Chapter 4
Tim opened his eyes and it was dark. For a moment, he panicked.
I'm blind!
But then, he thought again, and he realized that he had seen before. So it was likely just dark. That was a relief, but at the same time, he was feeling a lot of pain whenever he tried to change position. But he had been still for so long already. There was a feeling that he'd been pretty helpless recently.
He tried to move, tried to sit up or something, but it really hurt all over, with a special amount of pain in his head. He hated being stuck where he was, though. He tried to get up, tried to see where he was.
"Tim? You all right?"
For a moment, Tim couldn't think of who was speaking or what the words meant. He just heard the sound.
Then, he felt a hand taking his.
"Tim, can you hear me?"
He took a few more seconds and then, it clicked.
"Tony."
"Yeah. What's wrong?"
"What happened to me?"
"Well, it looks like you ticked someone off, big time," Tony said, sounding pretty casual, considering what he was saying.
"But...why...what's going on?"
There was a click and a light flashed in his eyes, augmenting the ache in his head and he winced.
"Sorry, Tim."
The light dimmed a little and Tim felt like he could look around again. Tony was there and he didn't look very good. If asked, at the moment, Tim couldn't explain what it was about Tony that didn't look right, but something didn't.
"Why do I hurt?" he asked.
"Because you got beat up, McGee. That doesn't usually turn out so good for the one getting beat up."
"But...why?"
"Don't know yet, but we'll figure it out, and all you need to do is stay calm and get better. Sound good?"
"How long?"
"Don't know."
Tim thought back to the last memory he had, and Tony was in it, and he hadn't seemed so casual about all this.
"You're...different," Tim said. Speaking was hard for him to do. It hurt his jaw and his brain seemed to have a hard time coming up with the words.
"Different than what?" Tony asked, with a smile.
"Than...before."
Tony actually looked a little shamefaced at that statement and he shrugged.
"I lost my head for a moment, but I found it again. It's fine."
Tim thought about that some more.
"Broken?" he asked.
"No bones were broken. Lucky for you. There are a couple of broken teeth, but no broken bones."
"Then, why do I hurt?"
"Because they beat you up, Tim. Just because they didn't break anything doesn't mean nothing happened to you. Just relax. It's really late. You should go back to sleep."
But Tim didn't want to sleep for the moment. He wanted to understand what was making his brain so fuzzy, why his head hurt so bad, why the rest of him hurt so bad.
Then, he suddenly wasn't lying on the bed anymore. He was in the dark. In a forest. In trees. He was running, and he could hear people coming behind him, getting closer and closer and...
"Calm down, Tim! It's okay! You're okay."
Tim opened his eyes again, and he was breathing heavily.
"Forest," he whispered. "Running...trees... I can...hear them..."
"No. It's not happening, right now. You're safe. You're in this dumpy little apartment and you're fine. You're going to be fine."
Tim could hear Tony's voice, but he couldn't understand what he was saying. He was lost in a dark forest with all those people, and all that pain.
"Tim, snap out of it! You're all right. You're safe! You're not in danger!"
Before he knew it, Tim was being lifted off the ground (bed?). It hurt. A lot, but then, he was being held by someone.
"It's all right, Tim. Just hear what I'm saying. You're safe. You're okay. You're hurt, but you're okay. It's all right. It's all right."
After some time, he could actually hear and understand what was being said. He opened his eyes again and realized he was looking up at Tony. As soon as he made eye contact, Tony smiled.
"You hear me now, Tim?"
"Yeah," Tim whispered.
"Good. Whatever you were remembering, it's not happening now. You're just fine. You hear me?"
"Yeah."
"Good. Are you feeling any better?"
Tim thought about that.
"No."
Tony laughed.
"Well, I guess that's not surprising."
Tony took a deep breath and then Tim felt himself being lowered back to the bed. It hurt, but it was okay.
"Do you want the light on?" Tony asked.
"Yeah," Tim said, softly. He wasn't sure if the answer should be yes or no, but he knew that he didn't want to be in the dark again. Not right now.
"That's fine. Are you tired?"
Tim thought about that, too, but this time, he thought he knew what the expected answer was.
So he nodded.
"Yes."
"Then, why don't you go back to sleep? And I'll do the same."
"Okay."
Tim closed his eyes and lay there. He felt Tony's hand on his arm for a few minutes, but then, he thought he could hear movement. He opened his eyes again and Tony was pacing back and forth, rubbing his hands over his head.
Not wanting Tony to realize he was still awake, Tim closed his eyes again, but he could hear that soft tread. Back and forth. Back and forth.
It continued until Tim was tired for real and he finally fell asleep, still hearing the soft sound of Tony pacing.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
After a while, Tony calmed down enough to think about going to sleep. He looked over at Tim and he was still and quiet. He hated this. He hated how little there was that he could do. He hated that Tim was still not acting like Tim. He hated that he was stuck here. He hated that he felt so helpless.
Most of all, though, right now, he hated seeing how much pain Tim was in. Certainly, it was a marked improvement over the period when Tim would nearly scream at the slightest touch on certain parts of his body.
"He's getting better. He's getting better," Tony whispered to himself.
It was taking a long time, but it was happening. Healing was coming.
He just had to be patient.
There was that word again.
Patient.
Another deep breath and he let it out as slowly and quietly as he could. He didn't want Tim to wake up again.
Then, a quiet walk over to his bed and Tony lay down. He stared at the ceiling for a while, but eventually, his tiredness overcame his tension and he fell asleep.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Tim woke up and it was light again. Or rather, it was still light, but it wasn't the artificial light of a lamp. He wondered what had awakened him.
Then, he heard the sound of water running. He opened his eyes and looked around. Tony wasn't there.
"Tony?" he called out softly.
No response.
Painfully, Tim pushed himself up. It really hurt, but he needed to see more than he could while lying on his back. It hurt and it was hard to do. Tim didn't know why it was so hard. After all, he was just sitting up, but beyond the pain, there was an extreme amount of effort required for him to get himself into a sitting position.
For the first time in who knew how long, Tim looked all around the space in which he currently existed. It wasn't all that inspiring to be honest. He wasn't impressed, but he also didn't have the slightest idea why he was in this space in the first place, but even more than all that, Tony wasn't in the space, and where had he gone?
"Tony?" he called out again.
No sound, no response.
He was shaking with the pain and the effort he was expending, but he was worried.
"Tony?"
To keep himself from freaking out, he looked at the lamp. It was on. It didn't need to be. There was plenty of light in the room without it.
Tim focused on the idea of turning out the light. It took an amazing amount of concentration to get himself to the point that he understood what he had to do to get that task done. Then, he had to convince his body that it was the right thing to do, even though his body was begging to be allowed to lay down again.
Shaking, he reached out to turn off the lamp.
And he reached too far, lost his meager balance and then fell off the bed and onto the floor with a crash.
That only made everything hurt more and he lay where he was, eyes closed tightly, body tense and quivering.
There was the distant sound of a door opening.
"Tim! What happened?"
The voice was Tony's, which was welcome, but the words couldn't get through the pain.
Before he knew it, he was being lifted off the floor...which hurt, but was better than how he'd been lying.
He noticed that he was getting wet. He didn't know why.
Tony's voice kept going, but Tim still couldn't understand what he was saying. He didn't know how long it took, but eventually, the pain began to fade and the sounds became words.
"–but you need to tell me if you can hear me. Tim?"
"Y-Yes," Tim whispered, breathing heavily.
He heard a big sigh of relief.
"Good. It doesn't feel like anything is broken. Are there any sharp pains? I know it probably hurts, but does it hurt worse?"
Tim thought about it.
"N-No."
"Good. Now, what happened?"
"Light."
"Yeah. It's daytime. There's light when the sun is up," Tony said, sounding a little frustrated.
Tim shook his head, trying to explain himself when he felt so strange.
"No. Lamp. Didn't need to be on. Wanted to...turn it off."
There was a long silence. And then another sigh.
"Okay. Tim, while I'm glad you're thinking that clearly, for now, let's not fall out of bed, okay?"
"Why did I?" Tim asked. "Shouldn't have."
Another long pause.
"Tim, you've been in bed for a long time. You're going to need to take a lot of time to get better. If you're ready, we can start working on that."
Tim couldn't even consider that right now, but he was trying to think about what Tony was saying.
"Tim, do you want to turn off the lamp?"
"Yes," Tim said, not sure why it mattered to him.
"Then, let me help you."
Tony lifted him toward the lamp. It hurt, but for some reason, Tim was glad he could reach out and turn off the light.
Then, Tony let him back down. Tim looked at him and noticed, for the first time, that Tony was half naked and his hair was wet.
"Now, I'm going to finish showering, Tim," Tony said. "Don't try to get up unless I'm around, okay? Understand?"
Tim nodded once, and something else wormed its way into his conscious mind.
Shame.
"I'm sorry," he said.
An almost-sincere smile crossed Tony's face.
"Don't worry about it. You're getting better and that's a great thing. Just don't start trying to leap tall buildings in a single bound. You need to give yourself time to get better. So no getting out of bed until I'm out of the bathroom. Okay?"
"Okay."
Tony got up and walked back out of Tim's view. He lay there, thinking about what had just happened, and thinking about how strange everything felt to him. He hurt. No question about that, but he felt so strange. Everything was just a little off, and that wasn't good.
The water went on again.
A shower.
Tim realized what the problem was.
I'm stupid.
He wasn't sure why he was stupid, but he sure seemed to be right now. Maybe it would go away. He hoped so.
For the moment, amazingly, he wasn't tired. The pain was starting to fade, but he still didn't feel right. It just wasn't really all that great right now and he really wanted things to get better.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Tony sat down on the edge of bathtub for a few seconds and tried to calm down. That crash had scared him to death. He was sure that this shower had led to Tim's death somehow. To find that Tim had actually tried to move on his own and had simply fallen off the bed had not really been comforting.
Then, there had been something almost childlike in Tim's desire to turn off the lamp. He had almost seemed proud of himself for doing it.
Please, don't let this be what Tim is from now on. He has to get back to normal!
The muscle weakness and possible atrophy weren't surprising. Unfortunate, but not surprising. It was just a matter of getting him moving again. If he was ready for that, it would at least give Tony something to do besides cleaning.
He got back in the shower, relieved that the towel he'd wrapped around his waist hadn't fallen off during the crisis. He didn't spend too much time in the shower, but he did take enough time to calm down and stop feeling like the world was about to end.
"Tim tried to move. That's a good thing. He just didn't realize how weak he was. That's all it is. He'll get better. He'll get better," Tony said softly to himself as he dried off and got dressed.