Alliance in doubt
At Excalibur HQ, all hands were on deck to restore power to the portal so Kilstone could extract Albert and Monogram. While it was unfortunate that Earthguard had forced Kilstone's hand when it tried to seize control, he was also charged with the defence of Excalibur while Albert was away. In Kilstone's mind, he was sure Albert would've done the same had their positions been reversed, although this did not prevent Carl from flying into a rage once he found out that his boss was stranded in potentially hostile territory.
"Had your people held back and not brought Phineas and his friends here, our bosses would be back by now, but no, apparently children from the future warrants an abduction in broad daylight!" Carl-1 ranted.
"Need I remind you that it was one of your charges that built the damn thing to begin with. If you had simply let us monitor Phineas more closely, Earthguard would never have been an issue!" Kilstone countered.
"Oh, that's rich! According to Agent P's report, the only reason Phineas built Earthguard in the first place was because he didn't trust you people to protect us from Bill! Can't say I blame him, given your track record!" Carl-1 retorted.
"Bill caught us completely by surprise. He was able to strike all points of the globe simultaneously, with an army ten times the size of our strongest military, powered by a weaponised Murphy's Law, and we still managed to wrench the Earth from his grasp" Kilstone said.
"You mean Milo and his friends wrenched the Earth from Bill's grasp. Why is it the organisation that is supposed to protect the planet from threats like Bill is outsourcing their world-saving duties to children?" Carl-1 taunted.
"At least all my agents have opposable thumbs!" Kilstone jibed.
"Might want to keep it down. Wouldn't want the kindergardeners to hear the grown-ups fighting!" Carl-1 responded.
"GET OUT!" Kilstone demanded. At this point, Brick and Savannah walked in on the pair.
"Much as I hate to break up this lover's quarrel, Major Smith is waiting on the line for you, Kilstone" Brick briefed. Through the back-up power system, Excalibur was able to restore power to essential systems such as communications and sensors, but the system could not handle the power requirements the portal needed, otherwise they would've tied the portal to the back-ups and gotten Albert and Monogram out that way.
"This is not over" Kilstone concluded and left the room. He went into Albert's office and answered the call from Major Smith. As he always did, Major Smith appeared on-screen with his image blurred and blackened, as to obscure his true identity.
"Care to explain to me why HQ suddenly powered down, and why I am speaking to you instead of Albert?" Smith inquired. Even his voice sounded like someone giving testimony in court anonymously, with the voice sounding fake, but not as monotone.
"It's a long story, sir" Kilstone answered.
"Start from the beginning" Major Smith ordered.
In the Second Dimension, things weren't much better. Candace, who had agreed to help these strangers with the promise of military intervention to help topple Doofenshmirtz, has now just learned that said help would not be coming, Monogram was still getting to grips with the revelation that the man he had accompanied into hostile territory wasn't entirely who he said he was and Albert was faced with the frightening possibility that something may have happened to Excalibur while he was gone.
"What do you mean, we're on our own?" Monogram-1 inquired.
"I mean, I can't get a hold of anyone on the other side. Not Kilstone, not Brick and Savannah, not even Major Smith" Albert replied.
"Could something have happened on the other side?" Candace-2 probed.
"It's possible. The portal was tied into the main power system. If that went down for whatever reason, it would explain quite a bit. If that's the case, it may be some time before we hear from anyone at HQ again" Albert explained.
"What do we do now?" Monogram-1 asked.
"We need to get back to resistance HQ and formulate a new plan. Now that our help's not coming, we need all the assets we can scrounge together" Candace-2 suggested.
"That's a good place to begin. Which way?" Albert agreed.
"Not so fast, we have a bigger issue to deal with, 'Lunaro'. Did that wand really once belong to you? What was the real reason you came to this dimension?" Monogram-1 interrogated.
"Really? You think now's the best time to get into this?" Albert responded.
"I just want to make sure we're all here for the same reason" Monogram-1 affirmed.
"As much as I'd like to hear answers to these questions, I don't think now's the best time and place to have this conversation. Once we're back at HQ, we can have this talk" Candace-2 dismissed.
"Agreed. Once we're somewhere safe, I'll address any and all concerns you have about me and this mission" Albert assured.
"Fine, but this isn't over" Monogram-1 relented. Candace went to inspect the back door, which she left un-boarded in case they needed to make a quick get-away. After checking that the coast was clear, she ushered Albert and Monogram outwards and the three made their way to the nearest sewer grate. Going down this route wasn't glamourous, but it limited the time they spent out in the open, which was a bonus. Once underground, all seemed well enough, so Albert broke the ice.
"You know, it's a shame Milo isn't here. He could navigate these sewers with his eyes closed, even if this isn't his Danville" Albert said, hoping to break the tension that plagued the group since they got out of their hiding spot.
"I've never even heard of this kid. Is he what you would call 'resistance material'?" Candace-2 asked.
"Not particularly, but he is an expert at getting out of tight situations" Albert answered.
"Careful. We don't even know if this Danville has a Milo Murphy in it" Monogram-1 cautioned.
"Good point. You ever hear of Murphy's Law?" Albert inquired.
"Murphy's what now?" Candace-2 responded.
"Forget I said anything, then" Albert replied. After some time, they made it back to resistance HQ. Vanessa, Phineas and the Firestorm Girls, as well as Buford and Baljeet, were waiting for them.
"What kept you?" Vanessa-2 probed.
"We've encountered some problems" Candace-2 briefed.
At Excalibur HQ, Kilstone had just finished telling Major Smith the story of Earthguard, the inter-dimensional distress call they received, Albert and Monogram's quest to find Bill's wand and their current situation. Major Smith, understandably, was not pleased.
"So, let me see if I understand you correctly. A guardian defence program, from the future, came back in time and attacked the facility, necessitating a total shutdown of the base, trapping Albert and Monogram in a dimension where a fragment of Bill is supposedly taking refuge" Smith summarised.
"That's right, sir" Kilstone acknowledged.
"Just one small thing I don't understand, WHY AM I ONLY HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW?!" Major Smith demanded. This made Kilstone recoil in terror, if only slightly.
"In regards to Earthguard, it wasn't Bill-related so we were confident we could handle it ourselves. As for the wand, well, Albert wanted visual confirmation of the wand's presence before notifying you" Kilstone explained. Major Smith sighed in frustration.
"What is it we always say when it comes to even the slightest hint of Bill activity?" Smith asked.
"Never leave anything to chance, I know. The situation may require us to deploy our garrison and, as you know sir, that requires your authorisation" Kilstone answered.
"I am going to have a serious talk with Albert about keeping me in the loop when he and Monogram get back, and they will because re-activating that portal is now your top priority. Any other concerns at this point are secondary. Is that clear?" Smith ordered.
"Yes, sir. I'll make sure both men arrive intact" Kilstone said.
"Make my displeasure at this situation known to Albert when they get back and instruct him to call me the second he does" Smith outlined and closed the call. Carl, who had been listening in, was calmed at the prospect of Excalibur's highest power giving Monogram's retrieval their utmost urgency.
"And I thought my boss was demanding" Carl-1 remarked.
"You have no idea" Kilstone replied.
At resistance HQ, Monogram had just finished recounting the story of their mission to Baljeet and the others. Safe to say, they took to certain aspects of his story with a little scepticism.
"Like my counterpart, I too, have doubts about why you came here in the first place" Monogram-2 stated.
"Yes, I'm not surprised. News of my dark past tends to stir that emotion in people. Rest assured, that is not who I am now, hence the name change" Albert replied.
"And we're supposed to take your word for that? Billenshmirtz told us that wand used to belong to you" Monogram-1 observed.
"It did. I was desperate. Mewni was in a rough place, natural disasters, plagues, you name it. Just when it seemed like I couldn't lead my people to salvation, Bill came to me in a dream and offered me a lifeline" Albert explained.
"He gave you the wand" Candace-2 said.
"Yes, and a spellbook. I used both to restore Mewni to its former glory. Then, they started talking to me. I was weak and could not resist their corruption for long. So, I turned instruments of healing into weapons of war, shedding my identity as Lunaro the healer and forged a new one, Prince Jack" Albert admitted.
"How did it end, your campaign, was there a winner in this war?" Candace-2 inquired.
"I was betrayed from within. My closest advisors stole the book and relocated it to Earth, the Earth Monogram and I came from and left it under the guard of the natives for a thousand years. When Bill found out, he taunted me and 'sentenced' me to a thousand years as his plaything in his realm. It was there he told me the wand fled of its own accord" Albert concluded.
"That must have been difficult. I would not wish that on my worst enemy" Baljeet-2 said sympathetically.
"So, the wand fled here and was found a thousand years later by our Doofenshmirtz, and now, its former owner comes to our aid, seeking to, what, destroy it?" Buford-2 inquired.
"Impossible. Wands can only be destroyed by their wielders. We can contain it, as we did with Bill's petrified body" Albert clarified.
"If we re-establish contact with your Institute" Monogram-1 added.
"So, no help is coming?" Phineas-2 asked, with a hint of despair.
"Not necessarily. I've been thinking on the way here. Maybe we can ask someone else to help, people that have more experience with this sort of thing" Albert responded.
"We still have the portal device from when your dimension Phineas and Ferb were here. With a few modifications, we can use it to contact these people you mention" Baljeet-2 briefed.
"That's the other thing, they don't exactly like me very much" Albert stated.
"Why am I not surprised?" Monogram-1 interjected.
"Regardless, it is our only chance" Baljeet-2 countered.
"Don't worry, I can handle the Magic High Commission" Albert assured. This caused Baljeet to chuckle and snort in disbelief.
"I am sorry, who?" Baljeet-2 asked.
"That's what they're called. A group of beings whose responsibility it is to ensure magic doesn't fall into the wrong hands and the preservation of the Mewman kingdom" Albert explained.
"Bang up job they've done on the first bit" Vanessa-2 said with a hint of sass.
"You should say that to Hekapoo. I'd love to see her reaction" Albert suggested.
"OK, say for one second that I believe this 'Mewni' place and this 'High Commission' actually exists. What makes you think they will help us?" Baljeet-2 queried.
"They will, trust me. They want Bill gone just as much as we all do" Albert answered.
"It's a plan, at least" Phineas-2 said. Candace put her head in her hands out of disbelief.
"I can't believe it's come to this, asking fairy tale creatures for help" Candace-2 sighed.
"After everything you've seen here, is this really the most unbelievable thing ever?" Vanessa-2 asked.
"Good point" Candace-2 replied.
"Aren't we forgetting something? We were also discussing whether or not we can trust Albert, or Lunaro, or whoever you are" Monogram-1 reminded the group.
"I've been thinking about that since we left the castle and I honestly don't see a tyrannical former prince seeking to reclaim the object of his power. I see someone who came to our aid when we asked it of him and has been with us since the beginning. Whoever you were, whatever life you lived before, it's not who you are now" Candace-2 decided.
"Besides, who are we to judge? We all have skeletons in our closet. That doesn't mean we should let them define who we are in the present" Buford-2 added.
"I agree. If we start doubting ourselves, then Doofenshmirtz has already won" Phineas-2 reasoned.
"Albert didn't kill my mother, Billenshmirtz did. If he says we can contain the wand, who am I to doubt him? He knows that wand more than any of us do" Vanessa-2 argued. Monogram was surprised by the votes of confidence in someone they had only just met.
"Well, the others seem to trust you and I suppose Billenshmirtz is the real enemy here. But you said yourself that wand can tempt the weak-minded" Monogram-1 conceded.
"I swear to you I want nothing more to do with that thing ever again. All I want now is to put it somewhere it can't do any more harm" Albert promised.
"Good, that's settled. Now can we please get on with what we were doing?" Baljeet-2 pressed.
"Yes, we should. The portal should contact Mewni if we get the frequency right. Thankfully, I still remember it the last time we dealt with them" Albert responded. After being shown the portal, he fiddled around with some settings. Luckily, this portal was almost identical to the one back at HQ and had the same settings. Once he set it to the right frequency, the portal's communication settings were switched on.
"Mirror, mirror, calling Queen Moon. Are you there?" Albert called into the mike. Static, followed by a recorded message answered.
"Welcome to ReflectaCorp mirror customer service. We regret to inform you that the caller, Queen Moon, is unable to come to the mirror right now. Please hold and a customer service representative will be in touch as soon as possible" the message said and elevator music played in the background. Albert and Monogram were annoyed at this development, whereas Buford could not stop laughing.
"Even the magic mirrors put you on hold! Ha, ha, ha!" Buford-2 chuckled.
"Let me try something else. Mirror, mirror, calling the Queen of Mewni" Albert tried again.
In the monster temple, Queen Eclipsa was putting her baby daughter Meteora down for the night. She was telling her about the time that Butterfly Castle was attacked by the king of nightmares as a bed-time story.
"And so, the valiant heroes from two different worlds destroyed the nightmare king's cursed book, banishing him back to the land of the vanquished, his willing pawn was sealed away, and everybody lived happily ever after. The end" Eclipsa recited. With the story's conclusion, Meteora was finally asleep. Eclipsa wished her sweet dreams and made to get herself ready to turn in. When she faced her dressing room mirror, she found it showing static, as if someone was trying to call the castle. Her transition team was still ironing out the kinks with this new model, but after flagging the issue, it did not take them long to fix it and answer the mystery call. She recognised one of the faces staring back at her through the mirror as the captain of that institute Star told her about, and more recently, one of the beings from Earth who helped defend Butterfly Castle from Bill-Toffee, but the others were unfamiliar to her.
"Can I assist you, or is this a social call?" Eclipsa inquired.
"You actually got through to somebody? Guess Mewni really does exist" Baljeet-2 observed.
"I assure you, we're quite real. Now what is the purpose of this call?" Eclipsa half asked, half demanded.
"I need you to get a message to the High Commission, Your Highness. Tell them we've found Bill's wand" Albert requested. Eclipsa paused in thought for a moment.
"Are you sure it's the genuine article?" Eclipsa probed.
"I've seen it. That wand was definitely the same one that was used by….Lunaro, by me in Mewni's past" Albert answered. Eclipsa could not believe what she was hearing. She had heard from her mother, Solaria, about Lunaro and his campaign against monster-kind. Solaria was an admirer of Lunaro and modelled many of her spells after his exploits. Then she remembered that for the longest time, she also thought Bill Cipher was just a fairy tale and was also proven wrong on that front.
"I see, well I can pass along the message for you, but I cannot guarantee that they'll come running. You see, the High Commission isn't too fond of me, either" Eclipsa informed.
"If it'll help twist their arms, could you please also tell them that I am collecting on an old debt. My institute helped defend Butterfly Castle, so in a sense, they owe me" Albert added.
"I have one stipulation. I want to come, too. This wand represents a potential threat to my kingdom and, as Queen, it is my duty to ensure it is dealt with and the safety and welfare of my people is looked after" Eclipsa bargained.
"You have to admire her sense of duty" Candace-2 praised.
"Agreed. Please pass along the message" Albert accepted her terms.
"I'll call back when I've spoken to them" Eclipsa stated and the call was terminated. Some time later, a portal made of fire opened up in the middle of HQ, and out popped Hekapoo, Rhombulus, Omnitraxus and Eclipsa.
"I'm guessing they didn't need much convincing" Albert remarked. Hekapoo approached him with bitter venom in her eyes.
"After this, we're even" Hekapoo seethed.
"What she said!" Rhombulus added.
"Wow, they really don't like you" Monogram-1 observed.
"It's complicated" Albert replied.
Author's note: Alright, because I'm done stressing about including the Magic High Commission despite not knowing their final fate come the end of the show, I've decided to set this fic in between Seasons 3 and 4. Also, since I know the absolute abundance of SVTFOE OCs there are, I would like to assure readers that if there are any designs named Lunaro and Sunflare, that the similarities are entirely coincidental. I don't plagiarise, I'm not Filip Miucin. The usual disclaimers, I own nothing, Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE and Disney owns both. Enjoy.