"You believe any of it?" Mal asked as Simon finished recounting the events that transpired in the hold to the rest of the crew (minus River of course).
"That's what's so confusing about all of it. He was right that, logically I know that what he told me must be a lie, but on a deeper level… I feel like he could've lied much better if he'd really wanted to. Honestly after all of that the only things I can tell you that he didn't tell me are that he reads, quite a bit I imagine, and he's not from the rim planets," Simon told them.
"Don't tell me I'm the only one not trackin' with all a that," Jayne said as he looked around at the other faces.
"And the doctor was trying so hard to use small, simple words," Zoe remarked smugly. Jayne just glared at her and scowled menacingly.
"And we still have no idea what to do with him," Mal shook his head in a frustrated way.
"Airlock!" Jayne tossed out. "Don't have to be in the black. Just drop 'im off on the next rock we pass," he shrugged.
"Jayne, leave the thinking to smarter, prettier people," Inara said acidicly.
"I don't see the harm in just lettin' him talk with River," Kaylee told them.
"We don't know what he wants with her," Simon protested.
"Lookit him, he's a boy… a TEENAGE boy, River's a teenage girl, he said they went to school together. He's prolly just sweet on 'er, River is somethin' mighty adorable. Ask me it's awful romantic, him chasin' her cross the 'Verse like that," Kaylee suggested. Her eyes were all lit up just thinking about it, Jayne could almost swear he saw little hearts in her eyes.
"Get serious here Kaylee. Nobody'd go that far for a crazy piece a tail like moonbrain," Jayne said dismissively.
"Some folks don't hafta buy their lovin' by the hour," Kaylee bit back.
"If either of you are suggesting that he's after my sister for… sex… then I find that all the more reason he shouldn't be in the same room as her," Simon told them, quieting noticeably at the mention of sex. He blushed slightly.
"Least somebody'd be gettin' some," Kaylee muttered flatly with a roll of her eyes.
"So that's where we stand? Either he's tellin' the truth or he wants to knock boots?" Mal asked after they all took a few minutes to consider other possibilities. He stood up as he turned to head toward the infirmary again.
"What are you doing?" Simon asked him suddenly.
"Gettin' us some answers," Mal answered tersely.
"How?" Simon pressed as he stepped up beside him.
"I'm gunna give 'im what he wants, see how it turns out," Mal responded.
"I won't agree to that!" Simon said as he stood between him in the door.
"Allow me to make this clear: my boat, my crew, my call. I ain't askin' permission doc, this is gunna happen. Now I'm a mite tired of stumblin' around in the dark. Might be yer pretty little sister could shed some light on things, peek inside his head. So how 'bout instead of gettin' all puffed up, you join me, Zoe, and Jayne in lookin' after her in there," Mal told him coolly. Simon's eyes widened in outrage as he intercepted him at the door to the infirmary. He was just about to respond when the doors opened from behind him.
"The girl… I-I can do this Simon," she told him softly. He wheeled around to look at her.
"You were listening?" Simon asked her nervously as he turned to her tenderly.
"She doesn't have to listen to hear. She understands, you love her, but you worry about her too much. The girl is stronger than you think. She can do this. She can help," River told him confidently.
"River… you don't know what you can do, just because you haven't found your limits doesn't mean they don't exist," Simon urged her protectively.
"The girl is not a child, she knows what she is doing, she knows the risk but she wants to help… if she can," she told him firmly. Simon's look was conflicted, generally speaking he wanted to encourage her, but he was worried that this might trigger a backslide in her, one that he couldn't drag her out of. But he knew his sister well, if her mind was made up, she'd do this with or without him.
"Let me grab my bag, just in case," he relented softly as he stepped aside to let River past. ~
The captain stepped in first, his stride lacked its usual cocky swagger, he was being direct, a soldier. Then came the muscle, he stalked forward, agitated; trying to be intimidating, the boy almost laughed at the thought. Then came the hellcat, mare's leg resting on her shoulder. The muscle had chosen a knife, well-maintained, to stroke, and the captain pulled the front of his coat back behind his gunbelt.
Don' tense up, best to wait for 'em to make a move he told himself patiently. "Y'all come in here lookin' all serious now, ain't makin' no effort to hide them guns. Gotta wonder what kinda idgit goes bringin' a knife to a gunfight though," he said with a smirk as he looked to the big fellah.
"Sir, I find his character to be much more refreshing this go 'round," the hellcat said flatly. Zoe he reminded himself of her name. When talkin' call 'er Zoe, she's gotta name and it ain't 'hellcat' he berated himself mentally. He was amazed, even when she lacked the humor it seemed she couldn't always stop the deadpanning.
"Lady's got taste," he smiled to her. Not too much charm, they get suspicious a that. He was trying to remember another of the notes he'd taken earlier. Add a 'sir', cap'n likes to be called cap'n or sir. "-sir," he added.
"We are serious. No more games," the cap'n said in his soft, gently final tone.
"Y'all sure? I hear I play a mean hand a poker," he offered confidently. Too much sarcasm, dial it back. "Alright then, what can I do fer y'all?" he said as he sat up straight like they'd expected of him.
"We're gunna reach a little understanding, you an' me. We let you see River, and you don't so much as twitch in a way we find even a mite unsettlin', seein' as we don't wanna fill you with holes. You're gunna tell us, and River, everything, then we'll decide where we stand," the cap'n told him sternly.
"You ain't much fer a negotiator, lettin' me get what I want and not askin' anything more'n I was gunna give ya anyway… I hope the crew don't let you barter prices for 'em," he snarked. Perfect balance of acquiescence and sarcasm, don't overplay it, control the situation.
"If you do anything we don't like- If anything happens to her, say she has one of her breakdowns, or you attack her, hell, even if she has a gorram heart-attack, anything, I don't care; I'll let Jayne interduce ya to his knife in a manner can only be properly 'scribed as intimately pornographic," Mal clarified for him sternly.
"Long's he keeps his pants on," he responded with a smirk. Bad call, no sarcasm now, be serious! he warned himself, suddenly remembering his stony face. "Understood, cap'n," he amended seriously. The captain backed to the door and cracked it open slightly and waved somebody inside. ~
River watched distractedly as Simon entered the room and backed away from the door, he was radiating waves of dark yellow, anxiety she guessed, touched with hues of deep orange, frustration. The captain's aura consisted of reds and blues, he was projecting a coldness, he was wary of the visitor, but curious. Zoe was her usual brown, calm and reasoned but edged with red intensity. Then there was Jayne, he threw the room out of sorts, ranging from red to green to indigo, Jayne was always a little more open with his feelings, but he was filtering out how she saw the rest of the room.
She stepped in calmly, she was still surprised at how obviously they were all awed at the fluidity of her movement, Mal was standing in front of the door, she couldn't see the one who had caused such an uproar, but as soon as she entered the room and the others saw her, their auras began to mimic Simon's, though to a lesser degree. Then she stepped around the captain and saw him.
There was no color coming from him, he was grey, like… static, she hadn't had this problem before, she didn't have to try to see the colors, only to get the pictures or hear the voices. She focused her mind on him harder, her head tilting awkwardly to one-side in an instinctive action of curiosity. She stared at him intently, moving slowly, but directly, then he narrowed his eyes slightly, and it all changed.
The 'Verse around them fell away, the girl and the trickster stood there in an open plane of white, nobody around them. Then, in a flash they stood there in a ballroom, music playing softly in the background.
"What have you done?" she asked, a touch of panic leaking into her voice.
"My apologies, but the rest of what I have to say, is for you, and you alone. I needed to speak to you in private, and they weren't about to let that happen, so I decided to circumnavigate the problem," he explained.
"You doesn't sound right," River told him suspiciously.
"Our minds are tied directly into each other right now, my thoughts to yours, you hear me in the way you can understand me best, pure data transfer, and since we've never spoken directly, you hear my words as you would say them… in the comfort of your mind," he explained.
"The girl understands… she thinks. Where are they?" she asked him in clipped tones.
"In reality we are still back in the ship, right now the exchange of information is almost instantaneous, but what you see around you is a mental construct, designed on my part to put you at ease. What do you see?" he responded shortly.
"There is more to the question than it would suggest," River answered nervously.
"You and I are not seeing the same thing right now. This is setup to put us both at ease, what puts me at ease will not do the same for you. I see a library, I like to read," the trickster shared.
"I see a ballroom, I wish to dance, though perhaps not with you," she answered him.
"River, in your mind you can make the image of me do whatever you wish, though I would prefer nothing explicit," he told her. She tried it out, without interrupting his words he raised his right index finger up to touch his nose. She tried it again, he did a splendid little plié, the absurdity of it made her giggle slightly. "Have you had your fun?" he asked her as she made him do a pirouette. Once the turn was done she nodded with a smile, then she remembered he was trying to put her at ease, which meant something.
"What do you want with me?" she asked him suspiciously.
"Who says I want anything?" he asked her in a quixotic tone.
"You've gone to great lengths, and put yourself in considerable danger, with the goal of speaking to her. Kaylee believes you are infatuated with me," she explained.
"I have to admit that I do find you fascinating," he shrugged.
"That is not the same thing," River answered, a touch of disappointment colored her tone.
"Did you want me to be infatuated with you?" he asked her.
"It's never happened to me before, I was curious what it would look like; if it was different when it was considered in a direct manner than as an impartial observer," she reasoned it out for him.
"Perhaps you've already experienced it, but didn't know it was happening," he suggested. There was something behind the way he was thinking, it was... mysterious.
"What do you want with me?" she repeated when she realized he had diverted her focus.
"I have something to give you, a proposition of sorts," he responded.
"You need my help," she stated, she wasn't asking, she was sensing it from her.
"I WANT your help," he corrected with emphasis.
"You WANT it because you NEED it, but you don't want me to know," she answered coyly with a smile, she was getting things out of him now.
"I'm at war," he told her plainly, she didn't see how it connected, but she decided to do as he had, follow the tangent and wait for the connections to grow.
"With me?" she asked curiously.
"Not unless you want it that way. No, my war is with others, others that you know. I hunt those that hunt you," the trickster confided. Now things were serious for River.
"You're trying to draw her out, to trick her into confronting them, so they can take her," she accused sharply. Then he did something new, he let her into his mind slightly, she could see his colors. He was a strange mix of violet and pink, he was trying to convey that he wasn't lying to her, trying to make her feel emotionally secure with him.
"I'm not tricking you, I'm fighting them River, because I'm like you. I ran, after you did of course, but for years I ran, thinking I could get away from them, or find a place to hide, but here's the truth. There is no place to hide, no place to run far enough that they won't pursue you. It's in their nature, they take things, and they don't stop, they'll take everything from you if you let them," he warned her.
"So you think yourself the valiant knight, standing up to them, chasing justice?" she asked him in a bemused tone.
"I am no Knight, and for people like you and I, there is no justice, we must take solace in his dark twin," he answered her.
"You seek vengeance," she corrected as she returned her attention to what he'd said and not how he'd said it.
"They took something from me, from us, so I intend to take EVERYTHING from them! I will watch as everything they hold dear is ripped from their hands and built into their funeral pyre. I will set their world in FLAMES, and watch, LAUGHING, as it consumes them bit by bit until nothing remains but a smoking cinder," he told her intensely as all other hues leached from his body and he became a deep, brooding red. He was starting to tremble as his knuckles tensed up and were blanched white. He was having trouble keeping his emotions in check. This red, it touched his center as none of his previous colors ever truly had before, he felt it the purest.
"You're fueled by rage, to the point you could be it's embodiment," she noted. "What did they take from you?" she asked him. Suddenly the colors retracted, the air between them was colored only with her own blue confusion.
"A friend, perhaps the only I've ever truly had, they were trying to use him, to get to you, but once his part was played, they killed him," he admitted, but River could sense this wasn't the truth, at least not the entire truth, he'd cut her off before she could find what he really sought to avenge.
"Mr. Universe," she realized. His aura returned, but this time it was too diluted to get a clear grasp on, he felt a myriad of things hearing the name.
"The very same, he was a friend of mine, back when I was still running, and they killed him. This wasn't all, it was simply the spark atop the tinder, since then they've done nothing but add to the kindling," he told her though a clenched jaw.
"You can't win," she told him softly, placing a hand on his forearm in a manner she meant to be both consoling and softening. It caused him to take a moment to reign in his fury, not to alleviate it, simply to get better control. There were darker colors, more thought was being put in, and she could tell this was his most natural state… angry, but cerebrally so, as opposed to openly enraged.
"I choose to believe that I can't lose," he told her with a smirk after a moment.
"You deceive yourself," she insisted.
"Maybe, but I haven't lost yet," he replied. He opened himself to her, this was a dull purple, it was the truth, but only in the way he chose to interpret it.
"Just because you haven't lost, doesn't mean you've always won," she pointed out.
"It's a start, and the alternative is to live the rest of my life in fear, always ducking my head and running at the first sign of them," he told her. River considered it for a moment, thinking intently on everything she knew before deciding to move away from this line of questioning.
"Why aren't you broken like me?" she asked him.
"I am, not exactly alike, mind you, but in ways both different and the same; some of which I can understand, none of which I feel like sharing with you at this point," he told her with a sense of finality. Then his face softened a touch. "Given time I may be able to help you, to assist in trying to fix you, but I can't make you whole again, I can't make you how you were. I know Simon thought you were cured, but you were pretending," he offered her. "Why did you pretend?" he asked.
"Simon's ego is very fragile, his faith in himself and what he does are very externally driven. He's a good doctor, but he needed to see results-," she started to explain to him.
"So you pretended, gave him the results he needed to see, hid the problems from him, let him believe you were better. You're a good person,"
"If I help you, you'll help me" River stipulated.
"Even if you don't. I don't want you to feel like you have to help me, if the chance to live free of the blue hands, to never worry about stray advertisements turning you into a weapon, to live a life as normal as people like us are allowed, is not enough to sway you, then I won't try to bribe you. Anything I have, anything I know, that might help you, is yours by right, nobody should experience what we have. Nobody should be put through what they put us through, anything I can do to alleviate some of the burden, I will, on one condition," he told her gently.
"What?" she asked him.
"If you won't help me… DON'T get in my way! I will not be stopped, I will not be diverted. If you make me, I will kill you and everyone around you, if I have to. I won't want to, but if it comes down to it, that's how things stand. If nothing else I've told you, understand this: I might be like you in some ways, but I am NOT a good person. What I am, is the best at what I do," he warned her intently.
River blinked, and suddenly the ship was around them again, images of the ballroom fading to the nether. She decided he'd ended the private part of the discussion. Nothing had changed in the hold… instantaneous communication.
The trickster looked at her, he was hopeful that he'd made his point. She looked around the room at all the concern floating there.
"The girl agrees… she will help you," she said to ease the tensions. The rest of the crew seemed confused.
"Shiny," he answered with shades of contentment rolling off of him. He stood up when the rest of the crew sensed the change, they were all understandably confused, but the threat had passed they felt. He stood up slowly with that same smirk, making sure the others wouldn't hurt him. He marched up to her, his stride confident and fluid, then he surprised her. Just as they got close he bent down to kiss her, right on the lips. River was stunned, so rarely was she surprised by what others did, she didn't like this developement. In her stunned revery she felt the waves of differing reactions washing over her in a torrent of colors and words, from the pink flowery thoughts she recognized as Kaylee, to the green thoughts held by Jayne, to the stunning blues of confusion flowing from Simon.
She made a note to herself. The trickster likes chaos.