Leliana

I sat in the room that Eamon had assigned to us, glad for the window that ventilated the smoke from the torches. A fire burned bright in the hearth, giving the room a warm glow and me enough ligh tto work. I unpacked my bow in the flickering light, running my hand across the wood and the leather. I sighed as I felt the rough of the leather and the gashes I saw in the surface of the wood.

We have been through quite a lot, my friend. I smiled and knelt, rustling through my packs, pulling out a vial of oil and soft cloth. I am sorry that I have been lacking in my care for you...there was simply so much else to do.

I poured oil onto the cloth and began to rub the oil into the wood of the bow, attempting to gain a few more months of life out of the abused weapon. I studied my bow, the rich hues of the wood, the marks and scars in it, each with their own story. The times that I had been forced to use the delicate weapon to turn aside a darkspawn blade. The times I had heard the wood crack when I pulled back on the string. Too many moments of danger.

Maker...is it wrong that I can look at this instrument of death, this weapon that I never wanted, and feel sorrow. Not sorrow from the wielding of it, but sorrow in the knowledge that this bow will outlive the woman I love. For a new god of mercy, my Maker, you are entirely too cruel. Why did you burden me with this vision if you did not give me the power to change it?

"How is she?" a question echoed over the stones and I nearly dropped my bow. "Forgive me." Salem sat down on the floor, leaning her back against the bed, which I had made my perch. "I did not mean to startle you."

I turned my eyes away from her, attempting to quell the joyous thrumming of blood through my veins.

I must not...give in to this emotion. It will be easier, easier to accept this devastating eventuality if I can simply...resist Salem...I feel as though I have not gazed upon her in years. She enters our bed after I have already succumbed to slumber; she leaves it before the break of dawn.

"She has been through hell." I answered Salem's question, knowing that I spoke of more than my weapon. "But will hold true...at least until after the final battle."

Salem nodded and stared off into the distance, looking much as she had when she was blind. She leaned over and rested her head against my thigh and I winced at the touch, even though I craved her nearness, her security, the indomitable strength that defined her being. Her touch set me on fire in only the best of ways.

"You are not simply speaking of your bow, are you?" she asked, tearing through my illusions as she had ever done, piercing straight to the core of me.

As much as I tried to hide, as much as I simply wished to be the lay sister of the Chantry, you reached past that. You made me reveal the Nightingale; her flaws, her strength, her pain and torment. You are the first person who ever allowed me to be simply...Leliana. I do not know if I will ever be able to thank you enough...or forgive you.

"I am not." I admitted, letting my hair shield my face, loathing the way my skin burned where hers pressed against it.

"Tell me your fears, dear heart." she whispered. "I am afraid I have been remiss. I have stayed away from you too long."

And I have also avoided you.

"Do not apologize." I hastened to speak, to keep my guilt from presenting itself and making my deception transparent.

I could not tell her. Not now.

"You have had much on your mind; wars of the mind to win, a brother with whom to reconnect." I told her, forgiving her completely, because of love.

"There will be time for that later." Salem made the same promise she always had before. And before, it had always been true.

No. There will be no time. Not when the archdemon begins its march. Then our time is done; that which we were will be over.

"As you say." I muttered, returning my attention to my bow.

Salem pushed herself to her feet and stood over me. She took my chin in her hand and lifted my eyes to her face.

"Do not avoid me, Leliana." she said, but it was not an order.

It was a prayer, a whisper, a broken voice at the edge of entire disintegration. I made the mistake of gazing into her eyes, walls crumbling as I felt the love in them wash over me like a spring storm. Her fingers caressed my cheek and I leaned against her strong, scarred, callused palm.

"I have been away too long, but I am here now." she smiled and it was all the radiance of the sun. "Tell me, Leliana."

There were tears in my eyes now, and somehow I felt shamed by them. I could not tell her the entire truth. "I am afraid...to lose you." I whispered, feeling weight lift from my chest.

"I am right here." she told me and my heart cracked.

I set my bow aside and stood, undaunted by Salem's height.

"For how long?" I wanted her to lie to me with all the surety of the earth. I longed for her to convince me that a god had deceived me. "Salem, for...for how long?"

"Until I am but dust in the ground." she answered. "Until every memory of my existence has been extinguished. For as long as Thedas remembers the name of Salem Cousland, they will know that my heart was carried within the hands of the Maker's most beautiful creation. For as long as histories are written, legends told around firesides, and children lulled to sleep with the tales of heroes, I. Will. Be. With. You."

Thank you…for believing that love can transcend time, space, death, and the edicts of the Maker. I have said it before, and I will again, you should have been born a bard.

Suddenly, words were not enough. Assurances were inadequate. I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around her, molding her body to mine. Her strong hand tangled in my hair and held me to her as I wept.

"I love you, Leliana." she whispered and I cried all the harder, ashamed of myself.

Shame that I wished to hide from the future. Shame that I wished to break free of your embrace. There is nowhere in all of Thedas that I would rather be. Nowhere. Not even at the Maker's side.

"I love you." I hugged her tighter against me. "Salem, I am…"

"Here. In this moment. With me. Do not borrow trouble from tomorrow, for both of our sakes." she pressed her lips to my forehead.

Unsatisfied, I lifted my head and caught her lips with my own, pouring my anguish, my sorrow, my secrets into her soul, drinking in her promises, her acceptance, her love. For the first time, I let her be strong for both of us and felt no shame. For that moment, I believed that Salem could defy destiny.

You have faced down dragons and demons and abominations, my warden. What is an Archdemon but another foe to slay? We will come through this trial as we have every one set before us. Victorious…and together…and alive.