Don't know how I missed posting last weekend, but here ya go! :-)

It felt like he was all around me, surrounding me, consuming me, devouring my entire body whole. I was becoming him, and he was becoming me. I could not tell where he ended and I began - only that we were one mind, one body, one soul. Our hearts had found one another, rhythmically syncing with the power of our union. I felt like I was adrift in a sea of passion and that he was my only anchor.

I gripped his arms, my fingers digging into his biceps, and I was shaking so much that my thighs could barely keep their hold on his plunging hips. I couldn't hold back the continuous cries that were ripped from my throat, and he covered my mouth with his, accepting my sobs of gratitude with his lips while breathlessly giving me his in return.

I was burning alive, the flames beginning between my legs and spreading outward, singeing off the heavy weight of loneliness that had accumulated during Jacob's absence. I felt the dead flesh that I had been carrying to hide the pain as it set ablaze, floating away on a cloud of ash and disappearing as Jacob filled up my senses with his fire. I was overflowing with him and he made me frantic, wanting more of him, all of him.

Then I heard him call out my name, his large frame shuddering, trembling, and I knew the moment that he let go, allowing his orgasm to completely drown him and overtake his body. I accepted his release, craving the very essence that was Jacob. With one final gasp, he collapsed against me, our breathing labored. I was vibrating, feeling so overwhelming alive.

I felt him chuckle against my shoulder. "Are you trying to kill me, honey?"

I managed a laugh. "I was about to ask you the same thing."

He kissed my sweaty collarbone. "Was it just me, or was that exceptionally…. Intense?"

I blew out a breath, feeling the power of our lovemaking settle into my bones. "No," I replied softly. "That was intense."

And it had been. I felt that the connection between us was more solidified than ever before. I almost believed that a part of him had permanently attached itself inside my body. Our bond was real, and it was true, and incredibly unchangeable.

He rolled onto his back on the bed beside me, intertwining our fingers. I would have turned to cuddle him closer, but I wasn't sure if function had returned to my limbs yet, so I thought that perhaps I would wait a few moments before attempting to embarrass myself by moving.

I wanted to relax into the post-coital haze, enjoying every possible bit of time we had together, but that thought alone triggered the reality of the situation.

The glow of our love-making quickly vanished as I realized that this wasn't forever. That he would be leaving again, and I wanted to cry.

Damnit! Couldn't forget about that, now could we?

I must have made some sad sounding whimper, because Jacob whipped around, pulling on me until our bodies faced one another, suddenly cradling my face in his hands. "Baby, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?" His frightened eyes roamed my body frantically, searching for some unintended mark that was that cause of my pain.

My heart clenched at the desperation in his eyes. I sighed and looked away from his gaze. I knew these moments wouldn't last forever but I was silently cursing myself for not letting him have this time of normalcy for just a little longer. I bit my lip, still afraid to look at him. "It's just… I mean… I wish that…" I couldn't even finish the sentence.

He studied me for a second longer before skimming one large hand down the side of my body to rest on my hip. His fingers kneaded against my skin and I scooted closer to him, dreading that soon the time would come for him to remove it for several months. He smiled at me gently, and it knew the gesture was meant to sooth me. "So tell me about Charlie. You mentioned he's dating Sue Clearwater?"

I returned his smile the best I could, grateful to have a man that knew me so well. "Yeah, I guess so. Charlie's not the talkative type, so now that I don't live at home I don't hear too much about his day to day activities. But between Forks and La Push, no one can keep a secret. They try and avoid gossip by going to Port Angeles or by staying at home." I rolled my eyes. "But he seems to forget that a police car outside of someone's house is slightly conspicuous."

Jacob laughed, and slid his hand down my leg to hitch my knee up on his hip. My skin felt warm with the proximity of his naked body, but all I wanted was to be close to him. Now that we had shared a few physical moments, I knew that both Jacob and I craved something else from one another - emotional intimacy.

"And your classes?"

"Everything's going well. I'm taking statistics, anatomy and of course, a psych class." I paused, wondering if he would be receptive to questions about his everyday life.

He noticed my hesitation and his eyebrows drifted together briefly before I realized that I had waited too long to continue. I opened my mouth but he shook his head before the words even began to form in my brain. "Tell me about your psych class."

I frowned slightly but quickly wiped it away before he could see it. "Um… it's Forensic Psychology… it mixes psychology with law and criminology. It's actually very interesting." I wrinkled my nose. "I mean, the whole sex offender treatment concept is disturbing to me, but the profiling part is intriguing."

"Profiling?" Jacob asked, his expression portraying puzzlement.

I wasn't stupid though, and neither was he. We both knew that he was avoiding the conversation I'd been waiting to have with him for six months, but I answered his question anyway. "Psychological profiling is a method of suspect identification which seeks to categorize a person's mental and emotional characteristics, as well as personality signatures, which are typically manifested in things done or left at the crime scene." I wrinkled up my forehead and thought for a moment. "Yeah, I think that's what the book said."

He laughed and leaned forward to kiss me on the nose. "Leave it to my genius to memorize things from her textbook."

I smacked him playfully on the shoulder. "Hey, we can't all be fighter pilots, now can we?"

His body froze next time mine and I immediately regretted mentioning the Navy, but I also didn't apologize - I needed to him to talk to me about this sometime, and I guess now was a good of a time as any. I focused my attention on the bedspread, pulling absently at a loose thread. I could hear him breathing, and it was a little faster than usual, which meant that he was thinking very hard about what I had just said.

Yes, Billy told me not to push the subject, but after 4 years at the Naval Academy in Annapolis, and 3 years of flight training, I was about to go bat-shit crazy out of my mind if he didn't start talking to me. His extended absences had driven me back to school 3 times - I mean, here I was working on a Criminal Psychology degree after getting a Bachelors in Cultural Anthropology and a MBA. If I couldn't be with Jacob, immersing myself in my education seemed like the second best option. It felt like half the professors at SU knew me by name at this point, and if he didn't come home soon, I might as well just move back into the dorms because I didn't think I'd ever been leaving campus again.

When I couldn't take the silence anymore, I finally said, "Look, Jake… I'm proud of you. I'm amazed by your talent and your skills and your drive and your ambition. Everyday. I tell anyone that will listen that my boyfriend is a fighter pilot and I do it with a giant grin on my face. You have one of the most dangerous and thrilling jobs in the whole world, and personally, I fucking love it when you wear that damn uniform. You might as well walk in the door wearing a massive light-up 'fuck me, please' sign." I pointed out to him, earning me a Cheshire cat grin from the sexiest man I've ever seen in my life and I was momentarily distracted by his devastating smile.

He poked me in the side and I giggled, snuggling closer to him, but while still managing to maintain eye contact. "But I miss you, Jake. I miss you everyday. And when you're gone, I feel like a huge piece of me is gone too. I don't want you to feel guilty and I don't want you to think that I can't handle my feelings like a big girl, because I can." His dark eyes softened and as much as it made me want to kiss him, I managed to clear my throat and continue talking. "But when you don't talk to me, when you don't share what's going on in your head, I wonder how much of yourself you're allowing the Navy to claim…"

My voice trailed off then. I hated being emotionally vulnerable with Jake, especially because I was worried he'd blame himself for my sadness and his conscience tended to be unforgiving with things like that.

Jacob's fingers tugged on my chin, bringing my face back to his. "Bella," his voice was firm. "I love you with every part of me, but the things I see…" That darkness hovered in the back of his eyes, and my breath caught in my throat as I imagined the violent things he kept hidden there. "I don't want to contaminate you with those memories." He squeezed me closer to his body. "You are so precious, innocent and beautiful to me that the thought of you seeing what I've seen makes me sick inside. I would never forgive myself if I poisoned your mind like that. You don't deserve it."

I wiggled in his arms until I could throw my arms around his neck, pulling his face very close to mine. "Captain Jacob Ephraim Black." His eyebrows rose at the use of his full name. "I love you. Everything about you. And if I'm ever going to be a good wife and support system for you, you need to start telling me about your life. I know that I may not understand everything, but you still need to tell someone. And let me tell you what, it's going to be me."

It started with a small smile, but quickly grew into the most giant grin I had ever seen. "Wife?" He whispered softly, the excitement evident in his voice.

I blushed, furiously. "You know what I meant." I shuttered foolishly.

He laughed and kissed me hard on the mouth. "God, I love you so much it hurts."

"I love you too," I whispered in reply, allowing his mouth to recapture mine. God, his lips were amazing. Breathless, and most completely involuntarily, I pulled back from him. "I wasn't finished," I gasped between the pants of air that puffed out of my throat. "I want you to talk now."

"Talk?" He answered suggestively, his dangerous lips nibbling my sensitive earlobe.

I gave a slight moan but pushed him a few inches back. "As much fun as I have when we're naked together," he grinned and I shot him a look. "I really do want to talk."

He chuckled and nodded slowly. "I know we have to talk, Bells. I know we do. It's not just easy for me."

"I know, babe," I responded reassuringly. "If it helps, start from the beginning, even if I already know that part of the story." I rubbed my fingers gently across his chest. "Maybe we can… build up to it."

He gave me a playful groan. "I guess this is what I get for being with a woman with 3 college degrees." He smiled at me to remind me that he was just kidding, but I would have known that anyway. "Ok. So… the beginning." His brows drew together and I waited while he thought. "Well… first there was Annapolis, where I got my first commission, which was an excruciating 4 years away from you…" Jacob's eyebrows wiggled suggestively. "Thank God for phone sex." I laughed at him. But then he looked confused. "But you already know this part. Are you sure you want me to say it anyway?"

I nodded. "Some therapists use it as a part of talk therapy."

"Oh geez," he winced, his eyes closing. "You're shrinking me now?"

"No!" I replied, laughing. "I'm not a psychologist. I'm just trying to help!"

"I know," he sighed. "I just feel stupid telling you shit that you already know."

"It's fine!" I reassured him. I kissed him gently, quickly, hoping to avoid another distraction. It worked this time, which was rare.

Jacob was always distracting me.

Hot uniform.

Naked Jacob.

Ugh!

Stop it, brain! The previous 2 orgasms weren't enough?

Geez.

I blinked and realized his eyes were focused on my mouth, but I cleared my throat and he looked back up into my eyes, a grin forming on his lips. "Sorry. Anyway. Then I had to go to my IFS, API and Primary Flight Training in Florida. Another horrendous 2 years away from you. I was so thankful you took some time away from school that last summer to come and stay in Milton and visit me at Whiting Field. And I hated Florida. It was so damn humid there I thought I was gonna have swamp balls until the day I died." I rolled my eyes at him and he grinned mischievously again, which made me happy. I would do anything to see my man smile. "Then advanced training." He groaned and buried his face in my shoulder. "After that summer with you, I was beyond pissed about having to go to combat training. But, God, Bells… being in the air like that… it was one of the biggest adrenaline rushes of my life. To have that kind of speed, that kind of power, was mind blowing, and it reminded me why I went into the Navy to begin with. It's like connecting with God, that high in the atmosphere. Nothing could touch me up there - I was free, and I felt unstoppable. Every time I landed I couldn't wait to go up again." He paused, and I saw his jaw tighten in grief. "It's the closest I can ever remember being to my mom… and there were days I almost refused to come down." His voice cracked. "I miss her so much."

I wrapped myself around him then, holding this strong man close to me, wishing I could take all of his pain away. The death of his mother so early in life had devastated him and I'd always struggled with what to say to him about it. So I said the only thing I could think of - "I love you."

His grip around me tightened and his face moved to mine, his lips wet with the salt of his tears. "Please, Bells…" came his choked whisper. "Make love to me."

Without a word, I rolled over him, coming to rest with my hips aligned to his. I stroked him gently, keeping my eyes locked on his face, though his eyes were closed tight against his internal pain. I eased myself onto him, knowing from past experiences how much bigger he felt in this position. As I lowered down inch by inch, he slowly opened his eyes, and I saw now that they were full of love instead of heartache.

When my pelvis touched his hips, I bent at the waist to kiss him. It was careful and tender, my palms resting on his chest. And he kissed me back, ever so sweetly. I couldn't stop my tongue as it eased from my mouth to touch his lower lip.

God, he tasted good.

I couldn't seem to stop kissing him, so I scooted my knees forward to use them as leverage, pushing up from him slowly before making an even slower descent. He groaned beneath me, and he raised his hands to twist them desperately into my hair, pulling my mouth closer to his. I reveled in the flavor of him, the texture of his lips, the softness of his tongue. If I could have devoured him, I would most certainly have tried.

His hips bucked against mine, and I tiled my pelvis forward before rising off of him again, earning myself another groan. His hands fluttered down my sides, moving to grip my sides. "God, Bells…" He whispered.

He pushed up into me then, and I flung my head back in a gasp, grabbing a hold of his shoulders to keep myself in place. I increased my pace, rocking against him in a steady rhythm, allowing him to set the tempo from below.

Each movement up and down was causing my heart to race faster than before, his hardness dragging against every sweet spot I could possibly imagine. He flexed inside me, and I called out his name breathlessly. "Jacob!"

I needed to feel each unbelievable inch of him and I forced my hands down to his hips, slowing his movements. His heated gaze followed the patterns of my body as I rose off of him, completely, letting the tip of him hover just millimeters from my entrance, rubbing him gently against that sweet bundle of nerves. I moaned, loving the sensation of the silky steel of his erection on my clit.

Jacob reached between us then, one hand on my hip, to increase the activity of his cock on that small bud of skin. I cried out, my nerves unable to comprehend the intensity. Before I could stop myself, I slammed back down on him, and my efforts were rewarded with curse from Jacob. "Fuck, love…" he groaned.

His hands drifted from my waist to my chest, pausing to linger on my hardened nipples. He pulled gently, massaging and twisting just the way I liked, and I closed my eyes against the pleasure. He cupped my breasts then, flicking the pinked nubs with his calloused thumbs and I could have sworn he had connected electrical wires from his hands directly to my clit.

I gasped, shuddering under his touch and I loved how he knew just where to touch me. "Oh, Jake!" I whimpered, my tongue dragging across my lower lip. "I'm gonna… oh shit, you're gonna make me cum again!"

He growled in response, low in his chest, and my hips took on a mind of their own, rising and falling over him, crying out each time he found that secret place, bringing me closer and closer to the edge. I could hear his gasps, the masculine whispers as he called out my name. His fingers dug deeper into the soft flesh of my thighs and I concentrated on the feel of his hard body, the pressure of his throbbing skin inside me, and the sounds of our cries as we both tumbled headfirst into the endless abyss of orgasm.