4. A Man of Honor (Ned).

Ned was sitting in his solar reading the letter that had just arrived over and over again. Hand of the King. This is a great honor, he thought. But it means leaving Winterfell and my family. It means going to King's Landing.

He was still trying to write a reply when his daughter Sansa walked in.

"Look, father, I finished it. I wanted to show it to you" she said showing him a knitted blanket. It displayed all the sigils of the North.

"The Battle axe of the Cerwins, Bolton's flayed man, Dustin's long axes, the moose of the Hornwoods, this one looks hard to make."

"It was" she smiled timidly "and I don't think I got the colors right"

"It's perfect" he continued "Karstark's sun, Locke's keys, the Merman of Manderly, is this Mormont's Bear?"

"Yes, it's not very good, is it?"

"It's beautiful, honey. Is it a gift? Who is it for?"

"It's for Jon, so he can take it to the Wall with him."

"It's beautiful, he'll love it. Your mother told me you were making a blanket, but she didn't tell me it was for Jon."

"She didn't know, and I would have told her, but she never came to help me like she promised."

"Mmh, she was probably busy with something. I know she loves doing these things with you. And unfortunately this is something I really can't help you with. I'm great with a sword, but hopeless with a needle".

"You're great with many things father, but unfortunately you're also hopeless with a lot of things, as well" she laughed and her laughter was contagious.

Such a sweet girl, and she has her mother's looks, her mother's smile and her mother's sweet personality. She will make a great wife one day; hopefully, not very soon, though. I want to enjoy her presence for as long as I can. Jon will be going to the Wall and if I accept Robert's proposal I will have to leave, as well. When will I see my children and my wife again?

"I'm going to show this to Bran before I give it to Jon. He helped me with the sigils. He's really good at this, he knows them all."

"Yes, he is" Ned smiled as Sansa turned to leave. Bran's very agile and very smart. He'll make a great knight one day.

.

He was still immersed in his thoughts when the door opened again.

"Cat" he greeted his wife as she came into his solar. "I kept waiting for you at the Godswood, to show the Gods our love" he said with a wink.

"What love? Who do you really love, Ned?" she replied sternly.

"Excuse me? What are you talking about, Cat?" he asked not following his wife's train of thought.

"How could you? You lied to me. For fifteen years you would look me in the eye and swear eternal love, and all this time you were lying through your teeth."

"I take it Jon talked to you" Oh, this is bad, he thought.

"Yes, we talked. I have to say, it was rather a shock for the both of us to realize that the man we had always held in such high regard would lie to us both. Why Ned?"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry just doesn't cut it this time. Do you have any idea of the pain you caused me? Knowing you had been unfaithful to me hurt, it hurt a lot. But it was a long time ago and I had tried to put it behind me. Yet, now I find out it was not infidelity but just a plain old lie."

"Cat, look …"

"No!" she interrupted him. "Now you listen to me. For fifteen years Ned, fifteen years you kept me in the dark. Do you have any idea what you put me through?"

"I'm sorry"

"No, you don't get to be sorry now. It's too late. Do you know how much you hurt me? How much you hurt Jon? Do you have any idea what I felt when I first saw you with Jon in your arms? I was a young girl full of dreams, a stranger in a strange land. We married out of duty, yes I know, but I had dreams. And for a moment I thought we shared those dreams. Those few days we had in Riverrun right after we got married, before you rode off with Robert Baratheon, we were happy. We made Robb in those days. And here I was, a young proud mother and wife waiting for her husband. And when you returned you had that baby in your arms. For a minute my world just collapsed. All my hopes and dreams vanished at the sight of that baby."

"Don't cry, Cat. Please" he said taking a step towards her.

"Don't touch me. Not only did you have me believe you had been unfaithful to me, but you were also unrepentant. You refused to talk about the baby and his mother. You had me believe there was another woman you loved more than me. Had I displeased you? Was I not good enough?"

"No, Cat. Never."

"Well, all those thoughts were going through my head at the time. And the one time I finally had the courage to ask you, you yelled at me like I had never seen you before. I was terrified of you Ned. I really thought that was the end. But I got over it. We both did, and we built a beautiful life together. Only now I find out this beautiful life I thought I had, was built upon a lie. Why didn't you tell me Jon was Lyanna's and Rhaegar's? You would have made my life a lot easier. I would have understood, I would have helped you. I would have helped him."

"I didn't know you so well back then."

"You didn't trust me" she retorted.

"I didn't want to risk your life and Robb's. If word got out that I was harboring a Targaryen baby, there's no telling what Robert would have done. It could have gotten us killed."

"Oh, you're so honorable, Ned. You lied to me to save my life - my knight in shining armor. You didn't care what I was feeling. Did it ever cross your mind that I might mind being made a fool of? That I might mind having all these people talk behind my back? I was the Lady of Winterfell, yet my husband preferred the bed of another."

"I'm sorry."

"Alright, let's accept you saved my life and the life of my son, and probably Jon's too, by keeping his true origins a secret. When do you think I would have merited the truth? When was I going to gain your trust? Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I .. I … Cat" he tried to grab her hand but she just pulled away.

"You were never going to tell me, were you? You told Jon but not me. For all your talk of honor, you have shit for honor Ned" she spat venomously.

"Cat, wait"

"What? Where's your honor? Everybody says you're the most honorable man in Westeros, and for many years I believed it too. But where's the honor in lying to your wife for fifteen years? In making her have nightmares about another woman who's going to take her place? Where's the honor in letting me treat Jon the way I did? If I had known he was your nephew and not some boy whose mother you loved more than me and who was going to take away what rightfully belonged to my children, I would have welcome him with open arms. He was just an innocent boy and you let me take my frustrations out on him. You never cared for him or for me. You have no honor, Ned."

They just stared at each other for the longest time in painful silence.

"Cat, I'm sorry."

"No. I have nothing left to say."

She turned to leave when she saw Robert's letter on his desk.

"What's that? Another secret?"

"Um .. no. I have received a letter from Robert. He wants me to be his Hand. He's coming to Winterfell to offer me the position of Hand of the King."

"It's a great honor. Hand of the King. When were you going to tell me?"

"I was, believe me. But, I don't want to accept it. I would have to go to the Capital. I hate King's Landing, it's just a cesspool of lies and treachery."

"You'll fit right in, then. You should accept it" she snapped back at him and turned around.

Ned kept looking at the door hoping his wife would return, but he knew she wouldn't. He knew he had hurt her beyond repair. Oh Gods, how do I sort this mess? I have hurt the ones I love the most and I have no idea how to repair the damage. I don't know if it can even be repaired.

TBC