Our Greatest Hits

Megamind was pacing rapidly. He had been pacing ever since Minion started cooking dinner in preparation for Roxanne's visit, which was over an hour ago. Because of his species' incredible endurance, he felt no physical strain, but mentally he was exhausted. He dreaded the hour Roxanne would arrive, because they needed to have a talk.

Roxanne, meanwhile, was regretting forcing Megamind to return Bernard's cell phone. Sure, it was the right thing to do, and, sure, she already had Megamind's replacement phone on her as she drove her rented blue Sebring to No-Longer-Evil Lair, but, damn, not being able to contact Megamind was proving to be a huge disadvantage. For one, she never specified when she was coming over for dinner, so, by consequence, she had no idea when Megamind and Minion were expecting her. After much consideration, she decided to arrive at the lair at six o'clock, which was also the time of the dinner reservation made by "Bernard" for their disastrous date three days ago. Luckily for her, Megamind too decided to rely on the same logic and was also expecting her to arrive at six.

No sooner did she arrive at No-Longer-Evil Lair that Roxanne was faced with another problem. Minion had moved the "Secret Entrance" doormat on Megamind's orders, and Roxanne could not for the life of her remember where the secret entrance had been. It looked like she was going to be late for dinner… again… if she was actually able to find the entrance at all, that is.

"Sir?" Minion asked cheerfully, bustling into the open area of the warehouse where Megamind was currently pacing. He was wearing his frilly pink "Kiss the Cook" apron, and had clearly just come from the kitchen. "Dinner's almost ready! Oh… sir? You might want to look at the monitors…."

Minion had a point. Being so deep in thought, Megamind had paid no attention to anything around him, including the security camera screens on the wall beside him, on which Roxanne's grandiosely enlarged face was currently featured as she stared in oblivion past the hidden cameras. Megamind finally stopped his pacing and looked at Roxanne.

"Doesn't she know how to get in?" he asked without facing Minion.

"She must've forgotten where the secret entrance is after I moved the mat," Minion replied.

"And why would you do that?" Megamind suddenly snapped, spinning around and taking a step towards Minion, actually making the latter retreat in fear.

"Because you told me to, sir -"

"HEROES OF METROCITY DO NOT HAVE SECRET ENTRANCES, MINION! OR ARE YOU SAYING I SHOULDN'T BE A HERO?"

"No, of course not, sir! I'll go let Miss Ritchi in right away, sir!"

"I'll do it," Megamind snapped and walked off in the direction of the exit, while Minion looked on, wide-eyed.

"Roxanne! Over here."

Roxanne turned around to see Megamind's head quite literally sticking out of the solid wall behind her.

"There you are!" she cried out, beaming. She ran towards him, hurtled through the holographic wall, and threw her arms around him in a tight embrace. After a few seconds, she withdrew and smiled at him warmly.

"You… seem to be in a good mood," Megamind said blankly.

"For the first time in days!" Roxanne replied cheerfully, walking past him into the lair. "Mmmm, something smells good!"

As they made their way towards the kitchen, Megamind realized Roxanne was quite right. Wafting through every vent of the warehouse came the delicious scent of mashed potatoes and meatloaf. It may or may not have been Megamind's design to have the ventilation system connect to the kitchen in exactly a way that would allow this.

"You're just in time for dinner, but -"

"Great! I'm starving. Oh, andI have a surprise for you! Look!" Roxanne exclaimed, whipping out Megamind's new cell phone from her pocket. "I figured you'd like a black one, but I thought you might want to attach the spikes yourself."

"Yes… black… and spikes… I'm an expert on that…." Megamind mumbled, taking the phone from Roxanne's hand and putting it in his pocket.

"I already set up a plan for it, too! I hope you like unlimited everything! All you have to do is pay the bill! It will be delivered here every month, or you can even pay online!"

"That's great, Roxanne. Thank you, but -"

"Miss Ritchi!" came Minion's excited voice from ahead as his grand figure rounded the corner of the dimly-lit corridor Megamind and Roxanne were currently walking down.

"Minion!" Roxanne cried out upon seeing him, and, within seconds, he too was greeted with a warm, albeit awkward, hug. It was awkward simply because Minion was so much bigger than Roxanne, which made it extremely hard for her to wrap her arms around him.

"How are you, Miss Ritchi?" Minion asked politely. "I hope being called into work this morning wasn't too sudden for you."

"On the contrary, Minion, it made everything fall into place! Besides, I am about to have dinner with my two favorite people in the world, and I couldn't be happier."

If a fish could blush, Minion would have been beet red just then. It was not even because Roxanne called him one of her best friends, nor because she complimented his cooking skills, but because she referred to him and Megamind as "people." To an alien, especially an alien fish, that meant a lot.

"The dinner table is set, sir," Minion said, addressing his master now. "Should we go ahead to the dining room now?"

"Yes," Roxanne replied with a cocky smile before Megamind could once again begin to protest.

Minion led the way further down the winding hallway, but, although she had spent the entire day here yesterday, Roxanne had absolutely no idea where they were going.

"I swear we have to be lost," she began warily, trying desperately to see through the thickening darkness, "because there is no way -"

Minion pressed on a part of seeming inconspicuous wall, and it swung open like a door. Bright light poured into the passageway, momentarily blinding Roxanne as Megamind and Minion led her through the opening and into the well-lit room beyond. As Roxanne regained the use of her eyes, Minion shut the door behind them. Except… it wasn't much of a door. It was a huge painting of a great white shark that hung… in the dining room.

"- this leads to the dining room," Roxanne finished, astounded. "Honestly, what's the point of having a secret passage that leads to the dining room?"

"Oh, I know!" Megamind cried out suddenly. "It was a stupid idea!"

Minion and Roxanne stared at him and then at each other, unsure of how to reply to his unprecedented outburst.

"I'll… bring in the food, sir," Minion said carefully, and hastily made his way out of the room, using the main door this time.

Megamind sat down heavily in one of the dining chairs and allowed himself to slouch onto the table, his head resting on top of his folded arms. Roxanne sat down in the chair beside him and searched his face for whatever was troubling him, but he avoided eye contact with her.

"This is a very beautiful dining set," she said finally, trying to lift his spirits, and she had reason. The set really was beautiful. The table and chairs were made of gorgeous rich mahogany, with exquisite designs of marine life crafted into the woodwork, and the dark red cushions on the chairs were embroidered with images of starfish, mollusks, and stingrays done in blue thread. On the walls hung stunning, though rather peculiar, paintings of different species of shark, from leopard to hammerhead, and from the ceiling descended a breathtaking chandelier, decorated with swaying crystal dolphins. Roxanne had been in this room at least three times yesterday, but she still could not quite get used to the… style.

"Thank you, Roxanne," Megamind replied. "It's just -"

"I'm back!" The main door swung open and Minion came bustling through, carrying in his hands a silver tray with three plates, two glasses, and a bottle of wine. He set the tray down in the middle of the table, placed Megamind and Roxanne's respective plates and glasses in front of them, poured them some wine, and finally went to sit down at the table with his own plate. "Bon appetit!" he exclaimed, very pleased with himself.

"Thank you, Minion," Roxanne said with a smile, but, upon observing the contents of Minion's plate, which were exclusively meatloaf, she asked, "but aren't you having any mashed potatoes? They look very delicious."

Minion looked positively flushed by the compliment, but he had to answer Roxanne's question. "See these teeth, Miss Ritchi?" he asked, pointing at his razor-sharp protruding lower teeth. "These be the teeth of a meat-eater, so no potatoes for me."

Roxanne couldn't help but giggle at Minion's endearingly simple explanation. "A toast, then," she said, lifting her glass, "to Minion, the best-natured, most intelligent, and sweetest ravenous carnivore I have ever met."

"You're too kind, Miss Ritchi," Minion replied, trying to hide his elation as Roxanne clinked Megamind's effortfully raised glass. Finally, it seemed, they were ready to eat.

Not much was said during the meal except for the expected compliments about the food and wine. Megamind, who was normally the biggest chatterbox out of the three, was unusually quiet and hardly touched his food. Minion and Roxanne, however, remained silent for their own reasons. Minion was simply too overjoyed to have a guest over and for the most part found himself speechless. Roxanne, on the other hand, was in a state of dreamful bliss from being with these people, not to mention being absorbed by the unusual way in which Minion ate. He used chopsticks and a knife on his meatloaf, cutting off pieces and carrying them to the top of this water-filled dome where a small access hatch in the glass allowed him to drop the meat into the water, so he could catch it in his mouth and eat it. It seemed like a lot of effort, but Minion never complained about it.

Once the meal was finished, Minion was thanked and flattered once again by Roxanne, after which he collected the dirty dishes and left the room with them. Before anything else could be done, Megamind stood up, looked around shiftily, then went and locked the door behind Minion. "Roxanne," he said, turning to look at her uncomfortably, "we need to talk."

"Yes?" she asked, a smile on her face and her hands folded in her lap in a relaxed manner.

"Ever since I saw you doing that piece with the mayor on TV this afternoon… I've come to realize something…."

"Really? I've come to realize something as well!"

"You… you have…?"

"I have, but you tell me first."

"No, you go first. I really need to know."

"Are you sure? I would feel bad for interrupting you, but… if you insist…"

"Of course I'm sure. I don't mind. Though I suppose I could go first…."

"I think you're perfect to be the new protector of Metro City!"

"I don't think I can be the new protector of Metrocity!"

They said this in perfect unison. While Roxanne did not make out what Megamind had said, Megamind understood what Roxanne said clearly.

"You… do?" he asked.

"Of course I do!" Roxanne exclaimed. "I must admit that, before today… I had my doubts, especially after I found out what you did to Bernard, but ever since the mayor announced that the reconstructed museum will be named after you, everything just felt… right, and that's when I knew. You're the one, Megamind. You're the new hero of Metro City."

She looked at him then, an expression of pure pride and adoration on her face, and he understood. He understood why she seemed so inattentive to his emotions ever since she got here. She was, simply put, blinded by her own love for him, and it made his heart skip a beat, both because he loved her just as intensely, but also because he was about to sorely disappoint her. Before he could say anything, however, there was a knock on the door and a yanking on the door handle.

"Sir, is everything alright in there?" came Minion's worried voice from the other side.

"Code, 'Not now, Minion!'" Megamind yelled back, frustrated.

"Oh…. Okay, if you say so, sir," Minion replied, and his retreating footsteps echoed down the hall.

"So what was it that you wanted to tell me?" Roxanne asked, still smiling warmly.

Megamind sighed, but he knew he had to tell her the truth, even if it was going to break her heart. If there was one thing he learned from being a villain, it was that lying only got you and everyone around you hurt.

"Roxanne, listen…. After the mayor made his announcement, I realized that I could never be Metrocity's new hero."

"… What?" Roxanne asked, her face falling. "Why?"

"Because I could never live up to what Metrocity wants me to be. I could never fill Metro Man's shoes. I could never be the symbol of the strong, unbreakable, immovable power that my statue would represent…." Megamind trailed off, overcome by shame.

"Megamind…" Roxanne began quietly, approaching him, "the city needs a hero, and it doesn't matter to it whether he has powers or whether he is bald and has the complexion of a popular primary colour." She lay a comforting hand on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile.

"You may think so, Roxanne, but what if you're wrong? I've been a disappointment as a villain my whole life, so I'll most likely be one as a hero…."

Roxanne squeezed his shoulder, searching his face, then backed off suddenly.

"You won't go back to being a villain, will you?" she asked cautiously.

"Oh, bad heavens, no - I will be neither hero nor villain. For now, I will just be myself, a nameless alien from a nameless planet with a nameless purpose."

"Then I understand," Roxanne said determinedly.

Now it was Megamind's turn to be surprised.

"You do…?" he asked.

"Whatever it is you are going through, I will be here to help you through it."

"You… will be?" Megamind stuttered, a small smile of pleasant disbelief appearing on his lips.

"Of course I will, you idiot. I- I-"

But before she could finish, Megamind had her face in his hands, and her arms were wrapped around his shoulders, and he was kissing her like he had only fantasized of kissing her before. After a few seconds, he pulled away and looked her straight in the eyes. "I love you," he said, no hesitation.

"Yes, that," she replied, and hugged him closely.

"Oh, Roxanne," Megamind cried out, pushing her away slightly so as to look her in the face, "I want to show you something!"

"Alright," Roxanne said with a giggle, "what is it?"

"It's in the TV room. Just follow me!"

With a smile, Megamind led Roxanne back to the hidden door which was the great white shark painting. One more time through the secret passage they went, the hallway growing darker and darker with every step they took, until suddenly they reached a dead end.

"M-Megamind, are we lost?" Roxanne asked, looking around desperately even though there was nothing around her but darkness.

"Of course not… or don't you trust me?" Megamind replied smugly, grasping at the wall in front of them as if in search of something.

"At the moment…?" Roxanne began, but just then Megamind found what he was looking for. It was a lever built into the side of the wall, and he gave it a hard pull. "WHOA!' Roxanne exclaimed as the floor beneath their feet gave a mighty jolt. In an effort to keep her balance, she grabbed onto Megamind's free hand, and he pulled her close. The floor beneath them was now descending steadily, and Roxanne realized that Megamind had led her into an elevator. After a minute or two, the elevator came to a stop, but no more secret passageways opened. Instead, Roxanne found herself surrounded by four solid walls, three concrete and one wooden. She squeezed Megamind's hand with an uncertain, "Are we there yet?"

"We most certainly are," Megamind replied, and gave the wooden wall, which was across from the one with the lever, a series of distinct knocks. Within seconds, the wall slid open, and Megamind and Roxanne stepped out of the elevator.

"The TV room," she remarked with an incredulous smile, looking even more incredulous upon seeing that the wooden "wall" was really the back of a cabinet filled with classical literature and old movies. "Tell me, and I'm not trying to offend you or anything, but are all of these secret doors and passageways really necessary?"

"Necessary?" Megamind asked, rapping the side of the cabinet with his knuckles in that same particular pattern, causing it to slide back into its usual position. "Not really. Totally awesome? Hell, yeah!"

"If you say so," Roxanne replied, shaking her head.

"Come on. Sit down on the sofa," Megamind said, leading Roxanne towards the centerpiece of the room. The sofa, which was made from black leather, looked ancient, and when Roxanne sat down on it, she literally sank into it a few inches. Its comfort level ironically did not match its looming design. If one were to disregard the sofa, compared to the dining room, the TV room looked almost normal. Sure, the giant black TV screen that hung on the wall in front of the sofa had spikes around the edges, and, sure, the navy carpeting not only covered the entire floor, but also the walls and the ceiling, but nevertheless everything else looked more or less like what you would find in the average study - the cabinet, an armchair here and there, a floor lamp in every corner, and a desk beside the main door with a computer that somehow managed to look both hi-tech and old school at the same time. Its monitor showed feeds from security cameras around the warehouse, one of which currently featured Minion playing a game of fetch with the Spiderbot.

"Are we going to watch a movie?" Roxanne asked, knowing full well this was the only logical answer and that she was doubtlessly going to be wrong.

"Did you really think I would subject you to something as absolutely predictable as that?" Megamind asked with a mischievous smile. "No, Roxanne, this -" He made a move towards the cabinet, but stopped in his tracks when he realized that he and Roxanne were still holding hands. Their eyes met for a split second, then each looked away in flattered embarrassment. Roxanne let Megamind's fingers slip out of her own, and Megamind felt blood rushing to his cheeks, causing him to feel even more embarrassed. He cleared his throat and proceeded towards the cabinet. "- this… is far more engaging." He took a CD case from the top shelf of the cabinet. "I worked on it all of this morning, before, you know, the mayor made his announcement and I lost it…." He brought the disk over to the TV. "This is us. This is every single moment we ever spent together captured on film. It's our greatest hits." He slid the disk into the Blu-ray player built into the TV, and joined Roxanne on the sofa.

"Every single moment we ever spent together?" Roxanne asked, mildly skeptical.

"Everything that was captured on film, yes," Megamind replied as he made himself comfortable. "News reports, security camera feeds, Spybot footage - you name it!"

Roxanne, to Megamind's biggest disappointment, suddenly laughed. "You realize what we're about to watch is a marathon of you fighting and losing to Metro Man over and over and over again?"

"Yes, but none of that matters… now that we have each other."

Roxanne stopped laughing, but she didn't say anything either. Instead, she took off her shoes and brought her feet up from the floor, bending her legs at the knees and letting them rest to her side. She leaned back into the sofa, crossing one arm with Megamind's and letting her head rest on his shoulder. Megamind froze on the spot, unable to move in fear of it spoiling the moment, but Roxanne urged him to play the video. Reluctantly and most carefully, he clapped his hands twice to turn off the lights in the room, then hit play on the Blu-ray remote which lay on the arm on the sofa, and the video began.

The first time he kidnapped her happened a couple of years after they both graduated high school. By that time, everybody had fallen into the roles that grew to define them - Megamind the villain, Roxanne the nosy reporter who just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, and Metro Man the hero who would always come to her rescue. Megamind had just adopted the abandoned warehouse as his Evil Lair and worked out a prototype of the Forget-Me Spray. To Megamind, it sounded like the perfect plan. Roxanne was just about to conduct the interview that would cement her career as a reporter - a live question and answer session with Metro Man outside of City Hall - and Megamind was going to kidnap her right from in front of Metro Man's nose on national television. The invisible motorcycle did its job, providing both cover and a menacing racket which allowed Minion to snatch up Roxanne while Megamind drove. The Forget-Me Spray prototype worked pretty well, too… at first… though Megamind soon found out that its effects wore off much faster on humans than on Minionfish. Roxanne woke up and put up such a fight that Megamind nearly lost control of the bike. Eventually, it became necessary to put her under again, which Megamind chose to do in a back alley in the vicinity of his lair. The only problem became that Megamind had to hold her down while Minion sprayed, and since their faces were so close to each other for the procedure, one strategically-timed duck from Roxanne caused Megamind to get a face-full of spray instead. Had that been the worst of it, perhaps Minion might have been able to hold Roxanne down long enough to spray her, and then get both her and Megamind back to the Evil Lair, but, alas, that was when Metro Man descended from the sky like a tasseled white eagle, followed by about five camera crews in vans and helicopters.

Megamind paused the video. "I think you should know that when I finally woke up, Minion and I were back in jail. He had to fill me in on the details of my grand failure, and yet that very night I was already planning my next ingenious escape!"

"You're one to complain! You have no idea how terrified I was when you first kidnapped me… at least until you got sprayed in the face. That's when it became just kind of funny."

"Oh, I beg to differ! I'm pretty sure I still have an imprint of your high-heeled shoe where it collided with the back of my skull when you kicked me while I was driving a motorcycle."

"Can you blame me? I thought I was about to die!"

"So did I after getting kicked in the head!"

"Just press play!"

"Okay!"

Megamind let the video continue playing, and they settled down again long enough to watch news footage of what happened after Metro Man made his majestic appearance. The first thing he did was smash Megamind's now visible bike to pieces, then used the tailpipe as a makeshift bond to tie Minion's robotic arms behind his back. Once Minion was lying immobilized on the ground, Metro Man attended to Roxanne. He helped her to her feet to the gathering crowd's excited cheering, then led her to the ambulance which had just arrived. The camera panned back to show Megamind and Minion lying in the middle of the debris of their smashed-up motorbike - the footage was about to be over, but… Megamind paused the video again.

"What now?" Roxanne asked, getting annoyed. "I'm actually really enjoying this!"

"What was that look you gave?"

"What look?"

Megamind rewound the video back a few seconds, to the moment when the camera panned away from Metro Man and Roxanne to himself and Minion, then paused it once more. "Look at yourself in the background. You just turned around and looked at something. What were you looking at?"

"Well…" Roxanne began, squinting, "... I'm pretty sure I was looking at you guys, actually."

"But what were you thinking just then? What were you feeling?"

"Just then?" Roxanne asked with a thoughtful sigh. "Well, I guess at that moment I realized just how futile your efforts to one-up Metro Man were and always will be. I realized you were never going to win, which meant you were never going to hurt me. I think from that moment on I was no longer afraid of you."

"So… you were feeling pity then?"

"Maybe a little bit, yes, but I also couldn't help but admire you for trying, you know?"

"So, you admired me… all this time?"

"Yes, I suppose so."

"Oh, Roxanne! To be admired was all I ever wanted, all I ever strived for. If you had told me this back then, we could have been together for years. Why didn't you tell me?"

"How was I supposed to know whether I would change you or just tickle your overactive ego? Besides, what if you rejected me? It wasn't that simple, you know."

"Trust me, Roxanne. It wasn't simple for me either."

There was a pause, but neither of them could tell whether it was sweet or awkward. "Press play?" Roxanne begged.

Megamind did, and many similar stories proceeded to grace the TV screen. Though the settings and circumstances varied, the plot and characters remained the same. Megamind kidnapped Roxanne and placed her in some mortal danger, then Metro Man came to the rescue and battled Megamind. Unquestionably, something in Megamind's ingenious plan went wrong, allowing Metro Man save Roxanne's life at the last minute and throw Megamind back in jail. As the years went by, Megamind's plans grew more and more diabolical, and Roxanne came closer and closer to losing her life. Sure, the Equestrinator and Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Kittens were a complete disaster, but other plans, sometimes literally, had Roxanne hanging on by a hair. As each new plan showed Roxanne nearer and nearer to death, Megamind couldn't help but make comments like, "One more second and you would've been confetti!" or, "Had that tiger shark only been a little bit hungrier, you would've been fish chum!" or, "Funny how that coal crusher was just about to crush your head, isn't it?"

Finally, Roxanne had had enough of his behavior. She grabbed the TV remote out of his hand and paused the consecutive video of her about to die a painfully gruesome death. "Okay, Iknow I said I knew you would never manage to hurt me, but didn't you for a second think you might? I mean surely you wanted your plans to succeed, which by consequence meant… you wanted to kill me."

"Oh… Roxanne," Megamind began, going rose in the face with guilt and embarrassment, "I could never hurt you."

"Really? Because I can think of plenty examples to the contrary."

"I know you can, Roxanne, but there are so many things you don't know -"

"Yeah? Like what?" Roxanne snapped, still skeptical.

"Like the fact that every single bomb I ever strapped onto you would never have gone off… or the fact that I fed Tigey five times the morning I kidnapped you… or that, whenever you were slowly approaching imminent danger, whatever it was which was going to hurt you would've jammed a second before harming you."

"You're… not kidding, are you?"

"I'd never take chances when it comes to your safety, Roxanne. Let me continue the video and you'll see."

Roxanne nodded and Megamind let the video play again. What it currently featured was Roxanne being slowly but surely descended head-first into a vat of boiling acid as Megamind looked on smugly from a platform by its side. Beside him was a wall of security camera monitors, on which could be seen Metro Man's flashing shape as he desperately tried to find his way to Roxanne through the maze that was the abandoned chemical plant. Around every corner, he met an invention of Megamind's that would try to hinder his progress and be destroyed within seconds. Roxanne was getting closer and closer to the noxious, churning liquid, but it seemed Metro Man still had a way to go.

"Watch me now," Megamind said to Roxanne, pointing at himself on the TV screen.

Roxanne watched. She watched Megamind glance at the security screens and then at his hostage, watched his facial expression go from that of smugness to undeniable concern, and then watched him take a remote out his pocket, press down on a button, then look back at his contraption. Immediately, Roxanne noticed her descent into the acid slow down to snail pace. She would have never realized it at the time, but it was so obvious to her now.

"You slowed me down to give Metro Man enough time to get to me…."

"And I would've stopped you if I had to."

"Megamind?" Roxanne asked, turning to look him in the eyes.

"Yes?" he replied, preparing for the worst.

"You are the biggest idiot I have ever met," she said, but she was smiling.

Megamind breathed a sigh of relief and smiled back. He wanted to turn back to the television, but he felt Roxanne's arm tighten against his, and her fingers intertwine with his own. She reached out and touched his face with her free hand, gently running her fingers along his cheekbone and down to his chin. His breath caught at the unexpected contact, but Roxanne continued to caress his face, lightly brushing her fingertips against his cheek and temple, until finally her fingers came to rest on his ear. Megamind's eyes widened at her touch, and Roxanne realized she had discovered a sensitive spot of his. She massaged his earlobe, watching his face as he exhaled and shut his eyes in pleasure. Making full use of her discovery, Roxanne leaned in and kissed the outside of his ear, then ran her tongue down the inside until she was back at the earlobe, which she tugged at gently with her teeth. She felt Megamind give in to her completely and smiled in satisfaction as he rested his forehead on her shoulder and bit his lower lip. She gave him one more kiss on the ear, then kissed his cheekbone, his cheek, and finally his lips. She kissed him slowly and thoroughly, savoring every second, and after several minutes Megamind finally seemed to return to his senses. He put his other arm to good use, placing it behind Roxanne's neck and pulling her closer, lower, until he was laying down on the sofa and she was laying on top of him. Aroused by the change in position, Roxanne changed her kissing technique to rougher, more passionate, and Megamind soon found her tongue frequenting his mouth. At first, he was at a complete loss of how to respond, but it was not long before he discovered his own tongue moving against and caressing hers. In the heat of the moment, they had completely forgotten the TV was still on in the background, and yet through the mess of it all they had still managed to keep one hand holding the other's.

After a while, they felt themselves begin to tire, and their kisses became softer and gentler. By that time, the video had almost finished playing, and what was being shown now was Megamind's final kidnapping of Roxanne - the plan that changed everything. It was getting late, and thoughts of sleep were slowly beginning to take over both of their minds. Eventually, they relaxed on the sofa, Roxanne laying her head down on Megamind's chest, to watch the final few minutes of the video. On the screen was security camera footage of Megamind trying to elicit fear in tied-up Roxanne through the use of his most terrifying weapons of destruction, and Roxanne having none of it.

"You have no idea how hard I was trying to impress you just then," Megamind said sleepily.

"Impress me?" Roxanne replied with a yawn. "I would've rather guessed you were trying to embarrass yourself!"

"I would embarrass myself for you any time, temptress," Megamind said, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

Roxanne felt her eyelids drooping and yawned again. "Remember when I told you heroes aren't born, they're made?"

"Of course I do," Megamind replied, yawning as well.

"Well, I was wrong. If you weren't born a hero, nothing in this world can make you one."

"Yes, I know. That's why I can't be Metrocity's protector."

"But you can, Megamind… because you were born to be a hero."

As was often with him, a single thought triggered a complex idea in Megamind's brain. His whole body gave a jolt, and he nearly went to get up, but then remembered Roxanne's still form resting on top of him. She was ever so delightfully warm - much warmer than his own species - and her breathing was soft and steady.

"I love you, Blue," she mumbled, and after several minutes Megamind realized she had fallen asleep.

Roxanne woke up eight hours later, alone. Megamind had been replaced by a fluffy ocean-blue pillow, and there was a green comforter covering her. Feeling hurt by being abandoned so, she got off of the sofa and stomped towards the main door, planning on running rampant through the lair until she found Megamind and told him off. She had almost made it to the door when Minion burst through, carrying a tray laden with coffee and various foodstuffs. He set it down on the computer desk beside the door.

"Good morning, Miss Ritchi!" he exclaimed, beaming from fin to fin. "I saw you were up and brought you breakfast, as per Megamind's orders!"

"Minion, where's Meg- Wait. How did you know I was up?"

"I saw it on the security screens, of course," Minion replied innocently, still smiling.

"What?" Roxanne hissed, looking around the room frantically."You mean there's a camera in here? You've been watching me sleep?"

"Among other things."

"Among other things?" Roxanne cried out, but then decided she simply was not feeling up to discussing her personal life with a fish in a gorilla suit. "Minion, where's Megamind?"

"Oh, he's in his super secret drafting room -"

Roxanne headed for the door once again, seeing as she was pretty sure the room she had passed the other day with a sign on the door that said "Super Secret Drafting Room" was exactly what Minion was talking about, but Minion refused to let her through.

"- but he's not allowing anybody in, not even me," he finished.

"Minion, get out of my way," Roxanne ordered, shoving past him and finally getting out into the hallway. She headed past mounted robot busts in the direction she remembered the drafting room being in.

"Megamind won't be happy, you know!" Minion shouted, hurrying after her.

"Good," Roxanne replied, unabashed. She rounded a couple of corners and then reached a staircase, which she began to climb.

"He won't be happy with me," Minion cried out, still running after her. "I was supposed to keep you out!"

Roxanne wasn't listening anymore. She had reached the second floor of the warehouse, and had emerged into yet another narrow hallway, this one made even narrower by the leaning stacks of diagrams, designs, and notes along either wall. She knew she was in the right place, and, surely enough, she was soon standing face-to-face with a door labeled "Super Secret Drafting Room." Yet, as soon as she reached for the handle, the door swung open and Megamind emerged, immediately closing the door behind him.

"Roxanne!" he exclaimed, smiling insanely and giving her cheeks a quick squeeze. "Guess what?"

"What?" Roxanne snapped.

"You were wrong!"

"What?" Roxanne asked, her guard suddenly lowered by honest confusion.

"You were wrong about what you said last night, about what it takes to be a hero!"

"I know that, Megamind. I admitted it."

"No, you were wrong about being wrong."

"So… I was right?"

"No, you were wrong."

"… You lost me."

"I wasn't born a hero, Roxanne, but I can sure as hell make myself one! It'll just take a lot of work… a lot… of work…."

"… You're going to be a hero? That's… that's… great!" Roxanne stammered, all feelings of anger dissipating into relief.

"You know, in about a month or so. As I said, there's a lot I need to do to prepare -"

"A month!" Roxanne screeched, anger bubbling to the surface again. "The city needs you now, Megamind! Have you seen the state it's in? Buildings need to be rebuilt, roads repaved, bridges reconstructed! It can't wait an entire month for that! Besides, what could you possibly need to do that would take so long?"

"Oh, that's a secret until the big day - the opening of my museum, but don't you worry! I'll just send out the Brainbots in the meantime."

"The… Brainbots?"

"Sure! I've got literally hundreds of thousands of them! Most are back in storage, but there's no reason not to bring them out again. They'll clean up and rebuild the city while I work. I'll even let you keep one!"

"Um, I don't think I need a -" Roxanne began to protest, but Megamind suddenly gave out a long, high-pitched whistle. For several seconds, nothing seemed to happen, but then Roxanne heard it, emanating from a large vent in the wall above her head, a faint banging and humming, gradually getting louder and closer. A couple more seconds, and the grate covering the vent opening was practically blown out of the wall as a stream of about fifty Brainbots barreled in, filling the already narrow hallway up to the ceiling.

"Bowg, bowg, bowg, bowg, bowg?" each Brainbot inquired, fixing its eye on Megamind expectantly.

Megamind looked back at them thoughtfully, scratching his chin. "You, Forty-Two, come here!" he finally yelled out, pointing his finger at the only pink-colored Brainbot in the group. The robot flew up to him confidently, blinking its eye. "Go with that foxy young lady over there," Megamind said, motioning at Roxanne. "She is your master now." The Brainbot's eye widened in surprise, but two seconds later it had thrown itself into Roxanne's arms, nearly knocking her off of her feet in its enthusiasm. "She really seems to like you, Roxanne!" Megamind remarked cheerfully.

Roxanne stared at the Brainbot in her arms, noticing its pink coloration, then at the rest of the Brainbots, who were exclusively blue. "She…?" Roxanne asked, now staring at Megamind. "Is… is this the only female Brainbot?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because that's just kind of… tragic."

"Don't look at me! She was Minion's idea! He said we should have a Brainbot who's less vicious and who would keep the others in check! Though, I must admit, she was very useful in that regard."

"Yeah, she's…" Roxanne said, trying to ignore the Brainbot as it was now rubbing its half-closed eye against her arm and making a low rumbling sound, "… nice. Does she have a name?"

"Of course she does. I called her by it."

"That was a number, not a name."

"But all my Brainbots go by number. For example, there's Four, Eight, Fifteen, Sixteen, Twenty-Three, and, of course, Forty-Two," Megamind said, pointing out each Brainbot as he called out its number.

"You can remember all of their numbers?"

"Of course."

"But didn't you say you had hundreds of thousands of them?"

"Yeah?"

"… Never mind. Thanks for the Brainbot."

"You're most welcome; now, back to business - MINION!" Megamind bellowed at his sidekick, who had been sulking by the door to the staircase this whole time. Minion came forward, looking undeniably guilty. "I thought I told you to bring Miss Ritchi breakfast and keep her out of here."

"I did bring her breakfast, but -"

"No buts! I'm never asking you to make her breakfast again!"

Minion gasped. "You wouldn't," he said, his lower lip beginning to tremble.

"Oh, I would," Megamind replied.

"Stop it, both of you!' Roxanne exclaimed. "Megamind, will you forgive Minion if I let him feed me breakfast?"

"I suppose..."

"Good. Minion, take me back to the TV room."

"Yes, ma'am!" Minion replied, a grateful smile on his face.

"Ciao, ciao, then," Megamind said, waving them off and disappearing back into the Super Secret Drafting Room.

"So how long has he been like that?" Roxanne asked Minion as they headed back towards the staircase.

"Since around the time you fell asleep last night," Minion replied.

"Oh. He has a plan, Minion, and I don't like it."

"Trust me, Miss Ritchi. I know exactly what you mean."