Darkmoon: Ugh. I'm not happy at all with the way this turned out. The only consolation I have is the fact that I was able to work a 2003 anime exclusive scene into this. You'll know the scene when you see it. I am also sneaking in some Parental!HavocxOC into the story. There will be several similar types of relationships, but no pairings except cannon and OcxOc. (Yes, there will be more Ocs, but not enough to completely change the story.) I had writers block who knows how many times while writing this. To overcome it, I started on a new fanfic, which will hopefully have the first chapter up in a few days. To top that off, I've been depressed over Riku's new haircut in Kingdom Hearts 3D. Despite all this, I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, 4-koma theater, any of the characters involved, or a Nintendo 3DS. (I want one so bad right now…)

~~NMT~~

The weather outside was pleasant and sunny as we left the train station- which was also the exact opposite of how I currently felt. I swear, this world was making fun of me.

Jean walked a few paces behind Roy, chatting idly with him. I began to eavesdrop on their conversation. "Hey, congrats on taking out the Freezer, Chief. I heard about what happened." So they were talking about this "Freezer" guy again.

Roy sighed, not glancing once at the blond man. "It wasn't me who took him out. It was the Fuhrer, but he's been giving me credit for the job, even though I was elsewhere in the city at the time, cleaning up the Freezer's mess."

Heymans' eyes widened slightly. "Really? But, why would the Fuhrer tell you to take credit for his actions?"

As I started wondering who this "Fuhrer" guy was, Roy shrugged. "Who knows? But I'll dutifully obey my orders; At least until I become Fuhrer and every one of them is obeying me."

The woman, who I had found out earlier was named Riza, spoke. "You should be more discreet about those declarations, Sir. Some would call them treason."

Jean smirked. "You know, Chief, she's right. It's a presumptuous thing to say. You got a death wish, or something?"

Roy stopped, and the rest of us glanced at each other. That's when I realized I had seen this something like this before glancing over my sister's shoulder. Come on! Rae showed you and Josh this! You may not like it, but you should know this!

The colonel spoke slowly. "That's a stupid question, Havoc. I say it because its true, and when I'm Fuhrer, there will be changes."

That's right! Rae and Josh imitate this all the time! That means… the next thing he's going to say is-

"That day, all female officers will be required to wear… TINY MINISKIRTS!"

Yep. That's what it had been. Come to think of it, I had tried to use what Roy said in that scene to make my mom force Rae to stop watching the show… and failed.

Riza sighed in exasperation.

Heymans began drooling.

Jean got a bloody nose, his new cigarette fell out of his mouth (I had no idea when he decided to light another) and glomped onto Roy's leg. "You're a miracle, Mustang! I'll follow you for the rest of my life!"

Roy nodded. "Yes!"

I glanced up at Riza, who shook her head and just walked past the three stooges. Yeah… that was the perfect name for these guys. Unless all the men here were this stupid, then I'd have to come up with a different name for them.

I followed Riza to the car, not waiting for the three stooges to realize we had moved on.

~~NMT~~

I stared up at the gray prison-like building from the inside of the car. "What the heck is this place?"

"Eastern Headquarters," Roy answered. He turned to face me, a serious look in his eye. "Not just anyone is allowed into military headquarters, so if anyone asks, you're Havoc's niece."

"What? Why me?" Jean protested.

Heymans smirked. I had all but forgotten him until that point. "What, you think you can't handle being an uncle?"

"Don't I get a say in this?" I asked. "Why can't Miss Riza be my Aunt or something?"

Roy and Riza exchanged a look, and the latter knelt to meet me at eye level. "I'm an only child, and the General in command here is my grandfather."

"Oh." That made sense. This General guy would definitely know something was up if Riza showed up with a niece.

Jean cleared his throat. "So are we going in?"

Roy nodded. "Yes, we are."

As I got out of the car, Jean leaned in close to me and hissed "Don't screw up, Katie."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure thing, Uncle Jean." Heh. That rhymed.

I walked next to my "uncle" as we entered the building. A man standing guard at the gate lifted an eyebrow when he saw me. "Who's this?"

Roy was the one to answer, glancing at me. "Her? She's Second Lieutenant Havoc's niece. She came out to East City to visit, so Havoc's keeping an eye on her."

The guard smirked. "Visiting East City? There's almost nothing out here."

"Tell me about it," Heymans muttered under his breath.

This conversation was repeated a few times when we walked through the halls inside the building. For the most part, however, people ignored me. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, I couldn't decide. Probably a little of both.

Roy stopped us in front of one of the many doors. "This is where I work," he explained to me.

I wasn't sure how he could tell it was his door. There was nothing to distinguish it from any of the others we had passed. Of course, he'd been working here for… well, I didn't know how long, but it was probably a long time. Maybe he had some special way of knowing it was his door.

When we entered the room, I noticed a gray-haired man sitting in a chair against the wall, and a younger man with black hair and glasses tinkering with a busted-looking radio on one of the desks. As we came in, the both whipped their heads around and, upon seeing Roy, stood up and saluted. "Colonel Mustang! Welcome back sir," said the younger man.

The gray haired man noticed me. "Who's this?"

"I'm Havoc's-"

"She's a girl Havoc and Breda found on the street," Roy said, cutting me off. "She claims to come from America."

I narrowed my eyes. Whatever had happened to "if anyone asks?"

The gray haired man raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Very funny, sir. You know just as well as I do that America doesn't exist."

"I know that, but according to her, it does, and she says that all she wants is to get home." Roy narrowed his eyes at me. "And she certainly doesn't seem like the type of person who'd spend her time reading a book."

Glasses-guy scratched his temple. "I think I've read a book like this once," he said. "In it, a character from another book showed up in the real world, and they had to go find a Philosophers' Stone in order to get back into their story."

"A what-stone?" I asked.

"A Philosophers' Stone," said Roy.

"Do you know where one is?" These military guys seemed pretty important. If they could tell me where to find a stone…

"They're thought to be nothing more than a myth."

I opened my mouth, furious retort ready.

"However," he continued. "One of my subordinates is already searching for it. Perhaps he'll let you use it as well."

Now I was curious. "Who is he?"

"The Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric."

Oh, crap!

~~NMT~~

I'm so sorry that this chapter took so long! Life got in the way, and my mom even threatened to kick me out of the house once. She even started packing my things up. Anyways, I'm sure you saw the tiny miniskirt scene was put in there. It may have been from the 2003 series, but you've gotta admit it's hilarious!

Here's the Omake!

~~OMAKE: Mr. Freeze~~

"BRADLEY!"

McDougal rushed at the country's Fuhrer, frozen blood spear in hand. Bradley, however, pulled out his sword and slashed multiple times, too quickly for the eye to see. Half a second passed, and…

… McDougal's clothes all fell apart.

"Police!" Fuhrer Bradley screamed. "There's a pervert!"

"Just kill me now!" yelled a thoroughly humiliated McDougal.

-おわり-

Special thanks to

Amethyst2241

Alice Nyte

Nikkome Konno

Nicjole

And

Alicia Elric

For reviewing the last chapter!