Despite being the chapter we were looking forward to writing, this was by far the hardest to come up with. We hope it makes up for the wait though! Things happen for various reasons, but one thing we can caution you is not to eat while reading.
"Elsa, you can't wear that!"
"Why not?" Elsa looked down at herself. She was in her signature ice dress, and it even seemed particularly sparkly that day.
"Elsa, you wear that all the time!"
"I like it." Elsa shrugged.
"Elsa, dates are supposed to be special."
Elsa sighed. "Fine," she said, "I'll change." Elsa waved her hand. The dress turned purple.
"That's not what I meant!" Anna facepalmed.
"What? It's changed."
Anna glared.
"Fine. I'll really change. What do you want me to wear?"
Anna squealed, grabbed Elsa's hand, and dragged her to her closet.
"Wow!" Anna said, after studying Elsa in front of the mirror.
Elsa smiled as she took in her reflection. Her hair was down and flowing over her shoulders. She wore a red halter-top dress that flared up in the skirt.
"Wow," Anna said again.
"Look alright?" Elsa asked with a grin.
"You look fantastic!" Anna gave her a thumbs-up. "Are you ready Elsa?"
"Not really." Elsa tugged at her new attire.
"How about now?"
"Still no."
"Now?"
"Fine. I'm ready."
"Are you sure?"
"No."
Anna pondered, unsure if Elsa was actually prepared for the meeting with Henry, her current date. She hummed in thought, having been walking around Elsa in circles and not allowing Elsa to leave until she decided she was ready. Maybe her hair needs to be changed too. Anna reached over and ruffled Elsa's hair to mess it up and style it again.
Elsa swatted her away before she could try to fix it, "I look fine, stop." She fixed it herself, grumbling a bit as Anna continued fussing over her.
"I know. I know." Anna backed off with a smile, "I'm sorry, I just don't want anything to go wrong! This is important to you."
Elsa was about to remark that it sounded like it was more important to Anna, if anything, but decided against it for now. More so because maybe this was important to her too and she just didn't know it yet? Who knows? Maybe this was what she needed. Seeing how happy Anna and Kristoff made each other, she wondered what would happen if she fell in love with someone too.
Wow, Anna, you've really outdone yourself this time, Elsa thought.
Anna had rented out one of the inns in town for the evening. She had decorated the place herself with lanterns and fancy tablecloths. She had even cut out a bunch of paper hearts and snowflakes and sprinkled them everywhere.
It was in that moment Elsa realized she had no idea what she was doing. What do people do on dates? Did she have to go on another date later? Is there a specific order of events that happen in dates? What is a date?
How dare Anna leave her to function on her own!
Elsa cautiously turned around to face the guy waiting for- oh no he was staring at her. Quick look away. Was she supposed to stare back? Were they supposed to just stare at each other? Should she say something? Should he say something?
Henry stood nervously at the doorway as Elsa glanced around. Elsa tried not to grimace when she walked up to him.
This is supposed to be fun she reminded herself.
"You look lovely tonight, Your Majesty," Henry said.
"Thank you," Elsa said with a slight nod of her head. "But you can just call me 'Elsa.'"
"Yes, Your Majesty."
Elsa smacked a hand to her forehead, rolled her eyes, and held out her arm. "C'mon," she said.
Just then, Kristoff walked over. He had his hair slicked back and was wearing a tux.
"Wow, Kristoff, you look very nice," Elsa said. Henry turned very red.
"Thank you," Kristoff said, tugging at his collar. "It's kind of uncomfortable. But Anna insisted." He shrugged. "Anyway, your table is this way." Kristoff grabbed Elsa's other arm and dragged her and Henry along behind him.
When they got to the table, Henry hurriedly untangled his arm from Elsa's and scrambled to pull out her chair before Kristoff could. She smiled and sat down.
"I'll be your waiter this evening, I guess," Kristoff said with a slight shake of his head. "I'll be back with some water in a few minutes. Um, just talk until then, I guess."
Henry looked down at the table-cloth. Elsa stared at a spot on the wall just above his head.
"So…" they both said at the same time. Henry clapped his hands over his mouth. Elsa chuckled.
"You go first," she said.
"Um. Okay. So… what… um… what do you think you're going to order?" he said lamely.
"I'm not sure," Elsa said. "I don't really know the options and at home usually Anna picks what we have for dinner. What about you?"
"I'm not sure either. Probably fish or something."
"Hmm. Maybe I'll try that too."
Kristoff came back with water and two handwritten menus. Elsa thought she recognized Anna's handwriting. There were also doodles of two stickfigures kissing with hearts around them. Elsa resisted the urge to slam her head on the table. Henry turned bright red when he noticed the stickfigures.
Elsa turned back to read her menu. There were three options.
Steak
Sandwich
Salad
Under that, there was a section labeled "Desserts." It had one word:
Chocolate
"Oh," Henry said, "I guess I won't get fish then." He scratched the back of his head.
"I'm sure I could convince them to go find some fish if you really want it," Elsa said. "I could probably have Kristoff run back to the castle if they don't have any here."
"Oh no, no, it's fine. I'll, um, I'll have the salad."
"Salad," Kristoff said pretending to write on invisible paper. "And you, Your Majesty?"
"Kristoff, call me 'Elsa.' I'll have the sandwich."
"Sandwich," Kristoff said, pretending to write again. He started to walk away, but Henry interrupted him.
"Wait! I'll have a sandwich too!"
"Um. Okay…" Kristoff said. "Two sandwiches then. I'll have those right out."
"You didn't have to get the same thing as me, you know," Elsa said crossing her arms.
Henry held up a hand of assurance."No, no you made it sound good. I wanted it."
"Okay."
"So, um, you asked us a bunch of questions, but we never got to ask you anything."
"Well, what do you want to know?" Elsa asked.
"What's your favorite color?"
"Blue," Elsa replied.
"Mine's green," Henry said. "What's your favorite thing to do?"
"Hmmm," Elsa thought, rubbing her chin. "That's a tough one. I like ice skating. Hanging out with my sister. Doing math." Elsa blushed. "That probably sounds super boring."
"No, I like math too!"
"Really?" Elsa perked up.
"Well, no, not really. I think it's boring. But it's cool that you like it!" Henry nervously smiled.
"Hmm. What do you like to do?" she returned the question.
"Oh, um, well." Henry rubbed the back of his neck. Elsa thought he was going to get a rash if he kept it up. "I like, um, fishing. And, um, ballroom dancing?"
"I'm not very good at dancing," Elsa admitted.
"I could teach you, if you want."
"That… could be nice," Elsa lied. Her stomach churned a little at the thought.
"I'm pretty good at it, if I do say so myself."
"Hmm," Elsa hummed.
Kristoff returned with two platters of food. "Your dinners," he said, bowing. Elsa giggled. Henry looked afraid, staring at his own sandwich with a noticeable wince.
"Thank you, Kristoff," Elsa said with a smile. She looked down at her sandwich. "Wow," she said. It was at least a foot long, piled high with meats and cheeses of all sorts.
"Oh," Henry said observing his.
Elsa took her knife and fork and cut off a small sliver of the sandwich. She then cut that into thirds, and lifted a bite to her mouth.
Henry continued to stare down.
After several bites of her own sandwich Elsa asked, "Aren't you going to eat?"
"Oh," Henry said, snapping out of his daze. "Oh, yeah. Yeah." He didn't move.
Elsa paused. "Well?"
Henry slowly lifted his hands toward the sandwich. He lifted the top piece of bread off and set it down next to his plate. He then took a slice of cheese in his hands and began nibbling.
Elsa stared at him confused.
Henry continued to eat his cheese.
Elsa shrugged and turned back to her sandwich, refusing to look at Henry. She didn't feel particularly talkative.
When Elsa had finished her sandwich, she finally looked back at him. He had completely dismantled the sandwich and had eaten only the cheese.
"Are you not hungry?" Elsa asked..
"No, I'm good," he said, as his stomach growled
Elsa folded her arms. "Why didn't you eat? Was the food not to your liking?"
"Um. Not exactly, no. I don't really like bread or meat. Just fish."
"Why didn't you say something?" Elsa asked, her face softening. "You could have had anything you wanted."
"Well you ordered the sandwich so I thought I should too."
Elsa gave him an incredulous look. "Kristoff!" she called out. "Will you please have the chef bring Henry some salmon? And some more water for me?"
"Right away, Your Maj-" he stopped upon seeing the look Elsa was giving him. "Right away, Elsa," he corrected himself.
Henry was much happier after he had eaten his fish. Elsa had even gotten him to open up a little bit more. She had discovered that he was a fisherman and that he liked to race horses on his days off.
"Anna would love you," Elsa told him.
"And what about you?" Henry asked then quickly took a drink of his water.
Elsa jolted. "Well, yes, of course Anna loves me," she said.
"No, I mean… nevermind."
There was a very long pause. Elsa fiddled with the ends of the table cloth, freezing and unfreezing the strings. Henry stared at the ceiling. They stayed like that for several minutes until Kristoff interrupted them.
"Anna-I mean- the kitchen wants to know if you're ready for dessert."
"I'm more than ready," Elsa nodded.
"Yeah, sure, I guess," Henry said.
"All right," Kristoff said. He could sense the tension in the air and didn't want to leave, but Anna had specific instructions. "I'll bring it right out." He shot Elsa an "I'm sorry" glance.
"So... you really like chocolate, huh?" Henry awkwardly asked.
"Yes, who doesn't?"
Henry shrugged, and looked down at the table again. Elsa sighed. She was ready to go home.
"So… um.. What are you up to tomorrow?" Henry spoke back up.
Elsa shrugged. "I have a council meeting in the morning and then Anna wants to go on a picnic."
"Oh. So you're busy then?"
"Yes." Please don't ask me out again. I don't think I could handle it.
"Oh. When are you not busy?"
Oh no. "Um. I'm not sure. I'm busy most of the time. I had to put a lot on hold for this." Elsa clenched her teeth, keeping cool as she desperately wanted to go back to the safety of her home.
"Oh. Okay." Henry paused for a while, then opened his mouth to say something else. Elsa looked at him, panicked, but thankfully Kristoff came back with their desserts just in time.
"Thank you, Kristoff!" Elsa all but shouted. She picked up three pieces of chocolate and shoved them into her mouth in a very un-queenlike manner. Henry jumped, and then followed suit.
When all the chocolate was gone, Elsa quickly got out of her seat and started walking out the door. "This-was-fun-but-I-have-to-go-now-thank-you-have-a-nice-night!" she said in one breath, fleeing.
Anna was waiting in Elsa's room when she got back. "Omigosh tell me everything how was it? Was he cute? Did you kiss him?"
Elsa sighed and flopped dramatically on her bed. "It was… alright. I guess. And no, I did not kiss him." She made a face.
"Well why not?" Anna asked, rushing over to the bed.
"I just wasn't feeling it, I don't know."
"But wasn't he cute?"
"I guess?"
"Elsa."
"What?"
"You are not making this easy."
Elsa sighed and rolled over, burying her face in the pillow. "I'm not sure I'm cut out for this," she mumbled.
"What was that?" Anna said, looking concerned.
Elsa rolled back over. "He just didn't feel right. He was very awkward. It's easier to talk to Sven than this guy."
"Ouch."
"Well it's true! He just… ugh. He asked if I loved him, Anna. Well, kind of. He implied it. And he ordered a sandwich only to take it apart and eat just the cheese."
"He defaced a sandwich?!" Anna gasped like that was the worst thing Henry could do, "Oh you're right Elsa, he is definitely not the one for you."
Elsa rolled her eyes then nodded.
"Okay, so, what now?" Anna asked.
"I don't know. That was exhausting."
"We can try again though, right?"
Elsa opened her mouth to say no, but when she caught a glimpse of Anna's face she stopped herself. Anna just looked so hopeful.
Elsa sighed, just barely able to get out the words: "Okay. Let's try another."
Anna beemed.
"You're ready! Okay so your guy's already been waiting there and you're kind of late-"
"Because of you..."
"Not important. -And you're kind of late so I want you to put on your best smile and go on out there and kill it!"
Elsa furrowed her eyebrows, "Kill…what? I didn't sign up to kill anything. I don't even think I signed up at all… Anna what-?"
Anna shushed her, "Never mind that. Just give me your best smile!"
Elsa paused for a few seconds as if she wasn't sure how to do that on command, awkwardly giving a weak, lopsided smile. "…Good?"
"Perfect! Now go!" Anna pushed her out towards a nearby tavern where her 'date' awaited. Except Elsa's heels were dug into the ground, Elsa still hesitant to take any steps forward. Anna dragged her all the way there instead and waved to the man patiently waiting in a table for two just outside the tavern's doors. "Sorry we made you wait so long!" She apologized, squashing Elsa down into the open chair despite her resistance.
The guy, 'Benjamin' Anna remembered his name from the papers, shook his head and laughed, "It is alright. I have only just arrived a minute or two ago. My apologies for having Your Majesty rush." He nodded towards Elsa who was looking down at her hands in her lap, shyly giving him a nod too.
Anna grinned, patting Elsa on the shoulder and seemingly walking off only to dive behind a wall nearby to watch in secret.
Elsa sighed when she left, taking a deep breath as she braced for another of these… dates...
"So… Your Majesty, how are you on this lovely day?" Benjamin started the small talk. He sat with his back straight and chin slightly rose in a way that made it a bit noticeable he was trying his best to impress a royalty by his elegance and politeness.
Elsa deadpanned at his question. "F-Fine thank you. And you?" She asked back. If this date was just to talk to him then it sounded easy enough. Maybe this would all benefit in the long run? Hopefully…
"I am pleasant. It has just been such an honor to make your acquaintance and I am delighted."
Elsa paused for a few seconds just taking everything in. She wasn't sure why but there was already a certain way he spoke that bothered her. It was like being reminded about having to sit through hours of meetings with dignitaries. Elsa nodded and forced a smile, remembering the real reason why she was even out there:
To find romance. Apparently.
And already she wasn't so interested in Benjamin. The date continued on for a while longer with him asking rather plain questions like 'how was the weather.' And when he spoke to her he used such formal vocabulary that she knew even those in her meetings wouldn't use. Around maybe forty-five minutes of sitting through that, Elsa decided to call it quits, tired of it all and excusing herself and apologizing, informing him it wasn't going to work out.
Somehow, three more dates passed. Two rather quickly, for both Elsa and the guy were unable to say anything. The third went on a bit longer, but all he wanted to talk about was himself and would cut her off without even realizing. So, Elsa ended that one too.
The next date… or more so 'Let Elsa Meet You First'… was currently ongoing, Elsa finding this one to be more enjoyable than the previous ones. Not by much, but it was there.
The sun had been going down, the nighttime beginning to take over.
Elsa continued with the 'date' though, finding all of this a lot more fun as a friendly thing even if she still had no idea what she happened to be doing and-
-wait, where did that candle come from?
Elsa stopped mid-sentence as she and the guy stared down at the sudden lit candles in the middle of their table. "Um…"
He coughed, looking away with a blush on his face from how their setting had changed.
"Anna…"
"Kristoff did you see that?! I'm like a ninja! They didn't even see me!"
"Anna."
"Look their table is so romantic with the candles! I am on fire!"
"Anna you are on fire."
"Yeah I know right?!"
"No, Anna, look down. Now."
Anna gave Kristoff a bewildered look from his odd request, sniffing the air and coughing as smoke entered her nose. "Oh gosh something's burning." She tried to fan it away with her hand but the smoke just kept coming back. "What is that?!" Anna growled as her head snapped down to the hem of her dress which was apparently the source.
Flames ate away at her clothing.
"Oh." Anna blinked a few times, now understanding what Kristoff meant. She could feel the heat getting closer to her skin by the second. "Heheh…" Anna shrugged with a weak grin. "Oh…" She looked at Kristoff with dreaded realization.
Elsa forgot about the candles seeing she didn't exactly care anymore.
The guy was in such a brighter mood though. He liked how well everything was going and was sure he had a pretty good chance with Elsa by-
"AHHHHHH!"
Elsa completely flung out of her chair at the scream, running towards whoever had made that sound without a second thought "ANNA, WHAT?!"
From where the guy was already staring, he could see a person literally on fire running around in circles and rolling on the floor in a poor attempt to get it off. Another person was chasing after them, trying to stop the fire too, but couldn't keep up.
He watched as Elsa blasted the air with snow, then shrunk back and winced in fear as Elsa extinguished the flames to nothing but smoke with a flick of her wrist.
Elsa helped Anna out of the pile of snow she had created on instinct, "Anna are you okay?!" She gasped, checking to make sure Anna was in no way hurt.
Anna hurried to nod and reassure her, "I'm alright thanks to you." She laughed.
Elsa took a deep breath, sighing seeing Anna's ruined and singed dress. "Anna…" She began.
Anna nervously smiled back, preparing herself for Elsa to scold her for accidentally setting herself on fire. She hid behind Kristoff who was just catching his breath. "Hi… Elsa…" Anna whispered.
Elsa rolled her eyes as Anna just put on the innocent 'sorry-please-forgive-me' face. "Seriously Anna? Again? Come on… Let's go get you into whatever other dress you have that isn't also ruined…" She took Anna's arm, dragging her out from her hiding place behind Kristoff and towards the castle.
Anna stumbled to catch up to her, "Wait wait! What about your date?!"
Elsa shrugged, "Eh. It wasn't that great."
"Yeah but you just left the guy there!"
"I'm sure he's left already after watching all of that..."
And yet... another day...
Elsa stood at the entrance of the castle, waiting for the latest guy to pick her up. She sighed and shook her head, remembering all the other had been going on for days; Elsa forced to squeeze in all of these failed dates in her busy schedule in hopes they could finish the stack quicker and help Elsa find her guy.
I really hope this guy's the one. I don't know how much more of this I can take.
She jumped when a large man stomped in front of her. He yanked her hand to his mouth and kissed it. She grimaced. I could have frozen his lips!
...Or been like Anna and punched him.
"Hello, Your Majesty. I am Gus Bjorn, and I am the love of your life." He winked sending chills down her spine.
"Um, hello, Gus. Just call me…" she hesitated. She wasn't really sure if she wanted him to be so informal with her. He kind of creeped her out. By 'kind of' she meant really creeped her out. "Just call me Queen Elsa," she said, compromising with a strained smile.
"Okie dokie, Queen Elsa. Come, come, I have many big plans for today and we have no time to lose."
Great. Elsa was already wondering how this guy had even passed the qualification rounds to meet her. Anna surely wouldn't let someone as creepy as him pass...
"Well, are you coming?" Gus asked. He was sitting on a very large horse with no saddle, reaching down for Elsa to take his hand.
"You're joking, right?" Elsa crossed her arms over her chest and backed away, skeptically staring at him and his reached hand.
"No. Why would I joke about this. This is my horse. He will take us where we need to go, and he will take us there fast."
"He has no saddle."
"I do not need a saddle."
"I do need a saddle."
"You will not. Here, I will keep you from falling off." He patted the space in front of him.
"There's not room for both of us," Elsa said. She was starting to panic now, not coming up with a way to get out of this. I am not riding with that animal. No offense, horse.
'None taken' she imagined the horse replying- oh great I've been around Kristoff too much, she thought.
"There is if we sit close together."
Elsa tried not to puke. She looked around frantically for a way out. Suddenly, she had an idea. With a wave of her hand, she conjured up a snow-horse for herself, complete with a saddle and reins. With both a relieved and sly smirk, Elsa nodded to him, carefully mounting her ice-crafted horse with a bit of pride from her quick-thinking, "Shall we be off?"
Gus scoffed, looking disappointed. He quickly recovered, however, and snapped the reins of his horse, sending it into a gallop. Elsa followed suit.
Elsa followed Gus for a very long time, out of the castle, out of the city, and into the woods. She felt very uneasy when they left the town lines, but she figured she could take care of herself, what, with her ice powers and all. Besides, she was pretty sure Anna had some guards tailing her, if Anna herself wasn't following.
"Where are we going?" Elsa asked after a while. She had heard rumors of wolves in the area.
"We are almost there. It is a surprise."
Elsa shrugged and continued riding. This guy is giving off major creep vibes. Maybe I should
just leave now. She was about to order her horse to turn around, when they came upon a cabin. Definitely creepy she thought, but followed him anyway. I really really hope Anna sent guards after me…
"Here we are," Gus said, dismounting his horse. "This is my cabin. I use it for hunting."
"Oh, that's… nice," Elsa noted. She also dismounted her horse, who gave her a worried whinny. With a subtle flick of her wrist, Elsa turned her horse into a tiny snow-bird. Go tell Anna where I am, and that if I'm not back by sunset to send guards after me she thought at it. It nodded and flew off.
"So, um, what are we doing here?" she asked, turning back to Gus. He had gone around to the side of the cabin and pulled out two rifles. Elsa's eyes widened in panic.
"We are going to teach you how to shoot. A queen should know how to protect herself, and as my wife you will also help me hunt."
Elsa was livid. "I do not need to learn to shoot. I am the queen. I have guards to protect me, and ice powers to boot. And I am not your wife." Nor am I ever going to be.
"You are not my wife yet," Gus said, eyebrows wiggling. "But it will be fun. You must try it."
"Fine, I'll give it a shot. We're not going to be hunting animals, though, are we?"
"We are, yes."
"No. We'll be shooting at targets, or we will not be shooting at all."
Elsa had to admit, she was having a lot of fun. It was very relaxing to just cause some destruction. She even forgot Gus was there at some point, until he interrupted her thoughts.
"Elsa, we should be stopping now. I do not want to run out of bullets."
"You've got a point." Elsa realized he had stopped calling her "queen," but she let it slide. "It's getting pretty late, maybe I should go home."
"Nonsense! We have not even had lunch yet. There are still so many things we have to do!"
Oh boy, Elsa thought.
Elsa stared down at the plate in front of her. Gus had piled so much weird food on it, she didn't even know where to start. "Um, what am I looking at here?" she asked.
"You are looking at all of the foods I made. And you should not be looking, you should be eating."
"I would like to know what I'm about to eat, please."
"Only the finest for you Elsa."
"That doesn't really answer my questi-" Elsa grimaced as Gus immediately shoved whatever he was eating into his mouth, filling up until his cheeks bulged and a bit of food disgustinglycame back out. It was a time like this where Elsa wondered to herself, what on earth was she still doing with him?!
"Um…" Elsa didn't face him as he ate, feeling sick and just wanting to leave. Anna I'm sure you're here, help me.
He looked up at her, making noises as he tried to speak.
Elsa took a guess on what he tried to say, "N-No thanks… Um… I'm saving my stomach. I promised my sister we could go try out a new ice cream store that recently opened..." Did you hear that Anna? If you're here save me and I'll get you ice cream.
Gus finished his giant bite giving a hearty laugh at her excuse to not eat his cooking. "Nonsense! How will my wife be big and strong if all ever she eats is frozen desserts? Eat, eat." He encouraged, scooping out some more food from his plate and sloshing it on top of hers to give her more.
Elsa shrunk back in her seat, attempting to disappear as Gus went back to scarfing his food while waiting for her to dig in too. She watched as her 'food' seemed to breathe as it bubbled. "Oh, did you hear that? I think my sister's calling me… I should get back…" Elsa stood up and smiled, slowly sliding away and ready to make a break for it.
Before she could, Gus stood up too, yanking her back by her hand. "Marvelous idea! Come, come we shall meet your dear sister together!"
"No, wait, that's not what I- Whoa!"
Gus dashed off in a random direction, firmly keeping hold of Elsa's hand.
Shoot... Elsa stumbled to keep up with him
Gus, it seemed, did not actually know the direction back to the castle. They stumbled away from his cabin for a good while, before coming to a meadow. Elsa tried to get him to stop, but he just kept going. It was only after they passed through the meadow for the fourth time did Elsa begin to realize he was lost.
"Um, Gus?" she called him.
"Yes, my love?"
"Don't call me that. Where are we?"
"Clearly we are in the woods, darling."
"Stop with the pet names."
"Cupcake?"
"No."
"Honey?"
"No."
"Sparkling, mystical love-goddess of my heart?"
"No. It's 'Queen Elsa...'"
Henry nodded in agreement, "Okay, pumpkin."
Elsa smacked her forehead.
"If you keep continuing to do that, you will bruise your pretty head," Gus warned.
Elsa did it again.
"Stop that!" He whined.
Elsa smirked and lifted her hand. Gus quickly grabbed her wrist.
"Ok that is enough of that," he said.
Elsa yanked her hand out of his grasp and crossed her arms. "I am the queen; I can do what I want. Now, I order you to take me home."
"I will do just that," Gus said, starting to walk the way they just came. He paused and looked around.
"Well?" Elsa said.
Gus swung his arms by his sides. Elsa raised an eyebrow.
"Let us find out how well you paid attention on the way here," Gus said. "Which direction do you think the castle is?"
"You're lost, aren't you?"
"No, a man like me is never lost!"
"A man like you?" Elsa raised an eyebrow.
"I am a woodsman; I always know where I am." He pounded his chest.
"You're lost. Great."
"I am not lost," he insisted.
"Then take me home." Elsa retorted.
"I need to know you are worthy of me. You must find your own way home." Gus dramatically turned his back to her.
Elsa shrugged and started to walk away.
"A good woodsman always knows where he is at, of course," Gus continued with his eyes closed, "but a good woodsman's wife must also always know where he is at. And where she is at. And where they are at together. They should always be together unless he is needing some time alone to be manly and do manly things with manly men like running through the woods and chasing animals and climbing trees and lifting heavy objects. You would not understand, for you are but a weak woman. But you are my weak woman and-"
Gus turned around, only to find an empty meadow before him. "Elsa?" he called. "Sparkling, mystical love-goddess of my heart?" He looked around, panicked. "Queen Elsa?" he tried, a little louder. "Elsaaaa?"
"What?" Elsa replied in the distance.
"Where did you go?" he said.
"I can't hear you! Come here!"
Gus followed the sound of her voice until he found her. "My love! Why did you walk away when I was talking to you?"
"Oh. I didn't know you were talking to me. I thought you just liked the sound of your own voice. My mistake." Elsa started walking again.
"Wait! Do not leave me alone again. Where are you going?"
"Back to the castle."
"But we are lost."
"You are lost," Elsa pointed out. "I know where we are. I know where to go. I pay attention to my surroundings." She continued on her way.
Gus whistled quietly. "What a woman," he dreamily muttered under his breath.
"Whelp, we're back now…"
"Ah yes! Like I have said! You were able to find your way back and you are worthy of my wife and I will-"
"Bye."
"Correct! Buy you a gift!" Gus snatched Elsa's wrist as she was headed home.
Elsa groaned and held her hand to her forehead as she tried to get rid of the headache Gus was giving her. He had dragged her to the shopping district, but she just wanted to leave and never see his face again. Was that too much to ask for? Apparently, yes, Elsa thought as Gus pulled her to another store.
"None of these shops are good enough!" Gus kept yelling. Elsa would apologize to the shopkeeper as Gus yanked her out again.
"Gus," she said after the seventh one, "I'm tired. My arm hurts. Let's just call it a day."
"No! We cannot! I have to find you the perfect gift and then I must give it to you and then I must set a day for us to be wed!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. No one isgetting married." Elsa yanked him back with enough force to get him to stop running.
Gus furiously shook his head. "Yes they are. Yes we are. You went to my cabin with me. I taught you to shoot. I fed you a delicious meal. We walked through a meadow. That means all we are having to do is to plan a ceremony and choose names for the children." He didn't hesitate to announce, "One shall be Gus Jr."
"No." Elsa blatantly retorted.
"We can name one Elsa Jr. too if you want."
"No, I mean we are not getting married." Elsa gritted her teeth trying to contain her irritation, "That is not all you have to do to get married! You have to love each other and get to know each other first! You should make sure you're compatible and both have similar views on raising children and decide where you want to live! And on top of everything, as royalty, I have to make sure any husband I choose is fit to rule. And that the country loves him too. If I were to choose you- which I am not- it would be a very long process."
Gus shook his head again to argue back, "But we would be so perfect together. You are beautiful and I am beautiful. I am strong and you are smart. Imagine how perfect our children would be!"
Please stop saying that, I never want to look at your face again, yet alone imagine our children, Elsa thought. Aloud, she said, "I am done talking about this. I am going to go home now, I'm going to have a long talk with my sister, and I'm going to hire new guards and I am not going to see you again."
Elsa tried to march away, but Gus reached out and pulled her back. "What are you-?!" Elsa tried to say, but Gus grabbed her head and smashed her lips to his.
"MMMPH!" Elsa said as she pushed back against him, struggling to break free out of alarm and terror. He didn't let go. Elsa panicked, squeezing her eyes shut and channeling some of her magic into her lips and hands, forcefully shoving him away.
"You fwoze my libs!" Gus screamed.
"You kissed me!" Elsa screamed back, unaware of how badly she was trembling as she held a hand over her mouth. Her eyes were widened with fear, unwilling to process what just happened. Elsa crouched to the ground, both hands over her mouth now as her body shook.
Why are kisses considered so great? There was absolutely nothing great about that. In fact it was revolting! Traumatizing even! Anna liked those?! Elsa never realized it before, but even the thought of her kissing someone made her sick. And now it had just happened. And she didn't know what to do.
"ELSA!" Another voice yelled to her.
Elsa looked up to see Anna leading about twenty guards down the street. Anna broke into a run and slid down next to Elsa as quick as a flash.
"Elsa?! Are you okay?!" Anna immediately questioned her, grabbing Elsa's head and checking for injuries.
"Y-Yes. No. I-I don't know…!" Elsa buried her face in her knees.
"What happened?" Anna whispered, soothingly patting her head.
"I just- date and- we went into the woods and shooting and food but then we got lost and he just kept talking about marriage and children and if we were worthy of each other and it was awful and we came back here and then shopping and-and I tried to go home and- and he kissed me!"
Anna took everything in, becoming cross seeing what harm this had caused her sister. But for the moment, Elsa didn't need anger, she needed comfort. "Shh, shh it's ok," Anna said, pulling Elsa closer. "Just slow down, ok? Take deep breaths," she comforted.
Elsa nodded and slowed down her breathing as best she could. "I'm sorry, Anna. I wanted to have a good time, I really did. But dating is awful." She vigorously rubbed her lips with her arm, trying to erase everything that happened from her memory.
Anna had to pause a moment to come to a conclusion that maybe dates just weren't Elsa's thing, "It's okay. You don't have to like it if you don't like it. Wait, wait that didn't make sense, I meant you don't have to like it if you do like it and-Wait no that doesn't work either-" Anna smiled hearing a small laugh. "It's okay." She repeated, finding that was all that she needed.
Elsa giggled again, calmed enough to ask her, "Hey, by the way, did you get my bird?" She asked to change the subject, wanting oh so desperately to forget what horror she had come across.
"I did!" Anna gave her a bright grin, understanding Elsa never wanted to repeat what just happened, so, she went along with the subject change, "How did you do that?"
Elsa smiled, proud of herself."I just told it to go find you. Where is it now?" Elsa was especially curious about how all her magic worked.
"It's gone." Anna shrugged. "It just burst through my window, flew into my face, and screamed, 'Elsa is in the woods with a creepy guy if she's not back by sunset go find her!' and then it kind of exploded into a bunch of snow, which then melted. Gerda is not happy with you, by the way. It was a very big mess to clean up."
"I'll deal with her later. For now, I'm just so glad you found me." She hugged Anna one more time.
"I'm glad I found you too. What are you doing with him, anyway?" Anna asked, using her chin to point to Gus who was whining over his cold mouth.
"What do you mean 'him'?" Elsa asked. She was starting to figure something out. "He was the guy you set me up with, wasn't he?"
Anna furrowed her eyebrows, "Nuh-uh! No way! He was the first person in the reject list! Why would I set you up with him?"
"I was wondering that myself, actually." She turned to face Gus, who was blowing into his hands and rubbing them on his lips, trying to thaw them. "Well, explain yourself," she commanded, clearly in no mood for dumb answers or to be reminded of his forced kissing.
"I jutht knew we were meant to be, tho when your sisthter rejected me I found out when you were habing your date and took hith thpot."
"Where's the guy I was supposed to go with?" Elsa asked cautiously.
"He'th back at hith houthe. I told him that the date with the queen wath canthlled becauth he wathn't manly enouth."
"That's a horrible thing to say!" Elsa gasped.
"I dunno, Elsa," Anna shrugged. "The other guy wasn't overly manly. Definitely not as manly as Kristoff." She trailed off, getting a dreamy look in her eyes.
Elsa blanched. "It doesn't matter," she said. "Let's just go home." Elsa motioned for the guards to follow, and she and Anna began the walk home without a second look back at Gus.
"Hey! Are you not going to unfweeze me?" Gus tried to shout, but found it was very hard when his lips were frozen. Elsa didn't seem to hear him. I guess I'll have to find a hot girl to kiss to thaw my lips, he thought.
Anna reassuringly patted Elsa on the shoulder, "Hey, don't worry about not liking dates, Elsa! Maybe your guy will come on his own and you won't even have to date! We'll stop the papers since they make you uncomfortable. I promise you though, you'll find your person one day."
Elsa nodded, "Thanks Anna," she mumbled, thinking about what Anna had just said. Her guy will come on his own? What if I don't want him to come? Elsa shook her head. She decided to push that thought aside for now, and deal with it in the morning. Being dragged around all day had exhausted her.