown doe eyes met his, "Thank you, but I'm use to it by now."

"You shouldn't have to be," he all but whispered.

She nodded, "I know."

He took her hand.

Then she chuckled a little, "We kind of suck at the whole 'let's be friends' thing, don't we?"

Damon smiled, "No. We've always been friends. But there's always been something else, too."

She nodded, looking down, "I wish there wasn't."

Damon was just surprised that she'd admitted to there being something.

"Why?"

She sighed, "Because it would make things so much easier. If we felt nothing but friendship."

Her gaze lifted to his, "I meant what I said. Stefan's my husband, and I love him, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't regretted some of my choices over the years."

Damon kept his eyes on her face, "We both have."

"If you could change one thing in the past, what would it be?" She asked.

He laughed, "Just one?"

She nodded, and he sighed, "Well, I think I would have tried harder, for you. I didn't fight for you, because I knew you wanted Stefan, and I never thought I was the type to move in on a brother's girl. But I can't help but wonder how things may be different if I had."

Elena considered this, "I'm not sure I would have appreciated it then."

He studied her, "But now?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. So much as changed."

Her eyes fell on their hands, still entwined, "I'm not an idiot, Damon. I know that I feel something for you. And at the time, it didn't matter, because what I felt for Stefan was more...But it was a dream. This imaginary life I had planned. And reality is never that simple."

"It can be," he argued and she sighed.

"I think Stefan's cheating on me."

Damon closed his eyes, because in fact, he knew it was true.

A few days back, he'd gone up to the office with Giuseppe, and Stefan's door had been cracked open. He wouldn't tell Elena, but the blond hair and long legs had confirmed everything he'd needed to know.

"I'm sorry," he said instead, and she shook her head, "No, don't be."

She laughed without humor, "It should bother me a hell of a lot more than it does, but I think I've always known. It's not like I wanted it to be true or anything, but I saw it coming. And I can't even blame him..."

Damon held her gaze, "You didn't deserve that."

She blinked at him, "Didn't I?"

Her eyes didn't waver from him, "I mean, look at what we've been doing...am I really any better?"

Damon took her face in his hands, "Yes. Because you only kissed me, and even that fills you with guilt. You fight me on it, and you hate feeling this way for me. Stefan doesn't care."

"But you're his brother," she whispered, "How wrong is that?"

Damon sighed, pulling her close, "If I could stop feeling this way about you, I would."

Her face leaned up, "But I don't want you too."

He met her gaze, "I've been a ghost in this house, for a while now. Until you came...you were right, Stefan's never loved me like you do, and it scares me. Because it's wrong, but it's never felt better."

He nodded, "So what do you want to do about it?"

"I want to pretend," she stated, moving to straddle him, "that things are different. That this-" she motioned between them, "is normal and expected."

"I wish it were, kitten," Damon breathed, as she brought her mouth down.

Her kiss was hungry, demanding. Her fingers trailed through his hair and her body was flush against his. And they were all alone.

Though he would hate himself for it, he pulled away.

"Elena. You were the one that said we can't. I don't want you to regret-"

Her lips touched over his, "I wont. It's been so long since I've felt this way, Damon, please don't stop."

He groaned, "Since when did our roles reverse? We can't, Elena. Not like this."

"Like what?" she demanded.

"You're upset," he pointed out, "You think Stefan's cheating on you, and your emotions aren't exactly in a stable place...and when we are together, I want it to be real."

She sighed, leaning her head down onto his, "I'm sorry."

He shook his, "I'm not. I want this. I want you. But the right way."

"Is there ever a right way?" She challenged.

"Yes," Damon promised, "there is. I love you, Elena. And no matter what you feel for me, you're going to regret this later."

She considered this, "I might not."

"You will," he insured her, "You're too compassionate. And I love that about you, but it also makes you feel the pain of others. And you'll hate yourself for doing this to Stefan, just because you were pissed. And I love you too much to put you through that."

She sighed, "Why do you get a conscious the minute I'm ready to give in?"

Damon smiled, "Because I can't be selfish with you. No matter how much I want to."

He kissed her again, short and hard, before letting her slip from his lap.

Elena stood, taking in the man in front of her. He was wonderful, truly, and his eyes showed just how much he cared for her. A love she didn't deserve.

"I shouldn't want you to be selfish," She stated.

"I'm glad you do," he admitted, "But you need to figure out what you want first."

She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself, "I don't know what I want."

He pulled her into his embrace, "Yes you do, you just don't want to admit it."

She laid her head on his shoulder, "It feels wrong to think it."

"It's not wrong, if it's what your heart wants," he pulled away to look at her, "But you need to say it."

She shook her head, "I can't."

Damon sighed, cupping her cheek, "Please, Elena. I need to hear it."

She met his smoldering gaze, and her resolve crumbled, "Fine. I want you."

The words were barely a whisper, but Damon's eyes closed against their impact.

"But..." he added, and she nodded.

"But I don't feel like I should. I can't want you, Damon. Not when..."

"When you're married to my brother," he finished, and she closed her eyes.

"Exactly."

He kissed her forehead, "I know you love him, Elena. But is this really what you want?"

She considered this, "I like the life I have. I can work on my books, I have good friends, your mother lets me help out with the council, but there are things I wish were different."

"Like?" He urged.

"I wish I had given myself time, before deciding to marry Stefan. Because I do care about him, but we were never right for each other. Of course, at the age we were, you'd never admit that. But now, look at us. He's hitting it up with some secretary while I'm falling for his brother all over again."

Damon held her gaze, "Are you?"

She blushed, but nodded, "I've wondered a few times over the years, what it might have been like, if Stefan and I hadn't worked out, and you and I gave it a chance..."

"I've thought of it too," he assured her, "Many times."

She nodded, "But dreams don't change much, Damon. Reality is still what it is. I'm married to your brother, and pining after you."

He smiled a little, "At least you aren't denying it."

"I can't," she sighed, "Not anymore. Because I want you. I want to be with you, and know what it feels like to be loved by you. To have you touch me, and kiss you whenever I want, just because I can. But that's never going to happen."

"Because of Stefan?" Damon inquired, and she nodded.

"But, if he's cheating on you...and if you feel this way, maybe-"

She shook her head, "No, Damon. We can't. Even if Stefan is cheating, and even if I have feelings for you...we can't."

"And why not?" he insisted.

"Because it's wrong! You're his brother, Damon. Can you imagine how people would react? Your parents, my friends...It's not right."

He blinked, "So you're worried about what people will think?"

"No...I'm worried about what I would think of myself."

Damon scoffed, "Well it wasn't bothering you five minutes ago when you were in my lap."

She blushed, "I can't think straight around you. I want you, especially like that. But it's different. Stefan wouldn't know, no one would. If it were bigger, a divorce even, it would all come out. And I'm not going to drag everyone through that."

He studied her, "So it's okay to take what you want from me? As long as it stays a secret?"

"No," She promised, "That's not what I'm saying."

She took his face in her hands now, "Damon...I may be selfish enough to want you that way, but I can't be selfish enough to do that to your family. To Stefan,and everyone else. Even to us. Do you not think that we wouldn't be looked down on, if all of this cleared out? That your mother wouldn't despise me for it? Or that people wont whisper?"

He pulled away from her, "Well then I'm sorry our feelings are causing such an inconvenience."

"Don't do that," she scolded, "Don't close up on me."

He set his jaw, but met her eyes, "You need to figure out what you want, Elena. Because I can't live with just part of you."

She let her gaze drop, "You shouldn't have to."

Guilt swarmed over Damon's face, "Elena, I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do right now. I want you, so much. And you want the same. Stefan's cheating, and you aren't happy with him. So why can't we just screw what everyone else thinks and be together?"

She sighed, "If it were only that simple. But do you really think that we could be together, and be happy?"

He nodded, "I've never wanted anyone but you."

She eyed him, "Now that, I don't believe. You were the one with the man-whore reputation before leaving."

He chuckled, "Wanting your brother's fiancee calls for a distraction sometimes."

She smiled, "Well I'm sure the girls were more than willing."

He winked at her, and she rolled her eyes, "Don't even."

He laughed, "We would be good together, you know. Good for each other."

She nodded, "We would be."

"Then there's the 'but'," Damon sighed, and she chuckled.

"Unfortunately. But we don't have to figure it all out right away. You're going to be back for a while, and we know where we stand. We can see what happens."

He squeezed her hand, "If that's what you want. But don't expect me to play fair, Elena. I want to be with you. Really be with you, not just some affair. And I'll do anything it takes to show you that I'm the one you should be with."

Elena sighed, leaning into his shoulder, "You never did make it easy."

Damon chuckled, "Well I have to do something. Especially knowing that Stefan has the advantage. I have to watch while he claims you, anytime he wants. He can kiss you, hold you, touch you, and it's not wrong. I want that."

Elena blushed, "He doesn't."

Damon raised an eyebrow, "Doesn't what?"

"Touch me," she admitted, "I mean, we haven't been...together, like that, in months."

Damon stared at her, looking almost...relieved? Before his face turned into a smirk.

"No wonder you were so ready to jump me."

She laughed, punching his arm lightly, "Don't be a dick."
Damon sobered then, "It's his loss, Elena.

She felt her blush building again, as he leaned forward. Their lips were almost touching when her phone rang.

She chuckled, pulling away, "Sorry."

He motioned for her to take it, and she looked at the screen.

"It's your mom," she told him, answering it.

"Elena? You there?" Mary sounded rushed.

"Yeah, is everything okay?"

"Of course," her mother-in-law huffed, "Just trying to get everything arranged for tomorrow! I can't believe we've managed to get it all together this quickly. But I was going to talk to Stefan about getting that check from the company to donate, but his phone is off or something. I was hoping that you would- No that goes over there- anyway, that maybe you had heard from him."

Elena sighed, "No, he left here a while ago. He might be at the office."

"Okay, I'll try his phone there again. Or maybe Giuseppe will be able to- Can you make sure those are hung straight please- Look, I need to go. But I'll see you tomorrow?"

Elena chuckled, "Yes mam."

"Good. And make sure the boys are suitable."

Then she was gone, Elena was left shaking her head.

"Everything good?" Damon asked.

She nodded, "Yeah, she's just freaking out about tomorrow. I'd almost completely forgotten."

"The charity masquerade?"

She sighed, "She wants you and Stefan to both be looking good."

Damon smiled, "I always look good."

She rolled her eyes, "Well, it doesn't come so easy for all of us. I'm sure I can get Caroline to go dress shopping with me."

Damon chuckled, "Well, have fun. That is one trip I wont be attending."

She smiled at him, "Aw you don't want to pick out a pretty dress?"

He smirked, "That. And I want to avoid Blondie's twenty-questions."

Elena groaned then, "Maybe I'll ask Bonnie instead."

Damon laughed, "Well, I'm going to go to Mom's, spend time with her and see if there's anything I can do to help. Why don't you call your friends and have a nice afternoon."

She leaned in, surprising him, catching his lips in a quick kiss, "Thank you."

He smiled, "I just want you happy."