Shadow's Strength
Chapter IV - Solutions
The pair ate in silence, and even once their plates were mostly empty, neither spoke until Kyouya noticed his guest starting to nod off.
"I'll take you to my sister's room," he told her quietly, and his voice snapped her back to alertness. She hesitated for just a second before nodding and mumbling another thank you, but he watched and frowned.
"Or you can take my bed, if you prefer," he suggested, wondering if perhaps she didn't really want to be alone just yet. She looked surprised, but her response confirmed his hunch.
"Is it really okay? I don't want to put you out," she said, worrying more about others than herself, as usual.
"Go ahead. I sleep on the couch half the time anyway," he shrugged, and she nodded after a second and got up, giving him a small bow.
"Thank you, senpai. Goodnight," she told him before quickly moving to crawl into his bed.
Not long after, he heard slow, even breaths drifting from his bed, letting him know that she'd fallen asleep without much trouble, much to his relief. He heaved a heavy sigh and stared up at his ceiling, trying to process everything, but there was just too much to be able to accept it all at once. So after a while, he forced himself to go through it logically.
'What is most important? Haruhi's health, obviously,' he reasoned himself, but there was little he could do at that moment. 'So what's the most pressing issue?' He paused, wondering what that could be until the image of her excessively pale skin and tired eyes appeared in the back of his mind. 'Rest and nourishment,' he concluded, but he had already ensured that as best he could for the time being. 'What made her become exhausted and malnourished? Being unable to eat or sleep because of her fears.' He frowned to himself unconsciously as he reclined against the couch. 'What made her be able to eat and sleep tonight? Most likely a combination of exhaustion and marginal relief from finally being able to share her concerns.'
Quickly, he caged the feelings that rose from her sharing her concerns with him and turned back to his reasoning process. 'Only sleeping once exhaustion is overwhelming is not a sustainable habit, so what will allow her to sleep consistently? Continued relief.' He paused again. Simply voicing her concerns would not provide a sustainable relief method. 'What would be a sustainable method of relief? Eliminating or minimizing her concerns.' He frowned again, wondering if he'd just led himself to another impasse until he remembered what she'd said as she was crying. Obviously, the main root of her concerns was her diagnosis for which he could do little, but perhaps he could eliminate the stemming issues.
"What do I do? I'm so scared!"
Well, she started with the ambiguous, for sure, but he flipped open his laptop anyway and started a hunt for what steps to take and ways to help her stay calm and minimize stress. Collecting information seemed to be the first order of business, and that was his specialty, so he passed the next few hours by trying to figure out what everything meant, what her options were, and all of the risks involved with every alternative. Since he didn't quite know the details of her diagnosis yet, the information he was able to retrieve was still somewhat vague, but eventually, he had created meticulous packet of his findings so that he could give it to her later to keep her from having to do all the research herself. Of course, he also made sure to note down the contact information of the best doctors and surgeons since he would definitely arrange for them to preside over her treatment.
As for keeping her calm, he made a mental note to ask her if she would permit him to inform the rest of the club of the situation. The twins would be able to take care of her homework and class notes, and maybe she could practice yoga with Mori and Honey to relieve some stress. But he would have to wait until morning to discuss it with her. At the very least, he would definitely arrange for her to spend some time at one of his family's resorts.
"How am I supposed to tell Dad? He already lost Mom because of it."
Kyouya found himself frowning at the ceiling once again. While he spoke to Ranka on a regular basis, he didn't feel it was his place to tell him about his daughter's diagnosis, which meant that responsibility, unfortunately, still rested with Haruhi. The crease in his brow deepened. Unsatisfied with the answer that he would be unable to do anything, he continued brainstorming. Perhaps he could arrange for Ranka to have a few days off from work so that the two would be able to spend some time together. While he wasn't particularly close with his own family—to put it mildly—he knew that Haruhi did deeply care for her father, and he was sure that they would both like to have some time together once she would break the news. So, to his own personal task list, he added Ranka's work to the list of places he would need to call the next day.
"I don't want to make him sad. What will happen to him if… if I—"
Kyouya's breath caught in his throat as he tried to come up with a solution. His mind couldn't logically process the thought of losing Haruhi. But after getting nowhere for a few minutes, he grit his teeth together and fisted his hands, reminding himself it wasn't about him. He had to take care of her concerns first, be damned his own emotions, so he bit his cheek as he concentrated.
Obviously, the host club had become its own sort of family unit, and they had grown even closer since Haruhi had joined. So if something happened to her, it was only logical that they would also take care of her biological family. He could keep in contact with Ranka, and the twins would surely be happy to help him with outfits, makeup, or anything else. And while Ranka and Tamaki didn't particularly get along, Kyouya was sure that Tamaki would gladly take care of anything that the twins couldn't. As for Mori and Honey, perhaps they could help Kyouya keep an eye on Ranka as well, since they seemed to get along rather well.
Kyouya swallowed roughly and added for his own sake that all of those solutions were, of course, entirely hypothetical and only for the absolute worst-case scenario.
"I don't know what to do! I-I have to get surgery and start treatment soon, but… But it's not like I can keep it a secret from everyone! And… I remember how Mom was. She was so sick! I don't want to… I'm so scared, senpai!"
He was already going to arrange for the best doctors and surgeons, so there wasn't much else that he could do in terms of treatment, but he jotted down a reminder to also set her up in one of the private medical suites for recovery. But as for keeping it a secret, especially at Ouran, that would be more difficult. However, with Tamaki's father being the headmaster and with Haruhi being in the same class as the twins, they would surely be able to keep the news and rumors from spreading too far, but that also meant that the host club would have to be told.
He closed his eyes and sprawled out on the couch, starting to feel his lack of sleep catch up with him. He knew that no matter what he did to try to calm her fears, Haruhi would still always remember her mother dying of the illness with which she was now diagnosed, and Kyouya couldn't even imagine the pain and fear that must be causing her. He frowned as he rolled to his side, trying to lock down his own fears and sorrow over the situation.
He had no idea what to do, but at the very least, he would be sure not to leave her alone to deal with it all. And, being unable to come up with any more solutions for the night, he finally gave into his fatigue and fell asleep. At some point in the night, he felt someone sit next to him and take up the other half of the couch, making him stir a bit grumpily, but he fell back asleep easily enough and didn't wake again until his phone alarm went off in the morning.
Groggily, he sat up, but realized that there was movement next to him. He looked over to find Haruhi curled up beneath his comforter, and he frowned as he remembered everything from the night before. When she simply flipped over instead of getting up, he left her to sleep a little longer as he got up to take a quick shower. He had a feeling that she wouldn't be going to school that day anyway, and she could use all the sleep that she could get.
Once he was finished and dressed, he went back out and finally woke her up, shaking her shoulder a little.
She rubbed her bleary eyes and looked at him, confused for a second until reality seemed to settle in on her expression again. "Ah, sorry about this…" she said, looking slightly embarrassed to be found on the couch rather than in the bed, but he just shrugged.
"More importantly, are you going to school today? I'll have the twins take care of your classwork if not," he asked, and Haruhi looked away, staring at the wall behind his shoulder.
"Maybe I should just stay home… I have to tell Dad still, after all," she mumbled, thinking to herself, and Kyouya nodded.
"I'll take care of everything with the school. I can arrange for Ranka-san to have tonight off too, if you like," he suggested, and after taking a deep breath, she nodded. "I put this together, if you want to look through it," he said as he handed her the packet he'd assembled with the findings of all his research. "Also, if you would like me to, I can inform the others."
Haruhi took the packet, but tensed at his offer to tell the rest of the club. She knew that she wouldn't be able to keep it from them, but it wasn't fair to make Kyouya have to cover for her more than he already had. So while she didn't want to face the group herself just yet, she didn't want to burden Kyouya with anything else either, so she took a slow breath to try to steady herself.
"It's alright. You've done enough, so I can tell them later," she told him, but she couldn't look him in the eyes. He stared at her for a little while before heaving a sigh, rubbing his eyes as just a little of his frustration slipped through.
"Just depend on me a little, okay? I know that you don't like to worry others, but when you put on a brave face like that, it's just going to make us worry more. And it makes me feel like you think I'm unreliable," he scolded, and when he looked down at her again, she was finally looking back up at him. Her surprise slowly turned to regret.
"Sorry," she apologized honestly, dropping her gaze, but he dropped his hand to her hair, making her look up at him again.
"Just tell me, do you want me to handle the others?" he asked, voice gentler this time, and he couldn't help feeling slightly relieved when she nodded beneath his hand. "Then I'll take care of everything," he said, giving her a reassuring pat before dropping his hand and heading to the door. "Go ahead and change. I'll wait in the car and give you a ride home," he told her before leaving, giving a little wave over his shoulder as she called another thank you. He called for a car and then messaged all the others, telling them that he had to talk to them after school and that club would be canceled again, figuring no one would be able to entertain guests once he gave them the news, and he sent an extra message to Kaoru asking him to take care of notes and homework for Haruhi for the day. Finally, he called the bar where Ranka worked and, through various methods, arranged for him to have the day off.
By the time he finished, Haruhi climbed into the car and they were off, but as he watched her from the corner of his eye, he could see her trying to take deep breaths and calm her shaking hands. Without a word, he reached over and took one of her hands in his, never moving his eyes from staring out the window. He simply wanted to reassure her, and she squeezed his hand back as the trembling in her fingers stopped despite still feeling like ice beneath his.
Yo! Hope you liked the chapter and will be looking forward to Kyouya informing the club in the next one! Thanks for reading. I'll have chapter 5 up next week.
Have a great day!