a/n: hi there! Another update from me!
Hmm. remember, flashbacks are introduced by the ~~~***~~~ sign, and that same sign signals it's end.
P.s. it seems that I'm writing these flashbacks haphazardly, I'm sorry. The flash back in this chapter occurs long before the other ones, as will be evident.
*~~ LOVE WAS NOT ENOUGH: ~~*
-A sequel to I Need You to Love Me.-
CHAPTER 4: The Tie that Binds
"My Lord, there is nothing that I can do! The witch is dying!"
The Healer mumbled, terrified. No one had ever seen Draco Malfoy this way. He had always been in control of his emotions; only his actions belied what his was feeling. But now, but now anyone could sense that his fury was about to be unleashed.
"She is dying, but she isn't dead! You are a healer, heal!" Draco thundered.
"My Lord, the only thing keeping her from death is the magic you are channeling into her. It keeps her heart beating, but that heart is no longer working. It has suffered too many wounds, my lord, wounds that can never be healed!" The healer tried to explain.
"What wounds?" Draco asked icily, his hand already grasping menacingly for his wand.
"Well sir, it seems that urr. her heart had been stabbed before, and it had miraculously healed, but not completely. Even then, her heart was very weak. She would have survived, but she made it worse by bearing a child. That put too much strain on her heart and body, and depleted her of the energy she needed to keep her heart beating. Then, she was hit by the 'lenta mortia' curse, and as you know, seeing as you created it sir, the curse is designed to slowly squeeze the heart and lungs until they . . . ."
"Enough!"
The healer squealed as the table next to him burst into flames, but he did not move. There was no telling what Draco Malfoy would do to him if he did. Silenced filled the air, until finally, the healer explained.
"It is not my fault sir. If she had had the proper healing, the medication, the care before this, perhaps, she could have survived. No sir, she would never have been healthy or strong, but she would have lived. However, she came to me too late. I could have helped her, perhaps, if I met her a year, or half a year ago. But now . . .."
"Leave us!" Draco hissed.
Quickly the healer bowed and exited the room.
****** For hours, Draco held Hermione's hand, pouring his magic into her to keep her alive. But now, now that he was perhaps one of most powerful wizards in the world; he did not have enough magic to save her. He was slowing her death, not protecting her from it. The moment he let go of her hand, her heart would stop beating.
At first, his rage was directed towards her friends. How could they have let her fall this far? Why didn't anyone stop her from giving birth to their child? They must have known, 5 years ago, what the pregnancy would do to her heart, to her body. Damn it! They should have stopped her! And even afterwards, they could have helped her, but they didn't! They could have healed her the moment after she was hit by the 'lenta mortia' curse, but instead, they had left her to die! Those fools! The moment he found them, he would make sure that they all burned in hell.
But later, Draco was forced to realize if Hermione's death was anyone's fault, it was his. If he had stayed with her, waited long enough to find out about their child, he could have convinced her that her life was more precious to him than anything else. And even if she still chose to give birth, he could have been there to make sure that she was properly cared for. Instead, he had condemned her to the life of a fugitive - running from Death Eaters, hiding from his forces, and all the while being alone. It was he who had created the 'lenta mortia' curse. It was his forces that cornered the alliance wherever they went. It was he who had cut off their medical supplies and created more injuries than their healers could deal with. And now, and now he would have to live with the memory of being responsible for the death of the only person he had ever loved.
"Is Mommy dead?"
For a moment, Draco struggled to remember who the child was. Its existence had slipped out of his mind the moment he had realized that Hermione was going to die. But now, now the child would be all he would have left.
"IS MOMMY DEAD?" Amber screamed at the man she was told was her father. He was responsible for this! He was responsible for making her mother die!
"No, not yet. But soon!" Draco said softly, mirroring the despair in the child's voice. He flinched at the anger he saw in his daughter, the anger that was directed towards him.
"Then Heal her! This is Your Fault! Fix it!" Amber screamed as she rushed to her mother's body. She clambered onto the bed, and felt her mother's forehead. It was cold, too cold.
"I can't!" The finality in his voice shocked even him.
"Then why are you here? Go! Get out!" she screamed.
"Because if I let go of her, she WILL die! Now! And I can't let that happen." He snapped back
The large grey pools fixed on his face, searching, seeing the despair that was tearing him apart, the love that he felt for her dying mother, the regret for what could have been.
"You love her, don't you?" She asked, her voice too sage to belong to a four-year-old girl.
Slowly, Draco nodded.
"And she loves you, more than anything." The girl's words was a statement, not a question.
Draco shook his head.
"She loves you more, daughter." He said softly.
"Amber"
"What?"
"My name is Amber."
~~~***~~~
"Hermione, what are you doing here?" He asked, a bit groggily. It was the middle of the night, and instead of being in his warm bead at the Head Boy quarters where he belonged, he was standing in the unheated library wearing an invisibility cloak.
"Oh, I just wanted to look something up. I'll be back in a second." She answered, running her hand quickly along the spine of some books.
"You're in the restricted section." He stated, trying to get her attention.
"Uh hah." Was all he got in reply.
"It's late."
"Ummm"
"Hermione! Look at me when I talk to you." He ordered. Being linked, he could sense that something was wrong. She was scared!
Hermione sighed and looked up at him.
"There is no secret I could hide from you is there?" She asked, but her tone was light; amused.
"Nor I from you. Now spill it. What scared you?" He asked.
"I had a dream." She said simply.
"Another one? You've been getting a lot of those lately, since . ."
"Since I came back from the dead?" She suggested.
"If you must call it that." He acquiesced gruffly.
"Well, I had another one, and I'm beginning to think that they aren't merely dreams. That's why I thought I could look up some more stuff about our . . . . err . . ."
"Past lives?"
Hermione sighed.
"We have to stop finishing each other's sentences, you know. Harry and Ron are beginning to get suspicious." She chided.
"I don't give a damn about what Potter and Weasel, . . I mean Weasley, think. And stop trying to distract me, why are you scared?
"In my dream, I keep on seeing Amber."
"The Slytherin Bride?" he asked. "I thought we freed her when I chose love over power and all that."
"Yes. I thought so too. But I've been seeing her in my dreams so often lately. She's back there, in the forest, crying."
"That's no surprise. That's all she ever does. And why should that scare you?" He said sardonically, ignoring the pang of guilt that was attacking him. It was clear to him, now, that although he had brought Hermione back, he did not choose love over power. Instead, he was trying to have them both.
"You're feeling guilty. Why?" She asked.
He shook his head and pulled her to him.
"Nothing. I just don't like seeing you scared, that's all. Some how I feel that it's my fault." He cajoled, distracting her with a kiss.
"Oh no. It's not that at all. You're perfect." She muttered. "It's just that, in my dream, The Amber witch keeps on staring at me, no INTO me, and then she cries. And I'm just worried that maybe she sees something in our future that's bad. She is a Seer after all."
"Well, I'll just make sure that you won't be crying in the future then." He assured her, already guiding her out of the library and back their rooms.
"Well, I'm not that worried. I mean, the dream does end on a positive note." She said as they mounted the stairs.
"How does it end?"
"She touches my womb and says 'Don't worry! I'll be with you.'" Hermione said, her face aglow.
He quirked a brow and asked
"Are you trying to tell me something Hermione?"
She blushed and shook her head.
"No. No that. It's just, if we ever have a daughter, I mean, in the future, I'm thinking about calling her Amber."
"How about we get an early start at trying to make her?" He asked with a mischievous smile.
"Now?" Hermione questioned, her eyes wide.
"Now!"
~~~***~~~
"Mommy's waking up!" Amber said excitedly.
Draco looked down at Hermione's face. It was true, her eyelids were fluttering almost imperceptibly. It was a wonder Amber could tell.
"Hermione, darling. Open your eyes. . . . Please."
After what seemed like an eternity, Hermione's eyes opened.
"Draco . . .. you shouldn't do this. Your magic . . ."
"Shhh .. . . I'm powerful enough that this won't affect me. But even if it did, I wouldn't let you die." He crooned.
"But . .."
"Mommy. Are you going to be ok?" Amber asked. Mentally, Draco thanked her for distracting Hermione.
"I . . . I'll be fine Honey." But her eyes were fixed on Draco's. Even now, after all the time they had spent apart, she could still sense what he was feeling. She wasn't going to be fine.
"Don't worry, Hermione. I'll find away . ."
Hermione shook her head. There was no way. She gazed into Draco's eyes, sensing the worry, the concern, and . . . Oh God. . . the love! He loved her so much, even now. It was almost as if the years disappeared, as if the walls of hurt and pain were crumbling away before her eyes. She began to remember the love they had for each other, and the love she had for him before he turned into the monster that he was.
"Amber, . . . listen to me." She said finally.
"Mommy?" Amber's eyes were once again brimming with tears.
"Honey, please. Even when . .. I'm . . . gone, I'll still be with you. I promise."
Amber just shook her head and said "Then take me with you, Mommy! Please, just take me . .. "
"Amber, I need you to do something for me, . . . . something very important." Hermione said, her eyes telling Draco to hold Amber. He did.
"You see Amber, I love you, but I also love your Father, Draco. And I need you to take care of him when I'm gone."
Amber just shook her head.
"Hermione, you're not going to die. I won't let you."
"You can't stop it Draco. You can't keep on pouring your magic into me forever." She argued.
"If that's what it takes, then that's what I'll do." He said resolutely.
"don't you have a world to conquer?" She asked.
"It can wait!"
Hermione sighed. Arguing with Draco was too exhausting, even when she was well. She let her eyes droop.
"Hermione, I'll find a way out of this mess. I promise."
Laboriously, Hermione shook her head.
"You can't die! I love you too damn much." Hermione sighed. Mentally, she answered
'I love you too. More than you'll ever know."
Disclaimer: no, I don't own these characters. Actually, I own Amber, lol, but not entirely. The "Amber Witch" belongs to Elizabeth Lowell (Forbidden), but little Amber was my creation.
A/N: I thought a bit of fluffiness wouldn't hurt.
Hmm. remember, flashbacks are introduced by the ~~~***~~~ sign, and that same sign signals it's end.
P.s. it seems that I'm writing these flashbacks haphazardly, I'm sorry. The flash back in this chapter occurs long before the other ones, as will be evident.
*~~ LOVE WAS NOT ENOUGH: ~~*
-A sequel to I Need You to Love Me.-
CHAPTER 4: The Tie that Binds
"My Lord, there is nothing that I can do! The witch is dying!"
The Healer mumbled, terrified. No one had ever seen Draco Malfoy this way. He had always been in control of his emotions; only his actions belied what his was feeling. But now, but now anyone could sense that his fury was about to be unleashed.
"She is dying, but she isn't dead! You are a healer, heal!" Draco thundered.
"My Lord, the only thing keeping her from death is the magic you are channeling into her. It keeps her heart beating, but that heart is no longer working. It has suffered too many wounds, my lord, wounds that can never be healed!" The healer tried to explain.
"What wounds?" Draco asked icily, his hand already grasping menacingly for his wand.
"Well sir, it seems that urr. her heart had been stabbed before, and it had miraculously healed, but not completely. Even then, her heart was very weak. She would have survived, but she made it worse by bearing a child. That put too much strain on her heart and body, and depleted her of the energy she needed to keep her heart beating. Then, she was hit by the 'lenta mortia' curse, and as you know, seeing as you created it sir, the curse is designed to slowly squeeze the heart and lungs until they . . . ."
"Enough!"
The healer squealed as the table next to him burst into flames, but he did not move. There was no telling what Draco Malfoy would do to him if he did. Silenced filled the air, until finally, the healer explained.
"It is not my fault sir. If she had had the proper healing, the medication, the care before this, perhaps, she could have survived. No sir, she would never have been healthy or strong, but she would have lived. However, she came to me too late. I could have helped her, perhaps, if I met her a year, or half a year ago. But now . . .."
"Leave us!" Draco hissed.
Quickly the healer bowed and exited the room.
****** For hours, Draco held Hermione's hand, pouring his magic into her to keep her alive. But now, now that he was perhaps one of most powerful wizards in the world; he did not have enough magic to save her. He was slowing her death, not protecting her from it. The moment he let go of her hand, her heart would stop beating.
At first, his rage was directed towards her friends. How could they have let her fall this far? Why didn't anyone stop her from giving birth to their child? They must have known, 5 years ago, what the pregnancy would do to her heart, to her body. Damn it! They should have stopped her! And even afterwards, they could have helped her, but they didn't! They could have healed her the moment after she was hit by the 'lenta mortia' curse, but instead, they had left her to die! Those fools! The moment he found them, he would make sure that they all burned in hell.
But later, Draco was forced to realize if Hermione's death was anyone's fault, it was his. If he had stayed with her, waited long enough to find out about their child, he could have convinced her that her life was more precious to him than anything else. And even if she still chose to give birth, he could have been there to make sure that she was properly cared for. Instead, he had condemned her to the life of a fugitive - running from Death Eaters, hiding from his forces, and all the while being alone. It was he who had created the 'lenta mortia' curse. It was his forces that cornered the alliance wherever they went. It was he who had cut off their medical supplies and created more injuries than their healers could deal with. And now, and now he would have to live with the memory of being responsible for the death of the only person he had ever loved.
"Is Mommy dead?"
For a moment, Draco struggled to remember who the child was. Its existence had slipped out of his mind the moment he had realized that Hermione was going to die. But now, now the child would be all he would have left.
"IS MOMMY DEAD?" Amber screamed at the man she was told was her father. He was responsible for this! He was responsible for making her mother die!
"No, not yet. But soon!" Draco said softly, mirroring the despair in the child's voice. He flinched at the anger he saw in his daughter, the anger that was directed towards him.
"Then Heal her! This is Your Fault! Fix it!" Amber screamed as she rushed to her mother's body. She clambered onto the bed, and felt her mother's forehead. It was cold, too cold.
"I can't!" The finality in his voice shocked even him.
"Then why are you here? Go! Get out!" she screamed.
"Because if I let go of her, she WILL die! Now! And I can't let that happen." He snapped back
The large grey pools fixed on his face, searching, seeing the despair that was tearing him apart, the love that he felt for her dying mother, the regret for what could have been.
"You love her, don't you?" She asked, her voice too sage to belong to a four-year-old girl.
Slowly, Draco nodded.
"And she loves you, more than anything." The girl's words was a statement, not a question.
Draco shook his head.
"She loves you more, daughter." He said softly.
"Amber"
"What?"
"My name is Amber."
~~~***~~~
"Hermione, what are you doing here?" He asked, a bit groggily. It was the middle of the night, and instead of being in his warm bead at the Head Boy quarters where he belonged, he was standing in the unheated library wearing an invisibility cloak.
"Oh, I just wanted to look something up. I'll be back in a second." She answered, running her hand quickly along the spine of some books.
"You're in the restricted section." He stated, trying to get her attention.
"Uh hah." Was all he got in reply.
"It's late."
"Ummm"
"Hermione! Look at me when I talk to you." He ordered. Being linked, he could sense that something was wrong. She was scared!
Hermione sighed and looked up at him.
"There is no secret I could hide from you is there?" She asked, but her tone was light; amused.
"Nor I from you. Now spill it. What scared you?" He asked.
"I had a dream." She said simply.
"Another one? You've been getting a lot of those lately, since . ."
"Since I came back from the dead?" She suggested.
"If you must call it that." He acquiesced gruffly.
"Well, I had another one, and I'm beginning to think that they aren't merely dreams. That's why I thought I could look up some more stuff about our . . . . err . . ."
"Past lives?"
Hermione sighed.
"We have to stop finishing each other's sentences, you know. Harry and Ron are beginning to get suspicious." She chided.
"I don't give a damn about what Potter and Weasel, . . I mean Weasley, think. And stop trying to distract me, why are you scared?
"In my dream, I keep on seeing Amber."
"The Slytherin Bride?" he asked. "I thought we freed her when I chose love over power and all that."
"Yes. I thought so too. But I've been seeing her in my dreams so often lately. She's back there, in the forest, crying."
"That's no surprise. That's all she ever does. And why should that scare you?" He said sardonically, ignoring the pang of guilt that was attacking him. It was clear to him, now, that although he had brought Hermione back, he did not choose love over power. Instead, he was trying to have them both.
"You're feeling guilty. Why?" She asked.
He shook his head and pulled her to him.
"Nothing. I just don't like seeing you scared, that's all. Some how I feel that it's my fault." He cajoled, distracting her with a kiss.
"Oh no. It's not that at all. You're perfect." She muttered. "It's just that, in my dream, The Amber witch keeps on staring at me, no INTO me, and then she cries. And I'm just worried that maybe she sees something in our future that's bad. She is a Seer after all."
"Well, I'll just make sure that you won't be crying in the future then." He assured her, already guiding her out of the library and back their rooms.
"Well, I'm not that worried. I mean, the dream does end on a positive note." She said as they mounted the stairs.
"How does it end?"
"She touches my womb and says 'Don't worry! I'll be with you.'" Hermione said, her face aglow.
He quirked a brow and asked
"Are you trying to tell me something Hermione?"
She blushed and shook her head.
"No. No that. It's just, if we ever have a daughter, I mean, in the future, I'm thinking about calling her Amber."
"How about we get an early start at trying to make her?" He asked with a mischievous smile.
"Now?" Hermione questioned, her eyes wide.
"Now!"
~~~***~~~
"Mommy's waking up!" Amber said excitedly.
Draco looked down at Hermione's face. It was true, her eyelids were fluttering almost imperceptibly. It was a wonder Amber could tell.
"Hermione, darling. Open your eyes. . . . Please."
After what seemed like an eternity, Hermione's eyes opened.
"Draco . . .. you shouldn't do this. Your magic . . ."
"Shhh .. . . I'm powerful enough that this won't affect me. But even if it did, I wouldn't let you die." He crooned.
"But . .."
"Mommy. Are you going to be ok?" Amber asked. Mentally, Draco thanked her for distracting Hermione.
"I . . . I'll be fine Honey." But her eyes were fixed on Draco's. Even now, after all the time they had spent apart, she could still sense what he was feeling. She wasn't going to be fine.
"Don't worry, Hermione. I'll find away . ."
Hermione shook her head. There was no way. She gazed into Draco's eyes, sensing the worry, the concern, and . . . Oh God. . . the love! He loved her so much, even now. It was almost as if the years disappeared, as if the walls of hurt and pain were crumbling away before her eyes. She began to remember the love they had for each other, and the love she had for him before he turned into the monster that he was.
"Amber, . . . listen to me." She said finally.
"Mommy?" Amber's eyes were once again brimming with tears.
"Honey, please. Even when . .. I'm . . . gone, I'll still be with you. I promise."
Amber just shook her head and said "Then take me with you, Mommy! Please, just take me . .. "
"Amber, I need you to do something for me, . . . . something very important." Hermione said, her eyes telling Draco to hold Amber. He did.
"You see Amber, I love you, but I also love your Father, Draco. And I need you to take care of him when I'm gone."
Amber just shook her head.
"Hermione, you're not going to die. I won't let you."
"You can't stop it Draco. You can't keep on pouring your magic into me forever." She argued.
"If that's what it takes, then that's what I'll do." He said resolutely.
"don't you have a world to conquer?" She asked.
"It can wait!"
Hermione sighed. Arguing with Draco was too exhausting, even when she was well. She let her eyes droop.
"Hermione, I'll find a way out of this mess. I promise."
Laboriously, Hermione shook her head.
"You can't die! I love you too damn much." Hermione sighed. Mentally, she answered
'I love you too. More than you'll ever know."
Disclaimer: no, I don't own these characters. Actually, I own Amber, lol, but not entirely. The "Amber Witch" belongs to Elizabeth Lowell (Forbidden), but little Amber was my creation.
A/N: I thought a bit of fluffiness wouldn't hurt.