'We're all just pawns, Sara. I'm the crook, you're the assassin.'

Sara woke with a sudden jolt, leaping upright from her bed as if she had been electrocuted. Her breathing coming in quick, uncontrollable gasps, she moved over to her dresser to get a glass of water. The glass shook in her hand as she took a sip desperately, and her eyes glanced inevitably at the small metal ring on her finger.

She hadn't dreamed of him in a long time. She wasn't sure how long, maybe six months? Nine? Time seemed to have no meaning to the crewmembers of the Waverider now after so long gallivanting around a variety of different eras. They had been through a lot since that fateful day when Leonard Snart had blown up the Oculus at the Vanishing Point. So much had changed since then, and it was hardly a surprise – after all, it had been nearly two years.

It wasn't that it didn't hurt Sara anymore when she thought of Leonard, of what could have been, of how the two of them could have turned out together if he were still here. It was just that she had grown used to the pain, and let other things take precedence in her mind; being the new Captain of a time ship meant that she had to put duty first ahead of feelings.

But on the odd occasion, when she would find herself staring at a pack of cards, or rummaging through the wardrobes to find that familiar old parka, or mishearing a passer-by's voice as a harsh drawl, she would have to stop for a moment and catch a breath, and let herself be Her again…the old Sara who had let herself be vulnerable and fall for someone. And not just a random someone. A hero.

Hearing his voice like that in her dream tonight had seemed so vivid, and it shocked Sara just how in that moment, it had seemed like merely minutes when they had last spoken to each other. She could picture him so clearly now; the way he had leant on her bed, the way his smouldering blue eyes had gazed into hers, the sly smile on his handsome face when she'd challenged him for a kiss. Their last conversation was forever burned in her memory, and Sara kept going over in her head the way she had responded to him, questioning why on earth she had rebuffed him and walked away. She'd known deep down when he'd told that he had been thinking about a future for the two of them that she felt the same, and yet she had dismissed his advances, when really she should have kissed him there and then. Perhaps if he'd known there was a chance for those two, he wouldn't have put himself in that stupid situation and got himself killed. Not that all his life was about her – she knew that. Sara knew it had just been a blossoming attraction for both of them, but she also knew it could have gone somewhere real, somewhere true and wonderful, and she hated that she would never be able to experience Leonard in that way, that they never had a chance to try being together.

Sara sat back down on her bed and brushed her long golden hair out of her face, her breathing resumed to a normal pace now. She knew she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, and so in a sort of heavy acceptance Sara turned her full attention to that cheap metal ring on her finger. She began tapping it against the side of her bed and chuckled to herself, remembering how Leonard had annoyed her by doing that. He'd liked to annoy her, particularly during their card games, as it amused him to see her get so irritated. She hadn't removed Leonard's ring from her finger since the day she'd put it on, less than a week after his death. She could remember that day as if it were yesterday…

– May 2016 –

A knock made Sara look up from her bed; for one bizarre moment she thought it was Leonard leant against the door to her quarters, tilting his head and wiggling his eyebrows at her, but no, of course it wasn't. It was Mick, his face empty of all emotion.

'Time to leave,' was his greeting.

'We're here?' Sara murmured, sitting up in her bed.

'Back home,' Mick grunted, staring into space.

'Y'know, it's funny, I sort of see this place as my home now. Well, I did…' She trailed off sadly and looked at him, trying to work out what was going on beneath that glum, cold surface. 'How are you doing?'

Mick looked at her for the first time, and noticed that her eyes were bloodshot. 'How d'you think? My only friend is dead,' he replied, and Sara nodded.

'I'm sorry.'

'And how about you? You're the heartbreaker who left him there,' he grumbled, and Sara scowled at the accusative tone in his voice.

'Don't you dare place the blame on me, you know how stubborn he is – w-was,' she corrected herself shakily, getting to her feet. 'Once he decided to do it, then…there was nothing I could do. But don't make me feel worse about it than I already do.'

'Is that why you've been shut up in here all this time?' Mick asked, and Sara felt her bottom lip tremble.

'Well I'm not gonna be shut in here anymore. I am not that girl, Mick,' she said determinedly. 'I am not gonna mope around and cry and break…'

'No, you're not. 'Cause you know he wouldn't want that. He had the hots for you 'cause you're feisty, you're strong, and you're like no other woman he's ever met,' Mick said fiercely, shocking Sara, and he looked at his feet awkwardly. 'But you should know, if you need to cry, it doesn't make you weak. You're still the same strong woman. Just go to Kendra or Haircut though when you do, I can't deal with crying.'

Sara attempted a smile. 'Thanks, Mick. I can't believe we can't stop it from happening though. I think that's why I can't really accept it,' she said thoughtfully. 'I mean, we're in a time machine. It doesn't seem final when we can change the past.'

'But not all the past,' Mick grunted. 'You heard what Rip said.'

'Well yeah, but that didn't stop me throwing him a couple of punches,' Sara admitted bitterly, sinking back onto her bed. 'Stupid paradoxes and timelines and…God, why did Snart do it? Actually no, why did you do it? It was you he switched places with.'

'And you probably hate me for that, don't you? Almost as much as I hate myself,' Mick growled, and his voice broke. 'If it wasn't for me, he'd still be here.'

'I don't hate you, and you shouldn't either. He cared about you, and only you. Actually no, that's not true. He cared about all of us. He sacrificed himself just so we could all have free will and make our own choices,' Sara said, completely dazed, and she laughed without humour. 'I think I'd rather everything be pre-determined again if it meant we could have him back.'

'Me too. But he'd have hated it. He always liked the idea that he was in charge of his destiny, and he wanted to be in control of his future,' Mick said, and he snorted. 'Not that he had any plans for his future, but still.'

Sara's face faltered as Leonard's haunting words echoed through her mind…'I've started to wonder what the future might hold for me…and you…and me and you.' She was almost tempted to tell Mick what he had said, but then thought better of it. It had taken everything Leonard had in him to say those things, she knew it had, and it was better if it stayed between the two of them. Their own little secret.

Something in Sara's expression must have concerned Mick, for he took a step forward and asked, 'You okay?'

'I just wish he was here,' Sara replied simply, shrugging, and her eyes began to well up. 'I wanna play Gin and have a drink and…y'know, let my shield down, talk to him honestly for the first time, just me and him. Don't laugh at me for saying that, and don't you dare tell anyone on this ship about this conversation.'

Mick stared down pitifully at her for a moment, then felt around in his jacket pocket before pulling out the silver metal ring that Leonard had planted on him moments before the Oculus's destruction. 'Here.'

Sara had to stare at him for a few seconds before realising that he was holding out the ring to her. A 'lousy pinky ring', she had called it, when teasing Leonard about his Freeport Warehouse heist failure. That had been the only time she had touched his hand.

Sara swallowed. 'I can't take that, Mick. It's yours.'

'It's Snart's,' he corrected her.

'He gave it to you.'

'Yeah, because he didn't know you'd be coming after him. Sara, he knew I don't wear God damn rings. I hate rings,' Mick spat.

'But still, I…we weren't even that close,' Sara said dismissively, 'we were barely friends, I shouldn't-'

'Blondie, he loved you,' Mick cut over her sharply, and Sara's eyebrows shot up her forehead. 'I'm not saying in what way, I don't know. I don't even know if he knew. But he did, as much as it pisses me off saying it. You changed him into a guy with feelings, a guy who cared. It's gross but it's true. So I think it's only right that you keep this.'

Sara considered him for a moment, wondering where this man had come from and realising that she didn't really know the true Mick Rory at all, and then stood up and held out her hand to accept the ring. She slid it easily onto her finger, and found herself smiling; it was almost as if a part of Leonard was still with her.

'Thanks, Mick,' she said sincerely. 'It means a lot, really.'

Mick nodded and turned away, perhaps embarrassed by breaking his façade of being a heartless killer. 'You need a minute?' he said gruffly, making his way back over to the door.

'What for?' Sara said heavily, stroking the ring on her finger. 'He's gone, and he's not coming back. Hopefully it'll hit me soon…that way I can accept it. I just don't understand how we're supposed to drop our younger selves back off and then come back here to 2016 like none of it ever happened.'

'We just need to suck it up and get on with it,' Mick said roughly.

'But then what was it all for? Leonard…what did he die for?' Sara asked, praying internally that she could keep the tears from falling again.

'He died for us. He gave us our lives back. And he gave you something else as well,' Mick said, and she gave him a questioning look, 'a reminder that you're still capable of having a heart.'

Sara did not have much time to ponder that, however, nor to properly grieve her almost-lover, for when returning to her 2016 home she discovered that her sister Laurel had been murdered by Damien Darhk, and, as Rip sympathetically kept telling her, there was nothing she could do to stop it from happening. The grief, anger and guilt raged through her, removing any thought of Leonard or anyone else from her mind as she focussed purely on her beautiful sister and her psychotic murderer. Sara was furious. Not only that, she was broken. First her closest friend on this ship, and now her sister. It made her question everything – the point of being on a time ship, the purpose for this world, the outrageous unfairness in the tragedy that had happened to her and the people she loved, and the astounding fact that anyone could still believe in any kind of God. Leonard was one thing, but Laurel?

She sheltered in Leonard's personal quarters for a while as she tried to come to terms with Laurel's death, as it brought her comfort, and she kept wondering what he would say if he were still there to console her. Would he offer to put an arm around her? Would he give her a tissue and wipe away her tears? Would he drop the sarcastic quips and the witty remarks and the harsh drawl, and actually speak like a normal human being to her? Yet another totally different side to Leonard that she had not encountered, and now never would.

It took her many months to recover from Laurel's death, perhaps half a year, maybe more. But she had the Waverider to keep herself occupied, and, after Rip Hunter's temporary time displacement, a new role as Captain to keep her focussed on fixing the mess the Time Masters had left. Along the way of fixing various time aberrations, she met many people and even had a number of flings, the Queen of France and Guinevere in particular sticking out in her memory. She wasn't sure what the cause was for this behaviour but after all, there was nothing wrong with it. She was a young, single woman having fun, and it helped her move on. Leonard would not have wanted her to sit around and cry over what could have been. He would have wanted her to be happy.

And so for a while, though plagued by Damien Darhk and his ironically-titled 'Legion of Doom', Sara carried out the Waverider missions with grace, all the while enjoying life with the Legends and their new crew members. She felt like she had found a new family with these people, and sometimes it made her sad when her thoughts strayed to the lost crew member who had missed out on so much. She even felt guilty that she didn't talk about him. Mick never spoke about his former partner and he was never one to open up, and the others…well, in all honesty, for the others it hadn't been that much of a loss. Yes, it had been sad and devastating for them when Leonard had sacrificed himself, but none of them had really cared about him or gotten attached. Sara had suffered alone, and not suffered enough due to bottling up her grief for Leonard after Laurel's sudden murder. The only time she had come close to mentioning Leonard to the crew was when speaking to one of their new members, Nate, and warning him about the dangers of their missions on the Waverider.

'I can take care of myself,' Nate had been saying.

'Not out here you can't,' Sara had said firmly. 'Out here, even the strongest and the bravest of us die.'

He'd barely even noticed the way her voice almost broke. 'Like Captain Hunter?' he'd asked.

But Sara hadn't been able to bring herself to answer him. Rip had not been even on her mind; she knew that Rip was alive, she just knew it. But Leonard? He was definitely gone. And Nate and Amaya…they'd never even known him, or understood what an incredible hero he had become. It didn't help that she and Nate had had this conversation in the cargo bay: the very room where Sara and Leonard had liked to escape to in order to get some time away from the big crowd of the crew, either to play games with Leonard's pack of cards, or just to talk – this was before they had started going to each other's personal quarters. Sara could remember the first time they'd been in the cargo bay just the two of them, before their games and bonding…how he'd complimented her outfit…how he'd called her by her first name and tried to help her find her humanity and stop her from taking out Stein in Russia…

But there was no time for dwelling on the past, as Sara kept fiercely reminding herself. So she kept on, becoming a greater captain than even Rip had been as she and the Legends continued to travel through time and try to stop Damien Darhk's Legion from gaining the power they needed to change history for their best interests. She had been so focussed, so sure, so determined, as they faced endless dangers and turmoil and life-threatening decisions. But the only thing that shook her to her very core was when their mission diverted them to the World War One battlefield at the Somme in 1916, and she received a message from her crew members while she waited and commanded from the bridge in the Waverider.

'Sara, we have a problem,' came Ray's agitated voice on the coms.

Sara groaned, worried. 'What's happening now?' she demanded from the console.

'It's Snart,' was Mick's foreboding grunt of a reply, and something in his shocked voice made Sara's heart skip a beat, though not in a pleasant way.

'Wh-what d'you mean?' Sara asked, trying to maintain her calm, fierce persona.

'Captain Cold, scary guy with a gun that blasts out ice?' Nate yelled loudly, his terrified voice ringing out through the speakers in the bridge. 'He's here!'

'What do you mean?' Sara asked warily, her voice trembling slightly, 'he can't be here, he died-'

'Well clearly he didn't! He's alive!'