Back at the Institute……….Jean is having her wedding.
Roses littered the floor, the sun beams shone down on the ceremony, professor X was there, pouting; he didn't want to be. Next to him, Magneto, Professor X couldn't think who to invite, neither could anyone else, Kurt was doing the vicary stuff had bought along colossus, and colossus bought along Pyro and then the brotherhood came along.
The first bench was principally occupied by pepper mills. Pietro zoomed over.
"Hey, whats with the pepper?" He asked.
The Professor shrugged.
"Why are there monkeys in the ceremony?" Pietro asked, pointing at the chimps and apes in the audience.
The Professor shrugged.
"Okay, why are none of the X-men here?" He asked.
The Professor shrugged again.
"I'm here dude" Evan said.
"And so am I" Kurt added.
"Okay settle now, settle!" Kurt shouted, two pepper mills stood next to kurt both wearing bow ties.
The wedding march started, Jean walked slowly down the aisle arm linked with an ape, wearing a fake moustache and pants.
"Jean, where's your father?" Magneto asked.
"This is my father, dummy" Jean reached the end.
"Friends, family……..various dinner table appliances……and monkeys, we are gathered here today to celebrate…" Kurt started. A voice came from the back of the room.
"WHAT! Sold out, what do you mean sold out? I'll fire more people, I've already fired them all? Oh….I'm fired? Don't hang up on me, don't hang up o…THAT'S WHAT I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO!" Rogue shouted down the phone.
"Calm down, sit down, shall I go shoot her?" Gambit asked.
"That's your answer for everything……yes shoot her" Rogue said, Gambit left.
"Sorry" Rogue shouted to Jean.
"Nightshade, do you take Jean to be your lawfully wedded wife in sickness and in health?"
The pepper stood there, not moving.
"I do" The professor whispered in a funny voice.
"Jean do take nightshade to be your lawfully wedded husband in sickness and in health?"
"I……line?" Jean asked getting embarassed.
"DO!" Everybody shouted.
"I now pronounce you pepper mill and wife" Kurt shouted.
"You may……kiss the bride…." Kurt struggled the words out.
The pepper mill stood there, not moving….still.
Then the professor got up and picked up the pepper mill, and gave it to Jean, she quickly kissed it.
The professor sat back down.
The newly married couple left the cermony, Jean tripped over the few steps by the door.
"My bad" She got up.
"Jean!" Scott shouted, he was wearing a blue stripey top, onions around his neck, and beret, a little curly moustache, and was carrying a pet poodle.
Jean stood there, a puzzled look on her face.
"JEAN!" He shouted again.
Jean looked up, confused.
"Diet coke!" Scott shouted.
"Where!" Jean turned and saw Scott standing there.
"Jean I still love you, please take me back!" Scott shouted.
"Nah!" Jean got into her limo as did Nightshade, "Just Mareed" was written on it.
"Jean wrote that didn't she?" Brian Cox said.
"Hell yeah!" The Professor said.
"So, why did you think shouting at her would work?" Kurt said.
"I dunno" Scott answered.
"And whats with the french man out fit?"
"What?" Scott asked, in confusion. He gazed down at his clothes.
"Oh God! Not this again…" Scott ran to his room.
Writers note: I mentioned the ceremony was at the institute right?
Meanwhile, in China…….
"So I said to the the cop 'I didn't do anything' and he said 'I don't care' and that's when I got mad" Jubilee explained, she was sitting at a table with two chinese people, each one looking exactly the same as the other.
"So, did you attack him?" One of the chinese twins asked.
"Nah, jumped down a waterfall" Jubille asnwered, and they laughed and slapped their thighs they did.
Meanwhile, in westchester……
"So Scott, you love Jean, and you would do anything to get her back?" Xavier asked.
"Yeah" He replied.
"Well. Got your self into quite a pickle havn't you?" Xavier said.
"Yeah"
"Well, there's only one thing for it" Xavier stood up, the lights dimmed down. "The Death Ring!" Lightning crashed down outside.
"Professor, Zhat's your answer for everyzhing" Kurt said.
"Maybe. But, sure is appropriate for this situation"
"How?" Scott asked.
"How about you fight nightshade…….to the death" Another crash of lightning erupted from outside.
"Keep 'em coming Storm!" The Professor screamed up the stairs.
Three more bolts of lightning came from the sky.
The professor smiled, pleased with him self.
"When you say Nightshade, do you mean the real guy, or, the pepper mill?" Scott asked.
"Both" Xavier replied, putting his hands together.
Nighshade (The person) Came round the corner and gulped.
"I kid I kid" The professor said laughing slightly. "I of course mean both"
Nightshade gulped again.
"Professor, I'll fight the pepper mill, that's all!" Scott said.
Just then sabretooth came in, with a beard "My names sabretooth, I think you should all shut up" He left again.
"Then it's settled. Rogue!" Xavier called.
"Yeah what?" She answered.
"Call Jean tell her to come to the institute with her pepper mill, for a NO power death game with Scott" Xavier ordered.
"No powers? That's it, I'm screwed" Scott sat back down, depressed.
"Nah man, you can do it" Evan said.
"Your right Kurt, I shouldn't give up" Scott left the room, came back, and punched Evan.
"Yes, Everybody, Demons, losers, goths, cajuns, badgers, hollywood actors, pepper mills. Monkeys, freaks and dumb-asses are all welcome to enjoy the once in a life time, Death fight between Scott Summers AKA Cyclops and Capt.Pepper Pepperson AKA Nightshade" Xavier paused thinking about what he said.
"Yes, now, everybody, to the Death Ring!" Everybody waited for the lightning, it didn't come.
"Storm!" Xavier called.
A Bolt of lightning crashed outside.