A/N: Thanks again to everyone for reading, following, enjoying, and reviewing our fic. :D It means a lot! Thanks also to everyone who's added this fic to their favorites, it makes our day to know you guys are enjoying it. We'd really appreciate it too if you could tell us why you like it so much- we're currently working on another fic and any and all feedback is much appreciated! :D
Chapter 4
"Your mother is quite the romantic," Hermione told Draco later on, when they were back at the Manor.
Draco chuckled. "She seems happier than I ever remember her being."
"Mummy, what's romantic?" Ralph asked, reaching for her hand.
Hermione looked at Draco, eyes wide as she tried to think. He made no move to help her. "It means she's… she likes it when people are in love."
Draco smirked at her. She glared at him, daring him to object. He didn't.
"Come on, Ralph, let's get you changed into cleaner clothes, and then you can have a nap before dinner, all right?" Hermione gently tugged his hand. "You and Daddy played a lot today."
"We played zoom and whoosh," Ralph said, allowing himself to be led to his room. "And then we played Kiddish. Daddy was the broom and I rided on his back!"
"And I'm the one who needs a nap," Draco muttered under his breath, making Hermione laugh. "I'm going for a shower." He left them, and Hermione realized it was her chance to spend time alone with her son. There was no need to call Jeeves, after all; she could manage.
"So you had a lot of fun?" she asked.
"Yes," Ralph nodded emphatically. Then he looked worried. "Did you have fun, Mummy? Daddy didn't play with you."
"Of course I had fun," Hermione laughed nervously. "Does he usually play with me?"
"Not zoom and whoosh, but he hugs you and kisses you and makes you smile real big."
Ralph was very observant, she realized. She and Draco would have to be careful, in order not to confuse or upset him. "You're very smart, Ralph," she said. "I told Daddy not to hug me because I'm feeling a little sick, and I don't want him to get sick too."
"But I can hug you?" Ralph asked anxiously.
"Yes, because you're young," Hermione said, feeling slightly guilty. "Not like your daddy, who's turning into an old man." She made a face.
Ralph giggled. "Can I hug you now, Mummy?"
"Of course, darling," she held out her arms and picked him up. His small arms went around her, and he pressed a slightly sticky kiss against her cheek. Hermione held him tightly, wondering how on earth she could have forgotten such a perfect little boy.
Half an hour later, once Ralph was fast asleep, Hermione succeeded in finding the Malfoy library. She gaped at the sheer size of the room, and the shelves upon shelves of books. Briefly, she wondered if she had read all the books in here, as she would surely have promised herself when the library became hers.
It took a while before Hermione could focus and find several books that looked promising. She took them to the cozy-looking sofa and began reading.
Draco found her several hours later, still poring over the books.
"Thought you'd be here," he said, taking a seat on one of the armchairs.
"I had a bit of trouble finding the place," she admitted, finally looking up from the book. Her head was starting to hurt, as it always did when her concentration was broken after intensive studying. "Did you sleep?"
He nodded. "It's tiring, being a father. Most of the time I had no idea if I was doing the right thing or not."
"I think it's always like that," Hermione smiled slightly. It felt somewhat awkward, to be conversing, and not arguing, with Draco. She wondered if she would ever get used to it.
Draco chuckled, and picked up one of the discarded books. "Did you find anything?" he asked worriedly.
"Nothing helpful," she sighed. It was good to know Draco was worried too; no one else seemed to be concerned that they had forgotten their marriage. They all seemed so bloody positive that things would work out- after the miracle of Draco and Hermione getting together the first time, everyone seemed to think that them getting together again wasn't so far-fetched. She was sure Harry and Ginny had told the other Weasleys by now, but no word was heard from any of them, not even Ron. "If… If certain parts of our brains were affected, there is a chance that those parts will repair themselves and we'll be able to remember what we forgot. But there's also a chance that, when the parts get healed, the memories will be lost forever."
Draco swore. "But the memories are still in there somehow," he said, running his fingers through his hair and slumping back in the chair. "I know it. I know things, without knowing how I know them."
"I know," Hermione said. "I feel the same. But what I'm not sure of is whether those memories, that… innate knowledge, will be forgotten as well, with time."
They were silent for a while, both thinking. "I tried a Pensieve earlier," Draco admitted, after a moment. "I thought that maybe I could extract the memories. But it didn't work. At first, I couldn't find the memories. And then I focused on Ralph, how I knew how to play with him earlier. It's like the memory was there, but obscured, covered."
"A thick sort of mist?" Hermione asked, trying to remember Harry's description of Slughorn's memory.
"Not quite. It was more like a haze, or a blur. It's hard to describe it exactly," Draco said. "It all seemed out of focus, and when I tried to focus on one particular thing, like Ralph's shoes, for example, I couldn't."
Hermione scratched her chin thoughtfully, deciding to try it herself. "That's interesting."
"Let's do what Father said and see a private Healer. One who specializes in memory spells."
"I suppose we should," she agreed. "Before it's too late."
"I can set an appointment," he offered. "What's convenient?"
"We have lunch at the Burrow tomorrow," she reminded him, "so it'll either be before or after that."
Draco groaned. "Lunch at the Burrow? Isn't that the Weasley's hovel?"
"It's the Weasleys' house. It's not a hovel!" She could feel them getting back into more familiar territory.
"It can't be anything else, I heard they couldn't afford a house. And with a name like the Burrow-"
Hermione took a deep breath and tried to count to ten. "I wish you wouldn't insult the people who can help us. They were at the party, one of them might know something."
"Might," Draco stressed. He added under his breath, "The only thing they know is how to breed."
"Merlin, Malfoy, your mother was right, I have no idea why I married you," Hermione snapped. "I've half a mind to find a Muggle lawyer and file for divorce."
Draco glared at her. " Don't you think I haven't thought of that? If it weren't for Ralph-" he broke off in frustration.
Hermione nodded, and the mood in the library changed entirely. "It's not fair for him," she said quietly. "He's smart," she added. "He noticed that there's something wrong between us."
"He's too smart," Draco said, the pride in his voice unmistakable. "He was using his colouring books when I checked on him earlier."
"I hope he won't be too upset by our lack of romantic feelings for each other."
"Very nicely put, Granger," Draco smirked. "What's there to be upset about? We haven't killed each other yet."
"Apparently, we haven't kissed each other yet either, and that's not normal." Hermione tried to say it matter-of-factly, but the heat in her cheeks told her that she was blushing. "I told him I was sick, and that I didn't want you to get infected, but that he was immune because he's young. I don't know how long he'll believe that."
"How deceitful of you, Granger," Draco snickered. "Tricking an innocent little boy!"
Hermione flushed, leaned out of her seat and slapped Draco not too lightly on the shoulder. She was feeling guilty enough. "What would you have told him? I wish we didn't have to lie to him, but we do."
"Lie to who?"
Draco and Hermione turned to find Ralph near the door. Hermione shot Draco a sharp look, realizing that he had forgotten to close the door and their son had wandered in without their knowledge. Thankfully, Ralph didn't seem to have seen the part where she had hit Draco.
"Where's Jeeves?" Hermione asked.
"Outside," Ralph said, pointing at the door. He walked over to his parents. "Lying is bad."
"Very bad," Draco agreed. He motioned for his son to come closer.
"What are you holding, Ralph?" Hermione asked, hoping to turn his thoughts away from lying.
He held up the paper he was carrying. "I drawed a drawing!"
"You say you drew it, not 'drawed' it," Hermione corrected gently.
"I drew it!" Ralph repeated.
"Let me see," Draco said, and looked at it. "Ralph, this is amazing!" He looked back up at his son, who was beaming. He passed it onto Hermione, who smiled when she saw it.
"It's Daddy and me playing," Ralph explained. "See, he's bigger than me, so I drew him taller," he said, pointing to a long scribble. "And then that's me, when Daddy throwed me into the air."
"When he threw you," Hermione said quietly, her eyes prickling with tears. She glanced up at Draco and saw that he was touched as well.
"Yeah, when he threw me," Ralph said obediently.
"It's very good." Hermione handed the paper back to Draco. "I'll write the date for you, and help you write your name, and then we'll frame it and Daddy can put it in his office."
"That's a great idea," Draco agreed, gazing at the drawing again. "And when I get tired of work I'll remember playing with you." He ruffled Ralph's hair affectionately.
Hermione watched as the two of them pored over each element in the picture. She was amazed at how the crude drawing of a child could become a priceless masterpiece in a parent's eyes.
At some point in Ralph's lengthy and somewhat imaginative explanation, Jeeves entered to announce dinner. The family headed for the dining room, and Ralph, who was riding in Draco's arms, had yet to finish babbling.
"All right, that's enough," Draco said as they took their seats. "That's very interesting, Ralph, but my ear will fall off soon. It's time to eat."
The table was silent except for the sounds of them eating, and Hermione wished Draco hadn't stopped Ralph from talking. His chatter had been better than the awkward silence. What did she and Draco normally discuss at dinner?
She cleared her throat in an attempt to kill the silence. "So, we'll go to the Weasley's tomorrow for lunch."
"I suppose."
Ralph jumped in his seat, almost knocking over his plate. "Yay!"
Draco tensed at his son's excitement to visit the Weasley home, but there was nothing he could do about it. Hermione was sending him a warning glare, and he could feel its intensity, even if he avoided meeting her eyes. Another silence began, and Hermione looked at Ralph. "What else were you saying about that picture?"
After dinner, while Ralph had his bath, Hermione returned to the library. She had made little progress, and none of it was concrete. She rubbed her temples tiredly and wondered if erasing the specific memories about their romance had been intentional. She didn't see what anyone had to gain by doing so- certainly it had brought some strain into the family, but it didn't seem too dangerous, unless there was a repercussion that Hermione had yet to foresee or experience. The thought made her shiver.
What if when she and Draco woke up the next morning, even more of their memories were gone? What if they forgot everything all over again? What if they had been reliving the same day over and over- Hermione remembered seeing a movie like that, one time when she had spent time with her Muggle cousins. Incredibly romantic, but not something she wanted to experience herself.
She was startled out of her reverie by the door opening and the patter of small feet. Ralph climbed onto the sofa beside her and peered at the book on her lap. "What's that, Mummy?"
"I'm just reading up on something." She closed the book and set it aside. Although Ralph couldn't read, she felt uncomfortable with him looking at what was troubling her. Instead, she gave him a hug and pulled him closer. "Mmm, you smell so good and clean."
"I swimmed in the tub!"
"Did you?" Hermione let his mistake slip, deciding not to ruin the moment. "So what will you be when you grow up? Any ideas?" She couldn't resist, she had to ask.
"I'll be like you and Daddy! I'll work in an off- in an-" he frowned in concentration.
"In an office," Hermione said, "but you'll be the boss of everyone, like Daddy."
"We'll make brooms, and we'll fly inside the office." He gave Hermione one big grin and jumped off the sofa, arms spread wide. "I'm flying!"
Hermione jerked forward to catch him, but he landed safely and climbed up, ready to do his stunt again. She took his arm gently and pulled him to her. "Ralph, I want you to promise never to jump off something unless I'm there, or Daddy's there, okay?" Ralph nodded. "I want you to promise, okay? Daddy or I have to be there."
"Yes, Mummy. You made me promise before." Hermione was slightly taken aback, but perhaps she had had that idea before. She found it cute how Ralph skipped his 'r's.
"Okay, that's good. Now you can jump again." She grasped her wand, and when Ralph was in the air, gave it a swish and a flick. Ralph went up, but had yet to come down.
"Mummy! Mummy!" he shrieked in delight. "Look at me!"
Hermione smiled, but was determined to keep her concentration. Levitating a child was not the same as levitating a feather. Many people dared not risk it, but the Wingardium leviosa had been Hermione's very first spell, and it had a special place in her heart. Over the years, she had mastered it.
She kept up the spell for a few minutes, while Ralph flew happily in the air, occasionally flapping his arms. When she felt herself grow tired, she ended the spell, catching Ralph gently. His arms went around her neck, and he pressed his cheek against hers.
"Let's read Peter Pan tonight, Mummy," he said, grinning widely.
"All right," Hermione agreed, standing up. "Ooh, you're getting heavy, Ralph. I think you're growing."
He smiled at her, now looking rather sleepy. "I eat my veggies," he said by way of explanation. "Like you and Daddy tell me to."
Hermione ruffled his hair. "Good boy." She carried him to his room, but once they were outside, Ralph lifted his head from her shoulder.
"Aren't we going to say goodnight to Daddy?" he asked, a small frown on his face.
"Oh, right," Hermione bit her lip and turned around, heading for the bedroom Draco was occupying. "Sorry, I'm rather sleepy."
"It's okay, Mummy. I forget lots of things too."
She smiled. Once they reached the room, she knocked and waited for Draco's voice before opening the door. He was already in bed, reading one of the books from the library.
"Ralph wants to say goodnight," Hermione said, setting the boy down on the bed.
Draco grinned and held out his arms to his son, who clambered sleepily into his embrace. "Good night, Daddy," Ralph yawned, snuggling into Draco's arms.
"Good night, Ralph," Draco replied, kissing Ralph's blond head. "I'll bring him," he said to Hermione, who was massaging her arms.
"Thanks," she mouthed, as Draco threw back his blanket and stood up. She led the way to Ralph's room, and pulled back the covers so Draco could place him on the bed.
"Peter Pan?" Ralph asked, when he was tucked in.
"Sure," Hermione said, finding the right book. "You can go back to bed, Ma- Draco, he's half-asleep already."
Draco nodded, knowing he wouldn't be missed. "'Night, Hermione."
Hermione smiled back, and opened the book to begin. Less than a minute later, Ralph was asleep, no doubt dreaming of flying.
Hermione made her way back to her room, using her wand for light. The Manor was slightly creepy, but it- or the area she was in, anyway- felt like home. She threw back the covers and lay down in bed, deciding to read until she was sleepy.
She had found her journal in her bedside table, and had transferred it to the room she was currently occupying. It was quite enlightening, although somewhat disturbing to read what she couldn't remember. All of the recent entries were about Ralph, and those about Draco were either about how they had fought or how he or she had apologized. It seemed they argued quite often- no surprise there- but Hermione could tell that she had been happy.
The journal became a bit tedious after a while, so Hermione turned off the light and closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to come. It didn't. It wasn't that the bed wasn't comfortable; she just couldn't find the right position. It was almost three in the morning when she finally dozed off, her arm slung around a pillow.
End A/N: For the Hermione Big Bang, Myst made lovely art for this chapter. Couldn't seem to link it here, so we'll link it in our profile. Check it out, it's great! :) Again, thanks for reading, enjoying, and reviewing!