4.
They walked passed the city gate and towards the Whiterun stables and Sura glanced at her friend. There was something bothering Lydia, and she could feel it, but she didn't exactly know how to start questioning her. Finally, as they passed the stables, she opened her mouth.
"I hear things are nearly settled between you and Hadvar," she began but was interrupted by a heavy sigh from Lydia. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she replied. "I'm perfectly content. Just ask my father."
"I thought it was you who is marrying Hadvar, not your father," Sura pointed out and Lydia smiled a little.
"It's not Hadvar," Lydia shook her head and looked at Sura when she bent down to pick some tundra cotton in her basket. "I'm sure he will make a perfect husband. After all, he is kind and patient and handsome and...and...boring," Lydia yawned.
"How is he boring?" Sura scanned her surroundings and headed towards a large tree stump to gather some mushrooms. "He's a soldier after all. And a Nord."
"Yes, he is," Lydia agreed. "But with those Nordic roots of his, he wishes me to stay at our house in Solitude. Taking care of the place, cooking for him, cleaning, looking after the kids."
Sura frowned. "There are plenty of women who are part of Legion. If you want adventure, why don't you join? Surely he doesn't want you to just remain in Solitude.
The thought of Lydia leaving Whiterun pained Sura's heart. She was sorry to see her friend go. In Whiterun, Lydia was basically the only one who accompanied her to the plains, who she could talk and laugh with. She was practically the older sister she never had.
"Oh no," Lydia shook her head. "He told me that he doesn't wish his wife to see the horrors and the gore of the battlefields. So we both know what that means. I am to become a boring housewife."
Lydia rarely wore anything other than her steel armor. Seeing her in a fancy dress, her hair braided neatly down her back made Sura smile. It was a reassuring image, but not very Lydia-like, she admitted.
"Is this why I trained for years? Why did I learn to fight and kill? For this?" Lydia sat down on a small rock. She sighed and rubbed her face. Whiterun looked so beautiful and she already felt a little homesick.
"When are you two heading towards Riften?" Sura sat down beside her. She had gathered most of Arcadia's ingredients, few were still missing. But the afternoon was beautiful and warm and she felt like they didn't have to rush. Her friend needed to talk and she was here, ready to listen.
"I don't know exactly," Lydia looked in the distance. "It seems that things are now quite flammable, with the civil war and all. The last time I heard from Hadvar, he was somewhere near the Darkwater Crossing, said that there was bound to be some Stormcloack activity. But it's been a while. I really don't know where he is now."
"I'm sure he is alright," Sura said when she sensed worry in Lydia's voice.
"I do care for him," Lydia confessed and looked at her. "And I have nothing against marrying him. Like I said, he's quite boring but maybe I'll get used to it. Even enjoy it a little. You will attend our wedding, won't you?"
"Of course I will," Sura smiled. "Wouldn't have it any other way."
Her smile seemed to calm her friend down and they sat quietly for a moment, only listening to the distant voices of the city, the birds chirping in the forest, and the wind that swept down the mountainside. Lydia was going to marry someone, she thought. Even when it was not out of love, her friend found her other half. Lydia would not spend her remaining days alone. But she would remain in Whiterun, creep silently up and down and empty halls of Dragonsreach in the late hours of the morning. Trying to remember who she was and trying to dream up the person who she one day would be. The image was no very alluring or flattering. It almost brought tears to her eyes and she raised her gaze, blinked and looked at the mighty city in the center of the plains. Her voice was weaker and tenuous when she talked again.
"Don't you wish to find love?" she finally asked Lydia. "The person you marry and spend your life with, shouldn't you be able to love him?"
"Love?" Lydia asked and there was honest confusion in her voice.
"Yes, we worship Goddess Mara as one of our Divines," Sura continued. "Why do we still so rarely search for her blessings? Why do we settle for someone who we only find moderately pleasing? If you do not love Hadvar if you see him only as a childhood friend, should you really marry him?"
"I'm not some young maiden anymore," Lydia reminded her. "If I keep waiting for someone to love, I might end up marrying some old, drunk innkeeper."
"But you want adventure," Sura sighed. "Why choose to marry if the only thing you can expect is a boring life as a housewife?"
"I want adventure, I do," Lydia admitted. "But nobody is young forever. We grow older. I think it's better to marry now, have a steady home and a place to go, a place to belong to…"
"But you already belong to Dragonsreach!" Sura interrupted her. "The Jarl is your uncle! You always have a place there."
"True," Lydia nodded. "But the Dragonsreach is the Jarl's home. It's my father's home. And my father wishes me to marry Hadvar. He promised it to my mother before she passed away. And I think he worries about me."
"You're marrying Hadvar only because your father wishes it," Sura glanced at her.
Lydia didn't reply, but they both knew that was ultimately true. Lydia was a rational woman; she wanted to listen to her head rather than her heart. But she understood that Sura was different. Her friend wanted to let her feelings guide her. She believed that eventually, her feelings would lead her to her real family. She was sure she would recognize her family, her parents and sisters, and brothers if she one day would meet them. Her heart would recognize them, not her brain. There were times when Lydia worried that Sura's heart would lead her to a bad place. And she was even more worried when she realized she could not always be here to protect her friend.
"Do we have all the ingredients?" Lydia finally broke the silence.
"Almost," Sura nodded. "We best stay clear of the giant camps, they might get nervous if we get too close. We still need some glowing mushrooms but we can't find those from the plains. And the caves are quite dangerous."
"You're right," Lydia pulled out her sword and stroke the steel with her hand. "Two helpless women like us. How could we possibly defend ourselves? We are meant to be housewives, right?"
"There are some pretty dangerous creatures living in the caves," Sura reminded her. "Spiders, bears, even saber cats. And let's not forget the wolves."
"Don't forget the trolls," Lydia added casually. "My sword would be too slow to beat down a troll but your destruction spell would burn one to a crisp in moments."
Sura raids her eyebrows. Lydia actually knew some of her most guarded secrets. Farengar would have skinned her alive if he knew that she had learned destruction spells behind his back. All he wanted her to learn was calming and healing and clairvoyance.
"You are not as secretive as you think, my friend," Lydia nudged her and laughed.
"Apparently not," Sura admitted.
"I know that you can actually conjure a flame atronach," Lydia continued and her eyes gleamed with amazement. "That's something not everyone can do."
"I wonder how you find out these things," Sura growled but Lydia could clearly see that she wasn't really angry.
"So, with your flame spells, my sword and with a possible flame atronach at our side, would you be interested to get those mushrooms for Arcadia?" Lydia tempted.
"That might be the last adventure you and I can enjoy together," Sura smiled at her and stood up. "Let's go, oh brave Sword-Maiden. Lead us to our next destination."