Chapter 4: The Apple and the Tree

I woke up with the headache still stubbornly camped out and no progress in the broken record of my mind. Sunlight shone cruelly through the windows and as I weighed the pros and cons (of which there were none of the latter) of black out curtains, I dragged myself from my bed towards the bathroom. Not only had an honest-to-god migraine taken up residence in my right temple (I'd never, ever had a migraine before yesterday), but my mouth was dry and gross from the rum. I ran my hand through my shock of red hair, working through a tangle that had come about during the night of tossing and turning and closed the door to the bathroom.

That kid Roxas had a lot to answer for, I decided. Namine was off scotch free because she hadn't actually thrown me into a bought of frenzied worry. But the cynical, demeaning little punk was another story. I didn't even know him and I was concerned, my mind running over and over the same stupid list of questions and non-answers I now wished I'd had the foresight to ask the night before. It was Namine, I decided. I was concerned about Namine's well being and since Roxas being her legal guardian kind of influenced this (meaning influenced in the way the sun kind of influences the rotation of the planets), it made sense that my head kept running around in circles.

But as soon as this touched my mind, I knew it wasn't the whole truth. The kid genuinely puzzled me, like that damn rubric's cube I could never finish no matter how hard I tried. I could tell he cared about Namine and her schooling, even though it was a bitter concern. The kid had guts, too, and didn't really seem to give a flying fuck what I thought, even though I was trying to make my best impress-ugh, forget it. I groaned and splashed cold water on my face. I took the time to run my hands through my hair a few more times in the mirror and then went back out and retrieved the cell phone, wondering why I hadn't needed to turn it off in the first place.

Oh. That's why. Shit.

Apparently, I had snoozed the damn thing to silence and now I had exactly seven minutes to be down at the bus stop. And it's Xigbar's shift and he's always early and if he doesn't stop to wait, I swear to God I'm going to kill him.

I stumbled and darted around, tugging on pants and the closest and least wrinkled shirt I could find, grabbed my bag, knocked over the coffee pot and a chair, found my keys after dumping the contents of the table on the ground, and went for the door. That's when it hit me. Quite literally, in fact.

My head jerked forward with a soft thump and I looked down to find the culprit a previously airborne pillow. I glanced up at the loft. Demyx glared down at me silently. "I'm sorry, okay?" I called, frustrated with the whole situation. Demyx deepened his glare. I rolled my eyes and rushed out the door.

The bastard didn't wait. I ran the whole way to the next bus stop. I was late to my first period class and the handful of students that remained were not about to let me forget it. The teacher across the hall also tattled on me and I was called to the principal's office for a lecture (read: rant) about responsibility during my break. This comforted me more than anything as he cared enough to call me down (I was almost convinced he wouldn't- guess we can't win 'em all). With nothing in my stomach, I approached my last class with deep, calming breaths and a terrible need to smoke. These kids didn't deserve my bad mood no matter how god awful they could be. I gave a quick introduction, redirected a few outcries and snide remarks (I had gotten very good at taking their jibes at the poets and poems I presented and turning them back around on them in a question that got them to think). I was a bit more snappish, but managed to temper it and get through the first part before I turned on a recording of a Charles Burkowski poem. Some of Burkowski's stuff was really dark and twisted; which, at this point, fit my mood perfectly.

**jump? I couldn't believe I'd let that kid get the upper hand on me. I had probably looked a fool and he most likely thought I was some kind of idiot. No different than that ridiculous jolly green giant on cans of sodden veggies. Except I was red. I jotted down a check mark for an absence with a bit too much zeal and moved on to the next name on the attendance list. We could be a pair- the Christmas giant duo, one jolly and green, the other grumpy and red. We'd be an absolute sensation at Christmas parties. I knocked off the next name, then paused, my ridiculous fantasies coming to a sudden, screeching halt. Namine was absent. I looked back up and, sure enough, her chair was empty. Well, that settles that.

By the end of school, I had a plan. I knew I wasn't being a very good teacher, my own coach in the licensure program had said that we were not to focus on one student to the exclusion of the others. But, what happened if it wasn't the student, but the brother-scratch that-legal guardian of the student? The first step in my plan then was to go pay my dear coach a visit.

"Mr. Lea. What a surprise. What can I do for you today?"

"Hey Marluxia, I stopped by for a chat."

"I can see that. Is this a question that can be answered in the doorway?"

I made a face.

"Probably not, then," he supplied. "Fine, come on in, Axel."

I walked into my mentor and coach's townhouse and instantly smiled. Marluxia was a high school science teacher and a certified plant fanatic. Plants of all different kinds covered every surface, vines draping over the fronts of overstuffed bookcases like natural curtains. The home was crowded with books and plants, but always seemed homey. I plopped down on a worn out couch and made myself thoroughly comfortable.

Marluxia rolled his eyes and smiled. "I just made tea, so I'm guessing I should make you a cup, too."

"Why, thank you. That would be lovely."

This earned a chuckle and he continued on his way to the kitchen. As soon as he had left though, the issue of why I had come returned. My features tightened and I began tapping my foot nervously. A few minutes later Marluxia returned with two steaming mugs. "I know I probably already know the answer to this, and you'll probably want to kill me for even asking, but any way I could have a smoke?"

He stopped in his tracks. "You're right. The answer's no. But it looks like I made a good choice on making you my anti-stress blend."

"You're a saint," I murmured and accepted the cup. Not being able to smoke was a blow, but Marluxia's herbal remedies were well known as near miraculous. It wasn't bad tasting either and I told him this.

"Of course it tastes good. If you drink something that makes you retch, that in and of itself causes its own stress. And that would be asinine," he finished and eased himself into the arm chair across from me. After a few moments of me savoring my tea, I looked up. Marluxia hadn't taken a sip yet- he was just staring at me intently. "So, what's the problem?"

"It shows that much, huh?"

"You look like hell."

"Thanks for the encouragement."

"Anytime. It's what I'm here for," he sighed and settled into a more comfortable position (probably knowing it was going to be awhile). "All right, I may regret this, but how's the teaching going?"

It was as if the keystone of a dam had been pulled out- all my frustrations, mostly centering on Roxas, came out. Whether or not they were understandable was another matter and one I wasn't entirely sure of myself. I just hoped he heard enough to give me some advice.

The sun was painting the light coming in through the expansive windows red and gold by the time I finished (but honestly, it had only been about an hour and a half). I was very aptly stretched on my back on the couch, my arms cushioning my head and my ankles way over the end. The connection to a therapy session was not lost on my mentor.

"Okay," he exhaled, setting his empty tea cup on a side table. I had three empty ones on the floor. "Well, now that I'm apparently your therapist, I guess it's my time to talk."

"I'm sorry," I grimaced.

"Don't be. Part of a teacher's job is sometimes being a counselor, which is comparable to a therapist," I heard him shift again. "Now for some good news and some bad news. The good news is that this kid isn't your student, but that's also the bad news. Relations with parents and, in this case, with the legal guardian can be rather touchy. It would be even touchier if Namine was a discipline problem and you had...a warranted reason to contact him outside of school. But, she isn't, and honestly, what she does with her life once she graduates is not so much your concern as what she does in your class. Teach her as best you can, Axel, teach her to think and to look at the world and herself with new eyes, but let her make her own decisions. Because if you start making decisions for her and her family, you're not helping anymore- you're hindering. With that said, let Roxas run things as he sees fit; you can't imagine what it's like to be in his shoes and it's not your job to swoop in and 'save' them because they might not need it."

He paused for a moment and I chewed on my lip, dreading his final statement. It wasn't what I was expecting though. "I would tell you to be professional and drop it, Axel, but I know it's not in you to do so and, honestly, you've already made your decision to get involved. My advice then? Tread softly. Life is usually much more a twisted, tangled mat of string on the floor than a neatly wrapped up ball. I also believe you're right about the iceberg metaphor, more right than you can even imagine."

I nodded. I thanked him for the tea, quickly washed out my cups, and left. He was right. I was making a very big deal out of only two interactions with this kid and there was no reason to come into this with the objective of 'saving' anyone. A few years ago, there was a time I couldn't even save myself for awhile. But, I was the only one who could do it; I had to dig myself out of the hole I resided in or risk sinking even further. With that, I took a breath of cool evening air, dug into my pocket, and pulled out the crumpled piece of paper with Namine's address on it.