Philadelphia, PA

11:47 pm (the next night)

The show was over. Deacon wished Philly a fond farewell. The final note had been sung, the crowd was leaving the stadium, and he was packing up his guitar. It had been a great show for both Rayna and Juliette and once again "Wrong Song" was the highlight of the night. Early tomorrow morning the tour would hit the road. Deacon breathed a sigh of relief. It felt good to be another city down, another city closer to Nashville and to Lynn. He had successfully made it through one more day…only 6 weeks left to go. Damn that was a long time. A long time to be on the road, but more than that it was a long time to actively avoid Rayna. He wished that he hadn't seen her fly by him yesterday afternoon upset and out of sorts; wished that he could go back to floating on his cloud of happiness and oblivion, but that was not going to happen. She looked better this evening, but he knew more so than anyone that Rayna was a professional and would have checked whatever was bothering her at the stage door only to pick it up again when the show was over.

Seeing her yesterday had been the equivalent of opening Pandora's box. There was no way, after realizing she was upset and hurting, that he could turn a blind eye. Regardless of whatever baggage they shared between them, Deacon loved and cared for Rayna. It was a plain and simple fact. As justified as he felt in moving on and as excited as he was about the possibility of a new future, he could not stand to see her in pain. He had to check on her and assure himself that she would be okay.

Deacon lingered backstage a while longer, fighting his conflicting emotions. On one hand he was extremely hesitant to get within ten feet of Rayna for fear that her proximity would endanger his newfound happiness. This was why he had waited another 24 hours before checking on her. On the other hand, now that he had seen her, really seen her, he wanted to talk to her. He had been so out of touch with reality for the better part of the past month that he was just now realizing that she was still dealing with a lot. She was figuring out how to co-parent with Teddy, trying to find some semblance of normalcy at home with the girls…she must be feeling guilty about being back out on the road…and she was still dealing with the press. On top of all that something else was wrong. He had no idea what it was, but there again he had a sixth sense when it came to Rayna and his gut was telling him and that something else was wrong. Yes, he needed to check back in…it was just that getting too close could potentially undo everything. He was happy right now with someone else. Lynn was healing some of the pieces of his heart that Rayna had left jagged and bleeding.

In all honesty he was as much to blame for the sorry state of his heart as Rayna. They had spent the last thirteen years being in a relationship without actually being in a relationship. Neither of them had been able to cut their emotional ties to one another. It had been their saving grace and their damnation. They had been stuck, unable to give in and unable to let go; feelings left unspoken, needs gone unmet. Almost every glance held a hidden meaning…pain is what it all boiled down to. Exquisite pain. It was exhausting and exhilarating at the same time and had become his new normal, but now he was experiencing happiness without the hurting. Rayna was the love of his life and she always would be, but he deserved to be happy with someone else, someone who was willing to take him as he was and love him openly and freely. Rayna had tried finding love with someone else…it hadn't mattered then how he felt about it…all three of them (Teddy included) had paid penance for that decision, but this relationship with Lynn was different. They were in a different place in their lives. He had been alone a long time waiting for Rayna…she had had someone to go home to at night, someone to share her bed, someone to raise her children with…she had picked someone other than him to build a life with…now that he had found someone wasn't he due the same courtesy?

He let out a huge sigh and closed the guitar case. Backstage had cleared out and the ground crew was preparing to disassemble the stage, getting the arena ready for its next venue. The entourage had already headed back to the hotel, which meant that he had a little bit more time to make a game plan before approaching Rayna. This was going to be on his terms. He was going to call the shots. He would check in without getting too close or too involved. He could be supportive yet distant. They could coexist peacefully and he could still be happy with Lynn.

The cool night air was refreshing and he took a few deep breaths enjoying the quiet solitude. After a minute he shifted the guitar case to his left hand and raised his right to hail a cab. He had procrastinated enough that the van driving the band and some of the instruments back to the hotel had already left. He was okay with that. He felt the fluttering of anxiety in his stomach as a cab pulled to the curb. This cab was going to take him back to the hotel, back to Rayna.

He wished he could muster up some anger. It would decrease his vulnerability. Rayna was reactive to his anger and was always quick to armor herself. Arguing and bickering was a safe language for them. Like music it was a very intimate form communication, but it also created distance and had allowed them to walk that fine line of saying what they needed/wanted to say without actually saying it.

The cab ride was too short. In no time at all he was staring at the front doors of the hotel lobby. He paid the driver, grabbed the worn handle of the guitar, and got out of the cab. He took another deep breath.

There was no one on the elevator. As soon as he pushed the button, he heard the ding of the bell and the doors slid open. He made a quick pit stop by his room to drop off the guitar. His phone was heavy in his pocket as he once again stepped onto the elevator. He desperately wanted to call Lynn, to hear her voice, to get some reassurance, but decided against it. He was a grown man damn it and was more than capable of having an adult conversation. If he wanted to be with Lynn and wanted this new future then that's what he was going to have. No one was pressuring him to do anything. All he was doing was talking to Rayna. How many times had he done that before…hundreds of thousands. It was just talking. Why was he getting so worked up? It was ridiculous. It wasn't like she was going to seduce him…nine times out of ten, based on their recent history; she would try to shut him out. If that was to happen at least he could rest easy knowing that he had done his due diligence in checking up on her. Things were going to be fine. He was going to be happy. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Deacon stepped out into the hallway and made a left.

"This will be fine. She's gonna be fine and I'm gonna be fine."

He ran through his pep talk one final time as he approached her hotel room door and raised his hand to knock.

TBC

(Sorry this one is a little short, but it's definitely necessary...building up to the big talk!)