Snow Brawl
Bowser's last mini-game was called Snow Brawl, in which three players have a snowball fight with four other players. But in this case, it was five against eight. Bowser's partners would be the Koopa Bros. and all five of them were going to go against Bowser's children. There really was no logic to the game; just throw the snowball and whoever gets hit is out. But Bowser always had some form of tricks up his sleeve…
"What's crackin' little bitches?" asked Red.
"We're about to have a snowball fight! What does it look like Red?" asked Junior.
"Okay, so who's teamed up with who?" asked Yellow.
"Pretty much, it's us against Bowser and the Koopa Bros." said Iggy.
Black sniffed the air twice and laughed. "I sense the smell of losers in the air and their names are the Koopalings!" he joked.
"No, the smell in the air is just Bowser's bad breath." Red pointed out.
Everyone laughed and shouted, "YEAH!" while high-fiving each other.
"Shut up Red."
"Or what? You'll flatten me with your gelatinous stomach fat?" said Red.
Everyone laughed again and shouted, "YEAH!" while high-fiving each other.
Bowser growled gutturally at the Koopa Bros.
"Oh, look! The baby koopa has a set of teeth! I hope he doesn't bite us!" Red joked.
Everyone laughed once again and shouted, "YEAH!" while high-fiving each other.
"WILL YOU GUYS GET OFF MY ASS!!?"
"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!" shouted Red.
Everyone laughed and shouted, "YEAH!" while high-fiving each other. Bowser was so pissed off that he grabbed Red by the throat with his massive hand, causing him to gag. Black was sure he heard one of Red's neck bones crack. Bowser dragged Red next to him and roared, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"
He then proceeded to bite off Red's head, munching on it like a handful of chips.
"Anyone else? Anyone else wanna make a joke about my weight or my breath or any other form of my life?"
The remaining Koopa Bros. gulped hard and looked away, whistling casually. The last thing they needed was to get their heads bitten off, especially by Bowser.
"Dad, you need to chill out. It's just a joke!" said Lemmy.
Bowser got a snowball and chucked it at Lemmy, freezing him in a block of ice, eliminating him from the competition.
"What the hell? The game didn't even start yet!" yelled Junior.
Start!
"Dude!"
Junior was pelted with several snowballs and encased in an ice block. As of now, it was four against six. And Bowser still didn't even try to cheat yet. Like all snowball fights, the koopalings were focused on throwing their snowballs first and hoping that they would make contact with their target. Otherwise, they'd be screwed, since none of them had any form of obstruction to hide behind. Larry managed to chuck a snowball at Black, eliminating him. Green and Yellow responded by throwing a snowball at him.
"Hey, Dad! Try and block this!" said Roy.
Roy made a gigantic snowball that seemed to be unblockable, but right when it was about to hit Bowser, he suddenly caught the snowball and hurled it back to Roy, freezing him.
"What the fuck?! No one told us you could catch the snowballs!!" whined Iggy.
"Hey, Iggy! You can catch the snowballs!"
"Thanks Dad! I realize that now!!"
Iggy suddenly got impaled in the face with a thick snowball that almost knocked him out. Now it was completely even: 3 on 3.
"NO! No, you are not going to do this again Dad! I'm so sick of you cheat--"
Before Wendy could finish, she was pelted by another barrage of hard snowballs. Now it was only 3 on 2, and it wasn't looking good for Morton and Ludwig.
"Roy said we can cheat in these games too right?" asked Ludwig.
"Yeah…"
"So how's about we hide in our shells before the snowballs hit us?" suggested Ludwig.
"Huh? Oh, I get it!!"
Ludwig and Morton quickly retracted into their shells, avoiding the various snowballs that were getting thrown at them.
"What the fuck? No one told us we could hide in our shells!!" said Yellow.
Just after Yellow said that, both he and his brother were impaled with snowballs, frozen inside their icy blocks.
"Crap." said Bowser.
Once again, Bowser decided to cheat in the game and caught both of the snowballs that were chucked at him, smiling devilishly once again.
"Oh, yeah…I forgot he could do that." muttered Ludwig.
Bowser threw the snowballs at Morton and Ludwig, making him the winner of the game.
Finish!
Bowser wins!
Bowser did his victory dance and laughed once again.
Later that day…
"So what did you guys learn from Bowser Party Extreme?" asked Bowser.
"We learned that anything that has the word 'Bowser' in front of it means that somewhere along the line, you're gonna win something." confirmed Iggy.
"Now that's not true."
"What about Bowser Chance Time?! No matter how many coins you get, the overall point is that you're the one who gets the reward!"
"…Hey, Dad…I got a reward for you. Put this inside the back of your shell…" said Junior.
Bowser grabbed an odd gift that Junior offered as a present for Bowser, but it looked really tiny and kind of odd…like a firecracker.
"Um…what is this supposed to be?"
"Just put it in your shell and you'll find out."
Bowser tossed his present in the back of his shell and waited for something to happen.
"I don't get it; nothing's--"
Bowser began to shout and run around like an idiot after the present began to explode several times over. All of Bowser's kids started rolling on the floor laughing, realizing that Junior just gave their dad a mega-explosive firecracker that lasted for 12 minutes…or hours.
"How do you like your Christmas present Dad?! Like you said, tis the season for giving!" said Junior.
He suddenly gasped when he turned around and noticed that Roy was covered in a pile of poop. Roy was actually stupid enough to open the present above his head. He looked pretty angry too.
"I am going to kick…your…ass."
"Oh God…"
The End.
A/N: Please don't give any of your family relatives or friends a firecracker or pile of excrement for Christmas, Hanuka, Kwanzaa, or for their birthday. Trust me...they won't like it.