A/N. So I'm kind of suffering Writer's Block for both of my current stories but I have a better idea of where I'm going with 'Innocence Lost' so yeah. We'll see how it goes. By the way how did you like the last chapter? I dug a hole and laid in it for a long while. I'm out at the moment. I might have to go back in. We'll see. I don't own anything.
A uniformed policeman stepped into the room and looked around at the stricken faces. He pulled out his walkie-talkie and spoke into, his voice wavering slightly. "I've got about sixteen kids in here. None of them seem to be injured just shaken up. There's two bodies outside the room though, A teacher and a girl. They're both gone."
Carlos whimpered quietly at the mention of Doctor Hawthorne and the freshman girl. "Can we leave please?" He asked, his voice lacking all emotion. The shock of the horrific tragedy had taken it's toll on him and all those around him. He sighed wearily and leaned close to Kendall who tightened his protective grip around his shoulders.
The officer gave a sharp nod, struggling to keep his professional composure. He was young, probably fresh out the academy, and none of the training in the world could have ever been enough preparation for the real thing. "Come with me. We're walking straight to the nearest exit. Don't run off looking for anyone all right?" He waited until they all nodded then motioned for them to step out of the room.
Look straight ahead. Don't look left or right or back or down or. . . Carlos' eyes disobeyed his brain and they wandered around the deserted halls. Immediately outside of the room were two bodies covered in sheets. It hurt to think that one of his favorite teachers was under one of them and the other was over a fifteen year old girl. Backpacks lay strewn over the floor, dropped by panicked students and Carlos would have tripped over one if Kendall hadn't kept a death grip on his elbow, keeping him steady.
"Just keep walking." Kendall murmured softly to Carlos and the girls. "We're almost there." He carefully averted his eyes from the body sheets and focused instead on the doors up ahead.
The sunlight was overwhelmingly bright when they finally shoved the heavy doors opened and stepped out into the fresh air. It was complete chaos all over the school grounds. Police cars and ambulances were everywhere and behind barriers were frantic parents, calling for their missing children. Almost immediately, Kendall's eyes found two familiar figures and he pulled Carlos along with him, already knowing that Julie and Camille were right behind them.
Jo and Stephanie flung themselves into their boyfriends' arms and cried. They shook with frightened and relieved sobs before pulling away and hugging the other girls. Then, the six of them collapsed onto the grass and took comfort in the presence of each other. But there was still a nagging fear brought on by the absence of two people.
"Have you-" Jo broke off in mid-sentence when Kendall shook his head. She leaned in closer to him and held tightly to Camille's hand while Stephanie tried to comfort a distraught Julie.
"I heard that the shooting started in the study hall where James was supposed to be." Julie whispered. She stared out at the sea of people rushing by. Then she turned back to the others, a desperate hope in her troubled eyes. "But they could be wrong, right? It could have been somewhere completely different."
Camille nodded mechanically. "Of course, Julie. I'm sure they're both fine." But no one including herself believed it. A sense of dread filled the noisy air and settled around them.
"What are we supposed to do?" Stephanie looked around. "Are any of our parents here?" It was impossible to distinguish anyway through the sea of faces.
Carlos shrugged, accidentally jostling his girlfriend in the process. "I don't know." He said. "I guess we could ask someone but everyone seems so busy. I don't know what we should be doing at all."
"This is all so unbelievable." Jo sighed. "I never thought this would actually happen to us. I wish I paid more attention to all those safety prevention classes we had to go to. At least then I would have some sort of idea of what I should be doing." She went to lean her head on Kendall again but nearly fell over when he jerked violently away. "Kendall?" She questioned.
Kendall didn't hear her at all. He scrambled to his feet and before anyone could speak he dashed over to a nearby ambulance followed closely by Carlos. "Logan!" He shouted. The relief at seeing one of his best friends died instantly when he saw the state that Logan was in.
Logan's entire body was covered in blood. The majority of the stains were on his left foot and right shoulder but his gray T-shirt had turned red and clung to his shaking body. Kendall noticed that both of his hands were oozing the red liquid and he wondered how Logan could possibly be alive after losing so much blood.
But Logan wasn't just alive. He thrashed out wildly against the restraining arms of the EMTs who were trying to load him into the waiting ambulance. He was crying so hard that neither Kendall or Carlos could make out a word he was trying to say. His eyes were wild with pain and shock and he never once reacted to his friends' voices.
The two boys stood, staring numbly at their friend. They barely even noticed the girls as they joined them and simply stared at Logan. The EMTs were practically laying on top of him in their attempts to keep him from falling off the stretcher. He babbled on and on incoherently until finally his words began to make sense. And what he said was like a blow to the stomach.
"James," He cried out and flung his good arm out, smacking an EMT in the face. "He's gone. James is dead. He's gone." Then he became impossible to understand again and he fell back against the stretcher sobbing. The EMTs took their opportunity and strapped Logan to the wheeled bed before shoving it into the back of the ambulance.
Kendall and Carlos stumbled backwards and fell to the grass. Julie collapsed to the ground beside them, already inconsolable. They dimly noticed the other girls kneeling beside their friend, trying in vain to comfort her. James. James was dead. And some horrible doubt that Logan would even make it to the hospital nagged at all of them. But James. After all they had been through with Logan's cancer, had they lost two of their friends in one senseless act of violence?
"Kids?" A soft voice interrupted their grief and the teens looked up to see a police chief leaning over them. His face was filled with concern and sympathy as he gently placed a hand on Julie's shoulder. "I need you to follow me." He gestured with his free arm across the street. "The gym over there is holding the unharmed students until they all find their parents. None of you have been hurt correct?"
Somehow Kendall found the strength to shake his head and he stood up, pulling Carlos to his feet as well. Then the two boys and the chief helped the girls up as well and slowly they made their way across the street. The gym was already packed full of students, milling around in shock and the small group found an empty corner when they allowed themselves to fall apart.
It couldn't be real. It had to be a nightmare. James couldn't really be dead. How would Logan have known anyway? His English class was far away from where James had his study hall. He might have heard it from another student but the information could still be wrong. Carlos had become an expert at being in denial when Logan was sick but for some reason it wasn't working as he sat in the gym and cried for the life of his friend and Logan who might die as well.
It wasn't long before their parents began showing up. Thankfully, Julie's parents showed up first and after gathering the horrible information, her father gathered his broken hearted daughter in his arms, saying something about how it would probably be best if they got her home. It might have made sense if the rest of them could process anything at all.
Stephanie's and Jo's parents showed up at the same time, followed closely by Camille's mother who tearfully gathered her daughter into her arms and clung to her, afraid to let go. The girls all let their parents take them home with little protest, but not before embracing Kendall and Carlos once again.
"Kendall? Carlos?" Mrs. Knight rushed over to the boys and hugged them both tightly. When she pulled away, Katie latched herself to Kendall and refused to budge an inch.
"Mom," Kendall sobbed uncontrollably. "James is dead. Logan said. . . and he might die too. There was so much blood."
"I want my mom and dad." Carlos pleaded. "Are they coming? When are they coming? I need them. Please." He shook with his own sobs and cried into his friend's mother's shoulder, all the while wishing his own mother was there.
"Oh boys." Mrs. Knight whispered through her own tears that started to fall the second her son had spoken. There was nothing she could say to take away the grief that was already swallowing them up and she hugged them closer to her, sandwiching Katie in the process. "Are you sure?" She hadn't meant to give them false hope. It would be cruel to give them any sort of hope but she found herself asking the question in sheer desperation.
Carlos shook his head and pulled away. "No." He said. "We didn't see him. But Logan just kept saying over and over again that James was dead and he was crying so hard and he wouldn't let them help him. I've never seen Logan like that. He was so. . . sad."
"He could be wrong." Katie said before she could stop herself. She was only eleven, almost twelve but what did she know? Besides, she absolutely refused to believe that one of her brothers could actually be dead. Not like this. "Logan's been wrong before." She whispered. "He. . . He could have been in shock or something like that."
"But even if he was wrong and James isn't dead, where is he? How bad is he hurt? And what about Logan? He was really hurt, Mom." Kendall shuddered at the memory. "He. . . The blood. There was so much of it, Mom."
"Okay." Mrs. Knight hugged him once more. "We'll go to the hospital now. On the way Kendall, I want you to call your father and Carlos, I want you to call your parents. I can't imagine how worried they are right now."
"What. . ." Carlos choked on the words. "What about James' parents?"
Kendall's mother wrapped a reassuring arm around his shoulders. "We don't know anything about James right now, Carlos. Not for sure anyway. Let's find out before we give them any false information."
False. It could still be false information. So easily. Kendall and Carlos held onto that slim chance and followed Mrs. Knight and Katie to the waiting car. Despite the small bit of hope that they had been given, Kendall started to cry again as soon as he was in the car and Carlos joined him. They cried for their friends in whatever state they might be in. They cried for the dead and the injured and the living. They cried for the day that had changed their lives forever no matter what happened later on.
He was in that state of mind where he was still asleep but totally aware of everything going on around him. He was in a hospital, that much was obvious. He had spent so much time in the hospital last year that he knew without opening his eyes that he was back. The hushed voices and the quiet bustle was as familiar as the beeping of the heart monitor. He had forgotten how annoying that sound could be.
He knew how he had come to be there too. He wanted to block it out but the memory was still so sharp. Study hall. Andrew. The lock down room that had failed them. Andrew. Pain.
He was in so much pain. His whole body ached and tears came to his closed eyes, spilling down his cheeks. He felt a gentle squeeze on one of his hands and managed to return the gesture. He knew that they must be worried about him. He wanted to open his eyes and let everyone know that he was okay but he was afraid.
Worse than the physical pain that he was in was the emotional pain the threatened to pull him back into total unconsciousness. He was tempted to let it take him. Maybe everything would hurt less there. But maybe it would hurt more. He was no stranger to nightmares.
He decided to wake up. If anything, it would ease the fears for everyone else. It might hurt him but he hated to think of anyone suffering on his account. But it was easier said than done. His eyes felt like they weighed about three pounds each as he struggled to open them. He managed to complete the task and instantly he focused on two extremely worried looking people sitting by his bed. When they saw that he was awake, relief didn't begin to describe their expressions. He smiled through his pain and opened his mouth to reassure them even more. But before he could, one of them reached forward and brushed his hair off his forehead and spoke through the falling tears.
"James."
A/N. Oh wow. So yeah. Am I evil or awesome? Because if I were reading this I would have mixed feelings. I think. I don't know. But yeah. James is alive. Did you really think that I could kill him? NO. WAY. James is alive and because I'm still a terrible person, Logan will be the last to know this. ANYWAY, a few more things before I let you leave a review. One, you're all so smart to have guess the meaning of the last chapter's title. I love you all. Two, since I'm suffering from Writer's Block with both of my stories (Like, I don't really like this chapter. I felt like I was fighting the entire time I was writing), I'll be starting the 'Big Time Rush 100 Themes Challenge' soon. It'll be a nice break from multi chapter stories. Okay, that's all. Please review!