A/N: I'm sorry this took so long! I'm preparing for the bar exam and do not have a lot of time to write. It was such a treat to write this tonight, though! I hope you all enjoy it! I'd love some feedback :D

Chapter Four

"How are you?" someone asked.

It wasn't the first time I'd been asked that question today. Not even the second or the third. I couldn't really get too ruffled at the repeated question. What else were people supposed to ask you when you just buried your brother? Any other greeting seemed a bit insensitive, I suppose. I would have been fine with a simple hello, but everyone seemed intent on that searching question and hugs, a lot of hugs. I couldn't remember the last time I'd hugged this many people. Probably when I buried Gran.

The funeral was nice and respectable. Gran would have been proud and Jason would have slept right through it, announcing afterwards that all of it was about as boring as Sunday church. Not that he ever went. I heard a few of the Daughters of the Glorious Dead remarking on that but one sharp glance from Lafayette silenced them pretty quickly. Of course, I could still hear them after that, but Brigette couldn't. She sat next to me, spine straight and child held high. She was a pillar of strength, even with the tears leaking out the sides of her eyes. We held hands tightly throughout the entire ceremony. I don't really know if I grabbed her hand or she grabbed mine, but neither of us let go, our palms pressed together.

We all went back to my house afterwards for the expected funeral luncheon, a few chairs set in front of Eric's hidey-hole to make sure that no little ones accidentally found their way down there. I could just imagine the shrill screams at discovering the undead.

I told Brigette that I would handle the luncheon, and I paid Jason the ultimate tribute by bucking the normal tradition of pot luck casseroles and tears for grilling out, football, and beer. I knew some of the older biddies would talk, but I wanted something that Jason would have liked. And sitting on the front porch, sipping a beer as I watched Hoyt run around with Jason's girls on the front lawn, I knew Jason would have loved this.

But some trappings just couldn't be escaped with the funeral luncheon, and the how-are-you-questions was one of them. This time it was from Arlene, who at least had the courtesy to ask it as she handed me a hot dog. Grilled meat helped out with just about anything.

"I'm not too bad," I said, patting the seat next to me on the wicker two-seater. Arlene sat down, taking a bite of her hotdog. A bit of mustard dripped onto her orange tube top.

"Shit," she murmured, wiping at the spot ineffectively with her napkin. "I just bought this top, too."

"Club soda," I said automatically. "It's in the refrigerator. Gran swore on it to get just about anything out of clothes."

"I'll be right back," she promised, hopping off the seat and rushing indoors to tend to her shirt. A few seconds later Sam walked out. He still lived out of town with his wife, but he came back when he heard the news. It was nice seeing him again. I missed him when he was gone, taking for granted all those days when seeing him wasn't even a question. He opened his mouth, and before he could even get to the question I told him, "I'm fine."

He smiled a bit. "Well, I'm glad to hear that. But I actually wasn't going to ask how you were."

"I'm sorry. I just sort of expect it now. Everyone seems to be really interested in my mental state these days."

"They just worry about you. That's all."

"I know," I said. "But I'm okay. Really. Jason wouldn't have wanted me to mope around with all of this. He would have wanted one really good day of crying and that's it."

Sam laughed. "Yeah, I bet you're right. He moved on, that boy. He would have loved what you did here, by the way. It's perfect."

"He didn't like things that were stuffy," I said, stretching my legs out. "Or serious. He'd have hated having his girls sitting on a couch all quiet while people paid their respects like we did when our parents died."

I looked back out into the yard. Hoyt had Jason's youngest in his arms, twirling her around as the older girl jumped on his legs.

"Jason would have wanted them like this," I murmured.

"I think he would have, too."

There was a beat of silence, both of us watching Hoyt and the girls play. He was a natural with them, and I wondered if he ever regretted not being able to have children with Jessica. It was something I barely even thought about with Bill, too blinded by my feelings. But now that I had Charlie, I couldn't imagine a world without her.

"I heard Eric Northman is in town," Sam said casually.

I looked over at him and asked, "Where'd you hear that?"

"Lafayette."

"Ah. So, you've also heard he's staying with me?" I asked, a slight edge creeping into my voice.

"Hey, calm down. There's no judgment here. It's just a bit of a surprise. I haven't heard that name in years."

I didn't really know what to say to that, so I took a bite of my hotdog to fill the silence.

"Are you two together?"

I nearly choked on my hotdog. After swallowing the bite down I stammered, "What?"

"Just a friend asking a friend," Sam said, laughing at my reaction. "It's not a ridiculous question."

"We're not together," I said. "He's just here for me with everything happening. He's a friend."

"Who's a friend?" Arlene asked, reappearing next to me. She had a large wet mark on the side of her shirt, but the mustard stain appeared to be gone. "Club soda worked like a charm, by the way."

"I can see."

"Who were y'all talking about?" Arlene pressed.

"Eric," Sam said.

"Oh, right. You know he ran up here when he heard what happened with Jason and all? That's sort of romantic, right?"

"It's not romantic," I said. It was our blood bond, nothing more. My brain held fast to that, but other parts of me snickered at its obtuseness.

"That is total shit and you know it," Arlene said. "I don't get why you're so resistant to the whole idea."

It's because you're in deep denial, a voice in my head whispered.

"I'm not looking for anything like that right now. I need to focus on Charlie."

Arlene smirked. "That's sweet and all, Sook, but take it from another single mother. You're eventually going to want to talk to someone who can speak in full sentences. And the longer you wait the harder it is to get back out there."

"She'll get back out there when she's ready," Sam said easily, sensing my discomfort. I shot him an appreciative look and he nodded slightly, grinning over at Arlene.

"Well, I should go find my wife," Sam said, standing up. He turned back to me and said, "We're going to be in town a few days extra. Let's get lunch before we leave, yeah?"

I nodded. "Definitely."

"Maybe we'll go to Bellefleur's," Sam said, winking at Arlene. "You know, for old time's sake."

"You're more than welcome," Arlene said, beaming. "But, don't expect no free meals. I have a business to run."

Sam laughed, patting Arlene's shoulder as he walked past her into the house. Arlene sat back next to me and crossed her legs daintily.

"They really are beautiful," Arlene said, watching Jason's girls play. "That's the great thing about kids. You know that whenever you do leave this world, you've still got the best part of you here."

BBBBB

Everyone left a bit before sundown, and I tidied up the house, throwing away the odds and ends that were left scattered around the house. I'd had a good amount of help cleaning up before everyone left, though, and it only took a good ten or fifteen minutes to get the house looking like its old self. I put Charlie to bed, taking the monitor with me and sat down on the couch in the living room. The house was quiet. Just an hour back it had been bursting with energy. An outsider looking in the window probably would have thought it was just your average party. Brigette was even smiling, and in the rush of people and food it was easy to forget.

Forget what we lost. What we would never have again. I wondered when the crushing feeling in my chest would go away. If it ever would. I picked up the pillow next to me and held it against my chest, tightening my arms around it until I couldn't press my arms any firmer. I thought of all the people who sat on this couch with me. All the people who I would never see again. Jason. Tara. Gran. Terry. My parents. Bill. Alcide. So many people lost. Too many for my thirty some years. When would I stop losing people? Hadn't I lost enough?

I could feel my breath catching in my chest, futilely trying to make its way up my windpipe as my heart slammed against my ribcage. I buried my brother. Four hours ago they put him in the ground, and he wouldn't be coming back up at dark. Pain coursed through my body like someone injected poison directly into my veins. It hurt more than all the other times I'd buried family and friends, and I couldn't understand why. This should be no different. I was used to this. I was good at this.

I felt the need for a drink, something to numb the pain but nothing in my pantry sounded good. I couldn't touch tequila after Alcide's funeral, and now the thought of beer put a big lump in my throat. I'd never been one for drugs, but I considered calling Lafayette. He was an expert in numbing pain. He practically made a business out of it.

My gaze caught on the doors to Eric's cubby, and I got up without really thinking, blindly reaching for the baby monitor next to me. My body knew where it was going and my mind was only too relieved to take some time off. I opened the door and climbed down the ladder, barely even registering where I was putting my feet and hands.

Eric was still asleep, wrapped up in a blanket. I found this irrationally funny, given the circumstances. I slipped off my shoes and lifted the blanket, climbing next to him in the bed. It was a bit small for both of us and I edged closer, hitching my leg up over his and wrapping my arm around him. It was like hugging a block of ice, but I could feel my chest loosen, and I finally felt like I could breathe again. I stayed that way until he woke up, idly thinking how over the past few days he was the only person who'd been able to make me feel remotely normal.

I felt him stir beside me and then he said, "Hello Sookie."

I suddenly felt silly for using him as my own personal pillow. I went to pull away but he held me against him.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked lazily.

"My arm's asleep," I lied, propping myself up and scooting away from him. He smirked and told me, "You know, I can hear your heart racing."

"It's rude to tell people that," I shot back lightly.

His smirk grew into a full-fledged grin, and he sat up, the blanket pooling at his waist. He ran a hand through his blonde hair and then leaned against the wall. He studied me, and I could feel it coming. The how-are-you. The nagging question that I couldn't seem to escape.

"We should go out," he said, surprising me completely.

"Excuse me?"

"It's about time I visit Fangtasia," Eric said. "You should come with me."

"I have Charlie," I pointed out. "I don't think that Fangtasia is exactly baby friendly."

"Pam can watch her," he answered sensibly.

"Pam didn't even want to be in the same room as her a few days ago," I said. "Besides, is she even in Bon Temps?"

"She arrived last night," he said. When I showed surprise he said, "I didn't think it was relevant to tell you."

"It's not," I said. "But, why is she hanging here? I thought she was happy to be rid of Bon Temps."

He arched an eye brow and I had my answer. "She really cares about you."

"You sound surprised."

I thought of how she was when he was chained out in the sun with Russell Edginton and said, "Actually, I'm not."

"So, it's settled. Pam will watch Charlie and we'll go to Fangtasia."

"You need to ask her first."

"She'll do it," he said dismissively, getting up from the bed. He stretched, the hem of his shirt rising just above the waistband of his jeans. I looked away quickly, pressing my lips together. Focusing on more pressing matters than the dusting of hair disappearing beneath his waistband, I said, "You need to actually ask her. And I want to talk to her, too."

"That can be arranged," he said. He grabbed his phone and quickly dialed a number. I heard Pam pick up on the other line, her raspy voice extolling a dry greeting. "Pam, I need a favor."

"I'll talk to her when she gets here," I told him. "I'm going to change."

He nodded, switching the phone to his other ear as he turned away from me. I climbed back up to the house and then walked up to my room. It felt nice to be doing something relatively normal. I used to go out. I'd even made a habit of it. I opened my closet and pushed away my normal uniform to unearth the dresses I hadn't touched since Charlie's dad booked it. I went through the dresses slowly, running my fingers along the soft material. I stopped on the one I'd worn the first time I met Eric. White with cherry red detailing. I quickly changed into it. My body changed a bit after Charlie. I was rounder in places, but it worked well with the dress. I'd had to stuff the top a bit last I wore it, but now I filled it without any problem.

I ran a brush through my hair and added a few coats of mascara. On the way out my gaze caught on the framed photograph on my vanity. It was from when I graduated high school. Gran, Jason and I grinned from behind the glass. I felt a tinge of guilt for sprucing myself up and going out after such a day, but when I looked at Jason's impish grin I knew he'd want nothing less.

I went downstairs and found Eric lounging on the couch, somehow in a change of clothes that I had no idea how he obtained. He looked up at me, clearly poised to say something, but he fell silent as his eyes raked down my form. He swallowed hard and said, "I always liked you in that dress."

"I know," I said.

"Pam should be here soon."

As if on cue there was a knock on the door and I walked over, opening it up to find the other blonde vampire standing there, looking predictably put out.

"You need me to watch your little vermin?" she asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I tend to call her my daughter, but yes, that is the general idea."

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Pam muttered, walking past me. She jutted her chin toward Eric and said, "You owe me."

"I know," Eric said pleasantly. "I'll buy you a heiress next time we're in Russia."

"She shouldn't be too much trouble," I told her. "She's been sleeping pretty well the past few nights. So, she'll probably just sleep the entire time we're gone. But –" I plucked the index card I'd written out previously for babysitters off the table, "-here are contact numbers if anything goes wrong. I'm the first number. See, it says Sookie right next to it."

"Oh, it does?" Pam returned drily. "I had no idea."

I ignored her and continued with, "And right under there is Arlene and then Andy and Holly. You call them if you can't get a hold of me. But I should answer. So, if anything happens –"

"Let me guess, I call you?"

"Pam," Eric said, voice light but a warning edge coloring her name.

"I'll call you," Pam said. "Do you have any New Blood?"

"In the fridge," I said. "There are a few bottles in there, so have as much as you want."

Eric touched my elbow and said, "Are you ready to go?"

I nodded, glancing up the stairs. I knew Charlie was fast asleep, oblivious to her mother leaving, but I still felt maternal guilt pull at me. Pam sighed audibly and said, "She'll be fine. Now go."

"Okay." I realized I hadn't thanked her and quickly said, "I appreciate you looking after her."

"Uh huh. Get out of here before I change my mind."

BBBBB

Eric's corvette somehow ended up in front of my house and we took it out to Fangtasia. The top was down and my hair flew wildly around my face as we drove. It was freeing, the wind rushing past my face. It had been months, years even, since I felt this at peace. We pulled into the Fangtasia parking lot and I climbed out of the car, thinking of the first time I'd been here in this dress. I'd been a different person. So had Eric.

We walked in together, my eyes adjusting to the dark room. The throne still sat prominently on the raised stage, although it was surrounded by rope like a sculpture in a museum. He looked around, his face showing obvious delight with how Ginger had maintained Fangtasia. It had all of its predecessor's sinister charm, with a few upgrades. He put his hand on the small of my back and guided me toward the bar. He ordered a New Blood for himself and then looked at me for my order.

"Gin and tonic," I told the bartender.

He turned his back toward the drinks to get set on our orders when a piercing scream cut through the bar. I didn't even have to look to know to whom the scream belonged. I glanced back and smiled a bit when I saw Ginger stalking toward us, her mouth open and eyes wide.

"Eric fucking Northman," she all but yelled, reaching out and grabbing his hand before shaking it vigorously. "It is such an honor to have you here! An absolute honor!" She glanced past him at the bartender and told him, "Mick, their drinks are on the house."

"Sure thing, Ginge."

"So," she began, rocking on her heels nervously. "How do you like the place? I know it's a little different, I never liked the old color scheme that much, but –"

"I think it's great," he interrupted smoothly. "You did a wonderful job."

She looked about to faint at that answer and I leaned in toward him and said, "You might want to get her to where she can sit."

"Sit!" she said loudly. "You need to sit at your throne! I haven't let anyone else sit on it! Not a single person!"

"Well. I appreciate that. But –"

"Come on! It's been waiting for you!"

Ginger bound off toward the throne and Eric looked down at me. I shrugged in response and said, "I don't think you're allowed to leave here without sitting on it."

We walked over and Ginger unhooked one of the ropes. Eric stepped up on the stage and then sat down on the throne. I could feel the energy in the room change. People looked over at him, sensing his power but not knowing exactly what to make of it. I felt my own personal sort of energy course through me and I crossed one leg over the other tightly.

"It's been too long since I've seen him on that throne," Ginger said reverently.

Eric beckoned for me and I walked up, feeling the collective eyes of the room on me. I stood beside him and asked, "What is it?"

"A proper throne always has a powerful woman beside it."

I thought about that for a moment and said, "What about a powerful woman on it?"

He raised an eyebrow before pulling me onto his lap.

BBBBB

We returned to my house a good two or three hours before dawn. I didn't have the stamina of my previous night-owl-days and I could barely keep my eyes open on the drive home. When we walked in I found Pam spread out on the couch, all the bottles of New Blood from my refrigerator empty on the table. She looked up at us gratefully and said, "Thank God. Staying in one place is so boring."

"How was she?" I asked.

"Slept right through."

"Good," I said, sitting next to her. "Thank you again for watching her. It was nice to get out of the house for a little."

"You're welcome," she said. She stood up and faced Eric, "I want a Russian princess now. The last heiress I had tasted like shit."

Eric smirked. "Whatever you want, Pam."

Her lips quirked. "I like the sound of that."

She didn't waste any time leaving, dismissing my offer for her to stay with Eric during the day with nothing more than a brittle laugh and flip of her hair. Eric sat down where she'd been and propped his legs up on the coffee table.

"Thank you for taking me to Fangtasia," I said. "It was exactly what I needed."

"You're welcome. I remember what it was like when Nora passed. It's easy to get lost in your sorrow. I didn't want that for you."

I'd forgotten about Nora. When it happened I was so wrapped up in my own Warlow nonsense that I'd barely taken any time to address that he'd lost someone close to him. I felt a sudden rush of shame at my own selfishness.

"I'm sorry about Nora," I said.

He was quiet for a moment and then murmured, "I'm sorry about Jason."

I slipped my arm through his and rested the side of my head against his arm. He turned his head toward me and I could feel his mouth brush against my hair.

"I can't thank you enough for being here through all of this," I said. "I don't think I can ever put into words how much it's helped me."

"I'm happy to be of service."

I could hear the smile in his voice.

"What do you have planned next?" I asked casually, although I felt anything but. Ever since we left Fangtasia I couldn't help thinking that with Jason buried all of this had come to an end, that logically meant Eric's exit.

"Pam and I are looking to expand New Blood into the African market," he said. "We have some meetings scheduled."

"Oh."

"They aren't until next month, though. I thought I'd stay here until then. Maybe make a few more appearances at Fangtasia."

"I think Ginger would like that," I said.

"You do?"

I felt my heart race, and knew full well he could hear it.

"I do."