Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It

Chapter 4: That He...

"Emily" Charlotte said in her sing-songy voice as she waltzed into the room, her brown hair bouncing in soft waves against her back, "You're looking really well".

Emily smiled softly, she was fond of Charlotte, she was innocent and happy and kind, she was the good seed out of the many bad; and somehow she had managed to defy all the cruelness that infected the Grayson's.

Emily liked to think it was because she had some David Clarke in her, Amanda had told her all about the real David Clarke, not the one society was made to believe, the one who had been tragically tarnished with terrifying lies and blame.

"She smiles" Charlotte said happily, as she plopped down on the chair beside her, "I've missed that".

"I know" Emily murmured quietly, not really knowing what else to say.

"I see they've finally gotten you out of that hospital gown" she commented, "The sea blue looks nice on you, it brings out the chocolaty brown in your eyes."

"Thanks, I'm still wearing gowns of sorts because it's a lot easier for me to slip on by myself but at least it's a lot nicer now."

Charlotte nodded her head in agreement and Emily began to slowly say, "Everything's going to take a bit of time, but I am feeling a lot better, I can move around now, without feeling such intense pain and I don't seem to feel so tired anymore."

"You're healing" she replied smiling.

"Physically, yes" Emily replied honestly.

"What about your memories are you beginning to remember the attacker?"

Emily looked away from Charlotte's concerned face and shook her head slowly, "I..."

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked, I'm sure if you knew, the culprit would be behind bars by now." Charlotte said quickly, grabbing onto Emily's hand as a comforting gesture, "It's so frustrating though, I feel such uneasiness every time I'm reminded of what happened to you. The police keep saying, it was somebody on the yacht but I can't wrap my head around someone there being so cruel... so twisted, as to raise a gun to your chest and shoot... it sickens me and I'm so sorry that had to happen to you."

Emily felt a lump begin to form in her throat and she squeezed Charlotte's hand, grateful for her kindness, "You're not the one who has to be apologizing Charlotte" Emily said slowly, "I just want to thank you, you've shown so much support, and it means a lot to me."

Charlotte smiled, "Well we're sisters now" she replied sweetly.

Sisters, Emily forced herself to smile though it was such a weak one, she would have loved that, but she wasn't naive enough to think that Charlotte and her could be 'sisters' now, he'd taken that away from her too.

"Has Daniel, been looking after?" she asked almost tentatively as if she was afraid of the answer, her eyes already portraying sadness as if she knew the answer... which she probably did.

Emily bit her bottom lip, what to say, what could she say? Charlotte wasn't stupid, she saw things and knew enough to know that something was wrong, "You know it wasn't all easy before the wedding, I made mistakes, he made mistakes and those things just don't go away, even with this injury."

"But you two were happy at the wedding right" she pursued a hopeful tone to her voice, "You had to be, or why else would you get married, right"

"Right" Emily answered to hull the desperation that was beginning to rise in Charlotte's voice, "Of course we were". But was that really true she had to ask herself?

The day of the wedding she had felt a range of emotions all in one; happiness, nervousness, excitement, guilt being only a few of them.

But what had Daniel been feeling...trapped? She didn't want to think that but was that the reality? When she had lied to him about her pregnancy it wasn't so much to trap him into marriage with her but to prompt him into believing, into remembering that they belonged together. If she didn't think he held love in his heart for her anymore than she wouldn't have lied, she would have just left him.

Had Daniel just been faking the smiles, the passion, the warmth and the love she had felt when he had kissed her on the altar? When he said his vows, slipped on her ring, or when they had their first dance, what did he feel for her, love or resentment or was it something muddled in the middle? Is that why he shot her because he was confused with how he felt?

She didn't know

Flashback

It was beautiful but all she felt was a wave of disgust and a wave of guilt as she looked up at the wedding cake, it was her fault, all hers, she thought bitterly, silently cursing Sarah Munello in her head. But that was over now, she was the one marrying Daniel not her. She didn't expect things to be easy, not straight away but she hoped with that distraction gone, she and Daniel could work through everything that pulled them apart; they did love each other after all.

Feeling his arm wrap around her waist, she smiled at his touch, "Are you ready", he whispered into her ear. She nodded her head, and they both turned their attention to the intricately made, five layered wedding cake.

"It's a beautiful cake" Emily forced herself to say, despite the vileness she felt in her throat from complimenting the hypocritical 'home wrecker'.

"You don't have to say that" Daniel uttered softly, his voice apologetic, as he turned to look at her.

Emily paused, trying to gather the words she wanted to say to him, before tentatively saying, "I understand what it is to want closure" she looked away from him before forcing her eyes to look back up into his, "and I know you do things, you never thought you would do..."

Daniel interrupted her, placing his hands on either side of her face, he looked into her honest brown eyes, with his shamefully guilty ones. He knew he had hurt her and he knew it probably hurt her a lot more than she let on. "I swear, I'm going to be a better man to you, and an even better dad to our baby." He said resolutely, wanting to convince her, wanting to promise her what she deserved.

She smiled softly, wholeheartedly wanting to believe his words as he drew his soft lips against her own, the warmth of them brushing against her lower lip. Seeking entry, she obliged and he slipped his eager tongue inside her mouth, kissing her softly and passionately as he cradled her face in his hands.

Pulling away he kissed her on the cheek and she smiled beautifully, he'd always loved her smile and so not being able to help himself, he smiled widely too.

Flashback End

"I don't understand" Charlotte said tentatively, "Why hasn't he been by your side? Why hasn't he given you support?" she paused and then continued anger in her voice "I don't know what you guys went through but you nearly died, he nearly lost you forever and... your baby died, surely whatever happened can't be so unforgiving that he won't comfort you and help you through this, its..."

Not knowing how to finish her thought she moved to her next one, "You told me once that, tragedy has a way of bringing people together, but it doesn't seem to be working this time."

"I don't know what to say" Emily murmured a dreary honesty to her reply.

"Tell me that you two will get through it?"

Emily shook her head slowly, "I don't know if we will", she replied. She knew it wasn't what Charlotte wanted to hear but she also knew it was better than the truth she was thinking.

"I am going to talk to Daniel, and quite literally I am going to knock some sense into him if I have too, but Emily don't give up, my brother loves you more than anything in the world, so if you fight for him, if you let him know you love him, I'm sure you two can work it out!"

Emily forced a weak smile to protrude from her lips, why was Charlotte making this so hard? She didn't know anything; she didn't know that Daniel had cheated on her, she didn't know that she had faked her own pregnancy, she didn't know that Daniel had shot her and she sure as hell didn't know that ultimately they could never go back to how they once were.

Looking towards Emily clearly distraught, she stood up wrapping her arms around her, "I'm sorry Emily, I came in here wanting to cheer you up but I think all I've achieved is the opposite of that. I'll make it up to you, I promise"

Giving Charlotte a squeeze back, Emily quietly murmured, "You're too sweet".

*Knock knock

Looking toward the bedroom door aloofly, Emily returned her focus to the book in her hands. It didn't matter who it was, Charlotte was the only person in the house she cared about and at the moment, she was out shopping with her callously cruel mother, anyway if it was her, she'd just waltz in. As for Daniel, she literally hadn't laid eyes on him for days, so she doubted it was him.

Hearing the door handle twist opon, she narrowed her eyes angrily, so much for privacy.

"Em's it's me" she heard a familiar voice say as a head full of blond hair, popped itself out from behind the door.

"Nolan" she uttered surprised as she ushered his lanky figure in, "How did you get in here?"

Nolan smiled lopsidedly, and he moved towards her, engulfing her in a long comforting hug, "I've missed you" he whispered.

Feeling herself relax in his arms, she squeezed onto him tightly, trying to push back the huge lump in her throat she felt beginning to form. Nolan was her rock, her anchor... her family, but it was so hard seeing him, that sense of relief and familiarity, and comfort in his arms, made it so hard to hold on to all her emotions without breaking down.

"Nolan" she uttered weakly, "I'm really glad you're here".

Pulling away from her so that he could talk to her, he smiled and softly said, "Me too, it's all thanks to Charlotte, what would we do without our one good Grayson?" he murmured.

"She snuck me in" he explained, "Victoria pretty much has you on lock down, she has guards outside the house and even her security cams and alarms have been upgraded, so even for me, the God of technology, I would have had to spend longer messing around with them. Charlotte's been trying to get us in here with you since the time they first brought you here though. Amanda's been pestering her every day, we all have, we've been really worried, the only thing that kept us sane was Charlotte's reassurance that you were healing."

"She's been talking to the guards, trying to form their trust, their help, and so after getting on pretty good terms with the guards, and using a popular technique named bribery, she managed to convince them into letting one guest into the manor to see you. Amanda wasn't too happy about the choice, but it was decided democratically of course, that I should be the one to see you. All that was left for Charlotte to do, was lure the witch away from her nest, which she did in the most practical way possible, shopping, and 'voila' here I am." Pausing to look at her reaction, he added "Amanda and jack send their love and little Carl of course."

"Thank you" Emily murmured her voice beginning to wobble, she'd been feeling so alone the past few days and it's not that she doubted her friends but it was nice to hear that they'd been pulling for her.

Nolan grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently, "Of course, you don't think we'd leave you up here by yourself?"

Emily shook her head,

"I'm just thankful Charlotte could pull though?" Nolan murmured.

Emily looked away from Nolan, feeling guilt begin to form in her stomach as she quietly murmured, "She's a saint, she doesn't deserve what she'll be put through."

Nolan looked at her questioningly and opened his mouth ready to ask what she meant by that before closing it back again, she'd tell him when she was ready.

Touching her tentatively on the arm, he looked into her eyes and earnestly said, "I'm going to get you out of here Em's, you can recuperate at my house, I'll get you an even better nurse, I'll take care of you."

Emily cast her eyes downward, not feeling able to look into his honest, caring, blue eyes without crying.

"Em's, remember when I first saw you in the hospital after you'd gotten shot , and I managed to sneak into the room in my red and white hospital suit, you had looked so pale it really scared me and with those tubes and equipment stuck to you, it had only heightened my fear. I can see that physically you're better now, you look much healthier than when I last saw you, but in a way you also look much more wounded, more exhausted, emotionally that is. I saw it as soon as I stepped in the room and I'm worried...your memory returning brought up something painful didn't it?"

He looked into her eyes, urging her to tell him what was wrong, wishing for her to unload her pain onto him.

"I..." she started off but then she bit her lip and shook her head slowly, murmuring, "It's been really hard", the only thing she could admit to.

Nolan looked at her distressingly, was that all she could admit to? Emily was a pretty closed off person but he had broken through her walls, years ago. She had let him in, and in turn for not hurting her she'd formed complete trust in him, so what was so hard that she couldn't tell him?

"Living here's doing nothing good for you, Victoria's a witch, Conrad's MIA with his new mistress, not that he's a particularly good guy anyway and Daniel, well Daniel's proved that he's nothing more than a rich bastard, he hasn't been by your side, has he? I never should have let you marry him after he cheated, god he's disgusting." Nolan said with disdain, his face crumpling in anger as he looked towards her for her reaction. "You deserve so much better, Emily. There was a time when I saw you with him and believed that he just might be your future. Even at the wedding, I felt a spark of hope that he could make amends to you and be a good husband, but I...all hope is gone, that man is a Grayson through and through, his actions clearly show that. Now I can assume that he found out about the fake pregnancy through the doctors at the hospital and even he has a right to be upset, but you're his wife, who got shot and while you're trapped here recuperating, he should be by your side, not off trying to get back into bed with Sarah."

Emily's pain filled eyes, widened in surprise, "Sarah?" she whispered. She had figured he'd been off drinking, getting wasted, maybe sleeping around with girls he cared nothing for, all the while trying to qualm the guilt inside of him, but Sarah, he was off reforming his relationship with her? While she was isolated in his house and wounded both physically and emotionally.

Emily closed her eyes wincing at the sharp pain she felt in her heart, as she blocked out Nolan's words,

What was she in comparison to Sarah? Would she never have been enough? Did he just not love her as much as he thought he did... she thought he did?

No matter what happens between us, I'll always be honest with you. If you let me I'd love to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you made me .I love you Emily, for now and always. I ended it with her because you're the only one I want. I swear, I'm going to be a better man to you. I LOVE YOU

Did it mean nothing? Did any of those words mean anything? Do they still?

When she opened her eyes, tears immediately began spilling from her eyes, rushing out as quickly as a conglomerate of high school students concentrated by the doors would after exams.

Nolan looked at her alarmed and he quickly drew her closer to him, wrapping his lanky arms around her sobbing body. Emily Thorne never cried, it was a rarity, so if she was crying now he knew it had to be bad... really really bad.

He didn't say anything though, he didn't know what to say, those generic seemingly comforting words like, it's okay, I'm here now, wouldn't work on Emily, he knew that, so he just held onto her and let her tears seep into his expensive shirt.

Her voice muffled by his shirt she began to whisper, a low tone to her voice, "I could have started over if I hadn't remembered; I wouldn't have to feel this pain, I wouldn't have known that I loved him, that I trusted him and that he broke that, that he broke me, that he cheated, that he... that he...''

"That he what?" Nolan asked anxiously.