A/N: Thank you for your reviews! This update is a bit late, which is a bad sign :-( I think there are two chapters left till a happy ending.

Chapter 4

Our home was surrounded by a large garden in a ten thousand square meter area. Every morning when you woke up and looked out of the window, an immensity of greenness would say hi to you, every evening when you returned, serenity of nature was waiting for you behind the tower gate. This large, beautiful garden, where we had grown up, was divided in several zones with different themes, however, the area which Zero and I loved most was the fish pond near our room. We often came there to feed those fish or sat down on a wooden bench, looking at their lissome swimming. We used to feel jealous with them, because they could live an easy going life, no responsibilities, no ties to any regulations or obligations, freely indulging themselves in fondling water, forever enjoying peace. However, now I understood their freedom was limited in this garden pond, no responsibilities because they could never leave it, no regulations because they forgot where they had come from.

Just as other parts of the estate, our favorite area didn't change much. It was the same dark brown wooden bench which Aimi was sitting on, it was the old chip on the stone lantern where I had accidentally created several years before. Zero also stood contemplating this pond last year when he was pondering on the pureblood's confession. Today he brought his fiancee here to save her from the elders' rage after she requested to postpone their wedding. She didn't want to marry him now, and he, for years he knew he would get married one day, but never taken time to think about that person, because it wasn't his right to decide who she was. He hadn't bothered to find her out, though he always knew she was Aimi Takamiya. He hadn't paid attention to any other girls, he hadn't had sex with Kaname, I think it was his respect to Aimi, he was staying faithful to her, even before they became husband and wife, because she was going to be his woman, the person who would go with him till his last minute, the person who would commit suicide to follow him to death. So he could not make any mistake, he could not betray her.

Nevertheless, in their first meeting, she requested to put their wedding off, Zero wasn't showing his feeling, but if I were him, I would take it as a rejection. Aimi wasn't pretty, and didn't try to make herself pretty. Her face was totally natural with no trace of make-up, her clothes was decent with no trait to show off her slender figure. It was an extreme contrast with Kaname. This pureblood used luxury branded things all the times, and in the times he met Zero, I bet he doubled his efforts to prepare his looks, there was usually a phenomenal, dangerous seduction emitted from him. Just as people said a twenty year old girl was younger, yet less beautiful than a thirty year one, because you knew about yourself better when you grew older, and Kaname was forty five, and he had stopped aging, and his beauty was flawless. If you were used to looking at him, you might have a difficulty being with another.

Nevertheless, Aimi didn't aim to attract people by her appearance, she roused their affection in her delicate manners, in her sincere heart and her honesty. She hadn't been selected to be my brother's wife because of her looks, but for her origin. She was a copy of the Takamiya ancestress, one of the strongest hunters in history, and her strength had been proved since she was a child. Unfortunately, the HA valued men above women, they didn't want to train her, but hoped she would pass her great strength to her sons, that's why they had taken part in looking for her a suitable husband, whose strength could be her equal and guaranteed to produce powerful offspring. Therefore, this marriage wasn't only the problem between our two families. Unexpectedly, Aimi seemed to inherit the self reliance and independence from her ancestress as well, she didn't want to be a man's wife before learning how to stand on her own feet.

"Zero-san, please don't hate me! I want to postpone our wedding, but I would like to get to know you more. I want to date with you."

If you said vampires were more beautiful than humans because their ADN had been altered and only gathered the best traits of their family ancestors, then my brother was a pureblood by looks. I had never met a girl who passed by him without discreetly turning around for a better look, and if he unintentionally looked at someone, that person would definitely respond by the sweetest smile they could manage. Complimenting him sounded like complimenting myself as we shared the same appearance, however, Zero was more attractive with the confidence of a man who knew who he was, and the calmness of a man who controlled the situation he was in. Of course he had his weak points, and I wouldn't say he was an ideal husband material.

"Did you tell Kuran about your plan to postpone our wedding?"

"Yes, I told him in the second term of my first year in university, because it's related to the condition he made with me."

The second term started in September, which was around the time Kaname started pursuing Zero. They had been in touch before, but the pureblood usually limited their meetings. I thought due to his depression after his break-up, he wasn't ready to look for a new man. Then all of a sudden his attitude changed, he actively contacted my brother and asked him to go out, his eyes stopped avoiding him, and became wistful, each time they said good bye, he looked after his back longingly until Zero disappeared in a car or around a corner. I used to wonder which motivation had created that change of heart.

"What did he say?" My brother asked tentatively.

"He didn't support my decision." Aimi answered "He said nothing was more important than getting married and having children with my husband. I shouldn't do what I think, but listen to what my husband thinks." Her voice was even, though obviously she disagreed with his advice "Uncle Kuran has a kind heart, but he's in the same generation as our parents, he is an old-fashioned type."

"Despite that, he still sponsors for your school?"

"Yes, he said he would pay until I complete my degree, but he had a question." She smiled with the thinking of what she had been asked "He asked what if you fell for another person."

Their eyes met, my brother was startled as if Aimi had just caught him in the middle of a fishy act. That awkward instant gradually melted in the quietness of a sunny garden.

"And how did you answer?" He found his voice sound leisurely after he had masked his puzzlement.

"Then you fell for another person. " Aimi said honestly "Love is spontaneous, we can't force it to go the way we want. That's why I want to date with you, Zero-san! I want us to be in love if we get married."

"If we were married, would you follow me when I passed away?"

It shouldn't be the standard to choose your spouse, it shouldn't be the question before marriage, In a serious relationship, we talked about commitment, about future, about life, but we didn't talk about death. Nevertheless, my brother made it sound like it was his most concern. Aimi stared at him in disbelief. She had hoped our family were more understanding, she had probably hoped Zero was an open-minded gentleman. Apparently she was influenced by the modern opinions and wanted to break free from the ancient traditions her family were living with, before coming here she might be harboring a beautiful dream. Unfortunately, the truth about us wasn't like her hope. As my conclusion from what I had experienced, when you were in the wrong place, you would not meet the right person.

"Sorry, Aimi onee-chan! I understand your point of view, but I'm not the man you look forward to." Zero spoke out his refusal gently "I can only marry the person who is willing to comply with our strict customs."

ZxK

Since high school time, Zero had received many love confessions, yet he declined them all for the same reason: he would only marry the person who would comply with our customs, though he was the one who hated them most. After the death of our great aunt, he told me if only we woke up one day and all regulations and customs disappeared, we could go as far as we wanted to, we could be with whoever we loved, we could do what our heart desired, and we would return if only our free will wished so. Yet he had accepted one confession, so far I didn't think it was love, but it's probably the only feeling reigned in his unfilled heart. He took Kaname Kuran as his lover, yet they practically looked nothing like a couple. Let not talk about intimacy, they even had never laughed comfortably with each other. I wanted Zero to be happy in a real relationship, I wanted to see a sincere smile from his heart. But today he terminated his engagement with Aimi Takamiya. He wasn't wrong, our father would surely not accept a woman with modern opinions to be his daughter-in-law, and with my brother's principles, I wasn't surprised, however, it also meant his happy time remained unforeseen. He decided to go back to the hospital. The blood transfusion must have been finished now, he and Kaname really needed a talk, though I didn't expect them to go any further from where they were. They were two unmatched pieces by nature, having nothing in common, without true love, I couldn't find any reason for them to be together. Being fated was too obligatory for a reason. And how much did a vampire appreciate such conception? It would sound too hard for Kaname, however, the truth was he hadn't waited for his fated lover, but chose Ichijou when he wanted a boyfriend. He sponsored for Aimi's study, or in other words, he was totally fine with her being my brother's wife and had already given up on him. Just life unexpectedly changed, his relationship with Ichijou was broken, and he's now trying to take Zero back for himself.

The VIP hospital room was furnished as a luxury hotel room, emitting a warm, relaxing ambiance. You wouldn't realise you were in a hospital if not paying attention to the special-designed bed for the patient and some medical equipments around it. Bedsheet, flowers and fruits had been professionally changed and arranged, looking like they could never be fresher then how they were right now. Kaname embraced my brother as soon as he appeared at the door, as though he had glued his eyes at the entrance all the time since regaining consciousness. His slender body pressed against him, completely relied on him to support his balance, and I utterly forgot all criticisms which I was blathering about why Zero should break up with him. Sometimes your mind and your heart didn't get along well, and in some moments of your life, you suddenly found yourself undecisive as a fool.

"What is it, Kaname?" My brother seemed uncomfortable in such closeness and tenderly pushed him out.

"I was afraid you had abandoned me." The pureblood insisted to cling to him.

"What will you do if it happens?" Zero was determined, yet his push was thoughtfully light.

"I will wait for you." Kaname finally released him and stepped backward to give a decent distance between them.

"There's nothing good to be with me. I caused your injury." My brother pointed at his bandaged wrist.

"It will heal very fast." The pureblood murmured, not bothering to look at it, as if his serious wound was the last thing he cared for now, though all of us knew it would take months to be healed as the bracelet he had worn was one of the most powerful torturing tools we had.

"Why do you want me? Because I'm your fated lover?" Zero pulled down the handle of the pureblood's suitcase which he was tugging along from home, left it near the closed door, and came to take a seat at a creamy leather sofa, ignoring his lover's astonishment "I have heard from Ichijou and Aimi. Now I want to hear the whole story from you."

Stunned changed to nervous, at the end became resignedly accepted, Kaname tiptoed to the opposite seat, and gently sat down. He should have expected for this moment. My brother hadn't showed his interest in getting to know what he had been through, it might be a respect for his privacy, however, it could also be an unconcern, depended on how you viewed the issue. But today he had got shocking news that the pureblood used to like our father, then it turned out he was his fated lover, and finally he had set up a relation with Aimi and sponsored for her study. Despite of how their result was, it's time for everything to be cleared up.

"I will not hide anything from you, Zero! Anything you want to know, please ask." Kaname said, an elbow laid on the arm rest, his fingers entwined together.

"I've learned that you influenced Aimi's decision of studying medicine and paid for her tuition fees since high school. Your conditions were her studying hard and becoming my good wife."

"Chairman Cross said you were engaged with her since she was born. After completing your degree and the ten-year training period, you would marry her." The pureblood replied honestly "I met her when she was fifteen. She was a very innocent girl and hadn't known many people, but the high school and university environments would expose her to more relations and seductions. I wanted to keep her innocence by providing her a smooth path to a steady future, so she would be happy with what she was having and didn't feel the urge to take any risk to change her fate."

It was quite thoughtful. While Zero didn't bother to get to know his fiancee and assumed she was being taught about all those rules and customs, Kaname discreetly checked her out and watched over her to make sure she would be a suitable wife for his fated lover. In those years, I wouldn't imagine the pureblood had loved my brother, it was more like an act from a senior who wanted to give the good things to his junior.

"You had given me to her, then why did you confess to me?" Zero asked the question which I myself very much wished to know "Because you lost Ichijou?"

"You approached me." Kaname widened his look, then those charming eyes gradually softened, bewitched with pleasant memories "You are my fate, unfortunately, we didn't meet in a right time. I could have been satisfied helping you in silence. But you gave me a chance to be close to you, you showed me your kind heart, you made me crave for your love." Distress gloomily shaded his best attraction "I knew it would hurt, but I have fallen in love with you."

So love was out of the plan, perhaps he had struggled to quench his feeling for my brother, yet Aimi's hesitation to fulfill her fate had encouraged him to seize the opportunity. At that time he was alone, and Zero appeared to cheer up his broken heart, it was a psychological effect that he would fall for him. So far I would admit that he had tried hard to please my brother. If Zero was born in a normal family, and was a little more open-minded, they could have been happy together.

"Sorry, Kaname! I can't return your love." A refusal which should have been said a year before was finally delivered "My marriage has been settled, I will marry Aimi after she graduated from school. It isn't appropriate to continue with you. I want to be alone waiting for her. Soon I will be like Ichijou, faded in your heart. We only had a year, and not as many memories..."

It was a lie, yet Zero cleverly put the true part of his fiancee's suggestion to postpone their marriage, which the pureblood had known, to convince him that all he said was real. He had refused Aimi, and he was here to refuse Kaname. Why had I thought he would choose one between them? He didn't have to, both of them were not the type he's looking for, however, his sentence could never finish, because tears had dripped down on his lover's beautiful face. It was the first time I had seen Kaname crying in front of my brother, he probably didn't realise he was crying, or he had been holding them back? Tears pasted his long lashes, rolling down profusely. He said he knew it would hurt, indeed Zero didn't make him feel secure in this relationship, I had never seen him happy, yet he forced himself to keep going on. Two years ago Ichijou left him, now it's my brother's turn. I found myself hoping for an impossible thing, I hoped this break-up wouldn't devastate Kaname too badly, and next time he would meet someone who truly responded to his feelings.

"What would happen if you had another relationship beside your marriage?" The pureblood awkwardly used his sleeves to wipe off the rolling tears on his face.

"We never allow ourselves to get involved in a casual relationship or an adultery. A hunter will stay forever with his wife, unless she committed a sin, such as childlessness. In this case, he would... kill her by his own hands."

Yes, childlessness was a sin to a hunter's wife. It was strict to the point that if she got an accident or an illness which destroyed her reproductive ability, she would be left to death, unless she had already had at least a son and her husband didn't wish to have more children.

"How long to decide that a wife is childless?" Kaname strangely showed deep concern about this particular regulation.

"Three years."

That's why our mother had to delay her study to have us, and Aimi didn't want to take this same path. It wasn't easy for a girl to give up her future and bear the heavy responsibilities as a mother at the age of nineteen. Our mother had wanted to be a surgeon, she returned to the university when we started school, yet she could only study to be qualified as a registered nurse since unable to neglect her other duties to concentrate on a long term education.

"Could you give me these three years? I don't need anything more than how we have been." Kaname moved to my brother's side, desperately begged for his acceptance "I will comply with your custom when the time is up."

Zero gazed at him distressfully and angrily, then stood up pat, walking toward the closed door "Do you know what you are saying? It is not a joke! You could move on from a thirty year relationship with Ichijou, how can you be willing to end your life for me after three years? When it was really coming, I wouldn't want to see you breaking your words, and I had to hunt you down to execute our custom."

That's what I believed, also what my brother thought. In some issues we definitely shared the same mind. Zero might have spent more time to contemplate this relationship than I guessed. I assumed there were just "Kaname and Ichijou" and "Kaname", but somewhere during the last year my brother had started thinking about "Kaname and myself", and inconspicuously compared with the pureblood's ex-boyfriend. He said each individual should be independent and control their own life, yet I knew he was actually very traditional and possessive, he wanted to possess his lover as much as that person possessed him, he wanted his lover to die for him as much as he was willing to die for that person. He would not go through a break-up, he would not move on once truly in love. So for his type, Kaname was unsuitable.

"In thirty years, Ichijou never cared if I might catch the coldness, or how I ate my meals." Kaname whispered "I've only experienced being concerned in the last two years, since you did those things to me."

Zero was stunned, how had a forty three year old man not ever received those minor attentions from his long-term boyfriend who appeared very dedicated in public eyes? And the way Ichijou being highly worried for his new lover said he wasn't a cold-hearted type. Kaname wouldn't get sick, yet he was able to get hurt, and now I understood the warmth subtly glinted in his eyes each time Zero showed his concern.

"Asato Ichijou arranged for me to stay together with his grandson when I moved in. He even taught him about sex with another boy and urged him to do it with me."

"You let it happen."

"I thought he liked me." The pureblood's claret eyes imbrued in anxiety and loneliness as talking about his long gone childhood "I didn't have anyone else at that time, I hoped for someone to rely on, to belong to, to... be loved. Ichijou said he wanted to be my boyfriend, he promised to be with me forever."

Although our family were strict, we at least had them, had a place to call home, had our father's pride and expectations, had our mother's worries and concerns, had the choice to stay as my brother wished, or walk away as I did. Kaname had no choice, pureblood or not, he was a kid and the adults around him had made all arrangements which he must follow. Ichijou might be the only good thing that appeared to him, the single straw he was able to catch in the shoreless ocean. Asato Ichijou surely saw his huge benefit having a pureblood as his grandson's lover and made all arrangements to achieve it.

"When I was fifteen, one day I awoke in a strange bedroom, and found myself naked, covered in my own dried blood and... semen..." Kaname reduced his voice so low that it's hard to listen "Ichijou had given me a big dose of tranquilizer and... let Ichiou sleep with me."

"What? He let his grandfather sleep with his lover." Zero shouted furiously.

"Ichiou was dying. He's too old, his system couldn't digest normal blood anymore. It was the time all nobles would finally reach. He needed my blood to refresh his system, but drinking pure blood would lead to a consequence. The drinker would be sexually aroused and it could only be satisfied by having sex with his pure blood giver."

My brother had turned back and was facing his lover with full sympathy. We could never imagine something like that had ever happened in the pureblood's past, I thought he had had his happy time. Fifteen year old, being betrayed by the person he loved and being raped by his lover's grandfather, who could be able to cope with it and really got over it for the rest of their life?

"How did Ichijou compensate for it?"

"He said Ichiou was his only family, who had raised him since his parents passed away, and would let him inherit everything when he reached twenty. It was the only way he could fulfill his filial duty as Ichiou needed nothing else. Ichijou said if I loved him, he wanted me to continue giving my blood to his grandfather."

And continue having sex with him, Kaname didn't need to say that part out loud. Zero stared at him sternly "It is outrageous. You must have refused it."

"I...accepted." The pureblood shamefully admitted "He would have left me if I refused him. He agreed my request to give me tranquilizer each time, so I wasn't aware when Ichiou was doing it."

"It's a whore's attitude. Do you have no pride?" Sympathy had completely faded away, my brother bluntly spoke out his opinion. Perhaps it was too hard to call Kaname by that insulting word. I wouldn't say I had no pity, yet I couldn't agree with such compromise. If you truly loved someone, how could you share that person with someone else? And if you truly loved someone, how could you sleep with another one? No matter what the reason could be, I found it absurd. I wasn't a vampire, I didn't know the value of blood drinking, however, love making should be a sacred expression of love. I would question my lover's love if that person required me to accept such ridiculous thing. At the same time I understood the craziness when you desperately wanted to keep a relationship, you would blindly do whatever you thought might help to keep your lover.

"Ichijou gave me his first time, but I wasn't pure for him." Kaname stuttered his verification of the rumor we had heard for a long time "My uncle took my virginity. I had nothing to give Ichijou, I wouldn't mind being more tainted if it would keep him with me."

"Then how could you get over him if you had reached that far?"

It was another unanswered question which created a suspicion of the pureblood's feelings for my brother. I had always assumed he had thirty happy years with Ichijou, and Zero was merely a substitute after the noble left a void in his heart. As a drowning man, he was ready to grab whoever came to him at that time, and it happened to be my brother, a foolish admirer who believed a good friendship could help him get over a broken love.

"He figured out I had known about his affair with his fated lover, and wanted to kill me." Kaname yearningly searched for a glimmer of compassion in my brother's expression. He was apprehensive as revealing his unpleasant past, the pain written on his face wasn't from those previous wounds, but the fear of his current lover's reaction. Although they weren't really close, he should have known my brother enough to know his past was unacceptable to our morality, yet he was disclosing its full hideousness "The pill he gave me on that day wasn't tranquilizer, instead it attempted to weaken my strength, but it wasn't successful. He said he couldn't keep me alive because he was afraid I would harm Tsubasa Aiba. He was too young to understand how love was when we first met, and when he understood it, he couldn't fall for someone who was sleeping with his grandfather. He had to suffer in our relationship to have me maintained the arrangement, until he found an escape and experienced true love with his fate. I wanted to use his method to end our relationship too, but when he plunged the athame into me, I realised I didn't want to die in his hands. I wanted another chance, I wanted to find my true love, someone who I'm willing to die for."

Since the pill wasn't effective, Kaname could easily stop his ex-boyfriend once he changed his mind. However, Ichijou was still very alive, meaning the pureblood had forgiven his reckless action. Yesterday Ichijou even had the guts to ask him to operate on his lover. Kaname obviously still held a soft spot for him in his heart, despite of their upsetting memories. I thought he was shallow to get over a thirty year relationship within six months, as a matter of fact, he was generous.

"Now you're treating me as the second Ichijou, you tried all means to satisfy me, hoping to win my heart." I wasn't sure how my brother was affected from the pureblood's story, yet his voice had turned emotionless "If so, it's time to move on Kaname. You failed."

"No, I'm not a kid anymore, I'm a grown up man." The pureblood ran to my brother, forcefully turned his shoulders until their eyes met each other "I wanted you not because I didn't have any other choice or needed someone to rely on. I have everything to support you in your career both as a doctor and a hunter. I will facilitate your practice in my hospital and transmit all my knowledge and experiences to you. My loyal aristocrats have many relations with the senior hunters, I can ask them to arrange a position for you in the HA, so we can live together in Hokkaido. I even can pull the strings to canvass a re-election and assist you to the president chair." His look flared with passion, desire and also a hope, longing enough to burn up anything "I will follow all of your family customs. You tell me, I will learn them, and I will fully respect our three year time. The hunters have the constriction bracelets to constrain their vampire prisoners. Please put it on me, I think I can sustain it for three years, then you don't have to worry I will break my words."

It meant he recognised the one which Yamada-san had required him to wear wasn't a normal constriction bracelet, yet he still accepted it because Zero didn't tell him not to. However, Kaname Kuran wasn't a silly person who knew nothing but love. He could analyse things as sharply as he wanted, he could be calculated as carefully as he wanted. I didn't know he had taken time to ponder on how to support my brother's future, from sponsoring for Aimi's study to manipulating the HA to give him the president position, yet he prioritized love above anything else. He had always been acting as a little kitten in front of my brother, and for years I had misjudged him. Today I finally saw him in the glory of a pureblood, and the peak of his submission, it somehow made me like him. I wondered if Zero also felt the same...

"All men in our family were born with the Kiryuu crest as a birth mark." My brother replied his lover's intensity with another custom, he unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a natural mark of a red rose shining on his upper arm "It will vanish after our first love making, and if our wife was also a virgin, the Kiryuu crest will appear on her. It will not happen if one of us isn't pure."

Needn't to say any further, Kaname was mesmerised by the red rose blossoming proudly on my brother's skin. It would be the most sacred gift Zero could present to the person he loved, it was the reason he had never slept with him. How much the pureblood loved him, how far he could sacrifice for him, how many obstacles he was willing to take, all were meaningless, as Kaname wasn't a virgin, he was unable to receive this blessing gift from my brother. If they made love, the gift would be ruined.

At last Zero used it to refuse him. The pureblood hopelessly watched him walking away. Perhaps my brother would find someone who was traditional enough to get married to him and accepted to follow him to death, in an assumption that it would happen after their marriage had lasted many decades, but I didn't think he would find anyone else who was willing to trade their longevity for a three year time with him. Unexpectedly I trusted Kaname, trusted his words were sincere. Everyone wished for a long life, purebloods called their eternity a curse. Kaname must have met more than enough people, who wanted to build a relationship to take advantage of him, but he was offering his all support to one, and that person coldly declined him. If only Zero shared a part of wildness from me and cut off all relations with our family... I wondered if he could see it, Kaname needed him more than our family did. While they only cared about his strength, his achievements, what he could bring to them, the pureblood needed him simply for who he was.

ZxK

Our mother's room had a door which led to our room through a pine tree garden. In the old time, we often crawled out after Yamada-san putting us to bed, and sneaked in our mother's room to sleep together with her. We enjoyed her futon, which we thought was very big since we were kids, her warm blanket and her sweet sweet scent as any other children in this world. We used to follow mother from day to night, cried if not seeing her, competed for her attention by any crazy, childish things we could think about. When we turned ten, our custom forced us not to be so attached to our mother so that we could learn about self defence and independence, yet we still managed to sneak in her room at night.

Our mother looked older than a forty four year old woman, but those eyes remained the most affectionate look I had ever met, and that smile remained the warmest. Each day in this family wasn't easy to pass, every year her only joy just came back to visit her for a short time. She had been waiting in impatience until my brother finished his training and move back permanently. Now they were sitting alone together, she sadly suppressed a sigh, wanted to say something, but decided to keep it back. They stayed quiet for a while, my brother remained bowing his head before her, waiting for her reprimands, finally he uttered "Okaa-san, please forgive me."

We knew it wouldn't be a pleasant gathering since Zero informed he had a lover. Our mother must have been relieved when this issue was resolved pretty fast, our father didn't give him any punishment and he agreed to meet with uncle Takamiya's family. Unexpectedly, it resulted in another problem which would change his future, and nobody could predict whether it was for the better or the worse.

"How is Aimi now?" She asked.

"Kaito-san has come to pick her up." Zero answered "He is back and he supports her decision. He will defend her in front of uncle Takamiya."

"How can Kaito-kun support it? He must be the one who spoiled her."

I was also surprised to hear that. It's probably time to amend our ancient traditions, their existence was no longer beneficial for us, but made our lives miserable. I heard some senior hunters had raised this issue, however, it was disapproved by the majority, especially our father, he didn't wish to change any rules which our own ancestor had set up. He didn't care what the others felt, and for himself, I wouldn't waste time to imagine he could understand how love was to comprehend the feeling.

Zero stayed quiet, our mother continued "Your father has terminated the engagement. He was alone in his room since Takamiya-san and his wife left."

It was in my expectation, our father would never accept Aimi's 'unreasonable' request, even if she inherited the Takamiya ancestress's powers. Our father hadn't had to marry a daughter of a strong hunter to give birth to a son who successfully reached his supreme level at the age of twenty five. The Kiryuus were the strongest hunter line, in his opinion, it should have been the Takamiyas's honor to marry their daughter to our family. But I wouldn't regret for Aimi's decision, one day she would meet her real match, who cared about his origin if he would make her truly happy, and her children would have the parents who were sincerely in love with each other. Our father didn't love our mother, though I believed she was his best match for her tolerance and obedience. Unfortunately, he didn't appreciate them as assumed all women must be that way.

"...And Kaname Kuran..." Our mother was hesitant "Purebloods aren't honest to the different race."

"I have broken up with him." Zero replied quietly. We knew our parents wouldn't allow us to get into a relationship with vampires. It fact, it was weird to hear our father used to be friends with Ichijou, he hated all kinds of vampires, and never hid his passionate hatred. Since we were children, he had managed to transfer that loathing to us. Ironically, both of us got involved in them. I felt bad for Kaname, my brother had never defended him from our family's accusation. He was honest to Zero, he had exposed his scars, his shame, his pain, all his repugnant past for my brother's judgment, and he had been painfully rejected, even though he was willing to trade everything he had to be with him for three years.

"Did you... love him?"

It need not to ask, for all had been done, Kaname couldn't get a defence from my brother. When we were here, I wondered what the pureblood was doing. He didn't know anybody else in Okinawa, of course I wouldn't count Ichijou and his lover, Zero didn't only dump him, but dug into his worst wound and blamed him for something he was brutally robbed. Kaname was refused because he had lost his virginity. I wished I could walk out right away, to avoid hearing my brother's heartless answer, however, we were tied together, I must stay where he was, I must see what he did, I must hear what he said, I must live with his decisions.

"I love Kaname."

The statement was low, yet resolute. Our mother was dumbfounded, then her tears started falling as she caressed my brother's face, gently rose his chin up, cupping his cheeks, and held him still, her lips quivered, but no words spoken out. Was she disappointed? Did she consider it a disgrace? How many parents could accept their children to have a different sexual preference? I was stunned at my brother's calm expression. He was ready for our mother's reprimands, he admitted something which he had so denied in front of his lover, something I never expected to happen, something that made me question my understanding for him. How could we be together all the time and I had never seen a slight hint of his love? Since when did it come as he had always been the first to suggest ending their phone call, the first to stand up from their table, the first to turn away when they said good bye?

"Don't go with him. Please don't leave me, Zero! Don't..." Our mother cried, words became inarticulate as fear of history being repeated threatened to take her other son away from her. My heart ached as if it was being squeezed tightly. I would have been crying as well, if possible. I had left her and never come back. Now my brother was her last hope. What did I think when saying Zero should have cut off all relations with our family to go with Kaname? I forgot our mother, I didn't think about how she would feel. Her eyes were all red, fingers clutched to my brother desperately. Okaa-san, I'm sorry, I can never compensate for the sorrow I have caused to you.

"Okaa-san, I will not leave you." Zero's warm hands wrapped on her sweaty ones.

The night embraced their forlorn figures, salted their mournful moments, her trembling hands hastily grabbed his left arm, pulling up his sleeve to seek for the red rose, the evidence of his purity. It wasn't relief as she shakily fondled over our crest on his skin, fresh tears dripped down, she squeezed her eyes, whispering bitterly "My good son! It must be difficult for you."

If only I could have a physical form, even for a minute, I wanted to throw myself to our mother's embrace, or if there was a way to tell her I was also here, if I could do it for a second time, I would choose to remain by her side. Zero didn't cry, there was a type of people who cried without tears, because they swallowed all their tears back inside. Since the day I left, he continued our path alone, he lived up to our family's expectations, he trained hard to uphold our family's pride. Sometimes I thought he was cold-minded, yet he concealed his feelings from the bottom of his heart, where nobody could be able to see. He loved Kaname, regardless of how unbelievable it was, he didn't want the pureblood to find it out. Yes, why didn't I realise it when he said hunters didn't allow themselves to get involved in a casual relationship?

"I used to ask your father if Kuran liked him, because he seemed very fond of you. I couldn't explain his strange affection to you. Even your father couldn't differentiate you and Ichiru at that age, but he was never wrong. I was worried, he's a pureblood, I was worried he's after your blood."

Zero didn't tell our mother Kaname was his fated lover, or how they had settled their relationship in the hospital. It's probably his final resolve, probably the good ending for both of them, though it shattered both of their hearts. I would like to thank my brother for what he had done, tolerated and compensated for my irresponsibility. Why did I still feel he was actually awake when I crawled out on that night to pursue my own freedom? He had hugged me tightly and said he loved me in the afternoon. I had always looked forward to him to correct my wrong things, to fix my mistakes, to take the blame for my guilts. He had sacrificed his freedom to give me a chance to enjoy it. But I ended up dying in misery, leaving him with regret and loneliness. Because of me, he had to clip his own wings. Because of our mother, he had to give up on his love.

"I can't protect Kaname from our customs. I don't deserve him." His voice quivered as a soft whisper. Our mother's loving fingers tenderly stroked his silver hair. Okaa-san, we are forever kids in front of you, please embrace us...

- to be continued -

Posted: 11 Feb 2013

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