New Year's Dance
When Sarek invited Amanda to attend the Terran Embassy's New Year's celebration, she wasn't sure what to expect. She had been surprised and pleased at his invitation, even given his logical rationale for it. "There will be representatives from the other embassies now testing the translator," he had said. "This event provides an opportunity to learn of their opinions unofficially, which you might find useful."
With warmth in her eyes, she had replied, "I appreciate that, Sarek. I would be honored to be your guest."
"It is I who am honored," he had returned, his soft voice oddly incongruous with his businesslike manner, before he strode away.
This was the first public function they had officially attended together. Reporters snapped holopics of them along with numerous other attendees, so she didn't think anything of it. It was, of course, a festive event, and Amanda enjoyed seeing many colleagues from her Universal Translator work. Sarek also introduced her to numerous diplomats and Federation officials as he had done at the Vulcan Embassy.
Later, as she suspected might happen, the members of the Vulcan delegation stood to the side when the dance music began after dinner.
"Care to dance?" Amanda asked lightly.
"I am unfamiliar with Terran dance forms," came Sarek's somber reply.
"And you, a diplomat!" she exclaimed. "Well, we'll have to fix that. Maybe not here and now, however," she added, as he stiffened almost imperceptibly. Since when have I learned to read his tiny tells?
"I do not understand the purpose of this practice at a diplomatic event," he stated flatly.
"Dance exists as a social custom for many reasons. In this context, it facilitates people mixing and communicating in a new way, it's a refreshing change after an evening of standing and sitting, and it's fun."
"Fun?" He quirked a sceptical brow at her.
"Yes, fun." She met his challenging gaze with amusement. "As in entertaining, diverting, recreational. You should try it some time."
"When I have leisure time I have numerous pursuits that are more productive than gyrating to Terran music."
Amanda was about to retort when a Federation Linguistics colleague with whom she'd been chatting earlier appeared. "Amanda, would you like to dance?"
Amanda glanced at Sarek. "Sure, Jeff. Sarek, do you mind?"
"I do not," he replied gravely.
As they walked to the dance floor the music changed from traditional ballroom to a more pulsing rhythm. "Now that's more like it!" Jeff exclaimed as they began to move to the rhythmic beat.
Sarek remained with his delegation for a few minutes. He overheard Soran and T'Vey comment on the 'uncontrolled' nature of the current type of dance, and his eyes strayed back to Amanda. They widened ever so slightly as he watched her twist and undulate to the music's insistent beat. She obviously possesses good muscle tone. The result was not so much uncontrolled in her case, he thought, as distracting…
He pulled his eyes away, deciding that this would be a logical time to conclude the conversations regarding the Centauri Accord that he had begun earlier with Terran Ambassador Alfonso Singh and the Federation attorney general, Arne Stewart. The Earth government had raised some issues regarding definitions of trade terms that Vulcan found objectionable, and he was in the midst of expeditiously removing those obstacles.
When he looked up again a few minutes later, Sarek saw that Amanda was dancing with someone new. He heard her laugh, and saw the beads of sweat collecting along her collarbone. He found it very hard to look away, and he did not like the fact that she was not with him.
He heard Singh's voice next to him. "Bring a beautiful young woman like that to an event like this, and it is a constant battle to keep her attention." His Terran counterpart nodded at him knowingly, and Sarek had the disconcerting thought that the other ambassador had been observing Amanda a bit too closely for his taste. Sarek maintained his impassive expression while he cleared his mind of the illogical thoughts that abruptly flooded in. At the next break in the music, however, he was at Amanda's side with a drink and an offer to walk outside.
"Whew!" Amanda said, fanning herself as they walked. "It's hot on the dance floor. Thank you for the drink," she said gratefully, looking up at him.
Sarek was gratified to have enticed her away from the dancing. He also noticed how her slightly flushed complexion enhanced her aesthetic appeal. Driving away the disturbing thoughts yet again he re-focused on what she was saying.
"… so I imagine you have to put up with an awful lot of illogical celebrations like this as part of your diplomatic duties?"
"Attending a large number of social functions does 'come with the territory,' so to speak. And as to whether they are logical or illogical, it is of no matter. What to one serves no purpose is sacred to another. It is important to appreciate our differences."
She smiled at him appreciatively. "Yes, I suppose that's true." She was about to say something else when movement and sound from inside caught her attention. "Oh look!" she exclaimed. "It's almost midnight – time for the balloon drop!"
As they moved back toward the crowd inside, Amanda paused at the door, looking back up at Sarek. "Perhaps we should watch from here. It's going to be very loud."
"Ah, yes," he replied, recalling previous such events. He inclined his head. "Thank you." He also appreciated remaining in semi-privacy with her.
Sure enough, the countdown to midnight began with the crowd chanting louder and louder until the hour struck and cacophony ensued, guests cheering, noisemakers blasting and music blaring. Many people hugged or clapped one another on the back, and couples kissed.
Sarek wondered again what it would be like to kiss Amanda. Such an action would be most inappropriate in public, however. He remained still, ostensibly watching the festivities inside. Amanda stole a sideways glance at Sarek. She'd like to give him a kiss, even if only the cheek – purely to celebrate the New Year's tradition, of course. But she thought the better of it, and remained where she was.
Metal
It was after eleven p.m. when Sarek walked down the long flight of stairs from his office. He was about to turn toward the personal quarters section when he detected a faint but persistent sound, a vibration really, coming from further below. Curious, he continued down to the ground floor. The vibration resolved itself into a regular, heavy beat; it was evidently a form of music, although one he was unfamiliar with. His ears picked out the dominant sounds of percussion, heavy stringed instruments, and harsh-sounding vocals. Following the sound took him to the Universal Translator group's offices, and by the time he reached them, it was quite loud. He entered the work area, and saw that only the lights in Amanda's office were lit.
As he drew closer, he could see her inside, forcefully re-arranging piles of books, PADDs and data chips, as well as larger boxes, all while jerking her head to the strident, ear-splitting music, mouthing some of the words. It was obviously not a soothing experience; her jaw was clenched and she looked both angry and sad.
Sarek did not wish to intrude upon a private moment yet he was concerned for her wellbeing. He moved into the open doorway and Amanda jumped in surprise. "Sarek!" she exclaimed, scattering a stack of data chips on the floor as she hastily attempted to turn down the music from her PADD.
Sarek stepped into her office. "I did not intend to startle you, Amanda, although you undoubtedly did not hear my approach. My apologies. Are you well?"
She took in his concerned expression and smiled wanly. "I'm physically fine, yes. I'm sorry for the loud music. I thought everyone was gone for the evening. It's a genre that I haven't shared with you – it tends to be best experienced when it's almost deafening."
Sarek merely tilted his head, waiting for more, and she relented. When had he gotten so good at reading what I don't say? She took a deep breath and said quietly, "My parents died six years ago tonight."
He had not known she had suffered such a loss. "You are grieving then?" he asked gently.
"I guess I am. Although," she added, looking around, "this isn't a typical Human grieving ritual."
"That fact does not matter, if what you do helps you find peace." He declared solemnly, "I grieve with thee."
"Thank you, Sarek; I appreciate that," Amanda responded, grateful for his words. Then she shrugged. "I've done something like this for the past six years. I'm not sure it's helping me find peace, though. More likely this is how I express my anger at the universe for taking them from me." She was silent for a long minute, struggling with unshed tears. "I'm sorry," she finished awkwardly.
"It is I who intruded," he answered. "Would you prefer to be alone at this time?"
"No, actually," Amanda replied honestly. "But I don't want to keep you—"
"Sometimes the best way we can remember those who have gone before us is to recall them to others," Sarek offered. "Would you care to tell me about your parents?"
Amanda gave him her first real smile of the evening. For a man who could be so austere and reserved in public, he also could be astonishingly sensitive. "I'd like that very much. Can I get you some tea?"
"Tea would be acceptable."
She talked of her parents until the early morning, when he insisted on driving her home.
ooo
Later, as she reflected on that late night, Amanda realized that he had breached a wall that no one else in recent memory had. Amanda had a history of building walls around herself for protection, as ancient cities used to do. She had a history of building walls because she also had a very sad history of people close to her leaving: her parents when she was sixteen; her grandparents before that; and her first love in high school, who left because he wasn't able to handle her turmoil at the loss of her parents.
So she built walls, a Human Jericho, to keep enough distance to minimize getting hurt. Amanda was always very sociable with friends, colleagues and dates; she was simply very cautious about who she let in to see her true self and its vulnerabilities.
Sarek was different from everyone else she had encountered. As their friendship evolved, she came to perceive him as someone who would neither invade her privacy uninvited nor judge without understanding. And she believed he wouldn't do so only to then leave, physically or otherwise. Perhaps this was due to his Vulcan sensibilities, or perhaps it was simply Sarek himself. But in any case, Amanda found him…safe. She allowed him in.