~Two chapters in one day, yay! Chapter five will be posted in the near future, but not today I'm afraid.

Chapter Four: Vanish

Find a place where you can be boring.

Where you don't need to explain.

That you're sick in the head and you wish you were dead.

Or at least instead of sleeping here you prefer your own bed, come on.

You just suck at self-preservation.

-LCD Soundsystem

When I awoke I was in the motel room laying comfortably in my bed. I felt fine, and I even checked my fingers to make sure none had fallen off from frostbite. All my digits were accounted for and I was baffled to be here. Had all of that been some sort of twisted dream?

I glanced around the room, and found Death sitting in his usual spot, reading the paper.

"Ah, you're awake." He folded the paper up, noticing my consciousness. "It's about time. I thought you were going to sleep forever."

"Did that really happen?" I asked feebly.

"What exactly do you mean?" He rose his brows, and began sipping on a cup of coffee. "The incident with the Mermaid?"

I nodded.

"It did." His mouth was set in a firm line.

We sat in awkward silence. I was thinking of what to say as we stared each other down severely, but I could only continue to look into his dark eyes. He was so refined and dignified in everything he did that he made it hard to ask for an explanation. Even sitting in the worn out chair was made graceful by his nobleness.

"Why did you save me, Death?" I finally found the words

I sat myself up, which made me feel slightly dizzy.

"Why did you want to die?" He shot back.

I frowned, but didn't say anything.

"I find that I like your taste in fast food." He finally answered.

This made me laugh harder than I should have, and he looked at me as though I were out of my mind.

"What's so funny, Loraine?" His eyes were wide.

"Don't call me that." I practically shouted, no one had called me by my full name in years, and I wasn't expecting to hear it ever again.

I cleared my throat, bringing my voice back down to it's normal pitch. "It's just Lora."

"Well then, just Lora." He continued, a gentler tone in his voice. "What's so funny?"

"You." I chuckled, wrapping my arms around myself. "Saying you revived me because of food. It's hilarious."

"I do like what you get me, but it wasn't the reason." He confessed, and stood up. "Coffee?"

"Then why?" I pressed, and accepted the cup he brought over to me.

"The universe has its way of revealing its intentions." He explained. "There was a battle waging within me that night. My reaper instinct was telling me to end your life, but something bigger was saying to let you live. I couldn't allow you to move on."

"That's odd." I muttered. "I wonder what it was."

"It was intuition." He stood over me, looking indifferent. "Like the kind we get when we know it's time to reap a soul, but I have never impulsively gotten the urge to revive before."

I could feel my cheeks turning pink at his admission, and forced myself to talk about something else.

"How long was I out of it?" I was afraid to ask.

"Two weeks." He continued gazing at me. "Don't worry, I talked to Sam and Dean."

"Thank you." I let out a sigh of relief. "For everything."

He sat down on the side of the bed, a curious look in his eyes.

"I wish you would stop thanking me." He huffed. "You have to know there's something in this for me as well."

"I don't care." I informed him. "It would be rude not to, don't you think? Everyone has their personal incentives."

"You're very strange." He said quietly. "You shouldn't thank someone who's not being genuine."

"A part of me thinks you are." I admitted, giving him a slight smile. "You don't discriminate anyone or anything."

"You're right. I don't." He replied, his voice low. "This was the first time I felt such a compulsion. A part of me feels like what I did was wrong, but I think I would have regretted reaping you. You're the only human I remotely take seriously. It would have been almost shameful to kill you."

He seemed preoccupied by his thoughts.

"T-thanks." I stammered.

"That doesn't mean this is a permanent affair." He quickly corrected when he noticed my shocked expression. "I will reap you someday, make no mistake."

"So this is personal now?" I joked in an attempt to steer away from this subject once more.

"I suppose it is." He smirked. "Very personal."

I hauled myself out of bed, and retrieved my coat.

"I'm going out for a cigarette." I told him.

"After I just saved your life?" He furrowed his brows in disbelief.

"Exactly." I emphasized, sitting my coffee on the nightstand. "I almost died, you revived me, and I want a smoke."

With that I went out to the Mustang, and sat in the car to protect myself from the cold. The taste of the cigarette was mind numbing, and I could feel my stress melting away with every puff I inhaled. I rolled it between my fingers thoughtlessly as my mind drifted to other places. The orange glow reminding me of the sunset I had witnessed the night I killed the Mermaid.

I recounted the lifeless feeling of being put under by Death's power, and his benevolent mannerisms that night. His raven hair had been disheveled by the wind as he advanced on my nearly lifeless body. The warmth of his fingers on my forehead was an instant relief to my body's plead for refuge from the icy clutch of the night. Yet, I still begged for him to bring my life to an end. I never realized how miserable life had seemed to me until the moment I was in the grip of Death.

He had seen me at my weakest point, and that didn't help to mend my already injured pride.

Disposing of my cigarette, and letting out a tiresome sigh, I made my way back to the room. I stopped by the front desk to take one of the mints, and tossed it in my month. The clerk gave me a critical look, and I'm sure he was wondering where I had been. I gave him a nod as I walked over to the stairs, taking my time as I sauntered toward the room, enjoying my mint.

When I opened the door, I stopped in my tracks.

Death was nowhere to be seen. All of the papers were gone, including my laptop, and the contents of my bags had been tossed all over the floor. Everything was practically torn apart in an effort to confiscate each document I owned. The bed was even pushed aside in the pursuit.

"What the hell?" I balled my hand into a fist, fighting the urge to punch a wall. "That son of a bitch!"

There was no way to deny that Death had been behind this. I prayed it was for a good reason, and that he would return with an explanation for such an action. Yet, I couldn't think of a reason for him to do this to me. All I knew was Death was gone, along with a huge chunk of my information.

My hopes for him coming back were dashed away once I saw the note sitting on the table.

'Goodbye, Lora.'

I found myself wanting to curse his name and demand he come back this instant. To tell him this wasn't fair and that we're meant to work on this mission together. But I didn't. Instead a wave of calm engulfed my senses, because I knew something he didn't.

"Jokes on you, asshole." I whispered to myself.

I had made copies of the Pandora papers just in case something like this were to happen, and stored them in the trunk of the Mustang. Not just in the trunk, but in a lockbox carved with almost every ward known to mankind. No way he could worm his way into that box. Not to mention he probably had no idea I had taken the time to do something like that.

Without hesitation I collected the remainder of my stuff and rushed out the door. There wasn't a reason for me to stick around here anymore now that Death had made his dramatic exit. I knew it was only a matter of time before something like this happened, but I had really wanted to trust in Death. Or at least when it came to our arrangement.

Guess I can be gullible after all.

I picked up my cell phone and proceeded to call Dean.

"Hello?" Dean answered hesitantly.

"Dean, it's me." I said as I turned onto the highway.

"You're awake!" He exclaimed. "It's about time, kid. I was starting to worry about you."

"Yeah, I'm awake, but there's something else going on here, Dean." I kept my voice low, afraid Death may have a reaper on my tail.

"What is it?" Worry was seeping into his voice. "Another Mermaid?"

"No." My tone was moody. "Death's gone."

"Wait, what?" He sounded confused. "What do you mean Death's gone?"

"I mean he's gone, Dean." I tried to express the gravity of the ordeal. "He took the Pandora papers and a lot of other things I was working on."

"So, you got mugged by Death?" He asked slowly.

"Not mugged." I was getting irritated by now. "He took everything while I was out."

"You were having a cigarette break, weren't you?" He questioned accusingly.

"I can't babysit Death, Dean!" I exclaimed, strangling the steering wheel. "I thought he would have done this sooner rather than later!"

"Well, he probably knew you would assume that." He sighed.

"What he didn't assume was that I would make copies of the papers, though." The smile in my voice was evident.

"That's my girl." Dean laughed happily. "We're at the cabin in Whitefish."

"Okay, I'm on my way." I said, hanging up the phone.

While fuming from Death's betrayal I probably smoked two packs of cigarettes on the way to Whitefish, but my friends were sure to make me feel better. It took me over a day to get to the rundown cabin, and when I arrived Bobby was outside. He was lounging in an old lawn chair that probably needed to be retired, and he appeared deep in thought. I slammed the door of the Mustang shut and went to the trunk.

"Good to see you, Lora." He nodded to me, a cold beer in his work-worn hand.

"Good to see you too, Bobby." I acknowledged, holding up the warded box. "Have anywhere I can hide this box from Death?"

"You mean the horseman?" He gave me the 'are you crazy' look.

"Yeah, the horseman." I said, showing him just how serious I was. "As soon as he hears I have it I'm sure he'll come looking for it."

"You kids are gonna kill me." He shook his head in exasperation. "I don't think I have anything here that could help you. Everything I owned burned down, remember?"

"Right." I exhaled, put the box down, and shut the trunk. "Sorry."

"It doesn't hurt to ask." He said, attempting to make me feel better.

"Where are the boys?" I asked, looking around.

I walked over to him.

"They should be back soon." He swished his beer around in the bottle. "They took a trip to Washington to deal with a Rougarou."

"Ah, of course they did." I smiled.

"I heard you had a interesting run in with a Mermaid." Bobby redirected. "Dean said you got banged up pretty bad."

"You don't get at a Mermaid very easily, I'll tell you that much." My eyes widened, and I took a seat in the empty chair beside him.

"He also said Death brought you back to life, is that true?" He seemed concerned as he looked at me inquisitively.

"More like he kept me from dying." I whispered, staring down at my pale hands in the early morning light.

"You got it lucky, sister." He observed. "I'm sure he doesn't do that for just anybody."

"He didn't do it for me." I explained, sitting back in my seat. "He did it for himself. Which makes me wonder what's in store for me."

"Ain't nothin good, I reckon." He concluded as he readjusted his hat. "I told those idjits they made a mistake letting you run off with him."

"I had to try, and I really think he was making progress on the papers." I confessed, and began turning red in embarrassment. "I'm not sure what made him change his mind, but that isn't going to stop me."

"You're just as stubborn as Sam and Dean." He chided. "Maybe worse."

"It's my specialty." I teased. "And besides, what kind of hunter would I be if I didn't try? This could solve all our problems."

"A smart one." He said simply. "We all keep taking on these challenges that are way above our pay grade. It's gonna get one or all of us killed."

"At least we're careful." I offered.

"Yeah, right." He retorted. "Like a bull in a china shop careful."

I laughed at this.

"You know it's true, Lora." Bobby went on. "None of you think before plowing into these situations. Sam and Dean play with death on a daily basis, and you've literally been playing with Death. You don't have to put two and two together to realize we're walking a dangerous line here."

"We both know that danger comes with the job." I muttered.

"That doesn't mean you go rogue with the Big Daddy Reaper." He protested. "There's no way that was the last you'll see of him, Lora."

"According to him it was." I promised.

"Let's hope, because we don't need him interfering with this already suicidal mission any more than he has." He let out a sigh.

We brought our conversation to a halt as a junky muscle car came roaring into the driveway. Dean and Sam got out, and they were engaging in some sort of banter about a band. By the looks of it Dean seemed to be winning the argument and Sam was glowering at him. They were a sight for sore eyes.

"Lora!" Dean noticed us as the two approached, and brought me into a hug. "You're alive!"

"I thought you already knew this?" I pointed out.

He held me so tightly I thought I was going to have to ask Bobby and Sam for help.

"It's just good to actually see you in person." He released me from his steel hold, and began waving his hand around. "You know, in the flesh."

"It's good to see you too." I said, smiling, and then turned to Sam. "All of you."

"Get over here, Lora." Sam ordered, and he gave me a hug as well.

"I don't mean to cut our reunion short, but we need to get ready for another hunt." Bobby broke in.

"Let's get to it." Dean approved confidently.

Everyone filed into the cabin. It was even dirtier than the last time I saw it, which I didn't believe was possible. Dishes were piled up in the sink, and mounds of trash scattered across the dirt crusted floor. The smell of old fast food and sweat was prevalent.

Bobby brought us up to speed on a creature that was terrorizing a small town in Iowa. Apparently fifteen residents had gone missing within the last couple of months, and even some police. The thought of a hunt got my adrenaline pumping, and I was craving the distraction of an investigation. This was exactly what I needed to forget about Death.

"We'll hit the road, then." Dean declared, giving Sam a pat on the back.

"I'm coming with you." I insisted, jumping up from my place on the couch.

"I really think you should sit this one out." Sam eyed me skeptically. "You nearly died, and you still need to heal."

"I'm fine!" I urged. "I really need to kill something. A hunt would be the perfect medicine for me right now."

"That's not what Death told us last time we talked to him." Dean argued. "He said you would still need at least a month to recuperate when you woke up."

"Why should we believe anything he's told us?" I inquired angrily.

"He may be a dick." Dean said, a troubled expression on his face. "But I think he was being honest about this."

"So, you're really going to take his side?" I was astonished.

"Sorry, Lora." Sam gave me an apologetic look. "We can't take any chances."

I glanced over at Bobby.

"Don't look at me, I'm not going either." He refused to meet my gaze.

I realized I wasn't going to get anywhere with the boys, and that I was stuck in this hellhole until further notice. On the bright side I would have plenty of time to look over the Pandora papers. I knew it wasn't going to be an easy task, but I had to make some sort of advancement with it. I can't avoid everything that had involved Death forever. Facing the betrayal head on could be the best thing to do, actually.

It seems odd, but I thought Death and I started growing close. Although our time together was short, we had some interesting conversations, I felt they were meaningless at the time, but looking back they were very insightful. Perhaps I could go as far to say we had a handful of things in common. I think that's what made his disappearing act all the more hurtful.

I shook my head, banishing the unwanted emotions.

The last thing I wanted to do was throw a pity party.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked, squinting slightly as he inspected me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I managed to spill out. "Just disappointed."

"It won't be long until you're back in the game." Sam assured me, giving me a slight smile.

"Lucky for you." I punched his arm teasingly.

Before long Bobby and I were watching the boys drive away. As quickly as they had returned, they left. So it always was when you lived the life of the hunter. It was something we all became accustom to. I was staring to wonder if it was a good thing to be able to depart so easily. To say goodbye to our friends and not know if we would see them again.

Most of the time goodbyes were never permanent, even if they were intended to be.