Across the Crowd
By Hannio
Chapter Four
Noticing you
DISCLAIMER: None of the Digimon characters are mine
AUTHOR NOTE: Ok here I am again finally updating. I must firstly apologies for it being so late, I never meant it to but I've been so busy it's not fair.
This is TK's chapter but it's his inner thoughts and at the moment he's an angry boy, full of teenage angst. Remember this is an A/U so he was never a digi destined and never experience the closeness between them all. Erm you'll understand when you read it.
Hope you enjoy it and the next chapter is finally going to be Yama and this time it will be up a hell of a lot quicker. :Promise
Takeru Takashi POV (TK)
He was a sure fire player any idiot could tell that Ken would get in, the boy had skills at soccer and no one could take that away from him. Or so I personally thought. That was my view before the soccer try out, that Is still my view Ken was going to be in the team but so was Davis.
I tilted my head as I watched him through narrow eyes. Oh yes I knew who Daisuke was, people thought that I only saw my group of friends, that no one else in the school made any dent or impression on me, that was of course plain stupidity, of course people did, that was what shaped me as a person after all, made me the way I am.
I'm not a nice person. I know people think that with fair skin, blond hair and blue eyes I would be like the angel I physically resemble but no. I have the usual human emotions and like most people I allowed them to take over me and control me. I feel anger and pain, happiness and sadness. I was a pro with guilt as an emotion, after all it was Yama and I who destroyed our parents' marriage and we both knew it.
There was one other emotion I was familiar with on a regular basis. Hatred. The focus of my hate I was staring at right now. He was grinning at something Tai was saying to him. Chestnut hair gleaming in the overhead sunlight, tanned skin clear against the white of his t-shirt and if I had learnt anything about him then his brown eyes would be sparkling. God I hated him. Did he know how lucky he was? He had parents who were still together and who loved him more than anything. He was allowed to live his sister; anyone who knew Yama and me knew that it wasn't even an option. I lived with my mum; he lived with Dad, not together but separated. He was good looking but in a normal way, I doubted he got stupid comments over having blond hair and blue eyes in a country that was predominately made of dark eyed and haired people. His friends would die for him and rally round him if he ever needed them to; I severely doubted whether or not anyone but Yama would do the same to him. How could I not hate him when he simply has everything, everything that I can't have.
He suddenly looked over at me and his eyes caught mine, he looked surprised at me, probably because I was standing there surrounded by smiling people who were smug over Ken's success and I was glaring at him. He probably thought that everyone would be jumping up and down for him, oh look a misfit got into the soccer team. I shook my head and turned my attention away from him and walked away from the group I could still feel his eyes burning into my back. He could get stuffed.
"Keru?" I stopped immediately and looked round to see my brother walk up, somehow he had managed to get away from his hoards of fans, male and female
"What's up Yama?" I asked once he had joined me, he gave me a probing look then frowned slightly at what he saw. I wondered vaguely what exactly it would be but gave up, who cared
"I was going to ask you the same thing" he replied softly, he rarely raised his voice, some crap explanation about singing and he didn't want to strain his voice.
"What makes you think something is wrong big bro?" I questioned making sure I kept my voice friendly, he'd probably see right through it but it was worth a try, I was right, his frown became more pronounced
"Because I know what you're like and I saw you glaring at that Daisuke kid, the goofball, like you hated him. I don't blame you for that emotion but you should be more careful with who you let see it" I nodded numbly, of course how could I have forgotten. We were the special ones, we were never meant to show our dislike but hide it behind a smile, like in the hallway when I saw him with Hikari, the girl from the paper, I had smiled sweetly at them, well more smirked at them, leaving them unsettled but they deserved it. They should be grateful; if I had gone by my first instinct then Daisuke would be in a coma by now.
"I know" I now replied, he nodded
"Good after all you don't want people like Sora on your case 24/7 about how we are represented in the school yada yada yada" I grinned at that, I couldn't help it, he had gotten it exactly right, whenever Sora spoke to me I would watch her lips move but only here blah, blah, blah, blah oh and the occasional Tk spoken in disapproving tones.
"I definitely do not" I replied feverently that was the last thing I needed. Yama smiled at me then spoke again
"Gotta go little Bro the worlds awaiting me and I have band practice now what are you gonna do?"
"Go home" I replied instantly, normally I hated going home to that house with just mum as company, she wouldn't even let me get a pet of some sort, it would get the house dirty and God forbid that should happen, but right now I was craving the peace and quiet, it was almost an escape from the rest of the world. Yama hesitated for an instant
"Say Hi to mum for me" he said softly then with a forced smile turned and walked away already lost in his own world. I guess it's harder for Yama then me, he's 3 years older then me so he'll remember more of what happened then me, he was old enough to understand, I was not.
I turned and left the school, luckily I had already been to my locker and gotten the needed stuff, which meant the likely hood of me, bumping into any one wasn't likely. I placed my bag on my shoulders, my earphones in my ears and walked out the school gates, fully aware of the eyes watching my every move.
I didn't quite understand what on earth placed me into the popular group? Had it been the unusual looks? My smile? My intelligence? My connection for life with the most popular boy in school? I didn't know, but I do know one thing. I envy Daisuke; yes I Takeru Takashi envy Daisuke I can easily admit it in my head with no one around. I almost wish that I was in his group, that I could have that unconditional feeling of knowing I was loved and that I had people's loyalties, not for what I looked like or who my father was or my brother but for me. Is there anyone out there who wants to get to know me? The real TK the one under the charade? I almost want to meet Dai properly just to experience what it's like but the boundaries between us are set and nothing will be able to break through them. That wasn't the way high school works or not for me. I sighed out loud. If only there was a way to break it what would happen then?
I shook my head violently, where had all those thoughts come from, there meant to be buried deep down, things will happen one day, one day I'll be free to be who I want to be but definitely not today but maybe soon? I can only hope I guess hope to be allowed to be me.
There you go, not the best ending but heh what can I say. As you can see TK isn't happy but it won't last. Please review but no flames fire fighting isn't my business as I've said before. Yama's chapter will be up soon!