Hey guys, sorry this one is a little short. I've yet to work out my pacing and the right places to cut off at. So, yeah, bear with me on that... Ahem, on with the show!
Yeah, the dinner date? Turns out that Maitel's car had broken down and we had to find a different mode of transportation so now we found ourselves sitting on… Something. I don't know since I couldn't see (thanks to Don Patch. Note to self: Make his death look like an accident) but I heard Bobobo say it was a rocket-propelled poptart with a cat's head powered by the love and joy of a thousand happy children with pop guns. Whatever, I was just clinging to the sides for all my worth as a character so I wouldn't fall off of this crazy thing. Seriously, Maitel was going to owe us BIG TIME for doing this!
"Wait, STOP! We already passed it! Nooo, we're going to be late!" I heard Maitel whine from my right.
"Not on my watch!" Bobobo shouted from in front of me and I suddenly lurched to one side, gripping the thing in a death grip when I felt myself slowly sliding towards the edge.
"Move over, you don't know how to drive this thing!" I felt Don struggling next to me to, probably fighting with Bobobo to gain control of the vehicle.
"Watch out for that old lady!" Maitel screamed and by the shouts of profanities, we just barely managed to swerve around an angry geriatric.
"Hey, you're smudging my glasses!" Bobobo cried and our ride gave another jerk, nearly tossing me over the side. I really want to know how this thing passed the safety test.
"Guys! We passed it again!" Maitel shouted, his voice going unheard over Bobobo and Don's squabbling.
"I think I'm gonna blow chunks…" I moaned, hanging my head over the side with the feeling I was about to lose my breakfast. I'm really glad this mask didn't cover my mouth now.
"You don't even have a license!" Don yelled, nearly knocking me over the edge.
"Woah NELLY!" Bobobo shouted as the poptart cat thing came to a sudden stop and I found myself flipping through the air and crashing through what was probably a wall and landing hard on my stomach. I heard the collective gasps of some girls, probably our 'dates' unless we crashed into some poor girl's slumber party.
"I must go. My planet needs me, nyan~" I heard from an extremely deep voice, deeper than Bobobo's, before feeling a hot blast of air and hearing something rocket off. I'm pretty sure that was our ride. Pfft, whatever, good riddance you haphazard death trap that didn't even have the courtesy to put in seatbelts.
"AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUU!" I could only assume that Bobobo had already jumped into wowing the ladies from their startled gasps.
Sitting up with a grunt—man, crashing through buildings hurt!—I looked around despite the fact that I couldn't see then stood up fully. Well, since I couldn't see and the hectic sounds around me almost drowned everything out—why the heck did it sound like there was a stampede of runaway grocery carts?—I held my hands out to try and feel my way around and followed the sound of the girls since it was our duty to help Maitel get his lady love. Damn Bobobo's chivalry.
Hands stretched out and searching for anything that would help me get my bearings, I suddenly came into contact with something soft and squishy, even a little spherical in shape. Wait… Wh-what? Did I just…? "Um… E-Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to—"
"YOU PERVERT!" And then my head promptly snapped to the side so fast that I was sure I would have whiplash and my left cheek stun like there was a thousand angry miniature bears clawing at my skin. Wait, that means… Holy shnikey, I did! Flushing furiously behind my mask, I immediately backed off, stuttering apologies and stepping back until I bumped into something else that felt hard and rather humanlike. Then I felt being lifted into the air from underneath my arms. Man, I was getting really tired of being picked up lately!
"Woah now! That's not how you treat a lady!" Yeah, I should have assumed it was Bobobo. "You gotta have a little tack first! You can't just go in for the kill, you gotta show them the love before you give it! Ya dig?" I sighed, glad the mask blocked my blush and just nodded to humor him.
"Yeah, I dig."
"That's it! Maitel, we're leaving! And don't ever call me again!" Then there was the slamming of a door and I assumed that our dates left. As soon as Bobobo set me down, I ripped off the mask, looking at it to see that it was a yellow paper plate with a crudely drawn smiley face on it that looked somewhat similar to Don Patch. What a narcissist… Hm… Wasn't there someone we had to rescue…?
"Cathy… Whyyy?" Maitel sobbed quietly and then I remembered. Beauty! We had to rescue Beauty before something bad happened to her! Flinging my mask down and unzipping my sweater, I ran and gave Maitel a swift kick in the stomach, "Looks like you ain't getting any tonight!", and sent Maitel sprawling to the floor in a heap of pain. "Alright buddy, we helped you with your date now tell us where Beauty is!"
"Who… Is Beauty?" Maitel stuttered through the pain, barely lifting his head to look up at out group.
"Don't play dumb!" Don piped up, jumping off the table, "Beauty's the girl that you ordered Tarashi to kidnap and bring to your hideout!" At that, Maitel just smirked, his head dropping back into the floor.
"I didn't order Tarashi to kidnap her. He likes to hunt girls hair on his own and sell it to wig makers on the black market. By now, I'm sure it—" I cut him off by kicking him where the sun didn't shine, leaving him sobbing on the floor for his poor manhood. I turned to Bobobo, who had taken to showing Don Patch how to play patty cake. "So, what do we do now?"
"I reckon we go look for her around the forest. That's where all the action usually happens, right? Right. Okay, let's go!" Couldn't argue with that logic. Stepping out of the eatery after Bobobo and Don, there was one more thing I wanted to do before we left.
"Don Patch?" I called, catching the sun man's attention.
"What do you want?" He sniped, turning around with a hand on his… Hip, I guess, and looking rather annoyed. Clearing my throat, I gestured for him to come closer, noticing how Bobobo had stopped ahead of us and was watching. When he was close enough, I crouched down, taking him off guard by placing a hand on top of his head. Don folded his hand in front of him, his annoyed expression turning into a more curious one as I studied his face for a short while before standing up straight.
"Have a nice trip." Before he could ask what I meant, I pulled my foot back and then kicked him like an NFL football, sending him flying through the air until he was merely a twinkle in the sky. Dusting my hands off, I turned to Bobobo with my hands on my hips and a satisfied smirk on my face. "Okie dokie afro-man, let's hightail it outta here and get Beauty." But, of course, it's never easy with Bobobo. Why do I say that? Because the guy was spread between two sesame seed buns with lettuce and tomato, maybe a little mustard and mayonnaise and was sitting on top of a platform with wheels. "Do… Do I even want to ask?"
"No. Now pull me so we can go save Beauty!" I sighed, noticing how there was a rope that was attached to the platform and took that as an indication to pull him. Heaving the rope over my shoulder, I pulled Bobobo through way we came and, using the power of story fast-forwarding, we found ourselves heading back into the forest in search of Beauty.
"Beauty! BEAUUUUUTTTTYYYYY!" I called, pulling Bobobo's platform down the trail and keeping my eyes peeled. The sound of coughing caught my attention and I looked ahead, seeing our little damsel in distress sitting against a tree and looking very dazed. "Yoh, hey Beauty! What's shakin' bacon?"
"Huh…? Oh! Alma!" Beauty smiled wide, making me smile in return. Her eyes then turned to behind me, her eyes wide with confusion. I followed her gaze, looking back at Bobobo who just stared ahead with no indication of her. "Oh, don't worry about that. I think he's having a mental breakdown or something." I looked back at her, starting to pull Bobobo along again with her following. "So what happened to that Hair Hunter cat?"
"Alma… It was so strange…" The girl said, her eyes to the sky in thought. "Just as I thought I would have to say goodbye to my hair forever, a boy suddenly swooped in and saved me! He didn't even have to lay a finger on the creep, he was so strong! He was really good looking, too…" My eyes slid to her, seeing how her face had a light tint of pink and she stared dreamily off ahead of us. I couldn't help the sly grin that spread across my face as I chuckled quietly, grabbing her attention. "What?"
"Do I smell a crush?" I laughed again when she shrieked in shock, her face going redder.
"Alma! How could you…? No! I don't have a crush on him! Besides, it was probably a onetime thing! I doubt we'll ever have to see him again!" The way my bells rung told me they had doubts about that, but I didn't say anything. Instead, I focused my attention to my stomach and how I haven't eaten a proper meal for quite some time.
"Man, I hope we find another town soon. I could eat my weight in strawberries, I'm so hungry." My stomach growled to emphasize my point.
"Me too. I could really go for a hamburger right now." Beauty input, laying her hand on her stomach. I looked back at Bobobo, just to make sure he was still there and felt my stomach gnaw at itself in hunger. "Do you really have to be a hamburger right now? You're making me even hungrier."
"Keep pulling!" Was his only demand and I sighed, going back to pulling him to wherever the road took us.