Title: Tap on My Window
Word Count: 1572
Rating: K+
Characters: Sasuke Uchiha
Setting: Alternate Universe, Modern-Day
Summary: On Sasuke's tenth birthday, his life changes. After their parents' murders, Itachi left Sasuke alone in the care of their latest guardian. Since then, Sasuke has, more or less, been on his own. It's on his eighth birthday that he vows to give up hope for his brother's return, but it's on his tenth that he finally seals the man away for good.
Two years ago to this very day, Sasuke was waiting for Itachi in this very same place. He could remember it vividly. He'd just moved into a new home with a new pair of unwilling guardians—some distant aunt and uncle who had never wanted kids and didn't wish to start the endeavor now. And if they had wanted a child in the first place, they certainly wouldn't have chosen the jaded, broken kid of this sort.
Sasuke knew what they thought of him, all of them, but it didn't make him all that angry. For a while, he had been far too preoccupied with wishing for Itachi's return to really even notice that he was being neglected. All he could think was that nii-san would come home and read him bedtime stories, or that nii-san would make him his favorite meals when he returned, or nii-san would make sure there were bubbles in his baths before bed... or that there was even a bath running at all to begin with.
Sasuke took on these little responsibilities of caring for himself early on in life, turning the weight of responsibility into a feeling of happiness and pride that he'd have something to show Itachi when the elder finally did return. Sasuke would, then, brag about how he could run his own bath now, even if he usually spilled way too much soap in and got in trouble for it. And he'd brag about how he could make his own sandwiches too, even if he had to go into the kitchen in secret now because he'd broken so many things that he'd gotten himself banned from entering without permission. And, of course, he was never allowed permission. Most of all, though, he'd brag about how he had learned to read big boy books all on his own.
And even if he could do none of those things very well on his own, he still did them anyway. Mostly, it was because he had no choice. The guardians he was stuck with were all there for the simple task of legally claiming him-housing him, feeding him, clothing him, sending him to school. They were not there to love him, and they didn't waste their time with attempting it either. They were typical Uchiha men and women, warm with only those they felt obligated to and cold to the rest. Sasuke was not theirs, and so he was never anything to fret over. And even if he got tired of having to care for himself because he truly couldn't do it very well, he told himself that it would all be better once nii-san came home. Things would be easy again, and it was this idea that he lived by right up until his eighth birthday. It was on that day, though, that Sasuke finally understood the truth as it was.
Itachi was gone, and he wasn't returning. He was never returning.
Sasuke realized that he was alone. He had been alone all along and he would continued to be alone from then on. But he still felt like just a child, like he was far too young to be left all on his own this way. He was only eight. Just eight. He'd sat on the patch of roof just above his bedroom window that day, scanning the area as far as he could see for a familiar form coming his way. He'd made a ritual of that when Itachi had first left. He figured the best place to be for Itachi to be able to find him again would be on the top of the house in plain sight. So that was where he took to spending a good chunk of his time.
Perhaps by this birthday, Sasuke had become so desperate for saving that he could wait not another day longer for Itachi to return. And maybe that was what had led to his breaking. Maybe he had grown so thin and fragile that there was no strength left to endure. He gave Itachi that day though, just that last day. He sat up on that rooftop all day long and waited, giving Itachi one more chance to find him, on the verge of tears through it all. It was okay, though, when he began to cry heavily as the sun went down, because no one was there to see. No one ever would be. He was alone.
The memory of that time came to him so vividly now that his eyes began to sting with tears cried two years ago. He blinked them away though. He would not cry for Itachi. Never again.
Today, on his tenth birthday, Sasuke was leaving. For the fourth time since his parents had passed, he was moving homes. He checked his watch, which he'd stolen from his uncle. The man had no clue, what with all the damn watches he had to begin with, and it wasn't like he looked at Sasuke enough to notice what they boy was wearing around his wrists anyway. His ride was ten minutes late. He could imagine that his current caretakers were probably getting very impatient by now.
Eventually, though, Sasuke did see a car turning onto their road from his vantage point. Perhaps that would finally be the lady from social services coming to take him to another family that didn't want him. He wondered vaguely if they'd ever run out of family members to ship him off to, or if they'd just start saying no. Would they send him to an orphanage then? Were they sending him to one now? He didn't know. But he did know that wherever he was going, it would not be home.
There was only one place for Sasuke to call home now, and that particular place was off travelling somewhere without him. Itachi was probably happy. He had probably forgotten all about his brother. And for that, Sasuke hated him. He had sworn two years ago that he'd forget Itachi too. It had taken a year to really come to terms with the fact that he had been truly abandoned. But by the time he was nine, he didn't want to sit up on the roof anymore. He didn't want to wait for Itachi.
Would he ever really give up hope though? After all, wasn't that why he was sitting on his roof now? Sure, his excuse was that he was waiting for the car to show up and take him away, but he knew the truth. Because even after he spotted the car getting closer and closer until it was inevitably the one he'd been awaiting, he kept searching the area anyway. But no one was there. No one else was coming for him. Maybe this would be the final straw and maybe it was better this way, because Itachi was not rushing to reach Sasuke before he could be taken away again.
So could Sasuke truly give it up now? Would he be able to kick this stupid habit? Or would it go on? Would he continue to wait like the stunted child he was? In the end, he was pulled off the roof by his uncle and shooed away without having been able to really make up his mind. The car ride was made in total silence on Sasuke's end, though the social worker kept trying to engage him. He simply stared out the window and ignored her for a half an hour. After that, the remaining hour and a half drive was made in silence that Sasuke was grateful for. When they arrived at his new "home", the hour was late.
The man of the house received him and there was a small chat before the social worker was gone. Sasuke had expected a gruff first meeting, and that was what he'd gotten. There were no pleasantries exchanged. He was given a half-hearted tour that ended at his bedroom. He was told a few house rules, which were strict and unforgiving, and that if he didn't wish to follow them, then he could simply leave the house and do as he wished. He nodded respectfully, having already known the repercussions of disrespecting an Uchiha man, and bade his new guardian goodnight.
And again, Sasuke was alone.
A glance around his room brought to his immediate attention an open window by the bed. He walked over and looked out. It was an easy point to climb up to the top of the roof from. He briefly scanned the area around the house that he could see, and then he stepped back. It was too painful to keep stepping forward. It would only hurt him even more in the end to step toward these windows. They provided a false sense of hope, and that would only continue to destroy him. He needed to abandon hope and see the world for what it truly was, no more and no less.
This was goodbye and as the final farewell, Sasuke whispered a few words of parting, the last gentle words he would speak to/of his brother for many years to come, before shutting his window softly. That was the last time he would think of Itachi as his brother. Now, he was just another man on the street. Now, he was but a hair short of Sasuke's enemy. It was time to move on, because Itachi had already done that years ago.