Victorian Nonsense
Bloody hell, does anyone understand how hard it is to type up a story and listen to annoying people tut and wheeze and talk quietly? Chapter four =P I don't own any of the characters.
Mrs Lovett tried to talk to Sweeney, but he just mumbled things like "bloody mad woman" and "stupid bitch" which only upset her more. She knew she had to be strong so she kept it inside.
Looking through the money she had earned in the day she realised she didn't earn enough probably because of that new Pie King across the street. There were hardly any customers that day and she didn't have enough to give The Hitcher his slice of the earnings.
The door swung open and what looked like a transvestite walked in holding a cigarette holder and wore oversized sunglasses which were a total anachronism in zis story.
Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hello."
It approached the front counter; Mrs Lovett had an eyebrow raised (then Helena realised that Tim directed her not to move her hyperactive eyebrows so it went back to normal).
"My name is Turpinorrrr" said the tight-panted feminine man-man. "I was looking for a barber to shave my stub- err... legs and then I can practice my nasally seduction on whimsical men and men-ladies"
"I don't think 'e shaves legs" said Mrs Lovett, wary of the fact that her beloved sexy Sweeney-pie might be seduced away by an unusually fabulous looking Man-thing of high class.
"No price is high enough for me; I am a skilled widowist needing lovesqueezins!" Its lip trembled.
"Do we look like a bloody brothel?!" Mrs Lovett said angrily, and then something in her mind clicked.
"Hmm, I could get a lot of money this way, and I need lovesqueezins too" she thought concocting a Sweenettish and slightly à la Wings of the Dove plan in her mind.
"I'm sorry, I suppooooooose that I'll have to go to another barber-"
"No, we do perform those services sir…err…madam…"
"Gooooood, then I'll check back laterz. Aaaaaaaaaadios!" Then it hopped out the shop with a giggle.
What a random chapter. R&R or the Hitcher will stab ya in the gums with a screwdriver, he knows what he's doing!