OKAY! I would like to get a few words in before you all attack me.
Yes, I don't have as many of my readers for this story as my others, but this one was the first on my list.
SO CALM DOWN FOR MY SAKE, PLEASE? D:
Various reasons have prevented me from posting.
I'll start with the first. The week after my last posted chapters, I had standardized testing. I'm sure you've all had it. For two hours every day you sit and bubble in answers in a test book on questions for Science, History, Math, English, Reading, etc. I won't tell you the test, because then you'll know where I live (creepy) but it lasted a week and a half /
And every night of that week our teachers gave us packets and websites to do review on, and my mother made me do them. I had virtually no time.
And then, the next week, I had a mock trial modeled after a book I read in English called To Kill A Mockingbird. Where as all of my friends had a jury position and got to play board games for the week, I was a defense attorney. I will not go into detail, but I was on the wrong side. It was a trail that was over right and wrong, and I firmly disbelieved against my side of the story. However, despite my opinion, I had to gather nonexistent evidence from the meager book, and come up with good arguments. My next week was spent searching in and out of websites and books trying to figure how to do my job properly. In the end, I lost, for obvious reasons.
Throughout these two weeks, I was placed in a group for my history class for "Standardized Testing Olympics" where we battled against other kids in our class in games like Trash Basketball, and Jeopardy. My group happened to consist of me, and the four biggest troublemakers in the class. And I didn't even choose it. My teacher placed us by a test we took, trying to even out the teams. My friends got normal groups, and I got the worst. If it isn't proof enough, our group name was "Mr. Beaver's Army".
And almost every day of every single weekend I've spent at my grandparent's house, who have no working computers…
And now I'm facing a very very sick uncle (he's in the hospital for the fiftieth time), a math end of course test on Thursday on a course I haven't finished, finals, and end of the year projects.
And yeah, I shouldn't be complaining, and yes, I should be more organized and then I would have updated. I'm sorry, though. Very very very very very sorry, that I didn't update. I am a terrible person D:
But I'm going to try to get back on track. I've got three weeks left of school, or two and a half. Things will get even worse, but I'm determined to update more. Many of my stories WILL be updated tonight.
I definitely give you permission to throw bricks at my head.
Onto the story…
It was very... empty that night. The Cullens seemed to think I wanted some alone time, but I wasn't really sure what I wanted. I didn't think it was this.
Well, not this, exactly. I mean, I'm in a mansion, with my own room, and what seem like decent people. It's the foster child's' dream, or what is perceived by one.
But I just wanted to escape again. Not to the streets, no. But away. Somewhere. But where, I had no idea. Why, I wasn't sure.
Alice had shown me one of their many linen closets, and told me to pick anything for the night. When she left, I picked up an old blanket, which looked very similar to me. It was hidden in the back, and looked as if it hadn't been touched in years.
But I took it, and curled up in the loft. My suitcase was open next to me, revealing my one pair of pajamas and old clothes. There, next to it, was my copy of Wuthering Heights, nearly torn to shreds after years and years of use. And on the furthest side was a neat stack of perfectly folded pajamas. The tag said Victoria Secret, but they were just a white cotton long sleeved button shirt and matching pants. Comfy and soft.
I stared between the two pajamas for what seemed like forever, caught in an internal dilemma that I wasn't really sure about.
And that's when I heard a soft tapping on my door. My first instinct was to jump and my heart raced, thinking back to my time on the streets, but a cool voice called, one that obviously belonged to a Cullen.
"Isabella?" It was smooth, soft. Like velvet. Finding my vocal chords, I responded.
"Yes," I whispered weakly. The door moved, and in walked a guy I hadn't seen before. A mental check list told me this must be Edward, my future foster sibling who didn't want to meet me. I didn't blame him one bit.
He was certainly nice looking, that was to say. Auburn hair and bright green eyes that I could see clear across the room. He was handsome, like the others, but there was something else about him too.
"Hello," He said, walking over to my loft, looking nervous. I wondered what I looked like to him, dressed in my old tattered jeans and my sweatshirt, my hair in a messy ponytail. I probably looked like some savage animal, not fit to be in such a beautiful room.
"Hi," I said softly.
He cleared his throat, and came nearer, his bare feet pattering against the wood floor. I noticed that he was wearing what seemed to be a male version of my pajamas, except his were black. He drew even nearer to my hiding place, and it dawned on me. Sensing what he wanted, I waved him up to the loft. He climbed slowly, almost as if approaching a wild animal. I wasn't that frightening, was I?
And then he was sitting across from me, watching. I opened my mouth to speak, so not to seem like a social leper, but I couldn't find anything to say. Embarrassment finally found it's way to me, and my cheeks lit on fire.
That prompted him to speak. "I'm Edward." He said simply. I nodded, still trying to fight of my flush.
"Bella." I said, and out of habit, I threw my hand out. With a jolt, I realized how lame I looked, how ridiculous. But before I could withdraw my hand, he hesitantly reached out and shook it.
Something seemed to come to his attention, and he awkwardly asked me a question. "Do you like the room?" He spoke, gesturing to the darkening room, only lit by the moonlight. I hadn't bothered to turn a light on, so it was fairly dark.
"Very. Your family shouldn't have, though." I mumbled, hugging a pillow closer to me.
He didn't say anything, and I worried he might agree with me. He probably did.
"I'm sorry." He said quickly, all of the sudden. I turned to look at him, confused.
"What for?"
He paused, as if weighing his options. "For not being there this afternoon… for…" His eyes searched the area around us, but then he stopped and sat up.
As he descended down the ladder, I froze. "Where are you going?" I asked him, worried he had finally figured out what a loser I was.
"Erm, it's late." He said, walking to the door. "Goodnight, Isabella." He whispered before leaving, shutting the door silently behind him.
I just stared at the door. "Bella," I mumbled. "Bella."
I felt like I had just messed up on something, like a major test that I needed to pass. Burying my head into a pillow, I tried to calm myself down. But my brain eventually told me to go to sleep.
So I pulled on my old pajamas, ignoring the brand new pair sitting next to them. I couldn't wear them, not tonight. That internal battle had been resolved, and I wasn't sure why.
I woke up early that morning. A quick check at my watch told me it was 4 am. I laid back on the bed for a moment, spacing out. I snapped back to reality a moment later. It worried me, when I did that. Sometimes it felt like I might drift entirely away if I didn't stop myself.
I felt worn, and knew what I needed. So I grabbed a handful of my old clothes, and crept into the bathroom. A quick inspection led me to see a shower with various shower heads. But even more tempting was the elevated tub that was tucked into a corner, right next to a window that peered over the tops of the trees.
I stripped and crept up the stairs to the tub, and turned on the water. Once the large tub was filled to the brim with warm water, I slipped inside. The ceiling was only about three feet above me, but I didn't mind. I looked out over the landscape as I sank into the water.
My bath was long, but I eventually got out, the water now cool and my fingers pruny. I had found freesia and strawberry shampoo, possibly one of the oddest combinations, but a wonderful smell.
I dried in a very large towel, and dressed into my other pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt. It was big on me, but it was comfortable. And Lord knew I needed to be comfortable. Today was my first day as a member of the Cullen household… but members weren't necessarily family.
I stood in front of the mirror for a moment, frowning. In a desperate attempt, I tried to primp myself. No matter how much I told myself I didn't, I really did want to be… accepted by my new family.
I walked back to the room, and my watch told me it was only five. So I did the only thing I could do. I cleaned. I walked back into the bathroom and removed any traces that I may have left behind. The only source one could find would be a slightly rumpled towel that was folded in the corner. The room was next.
I refolded everything in my suitcase, and organized the pillows on the loft. Last was the blanket. But something stopped me. Instead, I wrapped the small blanket over my shoulders, and leaned against the pillows.
And that's when the second knock came, much like the first. Except this was from someone else. Carlisle walked into the room. His kind eyes fell on me, and I stared back at him.
"Bella, the movers are here with your new furniture." He said, and then a man walked in with a mirror. I nodded, hopping off of the loft, but I left the blanket. I didn't want to lose it.
"Alice, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett are gone," he said. "It's for a school activity. They need to help set things up. They're really sorry they can't be here for you today, and I need to work, but Jasper and Edward will be here if you need them." I smiled sadly at the information, but nodded.
"It's fine," I said, not really sure if it was, "I think I'll just take a walk around the house."
He frowned, but nodded. I could tell he didn't want to tell me no, but he was worried. "See if Jasper or Edward want to go with you, then. They've hiked all around this area."
I walked away, and passed Edward's room. I could tell by how silent it was that he wasn't in there. Not that I would take him with me.
My shoes weren't hiking shoes, but they were worn out tennis shoes, and they worked. I managed to make it about a mile, only falling a few times. The trees were peaceful, and I found myself once again drifting away. The cool air was refreshing, and renewing. Almost as if I was… changing a bit. But I wasn't that naive. I would always be ugly Bella. Stupid Bella. Unwanted Bella.
I passed through various clearings, but one caught my eye. It was a meadow, beautiful, and filled with soft grass. I walked to the edge, and sat on a rock.
A bulk in my pocket reminded me of my book that I had brought with me, and I took it out and read it.
I had gotten halfway through when I felt the sun warming. I looked up to see it high in the sky, and it was about six hours since I'd been at "home". I had to make it back, or I'd cause even more trouble!
So I ran, as best as I could. I fell many more times, the thorns scratching my skin and roots tripping me. But I made it. I found the white shape through the trees.
Alice stood in the backyard, a worried expression on her face. With a sickening pang, I realized it was for me. So I walked into the backyard, a grimace on my face. If I couldn't get them to hate me before, they would certainly hate me now for causing all the strife. Their new foster child running away.
And then she flew at me. "Oh, Bella! You had us so worried!" She hugged me tightly, making it hard to breathe.
"I'm sorry." I couldn't really think of anything else to say. At least it was sincere.
Esme and Emmett came out, the former dithering around me and the latter laughing. There was no Rosalie or Carlisle, but a respectful Jasper came outside.
Lastly, and yet the one I somehow wanted to see the most, came out of the perfect white door. Edward.
His face paled as he looked at me. And I mean, really looked at me. He drew nearer, hanging around the edges of us while Esme and Alice prattled on.
He seemed concerned. For what, I didn't know. "Bella?" he asked. "What did you do to yourself?"
I looked down, as if for some gaping wound. I found nothing.
But then the other family member took a double glance at me. And they all gasped.
I put a hand to my face, freaked out. "What is it?" I asked, panicked. Pulling my hand away, I saw a sticky red patch on my hand. I was bleeding.
Oh God, blood. My stomach churned, and I felt like I would throw up. But before I could get closer to spilling my guts, in a literal way, I fainted.
It wasn't a great chapter, but it was the first in BPOV. Lots of internal dialogue, and probably not nearly my best.