THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M FOR DARK IMAGES AND VIOLENCE

I woke in the early hours of the morning screaming for Aeryn, I was trapped there again in the day where I'd nearly lost my little girl and the man I loved more than I dreamed possible. The nightmares were awful, I had suffered with them ever since I'd tried to sleep through the night in the hospital.

I saw it all so clearly and my body felt like it was drowning in mud, I was unable to move fast enough I could feel the knife being driven through me over and over again and there was nothing I could do. The only thing I had known that day was I had to protect Aeryn from the intruder in our home.

In the dim early morning light, I saw Lucas come back into our room his face etched with concern but unsure as what to do to calm me. My body was shaking and I knew my face was soaked in tears, I wanted the nightmares to leave me alone. I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy and my day to day life with Lucas and Aeryn, go out and take photographs again. I just wanted normality once more.

"Chloe, gorgeous girl, what's wrong? Please talk to me, let me in."

He climbed onto the bed, his strong arms pulling me close to him as I lay back against him the tears began to fall once again… Could I do this, could I talk about that day? I talk a deep breath and began.

"I see it as clear as I see you now, I can feel everything… I can hear Aeryn screaming, the sound of the furniture smashing around me."

His arms tightened around me as I tried to speak, I had to tell him what had happened, if I was ever going to move forward. Hell, if we were going to move forward together.

"I was playing with Aeryn, she'd slept later than I'd meant her too and I'd decided not to go to the playgroup... we were on the floor lying together and she was so happy Lucas, smiling at me whilst she played with her blocks. Then I heard a noise, the door was being forced open I remember putting Aeryn into the travel cot and going to find out who was there. I know now of course, I was stupid doing that, I should have just taken Aeryn and run out the back but I wasn't thinking straight.

The man, Erik? He came through into the room screaming at me in Russian and the only word I knew that he was saying, was your name. Over and over he said 'Lucas' I kept telling him you weren't here that I wasn't sure where you were, all I could think about was how I could get him to leave us alone.

He was throwing stuff around, his voice getting louder and louder and he had me pinned back against the wall, Aeryn was just watching us crying softly. Then I saw the knife in his hand…"

I stopped talking, my mouth was dry and the tears were pouring down my face. I felt like I couldn't breathe, Lucas' arms tightened around me as he whispered how much he loved me, how proud he was of me for keeping Aeryn safe. How I had fought back from it all. I found the strength within to carry on.

"I tried Lucas, I really tried to get away from him but he was too strong for me, I felt the knife enter me over and over again, the look on his face was so cold. He wanted me dead, I know it Lucas, and he stabbed me four or five times. My hands were soaked in my own blood as I tried to get away, every time I pushed him, he slashed the blade against my arms.

I remember falling to the floor, knocking a table or bookshelf over, I couldn't fight anymore I just didn't have the strength, I pulled myself across the floor trying desperately to get to Aeryn. If I could see she was alright, I could try to fight back from it all, I knew Lucas that I'd lost a lot of blood… I knew that if someone didn't find me I was going to die and that terrified me. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving you and Aeryn.

The last thing I remember was hearing Aeryn calling out for me and I knew I couldn't reach her. I simply didn't have the strength to stand, so I pulled myself as close as I could to her."

I curled up into my fiancés arms and let myself be lost in the loving words he was saying quietly to me. The tears slowly stopped as I felt him slip around to cradle my face in his hands and gently kiss me, his warm fingers wiping away the fallen tears from my cheeks. I needed to move forward, I maybe down but I was far from being out.

It was time for me to fight back from the nightmares, from the past… I had everything to live for and I was going to live it well.