{4. Tread Carefully }
{Edward}
My fingers flew over the keys creating a melody I knew all too well. A melody that both calmed and excited me. Made me sad yet happy to exist. Her lullaby. Sad and slow yet light and hopeful. I knew it by heart. Played it continually. It still resounded in me like it was the first time.
The final note hung in the air and I let my hands rest for the first time since I'd gotten home. It hadn't taken long. I sprinted through the trees as fast as my legs could carry me. The combination of the sadness in her voice and the memory of her warm body pressed against mine threatened to drive me the other way. To a house that was empty of her watchful father. Away from my disapproving family. Every time I thought of turning around I pushed my feet ahead faster.
It took two minutes for me to run home.
And now as I sat on the stool of my silent piano I'm mentally chiding myself for not going back. I should have. I wanted to. I shouldn't have left her alone and confused. I should have stuck to my original plan and spent the night guarding her house from the thick cover of trees surrounding it. Instead I had acted selfishly. I had pushed my luck and I'd lost.
"It hurts, doesn't it?" I was so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't heard her small feet pad down the stairs. I turned to meet her gaze. Grateful for the sympathy and understanding I found within it.
Scooting over, I made room for her on the bench which she sat on with a small smile.
"It is." I answered. My fingers tapping a few stray keys.
"I remember what it was like with Jasper." She mused while joining my notes with a few of her own. "I saw him all the time in my head. I knew him so well. The soft drawl of his voice. The masculine curl of his hair. The smoothness of his skin. Yet I couldn't do anything about it. I just had to wait and have faith that fate would lead him to me. Which it did. Thankfully." It's easy to forget, even for me, that Alice's gift can at times be a burden to her.
"How did you get through it, Alice? How did you see him, feel him, smell him all the time and keep from going mad?"
"It was different for me then it is for you. I knew that things would work out. I could see it, and I wrapped myself in the warmth of that knowledge. You're working blind. Your gift is useless with her. It's harder for you then it was for me."
"I can't do this forever." I warned. She stopped tapping at the ivories and looked me square in the face.
"You won't have to."
"Because Jasper plans on killing my love." I grumbled.
"No." She corrected, a sharp edge to her voice. "Because fate has other plans. I told you, you're destined to be together. Tread carefully and everything else will fall into place."
I tried to feel reassured but instead I felt even more alone and empty. Without saying another word I started her melody from the beginning. Alice slipping back up the stairs to her waiting husband.
-{}-
{Bella}
"Saturday. Port Angeles. I'm not taking no for an answer." Jessica rattled off as soon as I sat down in home room. I set my books on my desk and hesitantly sat down.
"Port Angeles?"
She looked at me like I had five heads. "Dress shopping, hello! Prom is coming up and if we don't get there soon all the good dresses will be gone." Prom. Right. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't escape it. So far I'd had three invitations. All of them from boys who were nice enough but not the man I wanted. After I rejected Mike he followed my advice and asked Jessica. Which was good because the last thing I needed was for her get all jealous and bitchy. I already had that problem with Lauren who hated the idea of Tyler spending any amount of time thinking about me. She'd be livid if she knew that he was my third rejection.
"So, who are you taking, Bella?" Angela asked innocently. Jessica and a few neighboring girls turned to hear my answer. I swallowed at the dryness in my throat.
"Nobody." I answered as confidently as I could. Angela and Jessica exchanged a glance.
"You don't have a date?" Angela's eyes were a mixture of sympathy and regret for bringing up the subject.
"I'm not going." I stated. "I don't like dances." The girls who were ease dropping decided that this was not the juicy gossip they were hoping for and turned back to their studies.
"But it's Prom." Jessica sputtered. "It's the biggest event of the school year." I didn't respond. "Fine. Don't go. But mark my words you'll regret it later."
"You'll still go dress shopping though, right? I really need your opinion." Angela whined. I nodded my head. It was the least I could do for my friends and to be quite honest I could use the distraction. After last night my insides were all twisted and jittery. I was sure I wasn't dreaming. The memories were too vivid. His arms around me holding me tight. His sweet words. His kiss. The electricity that went through my body was indescribable. In my mind I could feel my body melting into his. The sensation was overwhelming and at times I struggled to keep it contained.
-{}-
{Bella}
I walked into lunch determined not to spend the whole time staring at the Cullen table. What was the first thing I did when I walked in? That's right. I looked right at them but did not see Edward. I tried to smother the forlorn look of dismay before it was noticed but when I looked to my left the smile on Angela's face told the whole story. She nodded her head towards the front of the line. Standing ten or so students ahead of us was an unmistakable crop of unruly red hair. Without hesitation I felt myself relax. He was here. He was here and I could see him and I knew he loved me. It wasn't a dream. It couldn't have been.
"Wow," I heard Angela sigh. "You really do have it bad."
My jaw popped open. "Angela,"
She waved her hand dismissively. "It's cool." She assured me. "I know that you don't want anyone to know about it." Her and I took a lunch tray and began to absentmindedly fill it with food. "I can't really say that I blame you. People would totally freak if they knew."
"It's more complicated then that." I felt my stomach churn. I knew that this was wrong. That Edward and I were supposed to be a secret until his brother calmed down or whatever. But dammit it felt wonderful to know that someone else understood at least half the anguish I was going through.
We went to sit at our usual table only to find it full. During the last few weeks several of our friends had coupled up and the usual seats had been taken by their new partners. So instead we sat at an abandoned table in the back. One that happened to be right across from the now fully occupied Cullen table.
I could feel multiple eyes study me as I attempted to gracefully and casually walk over to my new table. I tried not to think about the fact that one of those pairs of eyes had marked me for dead. "His family doesn't like you, do they?"
I stared at her blankly. I thought Alice was the psychic. "uhh..." I couldn't seem to manage words. My eyes darted to the table across from us and were greeted by Edward's expectant gaze. He was listening.
Angela read the look on my face and immediately changed the subject.
-{}-
{Bella}
As soon as I saw him in biology I broke into a huge blush. Being late to finish lunch I was the last student to arrive to class. Paranoia flooded my body as I walked to my chair. In my mind they all knew. If Angela had figured it out then what was to stop an of them? They knew about me and Edward. They knew why we had to be secretive. Their eyes were following me. Waiting for me to screw up. To be totally honest I wasn't sure I could handle spending an hour with him in such close proximity without giving anything away. It didn't help that he was watching me out of his peripheral vision the whole time I walked. Or that when I sat down he deliberately took in a long slow whiff of my scent.
I tried to keep my breathing steady and my heart beat even. I could tell by the smile tugging on the corners of his mouth that I was failing.
Thankfully, it was a movie day. Some stupid lesson on gene mutation that I'd already done in Phoenix. The lights went dim and I pulled out my notebook under the pretense that I was taking notes. Which I was, but it wasn't about the lesson. Instead I scrawled out a sloppy note and pushed the notebook towards Edward. From what I'd read of Vampires I knew that they had enhanced senses so I hoped he would be able to read it in the dark. He looked sideways at me and elegantly penned a reply.
I squinted my eyes in the dark and read his old fashioned script. I had written to him that I knew he was at my house last night. His reply was 'Are you angry?'
'No.' I wrote back. 'I enjoyed it.'
I saw him smile a crooked smile at my words before he wrote. 'So did I.'
'You told me you loved me.' I wrote with a hopeful smile.
To my dismay he frowned slightly. 'You were awake for that?'
'Barely.' I scribbled. Then in a flicker of sadness, 'did you mean it?'
He furrowed his brow and his smile disappeared. 'Of course. I just hoped to tell you in a different way. I have so much to tell you.'
'You were listening to Angela and I.'
'Yes. She knows?'
'Yes. Are you mad?' It was my turn to ask.
He seemed to think about his response for a minute before penning a reply. 'It makes things complicated.'
'I know. But it feels good to have someone who understands. Like you have with Alic...' Edward dove for the notebook before Mr. Banner could snatch it off the table but his forced human speed was just too slow. My bottom lip was instantly in my mouth and even with a few feet between us I could feel Edward go stiff. The whole class turned to watch Mr. Banner flip through my notebook and shake his head. I prayed that he wouldn't read it out loud. "I expected better from both of you. I'll see you both after school to make up this class." Edward nodded silently. I continued to chew on my lip. The rest of the class was spent with my eyes glued forward.