Anchor

Chapter 4

Jinora and Yung had been walking around the dock of The Waterbender that morning, walking the length of the boat. Jinora counted the rowboats as they passed them, her brow furrowing when she paused at an empty rigging. There should have been a rowboat there, making ten in total, but instead there was only nine. "Yung, there's a rowboat missing, isn't there?" Jinora said, turning to face him in time to see him stiffen.

"Um, yeah there is," Yung confirmed.

"Why?"

"Well, uh…" Yung lowered his voice. "It's because of Zaheer, our old Captain. But Kai doesn't like it being talked about."

"Well now I have to know," Jinora replied. Yung sighed, leaning against the railing and gesturing for Jinora to do the same, which she did.

"You cannot bring it up okay? I know you two don't really get along, even if it has been better lately." Jinora nodded, now more curious than ever. "See, around 5 years back – God, Kai was 16, it seems crazy to think about – Otaku messed up on some coordinates and we missed this big score. Things were bloodier under Zaheer, I think he just liked killing near the end of it, and he was so mad he was going to kill Otaku, but..." Jinora's eyes widened, frowning. Obviously Zaheer hadn't succeeded, as Otaku was pouring over maps only fifteen feet away, but it was still horrible to think about. And she knew that Kai would never consider killing a crew member.

"But what?" Jinora pressed.

"But Kai stepped in," Yung finished.

Jinora inhaled sharply. She glanced away and found Kai up by the steering wheel, talking to Appa. She could say a lot of things about him – arrogant and annoying came to mind almost immediately – but she couldn't say he didn't care about his crew. "And then what happened?" Jinora asked, surprising herself with how invested she had gotten in the story. She and Kai had been getting along a bit better, thanks to her continued sword-fighting lessons, but it wasn't like she cared about him or anything.

"Things had always been tense between Kai and Zaheer once he started getting older – he was practically raised on this ship from the time he was nine, y'know – Kai didn't like the way he went after poor merchant ships, or killed when he didn't need to. So Kai challenged him to a duel, one of the best sword fights I've seen in my life. Kai won, just barely... It - it was bad," Yung admitted. "How he got the large scar on his back."

Jinora could picture the scar, marred flesh in a thin, white line, crawling up Kai's back, spreading over his shoulder-blades. She winced. It must have been painful.

"Kai spared Zaheer's life," Yung continued. "Always a ruler breaker, that boy is – cause Zaheer helped him out when he was kid. But he made Zaheer leave and Zaheer took the lifeboat. Rumour has it Zaheer's the Captain of a new ship now, called the Red Lotus, but they roam the South Waters. Bet he'd love to get revenge, though."

"That was awfully brave of him," Jinora said slowly, and Yung smiled a little, even as another thought nagged at her. "But…why did he join the crew so young? He was just a child."

Yung's smile faded. "His folks died when he was a baby, I think. He won't even tell me the whole story, and I'm pretty sure I know him better than anyone. I know that for a while, he scraped by on the streets on his own – how he got so handy with a knife, although I hate to think what forced that – until I found him, and I convinced Zaheer to let him on."

Jinora couldn't help but feel sad. Kai certainly hadn't had an easy life. No wonder he thought she was spoiled, and she supposed she was. She had always had more than enough to eat and a roof over her head. No dangerous sword fights, or scars, or struggling just to survive. "No wonder he calls me spoiled," she said quietly.

"Even I can be considered spoiled, compared to him," Yung said. "Not a word to him, now Jinora," he warned, their eyes locking. "Kai's never wanted anyone's pity, least of all yours."

"Of course," Jinora said.

She found it hard to keep her promise though, as Kai coached her through how to throw a punch. They had started working on hand-to-hand combat for the first time that afternoon, and the scar was stretched tightly over his back rippled as he rolled his shoulders. Whatever weapon that had caused it had obviously been dragged down, or up, his back. Not too deep probably, although she didn't know much about how wounds healed. It could have been very deep. Dangerously deep. How close had Kai come, to losing his life?

And not just that time, but on the streets too. How he got so handy with a knife. Had he been attacked often, on the streets?

"Gyatso, are you even paying attention? Your form's pathetic," Kai said, shooting her a look and shaking his head, looking almost disappointed. "I'm not going to teach you if you're going to waste my time."

"I -" Her excuse got caught in her throat, and Jinora ducked her head. "Sorry," she said finally. "I just...got distracted, thinking."

"You know that's dangerous for you," Kai replied, echoing her words of the previous day, but she could tell he meant it. "A pirate isn't going to think twice about using that weakness. You gotta learn how to tune everything else out and just focus on the fight. So go on, practice your punches again." Jinora threw a couple of punches, clenching her fists tightly, and gritting her teeth. Kai nodded slightly in approval. "Much better. Not good enough, but better. Again."

Jinora went through the exercise a few more times, before she asked, "Who taught you how to fight, anyway?" She paused, glancing at Kai out of the corner of her eye, trying to gauge his reaction. He simply strode over and lifted her arms a little higher, his expression blank.

"How to fist fight?" Kai said. "Myself. Taught myself how to use a knife too. Sword fighting though, I learned some stuff from Yung and...the old Captain, before me." Jinora pursed her lips, and Kai shot her a look. "Alright," Kai said sternly, crossing his arms over his bare chest. "What did Yung tell you, Gyatso?"

"He told me about Zaheer. And that you were on the streets," she confessed, dropping her arms to her sides. There was no point in lying.

Kai sighed, running a hand through his hair. "God knows he can't keep a secret. If he wasn't there for it I never would have told him."

"Why not? It's not a bad thing," Jinora said, trying to meet his eyes. "You risked your life to save Otaku's. In fact I think it was rather…heroic." She hadn't quite meant to say it, but no other word seemed to fit. She just hoped it wouldn't inflate his ego, and that he wouldn't point out how it was the first time she had ever really complimented him (face-to-face, anyway) either.

Kai's lips twitched upwards, although he still seemed surprised at the compliment. "You calling me a hero, Gyatso?"

"No, Captain," she said simply, regaining her composure. "I'm simply saying you did a heroic deed. There's a difference." Jinora tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Kai snorted. "Good, 'cause I'm no hero."

"What makes you say that?"

Kai shook his head at her. "Not so fast Gyatso, can't have you learning all my secrets." He uncrossed his arms and stood in front of her. "Now come on, try and hit me." Jinora's fist landed lightly against his jaw, and Kai shook his head again. "Harder, Gyatso, like you mean it. Pretend I'm one of your suitors, if that helps." Heat rose to her cheeks, despite herself. The very idea that Kai would ever be a suitor to her was completely ridiculous. She cleared her throat and punched him harder, and Kai took a step back. "Better. I'll see if I can get one of Otaku's hardcover books for you to practice on, I don't think my face can take too much of it. You won't mind punching a book, right?"

"Of course not." Kai turned to leave, surely to get her the book and then leave her to her own devices for the afternoon, when she said, "Captain." Kai stopped, looking at her curiously. "You saved another man's life, and you don't think you're a hero, even slightly...why?"

Kai ran a hand through his hair again, his brow furrowing. "I did what anyone else would have done."

"But nobody else challenged Zaheer," Jinora pointed out. "You were the only one."

"Somebody else would have," Kai insisted.

Jinora stared at him. "Why can't you just accept that you did a good thing, a heroic thing? For Christ's sake, you even liberate slave ships, and that sure as hell didn't happen until you became Captain." Kai rolled his eyes, and part of Jinora wanted to smack him again. "I called you selfish once, but the fact is you're not."

"I thought you weren't calling me a hero, Gyatso," Kai said, leaning down slightly so they were practically nose to nose, his eyes boring into hers. "Why're you changing your mind?"

"Because you need to change yours," Jinora snapped, not turning away. "And accept that maybe, you're a better person than you want to admit you are, and it's obvious because you always act so arrogant, and confident, but the fact is you are a pretty good person, even if you are a pirate. I don't know what happened when you were a kid but-"

"Exactly, you don't know what happened. You don't know what I did. What I've done." Kai stepped away from her. "My...my mother died, because of me. Because I was born." He kept his back to her, as Jinora stared at him, surprised. It seemed like he was actually...vulnerable. Not arrogant, or annoying, or ordering her around. Acting like she was another member of the crew, maybe. Or something close to it anyway.

"Women die in childbirth every year," Jinora said softly. "It's not your fault."

"I wish that was what happened," Kai said darkly. "I - I'm not having this conversation. Not with anyone, and certainly not with you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jinora said, trying not to sound hostile. Kai still kept his back to her, and she wondered if he was holding back tears. What she would do if he was. She tentatively laid a hand on his shoulder. "I know I can't understand," her voice grew softer with every word. "Especially if you won't tell me. And you don't have to. I do understand that some things are too...difficult to be shared. But just because I'm rich, doesn't mean I don't know what misery's like."

Kai raised his head slightly, and she withdrew her hand as he turned to face her. "Thank you, Gyatso. Your training's done, for the day." Jinora jerked her head forwards in a stiff nod, stepping away.

With her now free afternoon, she went below decks and sought out Yung. It took a while for her to find him, finally discovering him in the crew's main dorm room, knocking quietly on the door before entering. Yung, luckily, was alone, everyone else spread throughout the ship, most of them already chowing down on a mid-afternoon snack.

"You said something to Kai."

It wasn't a question. Jinora nodded again. "Yes. I - I didn't know it would lead to that, though. You've seen him?"

This time Yung nodded. "Staring off into the horizon, frowning. You dragged up some bad memories, I'm afraid. He's always had a hard time keeping his demons on a leash."

"He said he was the reason his mother died," Jinora said quietly, and Yung raised his eyebrows. She sat down next to him on his bed. "Not in childbirth. But I don't understand, how else would she have died?" Yung frowned deeply.

"I'm surprised he told you that much. Believe it or not, that is him opening up, even if it doesn't seem like it."

Jinora frowned, clasping her hands together and resting them on her lap. "You know what happened, don't you?"

"I have my suspicions," Yung corrected her. "I don't know for sure, but I know a little... He got a nightmare, once, when he was younger. I'm sure he has more, but that was the only time I caught it. It's not my story to tell, however."

"No of course not," Jinora agreed quickly. "I'm just glad he has someone to tell."

The corners of Yung's mouth curved upwards. "Am I sensing actual concern for our dear Captain?"

"Your dear Captain," Jinora corrected him. "And me, concerned? As if." She shuffled uncomfortably under his gaze, as she knew he didn't believe her. But her, concerned about Kai? She wouldn't have thought it possible. But she also never would have imagined ever thinking something Kai had done was heroic, let alone argue that maybe he was a good person. Wasn't that the reason she had sought Yung out? Because maybe, deep down, she was a little worried she had hurt Kai?

Yung's smile grew. "Whatever you say. But Jinora, in all seriousness, don't press the issue, alright? I've known Kai for over half his life, and I still don't know everything. You've known him for nearly two weeks. Although, I have to say, I think you two have more in common than you realize." He took a book from a nearby table. "Here's the book, so you can practice."

It was a thick, hard covered volume, an Atlas with pages slightly yellow from age, still firm against her hands with surprising weight. Jinora lightly drummed her fingers over the cover for a moment. "Thank you, Yung," she said finally. She stood up, clutching the book to her chest.

The least she could do now, after everything, was practice.

"Kai?"

The Captain looked up to see Yung approaching him, the older man placing a hand on his shoulder. It wasn't often he had visitors in the Captain's quarters, but he a feeling from Yung's expression that this was a private conversation. Kai looked up at him as Yung sat down beside him on the bed. "Coming to talk to me about Gyatso, aren't you?"

"I think you need to talk about it," Yung said firmly. "Before you put your walls back up. I've seen you at your worst, Kai, there's no point hiding from me."

Kai sighed. "If you think that you've seen me at my absolute worst, than you're a lot more ignorant of what happens on the streets than I thought."

Yung scratched his head. "Yeah, I could have phrased that better. But you know what I meant, Kai." When Kai didn't say anything, Yung added, "I'm surprised you opened up to Jinora."

"I didn't open up to Gyatso," he said flatly. "It just...slipped out. She wouldn't leave me alone. Kept saying that what I did, standing up against Zaheer and all, was heroic, or whatever. That I was a good person. Even I'm a pirate."

"Oh my, what a horrible thing to hear," Yung said sarcastically. Kai narrowed his eyes at him, and Yung threw up his hands. "I don't know why you were so against what she was saying, anyway. Jinora came to see me after, and you know what that means? She cares." Kai snorted. "She does, Kai, whatever you may think, and I know she's sorry if she hurt you, or dragged up some bad memories. And I know that you care about her."

At that, Kai laughed, even if it did sound forced. "Yeah right."

"If you didn't care, her words wouldn't have struck such a strong chord," Yung pointed out. "You've been getting along better lately, haven't you?"

"If by better you mean we're not biting each other's heads off all the time, then yeah. What's she doing now, anyway?"

"Practicing her punches, and don't change the subject," Yung said sharply. "My point is-"

"The point is Gyatso doesn't understand me well enough to make a judgement on my character," Kai said, a low growl underlying his words. But just because I'm rich, doesn't mean I don't know what misery's like. Maybe what he had said wasn't entirely true - maybe she did understand him better than he thought, somehow - but Kai wasn't about to retract his statement. "I may have made some good choices, but that doesn't make me a good person. And even if I am, she shouldn't be advocating for it. She's our hostage, and she doesn't care about me, and I don't care about her."

"She hasn't just been a hostage for a while," Yung replied. "You're teaching her how to fight, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah-"

"You wouldn't be teaching her if you didn't care. And you could have gotten one of us to teach her, but you chose to do it yourself, even though as Captain you'd be able to exempt yourself from the task with ease," Yung said.

"I'm the best swordsman," Kai said with a shrug. "And I need something to keep me busy, anyway, when we're at sea for long periods."

"You shared your beer with her."

"So?"

"You don't share you beer with anyone."

"She was thirsty."

"Not for the beer I bet."

Kai looked at him incredulously. "Hey, first of all, sexual innuendos are supposed to be my thing, and second of all, Gyatso is not attracted to me; she's one of the very few women who can resist my charms."

"But you can't resist hers, obviously," Yung smirked. Kai gaped at him. "Oh come on, you think the crew and I don't see the way you teach her how to sword fight? You'd never think of touching us the way you touch her."

Heat flooded Kai's cheeks. "I don't- it -" He sighed. "Look, Yung, why did you come to talk to me? To convince me that what Gyatso said was right? Because the crew wants some gossip?"

"I came to check on my friend," Yung said, his smirk being replaced by a more serious, thoughtful frown. "And to tell you that Jinora isn't going to push for answers, and that you don't have to worry about her blabbing about it to anyone; it's not her type."

"I wasn't worried." But Kai looked a little relieved anyway.

Yung clapped him on the shoulder. "So, you're going to be okay?"

"Tomorrow, yeah. Just give me tonight to work through it," Kai requested. Yung smiled slightly, standing up and walking out of the room, leaving Kai mercifully alone. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing again.

He did join the crew for dinner, and noticed Jinora watching him as he walked in. Kai raised his eyebrows at her as he took his seat at the head of the table. Her new chair was a nice one, made of a dark type of wood. (Oak maybe?) She caught his eye and she gave him a small smile, and Kai nodded.

Jinora was distracted when Otaku started talking to her (she had finally finished the book he'd lent her) but was content knowing at least, Kai wasn't mad at her and that tomorrow, things would be normal.

Not that she cared, of course.