I awoke that morning to queasiness in my stomach. Knowing the routine feeling, I bolted upright from my bed, and rushed to the washroom. The vile taste remained in my mouth, even after constant brushing and mouth wash.

Walking down the stairs I could smell the wafting aroma of pancakes coming from the kitchen. My mouth watered. Entering the kitchen I found my mom dancing around in her bathrobe as she flipped two pancakes onto a plate. As she turned around to place the dish on the counter she greeted me with a 'Good Morning.'

"Morning mom."

"How are you sweetie? I heard the toilet flush upstairs a few times." Her face reflected concern, something I had seen her show more often.

"No, mom I'm fine. Just some morning sickness. I'm used to it."

She formed her mouth into a thin line, as she came around to the other side of the counter and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. At that moment Ashley sauntered in, rubbing the weariness from her eyes. Standing beside me, arms rested on the counter, she stared at the plate of pancakes before me.

"Mom, I hope you saved me a plate, because whenever Amy's around I end up skipping a meal 'cause she eats my share."

"Ashley!" My mother sniped at her, annoyance reflected easily.

"I'm kidding!" Her eyes widened and she placed a joking smile on her face. She seemed so much weirder these days. "So..."

"I'm fine." I replied, knowing that it was difficult for her to ask me questions.

"Good. By the way..."

"Yes?"

"Pass the syrup."

At that I giggled, giving her the syrup.

"Don't worry, Amy. I'm here for you-even if you eat all my food."

"Thanks, Ash."

As much as I knew those words 'I'm here for you' so well, and as much as I could feel the warmth and love carried to me as my mother wrapper her arms around —I couldn't help but feel so very alone.

--

I watched as Lauren walked away, not even giving me a sideways glance, as Madison followed giving me a gentle smile towards me. Some best friends. With a sigh I begrudgingly walked towards my locker. Returning to school had been a difficult transition, feeling the constant stares being thrown my way, but the gentle hand that always reached out for me made things easier.

"Hey, Amy."

"Hi, Ben." I engulfed him in a hug, as I placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"You're in a happier mood today." His eyes beamed with confusion, but I could make out the happiness deep within them.

"I'm just glad you're here."

"You say that a lot lately." He took my hand in his.

"'Cause I mean it."

"Mhmmm..." He smiled. "Here, let me take you French Horn."

"Thanks." I gave him my case, glad the weight was taken off of me.

As we walked hand in hand towards my Music Class, I could feel as if someone was intently watching me. Turning around I spotted Ricky in the corner of my eye, gazing at me as he held Adrian close to his side. She seemed to notice his distracted state and looked towards me. She glared. Turning away from them I kept my focus on Ben's profile. Compared to Ricky he was thinner, younger, and his hair was curlier. But compared to Ricky he was there for me.

"Well here's your class, my dear, sweet, fair maiden."

"Uh...thanks for walking me to class."

"Is something wrong? One second you're happy, now you seem kind of down."

"Mood swings."

"Ah. The difficulties of a pregnancy!" He pointed one finger to the sky as if about to say 'Eureka'.

"Can you not say it so loud?" I looked both ways, shifting my eyes from left to right, as I bit my bottom lip.

"Sorry..."

I sighed. "It's okay Ben." I gave him a smile, hoping to reassure him that I was fine.

"Well, I love you."

There he went. Those three words escaped his mouth, carrying emotions that seemed to make the ground shake and echo for miles. Hearing them made my stomach flutter, and my heart beat fast, but...why oh why couldn't I say them? Was it because of the cliché way people expected you to be when you had your first boyfriend? Was it because no one besides family had ever said that to me? Or was it because...

Suddenly the shrill sound of the bell stopped me from my train of thought. You always hear that expression saved by the bell—for once I lived it. Thank God. The sudden rush of kids running into class separated me and Ben—as I was pushed into the room. Looking out the door I could see his face, a wave of his hand just seen over the heads of a few kids. At least I didn't hurt him...

"Hurt who?"

At the sound of the familiar voice, I shuddered. Was I talking out loud?

"None of your business." I sniped at him.

"Ben right? Ah, he's tough. He has to be to put up with you." Ah the Ricky smirk formed across his lips—typical.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying—to know your first girlfriend is pregnant with another guy's baby—it must be tough for him."

"Shut up."

"I'm just saying..."

"Well then stop 'just saying', Ricky! All you ever do is talk big and say you're gonna do one thing, and do another! Just shut up!"

"Maybe it's not my fault..." he gripped tightly onto my arm, squeezing gently.

"Wh—..."

"Maybe it's because people like you, won't just let me do what I think I should do." His grip seemed to tighten.

"Maybe it's 'cause we don't trust you." A few tears were welling in my eyes—why the heck was I so emotional? Stupid hormones.

"Oh, people trust me. You, Amy, choose not to."

"Mr. Underwood...would you please unhand Miss Juergens. Class is starting."

Looking up at the teacher, it was then I realized this whole scene had unfolded in front of the class. By the time lunch started rumours would have circulated around the school. Whatever anyone chose to make up, most would believe. As Ricky's hand loosened from my arm, I hastily took my seat in class. A tear fell from my eye and I wiped it away. The teacher gave me a wary smile, and continued on with the lesson.

The class passed by quickly, and I hurriedly gathered my things—hoping to escape from the room and all the emotions that still lingered in the air.

As I retreated to the girl's washroom I found Adrian standing in front of the mirror, applying a thick layer of lipstick onto her lips. Upon seeing my reflection in her mirror, she stopped her actions and glared.

"Well...look what the cat dragged in. I can't believe you're still showing your face around here."

I stood still in the same spot, and stared at the tiled floor—hoping to distract myself with the ugly colours and scattered tissue.

"Look, Amy...I don't like you. Let me make that clear. I don't like how you got this whole school hyped up about you having Ricky's baby. But let's get this straight. It is not Ricky's baby, it is a baby. Ricky is all mine, you got it?" Her tone was harsh, something I was never exposed to.

"I don't want him."

"Good." She continued applying lipstick once again.

"But...I don't get why you like him, Adrian. Aren't you scared he'll...make you end up like this?"

She turned to face me. "Juergens, it's not my fault you were an unprepared slut."

"Adrian I'm sorry if I'm not experienced as you..."

"That's an understatement..." As I stared into the mirror, looking into her cold eyes, I seemed to recognize something I saw so often in others.

"Adrian...are you jealous?"

"Who? Me? You must be joking!" She scoffed.

"Are you afraid, I want to take him away? Do you really believe Ricky of all people wants to start taking responsibility for something in his life? Do you l-lov..."

"Shut up, and stop pretending like you know me Amy. And especially stop pretending that Ricky cares. Imagine it all you want—I see the way you look at him sometimes—he's off limits and doesn't want you! Fall for his lame act all you want, but Ricky will never be there for you. He's never cared for anyone, but himself, and he never will. Hold onto Ben and forget Ricky. Forget it ever happened!"

"This is still his fault, Adrian, and nothing can erase the fact that I'm pregnant!"

"Then, why is it that you didn't get an abortion?"

I remained silent, not responding to a question that seemed to have no answer to me as well.

"Why are you still carrying a piece of him around with you?"

Silence.

"Why is it that you still deny it's his sometimes, but then blame him for getting you pregnant in the first place?"

Silence.

"Okay, not like I want you to...but Amy, if it's his fault, and "his" baby, why won't you let him help you? Hmm? If you hate him so much for doing this to you, why won't you let him go through the pains of parenting? Why Amy, why?"

Her words dug deep into my mind, and I had no answer for her questions. Deciding to avoid it like I usually did, I ran out of the washroom—her distant laugh ringing through my ears. With my head hung I quickly ran through the halls, accidentally bumping into someone, causing me to fall backwards. Opening my eyes, I found a hand outstretched. It belonged to Grace Bowman.

"Oh Amy! I am so sorry, are you okay?" her gentle, perky voice soothed my tension and I gladly accepted her generosity.

"It's okay, I'm fine...but I really have to go." Retrieving my books, I rushed away, only to have a hand grab onto my arm. What was up with people today?

"Amy, wait. C-can I talk to you?"

I turned around to find Grace holding onto me, her eyes pleading with me for some time. I couldn't help but give in to her.

"Yes, Grace?" I tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

"I—I—I know this is none of my business, b-b-but I really think you should give Ricky a chance."

Huh? The one girl I hadn't ever shared a conversation with, is telling me to give The Ricky Underwood a chance? First Adrian now Grace?! What spell did he have these women under? Hearing a complete stranger try to influence my choices made my anger bubble up once again. "I'm glad you think so, but Grace, like you said. This is none of your business." I adjusted my shoulder bag on my shoulder, and prepared to walk away once again; only to have her grab onto my arm...again.

"Look," her voice quivered, "I know, he's done horrible things...and he isn't the best guy out there...I-I-I mean you have Ben and all. But think about your baby. Think about what you're doing to Ben! He shouldn't have to take responsibility for Ricky's actions. He's being tied down to something he wasn't involved in to begin with..."

"Don't judge Ben's choices—or our relationship!"

She ignored my outburst and continued. "And, well...I talk to Ricky...and I think, no, I know he's grown up and wants to take responsibility. For once in his life Amy, he finally has something to care about. Give the guy a chance."

By the end of her speech Grace's eyes were watering, filling with tears. And to be honest, I don't know if it was hormones or her speech that did it, but two tears fell from my eyes.

"Grace, do you...care for Ricky...or something?"

I seemed to have taken her by shock, for her eyes grew, and she remained silent for a while. A few seconds passed until she hung her head and smiled. Looking back up at me, her eyes sparked. "Of course I care for Ricky, I care for all my friends. He's someone different—and underneath all that bad boy facade, I know he's someone who, even if he denies it...wants someone to care for him."

"Grace, why should I believe that? Why should I believe him?"

"B-because...sometimes you don't have to see things to believe in them. People can surprise you. Sometimes all you need is faith." With her last words, she smiled, gave me a quick hug and walked away. Soon her blonde head disappeared with the crowd, and I was left standing in the middle of the hallway, tears falling from my eyes.