AN I: I own nothing related to Charmed, this is unbeta'd so forgive the mistakes which I am sure are there. Enjoy and please review.
In and out. In and out
Chris was trying to regulate his breathing, in through his nose, out through his mouth. If he could focus on simple commands then he could continue to ignore the fact that his family were gathered together, staring at him, waiting to dissect him like a helpless bug nailed to the wall. He could feel the weight of their stares pushing on him. Their anger and mistrust were perceived as physical sensations sitting cold in his stomach and prickling up his spine.
And that wasn't even the worst of his problems
Chris's magic was a part of him, much the way his hair curled at the nape of his neck or the way his heart sped up at a fight. It was coded into him, same as the color of his eyes or his long distance lung capacity. And he had essentially ripped it out, forcibly throwing it away from his own body to save the sisters; to have it gone was such a debilitating sensation.
He felt heavy, like part of a puzzle, only he was jagged and frayed, no longer fitting into the perfect place. His lungs hurt; every breath shaky and stunted. His limbs were vibrating with the strain of remaining upright. He had only been through this twice before; each time it was a willing sacrifice, a decision made in a split second, during a life or death situation.
And each time it sucked.
This time though, he had the added benefit of recovering during an interrogation hosted by the Charmed Ones, not my family he reminded himself. He could hear mutterings as they flipped through the book and earmarked spells and ingredients needed for seeking the truth. They had returned to the book when their first series of questions remained unanswered. Had Chris not given up his magic for a while, he could have thrown off or fooled a truth spell. Now, he wasn't too sure. One thing he did know was that knowing the truth would only hurt the sisters, and it wouldn't do anybody any good.
His vision wavered and Chris could feel his eyes rolling back into his head, as his body instinctively tried to pass out, attempting to save itself from the fight ahead.
Thwack.
Chris jumped, feeling something slam into him.
"Hey," he yelled indignantly. "Did you just throw a shoe at me? Seriously."
Piper stood glaring at him, hands on her hips, and body out of alignment. The mate to the shoe which had just sailed through the air launched at Chris's head was on Piper's foot, the other now bare.
"You don't get to go back to sleep, mister! We still have questions for you."
"But, but" sputtered Chris. "The crystals…"
"Oh, we modified it, so we can put things in but nothing out."
"Like food," put in Phoebe.
"Or shoes," muttered Chris.
"Piper's shoe," called Paige, her hand outstretched to receive the offending item. "What," asked Paige at Piper's raised eye brow. "Honey one shoe isn't a good look for you, and knowing this one, he could turn your sling back into a weapon. Her hair bounced with the movement of her gestures. "You can thank me later."
"Look," began Chris, "this doesn't change anything. I still can't tell you about the future, which means I can't answer your questions. If I do, it could mess up the future worse than it already is." His voice trailed off as his chest heaved to suck in another breath. "I won't risk all that I'm fighting for, to satisfy your indulgent curiosity." At that he looked at Paige, betrayal shining in his eyes, "You can thank me for that later."
"Chris, the safety of this family, of our son, does not make our questions simply a curiosity." Leo spoke this time. Chris had almost forgotten he was in the room, being overshadowed by the sisters' palpable anger. Leo's voice had a sickening saccharine quality to it, attempting to pacify, but it only made Chris nauseous. "This family's safety comes before anything else," Leo continued, pacing in full lecture mode.
He tried not to let it hurt, that he was mistrusted and hated, even feared. Like everyone is his world felt about Wyatt. We're not so different, you and I, little brother, Wyatt's voice floated through his mind, bringing with it agonizing whispers, seeds of doubt and shame. No Wyatt, thought Chris, I am nothing like you. But his shields were in tatters, his heart and soul raw and unprotected; a lone nerve ending, screaming under an unfettered unforgiving assault.
"That's why I'm here," burst out Chris, "for this family's safety." He looked at the sisters, "I saved you didn't I, and I've told you what I can. Why isn't that enough?"
We don't need your help," sneered Piper. "You have brought nothing but lies and danger. You say you're here to save Wyatt, but all you've done is bring more death and destruction upon this doorstep." Piper glared at him, anger and fear for her son fueling her words, like kerosene on top of an already raging flame. "You will give me my answers, and then you will get out, I never want to see you again!"
Chris felt her words, each one a stab against his battered and bruised heart. He barely heard Phoebe's protest, reminding the sisters that he had saved them and he deserved to be heard. All he could hear was Piper, deadly calm, telling him to get out.
"I don't care Phoebe, if my son needs saving then we will do it."
"I'll just leave, if you'll let me out of here, I'll never bother you again." Chris gestured at the crystals, feeling oddly disconnected from the situation. Pain was beating inside of him, trying to get a hold. He bit his lips, determined not to fall apart in from of them. Somewhere at the back of his mind, he knew that if he left things the way they were now, he'd never be born. At least then he could make good on his promise never to bother them again, thought Chris darkly.
"Who are you," asked Paige.
"Future consequences," answered Chris in a tired voice.
"What is the true intent of your mission here," asked Leo.
"To save Wyatt," answered Chris dully.
"Why is it your job to save Wyatt" asked Phoebe.
"Future consequences," answered Chris.
"Why are you specifically here" asked Piper
"Future conseq…."
Piper's enraged yell broke off Chris's expected reply.
"What do you want from me," he screamed. "I've bled for you, I've almost died for you, and I'd do it again if need be. Why isn't that enough?"
His voice broke, and all of a suddenly it was too much. Emotions that had been dormant swirled to the top, cascading out of Chris in a cathartic explosion, taking Leo and the sisters down with the force of their intensity; and like a sapling in the face of gale winds, Chris broke; splintered from the inside.
Magic shoved deep, in stores he didn't even know he had, gurgled to life, kicking and screaming as Chris sobbed curled up on the floor. His magic couldn't be contained in the crystal cage, and it blew around the room. The sister's hair flew around their faces, clothing whipping tight around their tensed bodies. Around them they looked in amazement as the windows shattered, furniture slammed up and down, and everything on the shelves kept leaping off to circle around the room on a frantic flight above Chris's bent head.
Phoebe screamed in response to Chris's unfettered emotions, her empathy finally gaining access behind Chris's shields. Wrapping her hands around her head, she began moaning and shaking under the full force of his pain and anguish.
"Stop," yelled Paige. "You're hurting her." She rushed to Phoebe and tried to help her up.
"Help," screamed Piper as she crawled on all fours towards the circle, her eyes meeting Leo's, across the attic. Piper managed to get close, her nose almost touching his hair, if not for the magical barrier of the crystals. The low keening sound emanating from Chris pricked at her heart. He really is just a boy, she thought. Shoving those thoughts deep, she swallowed, but so is Wyatt and he is my boy, my priority. Not someone else's lost boy.
"Chris," she tried getting as clos e to him as she could. No response and the torrential storm around the room was growing.
"He has to stop, yelled Leo, trying to make himself be heard above the noise. "He was already too wiped out, using this amount of power so soon after could kill him. We'll never learn the truth if that happens." Piper tried again.
"Chris," she yelled. "Christopher," she barked. His thin shoulders jerked against the worn fabric of his shirt at the use of his full name
"Stop it Christopher Perry, right now!" Piper commanded, putting as much reprimand in her voice as she could, literally pressed to the floor under Chris's emotional onslot.
The crystals exploded, sparkling dust raining down onto Piper and Chris, like a warm spring shower. Nothing separated Chris from the sisters and Leo, nothing but the burned out hollow shell of white lighter, who was looking more and more like a boy and less and less like an eternal angel. Piper wondered how old he had been when he died.
His back was quivering under his shirt, and his eyes were hidden behind dark sweaty bangs. Paige and Phoebe crawled until they were shoulder to shoulder with Piper, all hunched around Chris. Phoebe looked pale and shaky, her eyes bright with shared pain. She laid a tremulous hand against Chris's back, refusing to back down, when her simple touch elicited a guttural cry, ripped from Chris's throat.
"We didn't mean to hurt you Chris; we know you are just trying to help." At this she looked pointedly at her sisters, using the shadows under her eyes and hollowed out cheekbones to drive her point home. "But we've come to a point where we need answers, Chris. You don't have to tell us everything, but we need more than what you've given. We just do, Chris." Phoebe kept her voice light and even, struggling to figure out how one body could hold so much pain and still walk around upright.
"No compromises," spoke Piper tersely. "he gives us the truth or I vanquish him. I'm not letting a threat to Wyatt go unanswered."
Phoebe looked at Piper, flanked by Paige. "well, you don't get everything you want, do you."
Chris was feeling detached again, floating while he felt sorry for the broken boy in front of him. Pathetically grateful for Phoebe's warm hand against his back, he struggled to stay conscious, but the whiplash of power fueled by the rock bottom crashing of his emotional shields continued to ping pong around inside of him; making him dizzy. He was so spent, that his vision kept wavering, bringing with it flashes of his future between the sisters now. Like a strobe light the images interchanged until Chris wasn't sure where he was, only that the place was familiar and the presences reassuring.
Turning his head, Chris focused on Piper. This is it, he thought, I'm dying. He could feel his heart beating sluggishly and erratically against his chest, his breaths were uneven and staggered. No one should use that much power, he thought, guess I really am burning out.
"Sorry, mom," he wheezed before he felt the world go dark.
AN II: It would make my day if you review!