The lights in the room were bright and hot, perfectly engineered to make one feel nervous even if they had been perfectly calm when brought in. Miranda squinted at the turian C-Sec officer standing at the desk across from her, one of the two who had arrested her, who also turned out to be her interrogator.

"I already told you, I wasn't the one that destroyed the tree!" Miranda protested as he continued grilling her.

"Uh huh," the officer nodded skeptically. "It was your imaginary krogan friend who could turn invisible, right?"

"No, the krogan doesn't turn invisible, only my human friend can do that! She's a thief and she uses this cloaking technology, right? And..."

"Sure," he interrupted her. "Have you been drinking or using any illicit substances lately? Hallex? Red Sand? Blue Sky? Pixie Stix?"

"What? You think I'm on drugs?" Miranda asked in an offended tone.

His human partner entered the room with a datapad in hand. "So where are we going to put her? All the holding cells are full right now."

"I hate this time of year..." the turian sighed. "Where did we put Buttons when we brought him in an hour ago?"

"Cell C-7. You think maybe we can fit her in there too?"

"I think there's still room," the officer shrugged. "Alright, Sunshine. Let's get moving."

Miranda was forced to walk down a row of holding cells which were just as bloated from the holiday rush as the stores had been. An obviously intoxicated volus made catcalls at her as they walked by and some nutcase all the way down at the other end was screaming something about everyone being trapped in a computer simulation or something.

They stopped at a cell that already had three occupants. There was a salarian who looked high as a kite who seemed to have rediscovered his hands recently and was completely unaware of his surroundings. A silent, brooding turian was crouched in a dark corner like a feral dog. He was covered in blood and had his left eye and several deep wounds on his face heavily bandaged up. Currently smashing his head against the dented wall was a heavily scarred krogan who stopped long enough to look at the officers.

"Hey, Taz. Hi, Micah," the krogan said to the officers. From the calmness and first name basis of the krogan's introduction, it became obvious that this guy was apparently a regular here at C-Sec.

"We brought you a new cellmate," Taz said calmly before shoving Miranda inside.

"Good. It's not fun playing with the salarian," the turian in the corner said in a deep, raspy voice.

"Enjoy your new roommates, miss," Micah said sarcastically as the door shut.

Miranda had her back pressed against the cell door, a look of terror on her face as she contemplated her new cellmates. Both the one-eyed turian and the krogan were staring at her as though contemplating her as well.

"Hi. I'm Buttons," the krogan said.

"Of course you are..." Miranda nodded. She wondered if that was a nickname or if some insane individual actually decided to name a krogan "Buttons".

"Do you want to play a game?" the turian asked her darkly.

"Got any 7's?" Korvus, as Miranda had learned the turian was called, asked.

"Go fish," Miranda replied. She, Korvus, and Buttons all turned their heads silently at the salarian as he began eating his cards.

"See, this is why we didn't like playing with him," Buttons sighed.

Tali was in the process of helping move some boxes of cookie mix that had just been delivered to the mess hall when she was spotted by Mess Sergeant Gardner. "Tali! I'm glad you're here! Could you stop and help me a moment?" he requested.

"I'm supposed to be helping decorate," Tali replied. "Shepard just asked me to bring you these."

"It'll only take a second!" he promised. "I just need you to taste something for me."

"Will it kill me?" she asked suspiciously.

"It's dextro. That's why I need you to taste it," he replied. "I was making eggnog for the party and wanted to make something for you and Garrus, but I can't taste it without poisoning myself, and I think Garrus is busy helping put the tree up."

"Oh...well in that case, sure."

Gardner poured a little bit into a sterilized glass for her and she plopped an "emergency induction port" into it. "Let me know what that tastes like."

"Hmm...it's a little weak," she replied after tasting it.

Gardner reached for the turian rum and added some more to the pot. "Alright, just a second..."

30 minutes and half a bottle of alcohol later...

Tali struggled to find her mouth with the straw and was leaning off to the side. "Still needs more...rum..." Tali said before hiccuping.

"Are you sure there's not enough already?" Gardner asked. He watched her teeter over and fall off her seat onto the floor. "Are you okay, Tali? How many fingers am I holding up?" He held up two fingers in front of her face.

"...eight?" she guessed. "Wait...I lost count...can I start over?"

"Is it standing on its own?" Garrus asked. "It's not teetering over?"

"Looks straight," Shepard nodded. "And if it falls over again, we can always do what my dad did the year the tree flattened my grandmother."

"Which is?"

"Get some string, nail the damn thing to the wall, and come up with an excuse for the commanding officer when he finally notices."

"You are the commanding officer," Garrus pointed out.

"Well then I'll have to explain to Joker why there's holes in the wall of "his" ship." They stood back and admired the undecorated tree when Shepard realized something. "Have you seen Kasumi or Miranda lately? Neither of them came back with Grunt."

"Not since they left for shopping yesterday," the turian shook his head. "Maybe they're still shopping? Kasumi told me that Miranda picked Jack for Secret Santa. Maybe they're just having a hard time finding something."

"Perhaps," Shepard supposed. "Hey, speaking of disappearances, where's Tali? I sent her to the mess hall with that cookie mix forty minutes ago..."

Just then, with timing that could have only been Christmas magic, the automatic door opened and Tali, who had been leaning against the other side, spilled over onto the ground. "Iss like I'm the sun and everything's revolving around me..." she slurred from the floor.

"Found her..." Shepard and Garrus sighed.

Nailing the tree to the wall was based on a true story too. Let's just say Christmas with my grandfather is even more of an event than it is with my dad.