What have you done, Alice?

I stood in the living room. My hands were shaking so bad. I felt cold. I reached for mom but she backed away, hit the wall. "Mom." I begged, tears tickling the corners of my eyes. "I'm scared."

"Dear god." She breathed. Her eyes were dead. I remembered being sick a few weeks ago, and she had sat with me on my bed, brushed my hair with delicate fingers and hummed lullabies to me. She washed my burning skin with a cold cloth, helped me fall asleep. Now she was trembling, scared of me, disgusted. "What have you done?"

She asks me again and just as before, I can't answer. I don't know what I've done. I'm so scared, and I'm confused. We were just messing around, I swear that's all we were doing. His hand had gone up my shirt, I'd never felt that way before and then—then he was falling away and his eyes were dull and—and he was gone—

"Mom, please." I gasped. I felt a heavy weight in my chest and I held my arm out for her, took a step closer. She gasped, shivered, and inched herself across the wall, pressing herself as far from me as possible. "It was an accident." I pleaded. "I don't know what's happening, please, mom!"

She runs into the kitchen, tripping over her own feet. She starts to scream and I feel a piece of me tear. She's scared of me. I pass myself in the mirror and I see my hair, skewed, my make up over my face from crying. I look like a monster. I am a monster. I run after mom, find her in the kitchen on the other side of the island, gasping. "Stay away!" she screams. "Stay away from me!"

"Mom, it's me." I beg, stepping forward. "It's me, mom, I swear."

She's shaking her head, her fake curled hair flying, tears running. "No." she cries. "No, you demon, you have my daughter, but you are not her."

My fingers clench into tight fists. I cry out, not any words, just a sound. There's colors all around her. I've seen them for a few months now. They're beautiful, and moving, curling and twisting. I'd just seen them, though. I'd never wanted to feed from them. I watch her, her lights, and I want it, I want those lights for myself, like I did with Jimmy today, in his car—but now he's dead. I killed him.

A shiver courses through my body and I'm gasping. "Mom, I'm so scared." I admit. "I'm so scared. Help me."

I take one more step and she launches half of her body over the counter, grabs a knife from the knife block and holds it in both hands. It shakes; she can't hold it steady, can't hold it up straight to her daughter.

My lips tremble, I see her fear, her self preservation leaking from her. "Mom, it's me." I whisper. "Look at me."

Her eyes aren't looking though. She sees me, sees me crying and walking slowly towards her, but she's not looking. She's not looking for her daughter in me; all she sees is this monster. I place a hand on the cold marble counter top. I helped her pick it out when we bought the house. My body aches for those times, not this, not this moment here, right now. I take a step around, so we're just feet away, facing each other with only the knife to separate us.

"Stay away!" she screamed, but the knife is shaking so bad, she can barely contain it.

I stop, and hold my hands up. They are clean. There is no blood on them, but yet I have a dead body on my conscious. "It's me, mom." I say quietly, biting back any emotion. I need her to see me. I need her to look for me. "It's Alice. It's me, your daughter, and I'm scared. I'm scared and I need you."

Her arms tire, I see shivers run through the muscles, and she lets out a rough gasp before her arms drop to her side. Her eyes are puffed and red and she grinds her teeth together roughly. "Alice." She whispers. I let out a sigh, and know she's seen me, knows she can help me. She's my mom again, not my prey, not someone weaker than me. She's here to take care of me, and I rush forward, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and I hug her. My body tenses as I fight the urge to feed from her light. This is my mother. She will protect me until the day I die, and I will not feed from her, not even if I am in pain and dying, not even if—

There's an awful, awful pressure in my abdomen. My breathe leaves my body and I take a step back as if someone has punched me right in the stomach. I've stopped crying. Emotions don't exist within me in this moment, and all I can see is mom, standing there, body shivering. She won't stop shaking. I tilt my head to the side. Had she punched me? "Mom?" I murmur.

Her arm, trembling so bad, lifts up the knife and she looks at it, her eyes wide and unmoving and I look at it too. Something's dripping from it. Blood. That's blood. "Mom?" I say, and I'm scared.

The pressure reverberates through my body like electrical currents. I look down. I was wearing my white blouse. I had wanted to look good for jimmy tonight. But it was stained, and the crimson patch was growing, and spreading. I was going to have to throw this shirt away.

I shake my head. Mom had—she—I was stabbed.

My legs tremble as bad as her body and I fall to my knees. I make contact with the cold, hard tiles and my knees ache from the impact. Mom drops the knife. My blood splatters out from it across the floor. I look up at her as my hands press into the wound, trying to stop the bleeding, trying to close it. She didn't stab me. It was an accident. She slipped, hadn't realized she was holding it, didn't know what she was doing—

She slowly lowers herself to her knees, so our eyes are on the same level. She's crying again. She doesn't come to me, doesn't help me, and I'm crying too, I'm in so much pain. The wound emits shocks of angering burns through my body. I cough. Something wet is in my throat, and when it comes out, onto the front of my shirt, it's a splatter of blood.

I'm dying.

"Mom, help." I say quietly. My voice lacks all commitment. I see it in her eyes that she won't help me. She sits back on her heals, her arms wrapping around herself, hugging herself. She rocks forwards, and backwards, eyes wide and staring, staring at me, staring at my blood, staring at my death. "Help."

I lean forward, hands touching the tiles. I don't have a grip, and my hands slide in the blood and I'm falling to my stomach, and onto my back, and I'm holding the wound but it's bleeding, and it won't stop. It comes out through my finger tips and out of my shirt, onto the floor. It pools around me until I'm swimming in my own blood. The room is bright. Everything is emanating its own life. I hear mom whimper but more so I feel her, feel her energy, feel it shriveling and locking itself away deep inside her, in a strange way, as if it's not part of her anymore, but hidden, secret, detached.

I reach a blind hand to her. I let go of the wound. I'm dying and it hurts. I never thought about how much it could hurt to die. I figured—I just thought that—

"Mom, I'm sorry." I whisper. "I'm so sorry."

I wake in a painful panic. Horrible tremors pass through my body and I'm lifting my shirt, clawing at the fabric, and running my hands over the smooth skin of my abdomen. No wound, no blood, no—I find the scar with my fingers tips and I pause. A lump forms in my throat. I've had this same dream so many times and I always wake up, always thinking that's all it was, just a dream. I bite my lip and stare at the ragged, ugly thing stretching across.

I feel other chi in the room then. I don't know how I hadn't realized there were others in here, I must have been too preoccupied. I check myself, internally, and yes, I had been feeding. My hands pause their travel over the scars and I'm horrified. I'd been feeding, and I hadn't even realized it. I put up every barrier and slowly glance up and around me.

I'm lying on a wide bed with dark, crimson red sheets. The canopy above me drapes fabric all around. It looks decadent and expensive. The room is dark, with no natural light, only two lamps lit on either side of the bed. There's a bureau, a side table, and a door leading into a bathroom. The other door I assume leads form here.

I look around me quickly, eyes scanning and taking in, and I try to find the people I had been feeding from. They were vampires, I know this. Their taste is . . . unique. I find them, two of them, in a corner, watching me, eyes dead and staring. I see Eric first, his face a mask, but the younger looking man, shorter, boyish almost, I don't recognize.

"Eric?" I say. "W-what happened?"

"You don't remember?" he asks quietly. His voice is tense, and I wondered if he had felt it, felt me feed from his chi.

I bite my lip and think as hard as I can. "I think I was fighting with you." I said awkwardly. "But then, when am I not fighting with you?"

There's a snort, maybe a little bit of a laugh, and I look up sharply, to the new vampire, and I realize that I'm in a room with a vampire I do not know. "Who are you?" I ask, but it comes out sounding harsh and rude. I look to Eric, and he's relatively comfortable in the man's presence. If Eric trusts him, then maybe I should too. I shake my head. "I'm sorry that was . . . rude. I'm just—you know—it's not totally safe to be in a, er, bedroom with a stranger, let alone a vampire."

I clear my throat as the young vampire tilts a corner of his mouth upwards in a ghost of a smile. He looks up to Eric, eyebrows raised, and Eric looks down to him. I get the feeling I'm missing out on some unseen conversation. I'm taken aback when I really, really pay attention to the younger vampires chi. It's so . . . different.

Old. That's the word that comes to me instantly. I've never seen anything like it. It's so thin, and wispy, and moving and twirling and twisting. I'm mesmerized by it, imagining the amount of knowledge it contains, the amount of things he's seen. He was pulsing energy. I felt it through the walls I'd placed up around me, felt myself absorbing him into me even though I forced myself not to. It's amazing. It's one thing to be in the same room with someone this old, let alone to feel them, feel their chi, feel it coursing through my own body.

I let out a low breath.

Eric sighs an unnecessary breath and glance to him as he looks to me. "Alice." He says gruffly. "Meet Godric."

*********************E****************

Eric watched her from the corner of the room, buff arms crossed over his chest. She was a restless sleeper. He'd come to her house some nights, waited outside her window, and watched her toss and turn. Was it creepy? Probably, but he was a Viking vampire, and anything he did was creepy.

She whispered illegible things in her sleep, she moaned and she cried and turned around. The sheets tangled in her legs. He'd thought about removing her clothes, nothing sexual, just for her own comfort. But when she awoke, he had no intentions of dealing with the hell she would give him.

He let out a small breath, and leaned back against the wall. She tossed herself onto her back, her hand splaying across her stomach, the other up and to the left of her head. Her hair stuck to her lip, and every time she breathed, it fluttered about. His chest tightened, remembering her just a short few hours ago, in the parking lot, wild and crazed and releasing all that energy.

She'd placed it into him. He was sure of it, had felt it. It knocked the hypothetical breathe out of him and he was flying through the air, twisting and turning and it was all her. He could still feel it, her energy, feel it coursing through him. He took a deep breath in through his nose, inhaled the scent of her, and decided that yes, her energy was still in him, still moving. He imagined how it would feel to be like this all the time, feel this energy all the time coursing through your veins. It was almost too much to take, and he had had it within him for less than three hours.

His phone went off in his pocket and with vampiric speed, he grabbed it from the back of his pants and answered it before it could wake Alice. He spoke quietly. "Yes."

"He's here." It was Pam, and her voice was equally hushed. Eric's eyes rested on the girl as her breathing slowed down, and she entered a deeper REM cycle. He let out a sigh and flipped the phone off. He left her in comfort, knowing that at least for a few hours, she'd be resting silently.

He left the room and made his way through the less appeasing parts of Fangtasia's basement. Eric's first instinct had been to take her to one of his safe houses. After she had passed out, she hadn't been breathing for almost thirty seconds. But she started gasping for breath, started shaking, started mumbling something about her mother, and afterwards she was fine. Pam convinced him to take her down into the cellar of Fangtasia, to his emergency light tight room he used in case of a late night.

After Alice and her . . . incident, Fangtasia cleared out. Eric dealt with the cops for a while, glamouring everyone who may have seen Alice and her energy outburst. Everyone was upset about their cars, all of the windows being blown out, but Eric didn't give a fuck.

Pam was in the main room of Fangtasia, leaning against the bar. "You couldn't have walked down a flight of steps to get me?" Eric snapped, walking past her.

"I didn't know if you and the girl were getting down and dirty." Pam drawled. "He's in your office."

Eric stalked past her and down the short hallway, pausing outside his office door for only a fraction of a second before entering. Godric stood with his back to him, his arms hanging by his sides. He didn't look back to Eric, only ran a hand over the open folders and papers scattered over his desk. "Seems as if you and Pam are doing well." He commented.

Eric stood still for a moment, silently, until Godric turned around to face Eric. His boyish face broke out into a gentle smile. "Hello my child." He said softly. "It's been too long."

Eric returned his smile and walked the short distance separating him and his maker to pull him into a tight embrace. "It's good to see you, Godric." Eric said into his makers hair.

Godric released him first and took a seat on the other side of the desk. He motioned to Eric to sit behind his desk, and Eric obliged without question. He was exhausted, and it was still a few hours until he had to rest. He collapsed into his chair with a grunt, and looked at Godric from across the desk. "Pam informed me of a girl." Godric said, his voice quiet and lack of any emotion.

Eric watched his maker carefully, but couldn't read anything through their bond, had no clue what Godric was thinking. His maker had raised him to despise humans for everything but their blood and bodies. Of course Godric has changed, is still changing. He's quieter now, if the boy in front of him proves anything, and he's subtle. He almost cares for the humans, respects them in a way. But that didn't mean he wasn't angry at Eric for taking a human down to his light tight room, giving her shelter, and not even feeding from her, not taking her blood as it was rightfully his.

"She's . . . special, apparently." Godric mused, titling his head to the side. Eric watched the trail of his tattoo peaking out of the neck of his shirt. He's seen them a million times, for a thousand years, and knew them by heart but they fascinated him every time he saw them in person, on his skin. Beautiful. "And you haven't claimed her."

Eric eyes snapped to Godric's. "No." He said quietly. "No I haven't."

"That's dangerous, Eric." Godric warned. "If someone else were to figure out about her gifts, then they could claim her. And depending on the vampire, that could be very, very bad. For the girl, and for everyone else."

Eric didn't say anything, because he knew. He's thought about it for a while. It'd be safer for the girl. She wouldn't have thought about it like that for a while, maybe never. She'd hate Eric for taking away that part of her freedom, even though it wouldn't be his intent to take it away, only protect it. And he was going to do it, he had gone to her house one night. He stood out on her porch, prepared to get her to invite him in. He'd seduce her, bite her, and claim her. But he stood there and he watched her, sleeping on her couch, still in her uniform. She was mumbling again. Her shirt had ridden up and she was holding onto her scar with both hands, holding onto it like it was still fresh and she was trying to contain her life.

And he found he couldn't do it, couldn't wake her and take her away, take her freedom, claim her and her blood and her body. He couldn't do it until she wanted it too. Of course he wasn't so noble as to just leave her be. He fully intended to claim her, every bit of her. He'd wear her down until she caved, but when she did, he would not hesitate. But for a strange and awful reason, he wanted her to want him as badly as he needed her.

Godric sat still through his silence, wise and old eyes gazing at his son. "Very well then." Godric sighed. "We will have to keep her secret, then, for at least a little while."

The corner of Eric's lips turned up. How could he have doubted his makers reaction? Of course he'd support Eric, in anything he did, even in his mistakes. "Thank you, Godric." Eric says softly.

Godric takes in a deep breath, tasting the room, and lets out the breath slowly. "She's here." He says, not a question, but a statement. Eric nods once. "What can she do?"

Eric cleared his throat and sat up a bit straighter. "She can manipulate energies." Eric informed. "I think she feeds off of them. It's very sexually based. She was in the club last night, and the atmosphere drove her to feed beyond her limits. We were in the parking lot and she blew me across the gravel without touching me, and burst all the windows in every car. It's quite exceptional."

"Hm." Godric muttered. Eric watched his eyes distance themselves, a look he was familiar with. Godric was remembering. And with having two thousand years under his belt, he had a lot of things to remember. Eric sat in silence, letting his maker think. "I'd like to meet her." He said finally.

"Do you have an idea of what she is?" Eric asked, his voice sounding more strained than he had wanted it to.

Godric's face was blank. "I'm not sure. I think that maybe . . . but it would be impossible. Yes, I'd like to see her."

The two vampires stood and exited the office. Eric led the way slowly through the basement and to his room. He was quiet when he opened the door, and surprised to see Alice restless once more. Did the girl ever sleep soundly?

He stepped aside to let Godric in. The older vampire stopped halfway through the door, eyes hard on the young woman. He watched his makers nostrils flare as he inhaled her scent, breathed it wholly into him. And then Godric did something odd. He growled deep in his chest, and his fangs extended, eyes never leaving the girl, tossing and turning. Eric stepped in front of his maker, arms wide, feeling a strong and painful urge to protect the weak girl. "Godric, settle yourself." Eric said.

Godric looked up at Eric, eyes on fire, fangs shining. "Do you not recognize her scent?" he growled, his voice menacing and cutting. "How dangerous she is to us, to everything?"

Eric glanced back at Alice, weak, pale, having a nightmare and sweating and crying out for her mother. No, she didn't look dangerous to him. Not at all. "Godric, you're mistaken, whatever you think she is—"

Both vampires were taken aback by a strong, and very pronounced pull deep within their chests. Eric's arms fell to his side and he turned back to Alice, watched her weeping in her sleep. His skin felt on fire, pleasantly tingling. His hands started to shake. He felt . . . alive. His dead heart ached from the feeling, ached from the sheer magnitude of it all. Of feeling alive, after being dead for so long. He knew it was Alice, it was so obvious. She was feeding in her sleep. He should feel insulted, angry, stopped her, killed her, claimed her, did something that resembled his nature, but he couldn't. He could only feel what she was doing to him, what it felt like to have her feed, what all those humans felt when she fed from them.

Godric stood by his side, feeling similar things, but he did not share the mesmerizing characteristics that Eric was portraying. When Eric looked down to his maker, he saw something completely opposite. He saw a sadness deep within his makers eyes. Godric looked up to Eric and shook his head. "You have no idea how dangerous she is, my child." He said softly.

"Mom, help." Alice gasped. Eric's head snapped back to the girl. It was the first time he had heard her speak something clearly in her sleep. She clutched at her abdomen, her fingers clawing at the skin. "Mom, I'm sorry." She whispers. Her heart is racing, both vampires can hear it, hear her blood pumping and running beneath her delicate skin. "I'm so sorry."

She woke up quickly, and unexpectedly, screaming into the room. She pulled and clawed at her shirt, completely unaware of the vampires in the room, watching her with curious eyes as she ran her hand across the smooth skin, frantic, and then pausing as they touch the scar. Eric watches her body sag as her finger tips danced over the raised skin.

She seems to realize then that she is in a different place, somewhere she doesn't recognize, and looks around, finally her eyes settling on Eric and Godric. Eric fights a startled jump when he feels that connection, feels his energy flowing into Alice, suddenly cut right off. It almost hurts. He watches her closely, see's her guilty and slightly horrified eyes. She must have realized she'd been feeding. "Eric?" she asks, and her voice is shaking. "W-what happened?"

Eric tilts his head to the side. "You don't remember?"

Her eyes cloud over as she attempts to remember anything at all. "I think I was fighting with you. But then, when am I not fighting with you?"

Godric laughs then, and Eric looks to him, startled. Just moments ago Godric had had all intentions to attack the girl, he had seen the animal in his eyes. "Who are you?" Alice asks, her voice almost accusing. Eric looks up at her, a warning on the tip of his tongue to respect Godric, when she shakes her head. "I'm sorry, that was . . . rude." Eric is shocked. She's apologizing, and he's certain that's the first time she's ever done that. He wondered, almost amazed, at what she had tasted in Godric's chi, if she could have understood how old he is, how much he should be respected. "I'm just – you know—it's not totally safe to be in a, er, bedroom with a stranger, let alone a vampire."

Eric feels Godric look up to him, eyebrows raised, as if waiting for an introduction. He sighs and glances to Alice, who's staring at Godric with curious eyes, her head titled to the side. He's taken off guard by the ache in his chest, just looking at her, sitting on his bed, hair tussled and messed around, and innocent. She looked young and pure with that curious little look in her eyes. Godric clears his throat quietly, so only Eric can hear, and jerks Eric from his daze. "Alice." He says gruffly, shaken from what he had just felt. "Meet Godric."

*****************A***************

I was sitting up in Eric's office, prying at a hangnail. Eric and Godric had told me to wait in here, and I was doing as I was told, but my heart had not stopped racing since I had woken up. I felt . . . odd. I could feel the vampires energy inside of me and it was so different. I'd only ever tasted a vampire, never actually fed like I had. It felt . . . cold. Dead. But tingly, like it was dancing through my veins. It wasn't sustaining me, but it was intriguing enough.

I contemplated running. I had come to the conclusion upon waking up to trust Godric because Eric trusted him. But that begged the question as to how much I even trusted Eric. I had been unconscious for god knows how long, and he could have, you know, bitten me or something. He could have left me in the parking lot. He could have killed me. He could have dumped me at the hospital or even drop me off at home. But he had put me in his own bed, unharmed.

I started chewing on my finger nails, having successfully torn away the hangnail. The door behind me opened and I jumped to my feet, looking behind me. Eric walked in cautiously, eyeing me in an odd way, followed by a calm Godric who takes a quiet seat on the leather sofa. I sat slowly back into the worn wooden chair, watching Eric's face behind his desk, holding his elbow in one hand and his chin in the other.

"Godric knows what you are." Eric says finally, after the silence started to become suffocating.

I glanced over to Godric, who watched me with cautious and wary eyes. "Oh?" I asked. I hadn't told anyone, not even Sookie, what I was. I mean, I guess the blonde could have told someone about my abilities, but I hadn't directly told her what I was. There was no way the message could have relayed back to Godric. Unless he could smell it in my blood. Was that possible? I mean, I could taste differences in someone chi, why not in the blood also?

"I thought you might like to know." Godric said quietly. I looked over to Eric, unsure, but he was looking at Godric with anticipation. Godric must not have told him yet.

I shake my head. "I already know." I state simply. Eric looks at me sharply, eyebrows raised.

"Excuse me?" he asks.

I sigh. He looks so . . . disheveled. It's completely maddening, seeing his blonde hair on end, his jacket wrinkled, his shirt hung over his muscles and his face contorted in what was now anger and confusion. I wanted to attack him, but figured it'd be awkward with Godric sitting right there.

I shrug my shoulders. "I've always known." I say. I'm confused. Had he thought I had no idea of who I was, what I was capable of? I wasn't Sookie. I wasn't okay with knowing I had a few powers, but never pursuing the answers to them. I spent a decent five or six years searching for answers and I found them. Eric must have thought, though, that all freaks were like Sookie, unable to figure themselves out. I found it insulting.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he roared, throwing his hands in the air and sitting harshly in his desk chair. "I've spent over a week trying to figure it out."

I shrugged again. "I never told you that I didn't know who I was." I defended myself. "You just never asked."

His eyes were flaming, as if he was telling me this was no excuse. I thought it was a perfectly good one. "What are you." He asks directly.

I glance to Godric, who's face is stony, as if he is witnessing my own funeral. I swallow thickly and look back to Eric. "I'm—well I'm a—you know it's, like, well, sort of—"

"Godric." Eric cut off my stuttering. I swore under my breath. I thought I had been buying time to decide whether or not to even tell him, but I guess I forgot how much of an impatient prick he was. I felt the tightening of hunger in my stomach, and wrapped my arm around my abdomen, trying to hide my discomfort. Feeding from Eric and Godric had been filling for a moment, but their chi was weak, and I had used it already, just to breathe and live. No wonder I'd never fed from a vampire before, at least not as thoroughly as I had done before.

"Yes, Eric." Godric sighs, rolling his eyes over to the taller vampire. I smile, knowing Godric can tell exactly what Eric wants. Maybe him and I are more alike than I thought.

"Tell me." Eric pleads. He looks between Godric and me, and I can tell he absolutely hates being the only one out of the loop.

Godric opens his mouth, and I know he's going to say it, but I burst into the conversation. "Look, the history of my kind isn't pretty." I said quickly. "I researched it for a few years, I asked around and went to plenty of libraries. I'm not like that, is what I'm trying to say. Seriously, though. They were monsters and evil, and then they were used and abused and I swear, seriously, I'm calmer and less . . animalistic, then they were."

"I don't even know who 'they' are!" Eric erupts.

Godric is looking at me sharply, and I know he's judging me. I wondered if he was old enough to have lived through the eras I read about, when my kind would go around killing and feeding. I wondered if he was part of the group of vampires who had helped eradicate them all. I swallowed and looked away, unable to take his gaze, and the power behind it.

"Tell him." Godric says to me. I peek up at him, my heat fluttering. "Alice." Godric says, flatly, and I groan.

"Fuck it." I snap. "I've told you I'm not like them, I guess you guys can judge for yourselves." I pause, and swallow, and glance up at Eric. Why am I so nervous? Why do I even care how Eric would look at me after this, how badly he could judge me. "I'm a succubus, Eric." I say softly.

I look at my hands in my lap, twiddling my thumbs. It's quiet in the room. I try to not feel his chi, but it's like trying to not blink. You can stop it for a while but then your eyes sting and water, and you can't help it until you blink. I feel his turmoil. It's shocking, how ferocious it is.

I throw my hands in the air, and stand. "I told you I'm not like those other women." I explain. "They killed and fed until they were full, then they did it again and again. And I know you guys killed them all, I get it, they were monsters, but seriously, I'm not like that. I feed only when I have to, and I do my best to keep the person alive."

Eric's internal turmoil pauses for a moment as he glances at me. "You've killed?" he asks, surprised.

I feel shame leak through my entire body, and it burns. "I don't mean to." I gasp. I feel an urge to cry and I hate that, because I haven't cried in years. Of course the first time will be in front of two old, very powerful vampires. "I- I get so hungry sometimes and then I can't stop and you don't know what it's like, to feel so empty inside, without all the energy. It hurts so bad, hurts someplace so deep inside and I can't stand it."

Eric's head tilted to the side. "That night, after I saved you, a man was reported dead in Shreverport. He had no trauma of any kind on his body, except for a bruise on his neck."

I swallowed, seeing the unsaid question in his eyes, and nod. "But he was a bad person." I say, looking to Godric because I have a desperation in me to explain myself, tell them I'm not a bad person, I'm really not.

"How could you have known that?" Godric wonders. I now he's not accusing me, I can hear it in his voice, feel it in his chi. He's curious.

I clear my throat and shift awkwardly on my feet. "I can feel it in their chi." I say.

"Chi?" Eric asks.

I nod. "Yeah, it's like a Chinese word for life force. I never would have used it but in one of the books I read, they kept referring to life force as chi. I just thought it was easier to say."

"Can you feel my chi, and Eric's?" Godric asks. I turn to him and nod. "What do you feel?"

I sigh and shift again. The hunger in the pit of my stomach is starting to itch away at me, begging me to feed. It's going to be difficult to concentrate soon. "Is this really necessary?" I ask.

"Yes." Eric answers for Godric, his voice tight. I look at him, and his eyes are clouded and dark and I cringe away from the look. Stop judging me, I want to scream. Just stop!

"Godric's is old." I tell them quietly. "He's tired. It's thin and weak because he's lived so long, it just drifts away sometimes."

I stop talking for a moment. Just talking about it makes me want to taste it, just a tiny bite of the life force, but I slap away the thought. This vampire could kill me before I could even bat an eyelash.

"And me?" Eric asks, voice dangerously low.

I don't look at him when I answer, merrily just wish I was out of this cramped office and somewhere open, somewhere feeding . . . "You're angry." I whisper. "And you're confused and you're in turmoil. Your emotions are everywhere. You want to kill me, then you don't want to kill me. You can't figure out who you are anymore, who Eric is and it's pissing you off."

I stare at the wall somewhere over Eric's shoulder, pretending I see something fascinating. Eric doesn't say anything for a while. "Godric, can you give us a moment?"

Uh oh. Don't go, Godric, I think he might seriously kill me now. But Godric does go, without a word or anything, he stands and leaves and shuts the door quietly behind him. "Look at me, Alice."

I don't look at him, not until there's a breath of wind on my neck and he's standing tall and mighty in front of me. He rests a cool finger under my chin and tilts my head back. I swallow.

"What do you want from me?" I ask.

He releases my chin but now he's caught me in his gaze and I can't look away. His cool fingers trail down my arm, leaving a strand of fire on my skin. My breath comes out in quick gasps, until his fingers touch at my abdomen, over my scar. I take a sharp step away, hugging my arms around my stomach, covering myself. "I want to know what happened to your stomach." Eric says.

I shake my head vehemently. "No, not that."

Eric tilts his head to the side, watching me with a curious expression. "Why would you leave a scar on your body if you can heal anything?"

I feel the raised skin from under the thin fabric of my shirt, and my voice gets caught in my throat. I wonder how he had seen the scar, but then again, it was completely obvious. I know I move and thrash in my sleep. He must have seen me before, seen the scar on my stomach while I slept. "You can't heal scars." I snap.

"You can." Eric argues.

I sat down roughly on the sofa Godric had vacated just moments before. Eric remained where he was, but leaned backwards against his desk though. "You were talking about your mother in your sleep." Eric commented.

I looked at my shoes, knowing he was burning holes into my, trying to judge my reaction. "So?"

"You said you were sorry." He plowed on. Did he not know when someone wanted to keep their past hidden? Jesus the guy was so pushy. "Why were you sorry?"

"Because I'm a monster!" I cried. I just wanted him to stop asking, stop making me remember. "I'm a monster and I made her lose her daughter. I was so sorry for her, so sorry she had to have me, whatever I am, whatever I can do, as a daughter instead. I ruined her life."

I didn't hear Eric walk, or even move, but suddenly he's in front of me again and pulling me to my feet with a strong grip on my arms, unwinding my grip from my stomach. His hand, so impossibly large, rests over the scar, covering it completely with cold hands. "I'm sorry." He mutters softly.

I want to kiss him. Not because I'm hungry or because I'm a succubus and this is my nature, but because his eyes are so soft and his mouth looks so . . . available. I push him away from me, gasping for breath. "I know you don't care Eric, so just stop." I snap. I close my eyes and try to gain control, but he's shaken me, and I can't get back into myself. "I need to feed."

"I'll get someone."

"No, Eric, let me go, and I'll come back." I argue, looking up at him.

He shakes his head. "You don't know the entire history of your people." He says quietly. "You don't know what you are capable of. I'm afraid you can't leave, not until we've . . . sorted some things out."

My stomach drops, even though I had known that this might be the case. "I need to feed, though." I argue, although only half of my heart is in it.

"I told you, I'll bring in someone."

I shake my head and sigh. The thick headed bastard is so stupid. "No, Eric. I need to feed." He looks at me, and I know he doesn't get it still. "I'm a succubus, Eric. And I need to feed. Connect the dots, here, big guy."

His eyes widen inaudibly before he regains himself, and smiles down at me. "Well I'm right here, and I'll be glad to service you."

"You mean to be at my service." I correct.

He shakes his head. "No, I don't mean that."

I swallow thickly and there's a tantalizing pull that wants me to take him up on the offer, but it'll be stupid. Not because of the sex, no, that wouldn't be stupid. Because I'm hungry, though. "Eric, your chi doesn't sustain me. I need a human. And I don't want to do it in here, not with a bunch of vampires listening."

He seems slightly disappointed, then shrugs his massive shoulders. "It's either do it here, or don't do it at all."

"Eric!"

"Sorry, that's the way it is." But he's not sorry, if that big shit eating grin tells me any different.

I push at his chest and step around him. "Fine. You are such an asshole, Eric."

*****************E*************

"Oh FUCK!"

Eric sat at the bar, hands gripping the counter top so tight it crumbled under his grip. Godric sat beside him, smiling with such amusement the likes of which Eric hadn't seen in a long time. Pam twirled a blond strand of hair over her finger, listening carefully to Alice and her . . . companion, in the back room.

"Oh my god, you're so beautiful." The man in there said, and Eric growled. No one should be touching her but him.

"Shut up." Alice was panting.

Eric ran a hand through his hair and tried to gain control of himself, but then Alice moaned, no words just a sound and he almost ran to the back room and tore the door from its hinges, tearing that man limb from limb. Only Eric should make her moan like that. Only he should be in her, making her cry out.

"Eric, please." Pam drawled, rolling her eyes. "I doubt that man will mind if you join. You glamoured him enough anyways."

Eric shakes his head. "She'd stake me."

"That's never stopped you before." Godric points out, and it infuriates him that he even finds the need to state that. Of course it hasn't stopped him before, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that it's stopping him now.

There were two or three rooms in Fangtasia with long couches in case a few vampires got touchy, and wanted to feed. It was illegal, yes, but that's why Eric sent them to the back rooms, where no one could see them. He could hear them, hear the couch shaking and moving with their thrusts and grunts and movements.

"Shit, stop moving." Alice panted. "Fucking stop, just lay there, Jesus."

Eric smirked. He could help her better, could fuck her better than that kid ever could. He'd ruin any other man for her. Alice let out a loud moan, and Eric growled. Now she was just doing it to piss him off, he knew that.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Alice growled, and Eric smirked again. "No, just lay there, what the fuck—Eric you got me a fucking virgin? Asshole!"

She knew he could hear him, and he smiled. He could deal with it a bit better, knowing that the kid had no idea what he was doing, know she wasn't enjoying it as best as she could. Only he will make her scream.

"Really, Eric?" Godric sighs. "You couldn't just let her feed?"

"Not from some guy." Eric growls.

"But from you, that's fine." Godric states.

Eric nods once, listening to Alice's complaints over the kid, but that didn't help him from knowing the boy was fucking her just a few hundred feet away, and he couldn't stop them.

"We need to discuss what to do with the situation." Godric said finally.

Eric looked over to his maker. "The situation? What situation?"

Godric raised his eyebrows. "She's a succubus, in case you forgot."

"A succubus?" Pam said, shocked. She straitened up and let her fangs out. "What the fuck are you doing, Eric."

"Check yourself, Pam." Eric said low and threateningly. Pam quieted, but her fangs remained out, her eyes furious, but scared.

"And you, Eric." Godric warned. "You know we can't ignore this. She doesn't even know why her race was exterminated."

"She thinks it's because they were monsters." Eric states, wincing as Alice groaned from the other room.

"We're monsters." Godric corrected. "They were just sex crazed things."

Eric ran his hand through his hair again and growled. "What do we do?"

"The simplest way would be to kill her." Godric said. Eric was on his feet in a flash, fangs extended, a growl ripping through his chest. Pam took a step back, watching her maker with wide eyes. She retracted her own fangs. Godric remained calm, barely moved besides lifting one hand to Eric. "However that isn't going to happen, considering your . . . relationship."

Having that being said out loud, Eric paused, retracting his fangs and staring at Godric. Relationship? No, Eric Northman did not have relationships. He fucked girls, drank blood, and killed. There was no room for relationships.

"So we can protect her from herself." Godric continued, taking advantage of Eric's momentary lapse in anger. "Do you know if she has had any contact with witches?"

Eric straightens and shakes his head. "I don't think so. She's friends with Sookie, and the shifter at the bar. That's it for the supernatural."

Godric nods his head. "Good. We need to keep it that way. If the witches find out a succubus is still alive, then we're as good as dead. No pun intended."

"Are there even witches out there who know the ritual anymore?" Pam asks.

Godric glances back to her. "We need to assume there are, rather than not."

Pam nodded her head. "She can't stay here." She says.

"The hell she can't." Eric growls.

"Hush, Eric." Godric commands. "Pam is right. If we just keep her here, then it'll draw attention to her. It's best to leave her to her normal routine."

"I don't like that." Eric admits. "What if I'm wrong, and she has had contact with witches?"

Godric sighs. "Then god help us all."

It was a dim, sullen moment, shattered by Alice's screamed orgasm. Eric's shoulder hunched forward and he growled low in his chest. He could hear Alice's heart, drumming. He heard her dress, heard the boy praising her, on her body, her beauty, begging her to stay, to take him with her, they could live forever, happy, he'd love her.

Alice walked from the room, buttoning up her blouse. A sheen of sweet lined her forehead. Eric gave her a look filled with anger and death, and when she glanced up, she smiled. "For a virgin he sure knows how to work around a woman." She sighs.

Eric snarls as the boy runs out after her, trying to button his pants, leaving his shirt in the room. "Alice, wait! I love you!"

Her playful look dropped and she let out a low breathe, rolling her eyes. Eric was about to grab the kid and rip him apart when Alice turned first, catching the boys wrist in her hand. "I think you should go home." She sighs. "Go brag to your friends that you totally scored with some chick."

The boy's eyes widened, and then dulled. He nodded. "O-okay."

Alice dropped her hand t her side and turned back to Eric, but paused when she saw the look on his face. "What?" she asked.

"What the hell was that?" Eric demanded.

She looked over her shoulder, to the boy walking in a daze, still shirtless, out the door. "Remember how I made you slap yourself?" she asked.

Pam's giggle made the anger he felt then come back to life, but Godric was at his side, placing a calming hand on his arm. "You know their manipulative skills, Eric, this is not news to you." Godric reminded him. Eric nodded sharply.

"So, um, are we done here?" Alice asks, moving her hand around. "I've got work tomorrow—or today, actually what time is it?"

Eric shook his head. "No, we have a lot to figure out."

"Eric." Godric said softly. "Let her go home." The older vampire gives the younger a sharp look, and Eric gets the message clearly. He looks to Alice, whose eyes are filled with confusion. She can't know what she is capable of. Eric knows for certain that she would never use her gifts against him or his vampire race. But her knowledge of herself could come back to bite them all in the ass. Curiosity killed the succubus, or something like that. Godric turned to Alice and offered her a kind smile. "Can you come back here tomorrow night?"

She bit her bottom lip, and Eric was struck with a strong surge of want, of need, to bite that lip, ravish her body. He held back a growl, a moan, any noise, although inside he was on fire. "I guess I can, but it'll be really late. I'm working until one, I can make it over there afterwards, I guess."

Godric nodded. "That will be fine. Go home, get some rest, and we will see you tomorrow."

Godric gave Eric one last look before walking from the room. Pam, silent and still as a statue, looked between Eric and Alice and exited the room soon after Godric, leaving the two alone. Alice watched Pam leave, them looked back to Eric, her eyes guarded. "Thank you for giving me a place to rest." She said, her voice tense.

Eric smirked. He didn't like how she got so tense and guarded and hidden around him, not like this. He liked it when he said something a certain way, and the smallest of gasps left her mouth and she shifted her position to stifle the ache between her legs. He liked it when she chewed on her lip, and looked over at him with hooded eyes.

Alice swallowed, and looked at Eric. He wondered what she saw in his chi, if she saw the turmoil twisting through his entire body, his whole being. She tried to say something, couldn't so she cleared her throat, and tried again. "You should rest." She said in an awkward voice. "You seem stressed."

He let out a loud laugh that made her jump in surprise. "Thank you for your concern." He took a step closer to her, but she stood her ground. He saw the need in her eyes to run away from him, but her own stubbornness held her feet to the floor. He moved so they were inches apart and he could hear her heart beat hammering in her chest, her breathing coming in short ragged gasps. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet, and he smiled wider. That there, that urge to fight the need she felt for him, is what he liked. "You could help me with that, you know." He whispered, real quiet, eyes sparking.

"Help yourself with that." She said, trying to sound witty, but her voice shook.

He gave her a shit eating grin. He had been helping himself with that, ever since she started refusing him. "It's not healthy, to deny yourself what your body wants." He hummed, trailing a cold finger down her slender neck and across her collar bone. She shivered, and the beast within him purred in delight. "And we both know what you want."

He leaned down, sighing onto her cold skin, and she breathed into him, body arching into his, and a devious grin plastered his face. Until a small hand pressed against his chest, pushing. He didn't move at first, just stood there, breathing her in, fighting the urge to just do it, bite her, take her. Fuck it. He didn't need her to care about him. She was a mortal. He was a vampire. He was more powerful and older and god damn it he wanted it. But he did stand up, and it aggravated the fuck out of him that he did.

Her eyes were closed. She kept her hand on his chest, and he wondered what she was thinking while she caught the breathe he had taken and marveled in the warmth of her hand. "I think you should try to calm whatever it is your fighting with, inside of you, before you do anything stupid." She said softly.

Eric jerked back away from her, the moment ruined. Calm himself? Calm what? And who was she to tell him, a vampire, what he should do. Despite himself, however, he felt inside and he could feel the turmoil and the havoc wrecking his entire body. He felt the chaos. He felt like roaring and then hitting something, breaking something. But Alice stood in front of him, opening her eyes, staring at his feet, taking calming breathes. She was his turmoil, and it infuriated him. He was the calm one, the confident one, but she, this thing, was wrecking him from the inside out.

"See you tomorrow." She said, glancing up at him quickly, sighing when she saw his expression, and turned around, disappearing through the door. He was going to chase after her, even took a step, two steps, before he caught sight of the sunrise, and the lightening of the sky, and stopped. He watched the door close on her form and he was left in silence. He could hear her footsteps walking across the parking lot, and pause beside her car.

"Jesus Christ I fucking wrecked my car." He heard her groan. He straightened, brushed his hair from his eyes with one sweep of his hand, and smiled. He'd deal with this tomorrow.