Thanks for the review guys! Umm some Q and A from messages. In the next few chapters it will get more vocal and funner with Esme and the cullens :). But I had to take this chapter slowly cuz I needed to get out iportant info but it will get better from here :).

K I dont own Twilight onl my character. (sp? lol)(brain freezes today)

Then I woke up. At least I think I have.I could feel myself laying in a bed covered by warm blankets. I still felt cold and stiff. That beeping sound was louder and more prominent now making my head hurt more. I opened my eyes as a blinding light filled my vision making my eyes burn with its intensity. I blinked a few times and the next thing I saw was a bronze haired, topaz eyed god.

I saw him looking at me. I moved my sore limbs under the blankets. My muscles hurt. Raising my right hand I saw it was bandaged and taped up. Keeping an iv needle securely in place. That made my stomach turn right then. I defiantly hated needles with a passion. My left hand was stuck in place. I felt awkward all of a sudden. He was holding my small hand in his large icy-cold ones. I sharply pulled it away out of his grasp. Its not that I minded it or anything I just felt really weird when people tried to comfort me no matter what the subject. He looked slightly hurt by my reaction which made me feel even weirder and slightly ashamed.

The walls in the room were white and sterile. The bright overhead lights were on and I could smell the cleanliness of it all. I was defiantly in a hospital.

Suddenly my brain fully registered were I was. I was in a hospital. That meant someone saw my body and by now my records as well. This place held needles and doctors, not a good combination.

I could feel my face and hands getting clammy. I started taking in sharper breaths and the intrusive heart monitor started going wild. The only thing that kept running through my mind was HOSPITAL! I could feel my nerves convulse and past instinct take hold. I was completely panicked. The guy who was with me suddenly got up gave me a quick look over and ran out of the room. I could faintly make out a word that sounded like "Carlisle". I couldn't really concentrate.

The panic flowed through my entire body. I cringed grabbing the needle in my arm and instinctively pulled. It slid out of my hand spraying solution on its way out. Drenching my arm in liquid and some remaining blood.That sent my stomach into overdrive. I was now very grateful I hadn't eaten lunch...how ever long ago that might have been.

I threw myself off the bed, hitting the ground with a loud smack! Pain shot through my aching ribs still bruised from the other day. I pulled myself up fast. I yanked the sticky monitor patches off in a hurry. And bolted out the door. I turned running and stumbling down a nearby hallway. Wile shocked nurses looked on after me. I had to get away, they wouldn't put me back into a hospital like 'that' ever again.

I felt hot tears spill over my eyes, blinding my vision as I turned into the next hall. My bare feet felt too slow and heavy. I accidentally nocked over some people as I ran. Thank God I was wearing pj pants and shirt instead of one of those gowns. I crashed through the nearest door with an Exit sign. Cold air hit me as I lunged toward the stairs, grabbing the railing as I fought my way down. My legs ached and I was starting to feel exhausted. The small stairwell ended coming to a close with only one door at the bottom. I pushed against it but it wouldn't budge.

I broke down, there was no escape I was trapped. I couldn't help let my tears fall freely no longer fighting the urge, my lungs pounding as I sobbed and screamed. Frustration playing in to my emotions. I probably looked completely hysterical or maybe deranged at that point. I sat on the cold concrete ground my body convulsed with pain and because of my own reactions. I hated it this place. I would trade it for a million nights with an angry Luke just to get away.

My mind raced with brutal memories from only a few years ago. They had kept my hands zip tied behind my back whenever I wasn't in my room. I could clearly remember those doctors with their cold eyes. They always said I was bringing this onto myself. Painful memories of when I was strapped down to a bed and put in a dark soundless room each day. Then they would come and take me for my 'treatment'. The medication I was always on had put me in a constant state of being lethargic and unable to fully move. They would hook me up to monitors and let loose shocks of electricity into my hands and feet. Every time I screamed they'd just say if I started talking again it would all end. But I couldn't, I felt to numb. And even if I wanted to I was afraid at what might come out. If I told on Luke then I might as well dig my own grave.

It was that one day of luck that I got out of my restraints that changed my situation. I had got out of the ties that surrounded my body and made my way to the mirror in the highly lit room. Thats all there ever was in these rooms. A bed, sink and mirror. Maybe a window if you got lucky which was very rare. Somehow I had ended up smashing the glass in my medicated daze. I can still smell the blood in my memory. I had grabbed a large shard and without even thinking stabbed myself in the wrist with it. I remember being so out of it that I never even felt the pain. I had craved freedom so bad in those four years. I had come to the conclusion that death was my only way out. I had tried to commit suicide that day. I might as well have succeeded if they hadn't stopped me first from doing any more damage. I had though put up a pretty good fight. I remember the pure white walls and floor smothered with my redness. Thats when they finally let me out of the asylum. Claiming I was a loss cause. It also helped that Luke bought my way out after that. Even though he was the one who put me there in the first pace. I always guessed it was because it wouldn't look so good fir his wife and kid to both die in an institution.

My wonderful thoughts were interrupted. Bringing me back to reality. Cold hands had locked onto my upper arms. I reluctantly opened my eyes and found him crouched down in front of me. He defiantly had me in a firm grip, I knew I wasn't going anywhere. He seamed to be searching my face for something. His eyes were filled with sadness and knowing recognizasion. I felt even more sick now. He knew! He knew about my record and private life. I could read it on his face. Tears came again as I looked at him.

His voice was soft and velvety. "Ireland.." He only said my name before I lunged myself at him. I wrapped my arms around his torso and cried more freely. I felt his cold arms wrap around me. Strong like stone, but comforting. "Every things going to be ok." He whispered in a clearly determined tone. Some how I felt a connection with him as we both sat there on the ground. I guess he felt special to me because for one he was the first person who knew my secret that I felt like I could trust. Second because no one had ever held me like this before ever in my entire life. For the first time I truly felt safe.

Ok Ill get the next and better chapter out real soon hope you liked it. If you review your thoughts I might do something speacial in the futer! :)