Truth or Exodus by Castlefan6

Authors Note: Thisis my AU version of events as the show picks up with Episode 4-01. Dr. MB has already been sent packing just days before, Rick picks up on Kate's lie, she remembers, and he calls her on it. Some Angst, some canon but mostly AU. Dedicated to one of my followers Cece AKA Dreamwriter08. I hope I deliver what you hoped for, cover the period of time that is treated as a 3 months later in the script. This topic has been covered extensively, but I hope to put a spin on it.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N Thanks to those who read and didn't like, hope you find something you do, not every story is for everyone.

Chapter 4

Previously

"Well apparently, he did, he just up and left Javi, I mean I'm not asking for pity, but he could have waited to bring that up?"

"Why Kate, would it have changed anything if he brought it up today, or a year and a day from today? I know you and you would have given him the same Non-answer that you gave him today. He's hurt Kate, not angry, but his soul was just destroyed.

New York Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center
525 East 68th Street
New York, NY 10065

Earlier Same day

When Rick left Kate's room, he could barely see for the tears that had filled his eyes. Had he really done what he thought he just did? Did he really just walk out on Beckett because of her lie? Some would say "Good Job", or "About Damn Time", but his heart was telling him "Nice going Jackass, now you've really lost her for good."

As the sunlight hit is eyes, he decided to text Alexis that he was spending some alone time today and he would have his phone off, to call the burner phone he always carried in the event of an Emergency. He began to walk, not even paying attention to the streets, or direction he was headed in until he bumped into a young lady coming out of a coffee shop.

The CoffeeKup

East 47 and Lexington

New York

1:45PM Same Day

"Oh geez, I am so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going, let me buy you a replacement and if your clothes need cleaned or replaced, just send me the bill, I'm really sorry."

"Hey Rick, relax, it's only a cup of coffee and from what you've been through of late, you are entitled to zone out from time to time. How are you doing, really Rick? You have more friends than you know at the precinct, and we're all worried about you" Roz Karpowski says sweetly.

"I'm sorry Roz, like I said I was zoned out, I didn't even realize where I had walked to, been a hell of a morning."

"Yeah, it shows on your face Rick, why don't we go in and I'll let you buy me the replacement coffee and if you want to talk fine, if not then I will just stare at your gorgeous eyes while I drink mine." She laughs as she see's the red twinge flush Rick's cheeks.

"Sounds good Roz, why don't you grab a table, and I'll grab the coffees," Rick replies coming out of his shock.

"I take mine, *"

"Roz, please, I know how you take your coffee, among other things", as he gazes at, her full breasts that seem to want to pop out from her sheer top. His mind drifts to a different location where he would confess to about anything wait, snap out of this, quit thinking like that he chastises himself. Well if she wanted to flirt, there was nothing wrong with that, Beckett sure as hell didn't care about his feelings one way or the other.

Roz did not miss his line of sight and by the time Rick has returned to the table with the fresh coffees, there are two buttons that were buttoned, now open displaying a very sexy lace bra with the REAL things in their hold.

"Here we go he says," once again almost hypnotized by the sight of the frim breasts poking through her bra. Stop, he thinks he has to get hold of himself.

"Thanks, Rick how are you holding up for real, we all know you were at the hospital the entire time, but Kate's tough, she should be back to herself in no time.

Could I ask you a question, you don't have to answer if it's too personal, but it's just something I need to know."

"I'll try Roz, no guarantees," Rick says growing more uncomfortable and even more aware of Roz's war chest that could cripple many men.

"Why the hell did you try to jump in front of Beckett when your daughter and mother were right there? How the hell were you the only one to pick up the sniper out there, in a sea of cops at a funeral no one picked up on him but you, how?"

"OK Roz, that's a two-part question, let's take the second part first. I was reflecting on the words Kate was saying, especially the part where if you find someone to make your stand with, when I had to look away.

That's when I saw the glint from the sun shinning on the rifle barrel, had it been overcast I would have never picked up on it. I first thought it was nothing then I saw it steady once again, and just reacted. I tried to reach her to push her away. I wasn't trying to take the bullet for her, just trying to keep either of us from taking one.

As for the WHY I did it, I think everyone in New York, especially the NYPD knows why except for the Detective I tried to save. I left her room this morning with the worst feeling in my life, she won't even acknowledge that she heard me say it, she just said she was tired and needed rest.

Roz, you were there, as a beautiful woman who can get just about any guy you want, do you think she heard it? I mean I've already heard from the brass as well as a lot from the peanut gallery about shouting it out."

"Wow Rick, do you realize this is the first time you and I have ever spoken about anything but a case that intertwined with one that Beckett was working on? Yes, I was there, and if I am so freaking desirable, why am I so lonely every weekend? Thanks for the compliment, that was really sweet.

No one can answer that question truthfully but Kate, we can all guess or surmise, but that wouldn't be fair to her to do that. The question you should be asking is WHY did it take this long for you to tell her you loved her, was it out of fear that she was going to die, or has this been how you felt for some time and just went for it at that time."

"Thanks Roz, you're right, I can see her doubting the timing, my God what woman would want to hear that then?"

"Rick, for a smart man, you are a Jackass sometimes. I have done everything I could possibly do to attract you, short of indecent exposure, and your eyes never left Kate, the worse she treated you the more devoted you became.

To answer the question, me and a few other females at the precinct would love to hear it, even if we knew you were lying, it'd be OK, we'd have the memory of the night with us to keep."

"Roz, I've worked really hard to leave that persona behind, I mean I'm flattered that a beautiful woman like you would find me attractive, but I don't want to lead anyone on, or hurt anyone."

"Yeah, I know she has hurt you bad, maybe damaged you to where it'll be only her that can save you but Rick, I want you to know that if you ever need a physical, mental or emotional release, you have my number" as she takes his phone and adds her number to his contacts.

Roz, I'm fla*"

"It's OK, the offer is good, no questions asked, no strings attached, and this is not a ploy to get you away from Beckett, it's just an invitation for two adults who enjoy similar interests to blow off some steam. Whatever you need, even if it's just a friend who will call her on her Bull Shit.

Do you know why the girls at the precinct are so formal around Beckett, never offering or asking anything outside of work to her? It's because she has what we want, YOU and treats you like you are trash sometimes.

She preaches to you about Ellie Monroe, yet she picks up a fucking Biker Doctor at a gas station. Where does that leave you, keeping you on the shelf till she's ready for you? I mean what are you supposed to do, you're a man and you have needs, so if those ever come up, call me" as she leans in and kisses him on the cheek giving a full display of the assets as she prepares to leave. Take care of yourself Rick, call me if you need me,"

Rick sits in the booth, more conflicted now than ever. Is that what others really think, Beckett has him on a leash and only lets him run as far as she wants? Damn it, why did Roz have to be so damn beautiful and stacked, she practically offered him friends with benefits without batting an eye.

She was right, as he remembered all those feelings as Josh and Kate would leave the station together, seeming to not care if he lived or died, sometimes not evening saying goodnight. He knew he loved her, but right about now he decided he didn't like her, or her actions at all.

That didn't mean he wouldn't do all he could to help her, BUT things had to change, he had options, good options now. Why would he continue to try to be with someone who clearly had lied, not even acknowledging what he said.

Well he needed a change of scenery to get Roz and her gifts out of his head, no man could think clearly with that image, so he headed to the park. As he walked, he replayed key conversations in his head between him and Kate, trying to determine, was she just being nice by not saying anything because she didn't feel the same way, or was she just stringing him along, His mind flashes back to their last argument in her apartment a few weeks ago.

FLASHBACK

"Yeah, well last time I checked, it was my life, not your personal jungle gym. And for the past three years I've been running around with the school's funniest kid. And it's not enough."

"You know what? This isn't about your mother's case anymore. This is about you needing a place to hide. Because you've been chasing this thing so long, you're afraid to find out who you are without it."

"You don't know me, Castle. You think you do, but you don't."

"I know you crawled inside your mother's murder and didn't come out. I know you hide there, same way you hide in these nowhere relationships with men you don't love. You could be happy, Kate. You deserve to be happy. But you're afraid."

"You know what we are, Castle? We are over. Now get out."

Present Time

Well, that was even more brutal on the replay in his mind. He knew she was stubborn, but the weight he felt from both her Dad, as well as Roy telling him he was the only one that could get her to stand down, was almost unbearable. So, she thought of him as the school's funniest kid, and it was not enough, all they had been through together, all for nothing. None of it, or all of it combined wasn't enough to earn him a place at her table, she saved that for others.

As he approached the top of the knoll, he saw a street vendor selling hot dogs and drinks, so he decided to grab a bite and a cold water. He found a shady spot and sat down to rest, and reflect as he ate his hot dog, yeah he had read all about the sanitary warning but there was just something about a hot dog purchased from a street vendor, perhaps a bit of taboo, but in all honesty, they just tasted good.

As he gathered his trash and disposed of it, it dawned on him where he was at, the site of the famous duel between the two nerds, where one was shot by the son of a ruined investor from behind the tree he had just used for shade. That was a case that two guys were going to duel over the love of one girl, who really didn't care for either, so he thinks which one am I with Beckett, the live one or the dude who was killed? Would she even care? Well if she wouldn't acknowledge she heard something she sure as hell isn't going to worry if he is alive or dead right now.

His thoughts are wandering a mile a minute, well what I need to do is come up with a plan where I can help her heal, but not interfere with her personal life, if she wants someone else, and they can make her happy so be it. Who knows maybe Roz could show him what he had been missing and make him forget about Kate, time will tell.

Thinking about the time, Rick realizes that he only has a few more minutes of sunlight and the park is not the safest place to be after dark. He pulls out his phone and calls the car service to pick him up at the location he gives, and notices he has some missed calls and texts. No time now to check them out, he'll do it from the safety of his limo in a few minutes.

Just as the sun sets completely and darkness engulfs the park, his limo arrives, and he is glad he came out of his trance when he did. The dark wasn't the only thing now covering the park, as he saw several different gang members displaying their colors heading to the spot he just left.

He checks his voicemails, nothing important, one from Gina wanting another chapter, two from Paula wanting him to do something to get Gina off her ass, and one from, Jim Beckett? What was wrong, why did Jim call him as he hurriedly plays the recording.

"Rick,

Jim Beckett here, sorry to miss you at the hospital to talk in person and I'm sorry for earlier, you know her as well or better than I do, and when she sets her mind to something not much can change it. Please be patient with her son, I know it's asking a lot, especially after the more I learn of how she has treated you, but from one Dad to another, Please help me get my little girl well again, please. Call me if you want, and Thanks for everything you have already done for us, I know that doesn't say much but we are thankful Rick. Hope to talk to you soon, "

The more Rick thinks, the more it convinces him that he is in the friend zone with Kate, that zone where you're good enough to hear about the problems, and all the great things the man of the hour is doing but never good enough for a chance to prove your worth.

Jim Beckett, poor man has been through hell, and it makes Rick think, is Kate even capable of loving anyone other than herself and her quest? Surely, she would never put her father through this agony if she loved him, especially once he had pleaded the case with her. She couldn't be that numb, or could she, and he just didn't want to see it. The limo pulls up to the loft, and Rick is glad to be home, he'll address the text messages after a bite to eat and a good hot shower.

A/N Stopping it here, again not interested in canon and who slept with who this is AU and Cece's vision is there was no lie for 3 months, she didn't go away by herself, doesn't mean all things are peachy with her and Rick but stay tuned as we develop the story. Thanks