Right, this took me a ridiculous amount of time to write.

Bruce sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. All he really wanted to do was collapse at home, but there was still the damn drive home to get through first. He wished he'd installed an auto-drive in his normal car as well as the Batmobile.

Another sigh escaped him just as the lights went out and the elevator ground to a stop. Tensing, he was just about to pull out the paneling and rewire the entire thing himself, when he heard a scraping sound come from above.

He fell into a crouch when the top of the elevator opened and had a batarang in hand as the Joker leapt down into the small space with him.

"What the hell is going on?" Bruce demanded, straightening and glaring at his lover.

"I took down the buildings system and came to spend time with you!" the Joker spread his hands out, and if his face hadn't already been plastered into a grin, he would have been smiling ear to ear with the idea.

Bruce blinked at him for a moment. "We're thirty some stories above the city, in a glass elevator, and I was on my way home and—"

"But this is more romantic," the Joker pouted.

Bruce rubbed a hand over his face. "You need serious help."

"But you love me for that don't you? Or in spite of. Or just because you're a crazy bat, or because you can, or because I can or…" Throughout his speech, the Joker had been slinking closer until he was centimeters from Bruce's chest.

"Would you shut up?" Bruce asked. "I'm tired. I want to go hom—" The Joker launched himself the last distance and wrapped himself around Bruce.

"Go home later."

Bruce's head thudded back against the glass wall. "You can't be serious," he tried one more time.

"When am I ever not serious?" the Joker nuzzled against Bruce's neck, who signed one more time.

Alfred could feel the plate slipping from his fingers but was unable to stop it in time.

"Breaking News! Wayne Industries has lost power! The entire building has been shut down and it looks like someone is still trapped in the elevator on its way down! No, wait, it looks like it's two people! Our helicopter is trying to get closer to get you the latest breaking news… We're starting to be able to see the features of the trapped people… why, it looks like Bruce Wayne himself is in there! And the other is… Oh my god! The Joker is in there with him! Ohmigawd, what is going to happen to Gotham's favorite son? Where is Batman in our time of need? Oh my god, should we stop broadcasting live? This could get really ugly if Batman doesn't show up in time to save the day…" The reporter stopped dead after a minute. "Maybe we should stop broadcasting live anyway," she squeaked, as the camera close up showed the Joker shoving Bruce Wayne into the wall of the glass elevator where he proceeded to molest the other, sticking his hands up his shirt and his tongue into his mouth. Bruce didn't seem to be protesting.

Alfred calmly called up Dick and told him to keep Tim away from the TV as much as possible that night. As it was their movie night, he hoped they wouldn't ever actually turn the cable on, but stick to prerecorded videos.

"What's that light," Bruce moaned when the Joker finally gave him a chance to get his breath.

"Oh, that seems to be the news helicopter. Looks like they're filming," the Joker said, pausing long enough to look around Bruce's body.

"WHAT?" the other hollered. "They're filming this?"

"It does look like it," the Joker's grin actually became bigger. "We're on live television Bats, and this time you're at my mercy, not the other way around," he ran his tongue along Bruce's throat.

Bruce slugged him over the head.

Moments later Batman deposited the Joker in front of Arkham. Gordon stood there waiting for him. "I'm surprised the news didn't get you this time," he said. "Last I saw it was Bruce Wayne going at him. Where is Wayne anyway?"

"I dropped him back off at the manor. He's sleeping," Batman growled and wished it were true. "He's recovering from the antidote to the Joker poison."

Gordon nodded. "Is it just me, or is he not as threatening as he used to be?" he asked, looking out after the Joker as he was dragged away. "He just, he does crazy stuff, like that stunt with stealing all the flowers in Gotham or the time he stole the entire stock of chocolate out of that one store. But he's not killing people anymore. Even with Wayne, it looked like the guy stood a chance against him tonight."

Batman shrugged. "People change."

"Yeah, but people like him?"

Batman shrugged again. "Why not?"

When he finally got home, Bruce was greeted by Alfred, who looked a little frazzled around the edges. "How many stations is it running on?" he asked.

"All of them," Alfred replied.

Bruce swore on his way up the stairs only to find the Joker waiting for him at the top. "That didn't take long," he said, looking the other up and down. "I know I got distracted by Killer Croc and all, but still. At least pretend they have a chance of keeping you locked up."

"But," the Joker purred. "We didn't have a chance to finish what we started, and I am so inpatient."

Bruce snorted. "I will give you that."

The Joker grabbed him by the front of his robe and dragged him into the bedroom.