Burn

by awalkerlifeforme

Aspen Antaeus and Cato Hadley won the 74th Hunger Games. The two haven't seen each other in months, but with the Victory Tour around the corner they will be reunited. But with plots for Aspen's death are being thrown around and the third Quarter Quell only months away, Aspen will be forced to make a decision she hoped to never have to. One way or another, the Capitol will burn.

4. Chapter 4

The sunlight streamed through the windows and I sighed deeply. The room had been so dark last night that I hadn't even bothered to stumble around for my clothing once everything had been done. There was also the issue of me feeling like a rather large idiot. All I'd wanted to do was go to sleep. Instead of making myself look like an even bigger fool I had slipped under the sheets and buried my face into Cato's chest. He had insisted that it was okay and that I hadn't done anything wrong. But I had felt like an utter fool the entire time. But he had just told me that I was doing everything right and that it would get better with time.

It felt like everything else in my life. It would get better with time. But it hadn't been like everything else in my life. It had been so different. It had been something so much better. As embarrassing as it had been for a while I had loved it the entire time. It had been something that the Capitol would never be able to take. It was Cato's. The way that it always should have been. I yawned slightly again and stood, my naked body shivering at the sudden cold. I looked down at the jumbled sheets and blushed slightly when I saw that the white sheet that Cato had bunched underneath me was stained with blood.

He had warned me that it might happen. He had been damn right. It had seemed like he was hurting me and for a while he had. The pain had shot through my core and I thought that he might tear me in half. But apparently that was normal. And the pain had faded after not long. Cato had made sure that I wasn't embarrassed and I had thanked him for that. The last thing that I had wanted was to do something wrong. But it wasn't like there was anything that I really could have screwed up. I laid on my back the entire time. He said that in time it wouldn't always be that way. I would figure out how to take over and not just lay there.

Cato was on his stomach and I pulled the sheets up so that they were covering most of his back instead of just the bottom of his legs. He had paled since the first time that we had met. Instead of his soft tan that he used to have he looked like he had spent more of his time inside. I assumed that he had. Now I was the one with a deeper tan from my days out in the woods and running around the District. His hair was longer too. It fell behind his ears and I smiled. The short hair had looked wonderful on him but it looked better long. It made him look older. It made him look like the man that he was.

Not the stupid boy that had been so excited to go into the Games. I was glad to see that he was long gone. I sighed and rolled over to the edge of the bed so that I could grab the blood-stained sheet. I shoved it under the bed roughly, making sure that no one would see it. I had no doubts in my mind that if Effie of Haymitch - or worse, Brutus - found the sheets they would immediately know what had happened. And there was no way that I would ever hear the end of it. Hopefully an Avox would find it while we were in the Capitol. That would be for the best considering they can't speak.

Taking it slowly I stood and groaned at the slight pain that shot through my abdomen. Cato had warned me that I would be sore in the morning and he had been right. Dried blood was on my legs and my eyes widened at the sight. It looked like I had just come out of a fight in the Hunger Games. Shaking my head clear of my thoughts I walked over to the bathroom and slid the opaque door closed behind me. There was no way that I could go without a shower. Cinna would see it if I didn't and I wasn't quite sure if I wanted him to know about anything that I had done last night. I didn't want anyone to know what I had done last night.

There was no way that anyone could know what had happened between us last night. Not until I was ready for them to know. And that wouldn't be for a long while. So I slipped into the shower and left Cato to sleep for a little while longer. He had been awake longer than me to run his hands through my hair until I fell asleep. As the rain ran over my body I thought about what everyone that I knew would say to me if they knew what I had done. Cinna would probably just ask me if I was sure that I was ready. He would be one of the few that would support my judgement. It was why I appreciated him.

Haymitch would yell at me for a while and ask why I couldn't just be easy to deal with. That was never the way that I did anything. I always made things ten times harder than they needed to be. Brutus would never let me hear the end of it. He would make jokes all of the time and he would ensure that everyone knew what we had done. Ms. Everdeen would probably just see how I felt emotionally and ensure that I had been safe. Cato had promised that he was safe and I trusted him. I could never bring a child into this world. Prim would blush madly and probably awkwardly ask what it was like. Katniss would do the same, although she might actually genuinely curious. Prim would only ask for the sake of conversation. I smiled just thinking about it.

Gently I pushed the button for the soap to come out and I sighed as the lavender scented lotion spilled out onto my hands. I really needed to wash the blood away. I didn't even want Cato to see it once he woke up. The wash lathered quickly and I found myself thinking about Gale, as much as I really didn't want to think about him right now. What would he think if he could see what I had done? He would probably hate me. He would no longer be able to pretend that we were still the same old friends that we used to be. He would tell me that I was insane. Maybe he would never speak to me again. He would try to kill Cato.

All I knew was that he would tell me that I was sleeping with the enemy. Literally. Gale and I had definitely been more hostile to each since my return from the Capitol and I knew why. It was all because of Cato. He thought that I wasn't thinking straight and he couldn't stand that the Capitol supported our relationship which would always keep us together. Telling him that Cato and I had slept together would only make our strained relationship even worse. And that was something that I couldn't take. I couldn't lose him. Just like there were other people that I couldn't bear to lose.

Turning the dial off for the water I stepped out of the shower and looked myself over in the mirror. Thankfully the blood was long since gone from between my legs. That would have been an interesting topic of choice at the party. And I was really hoping to get out of that party without having to talk too much. I turned to the side and looked myself over. My hair had grown since I had last been in the Capitol. It now hit the bottom of my back and I knew that I would have to cut it soon. Or maybe they'd send another fireball after me to cut it themselves.

Back home I had gained some weight due to the change in my diet but now I had lost weight again after the Victory Tour. I had also lost a little bit of muscle mass. That was to be expected since I no longer hunted every day. I missed being out in the woods and stalking the animals but I wasn't able to hold a knife anymore. I saw the faces of those that I had killed when I did. Part of me knew that it wasn't real but the other part told me that I had seen so many things that shouldn't have been real that I wasn't able to tell the difference anymore. Maybe when I got back I would ask Gale and Katniss to take it slow and help me hunt again.

With a towel wrapped around my chest I walked out into the bedroom and saw that Cato was stirring slightly. He would be awake soon enough. I knew that he muttered in his sleep and I could tell that he was doing it right now. So I walked over to the bed for a moment and listened. He was muttering things under his breath and I could hear that my name was occasionally slipping from his lips. He mumbled a soft apology and I felt a pang in my stomach. I was sure that he was apologizing for something that he thought he had done to me during the Games. But he had saved me. I wished that he knew that.

Humming softly to myself I walked over to the dresser and pulled out something simple for me to wear. I wouldn't be in it for long before Cinna found me and put me in something for the party tonight. So I wanted to get something that Effie would normally complain at me for. I grabbed a tight white shirt that had a cutout in the back and pulled on a pair of blue jeans that were tight all the way down my legs. I slipped on the black combat boots that were sitting at the foot of the bed and I sat back down on the bed. I wanted to enjoy the silence while I had it.

A hand fell onto my back and I yelped slightly. I definitely hadn't been expecting that. The hand had touched my bare skin started to wind its way underneath the fabric and I smiled. Already I felt it burning slightly. Turning back I realized that it was only Cato and I forced my breathing to slow. My hand went up to my heart and I let a few slow breaths out. I counted down from five before nodding at Cato. He looked like he felt slightly bad for scaring me but when I saw the regret in his eyes I smiled at him. He had nothing to feel bad for. He was wonderful.

"You scared me," I said.

He laughed lightly. That probably wasn't something that he needed to hear. He knew that. "I'm sorry," Cato muttered.

He got up on his knees and sat behind me, pressing a kiss against the back of my neck. "I thought that you were still asleep," I said softly. "Can you hand me that?"

Cato grabbed the hairbrush that I wanted. "There you go," he said.

"Thanks."

I started to run it through my hair. "I was asleep. But then I saw that you were up and I figured that I should get up," he said.

The air was slightly awkward with us and I wondered if I should say something about last night. Had it been that bad? Had I done something wrong? Did he wish that I was like the girls that he had been with back in District 2? I wasn't sure that I could handle that. I didn't want it to change our relationship but I should have known that it was going to. It didn't even matter if we ended up falling out of love. We were getting married. There was nothing that we could do. Cato wrapped a hand around my waist and planted a kiss on the top of my head. I smiled slightly and leaned back.

"About last night..." I muttered.

"It was perfect," Cato said, against my throat.

"I didn't even do anything."

"Just being there, with you, was perfect. Are you okay?"

"You didn't laugh at me so I'm great," I said, laughing humorlessly.

"There was nothing to laugh at. Were you...?" Cato trailed off awkwardly.

That made me snort. "Are you actually embarrassed?" I asked. Cato shoved me back against his chest. "It was wonderful, Cato. Strange and kind of painful at times. But it was everything that I wanted. I'm yours. Now and always."

"We're each other's," Cato said.

It was enough to make me smile. I laid in Cato's lap and let him lean down to press a lingering kiss against my mouth. His hands came up to tangle in my hair and tug me close to him. It wasn't long before he jumped over my body and laid himself against me. The two of us tangled together as our limbs knotted and we rolled ourselves over in the bed. I had a feeling that in a matter of moments we were going to be back to the position that we had been in last night. Not that I would have minded that, but I knew that there were other places that we were supposed to be.

So I pushed away from him. "I'm sure that either Haymitch or Effie will be in here any minute now to yell at us for not being already prepared for the party," I said.

"Can't we just stay here for a while?" he asked.

"You know that we're going to get yelled at. And do you really want to be interrupted like this?"

"I wouldn't mind that too much."

We both laughed. "I guess we should get moving," I muttered.

"Before we get interrupted by Effie," Cato said.

With a small laugh I laid the brush down on the table pulled my hair up. "It's almost like looking into a crystal ball," I joked, hoping that I would lighten the mood slightly.

Cato had gotten up to get changed. He was much faster than me. Cato turned back to me and tilted his head as he pulled the zipper of his pants up. He was pulling on a light blue shirt that fell loosely around his body. It still was tight on his arms and I nearly laughed. His arms that looked like they could crush my skull without any bit of effort. I had essentially seen him do just that to Ethan during the Games. I shivered slightly and grabbed a blanket to make it look like I was only slightly cold. I didn't need him to know that part of me was still afraid of him.

"A what?" he asked, tugging the shirt down.

Even in District 12 we had silly things like that. "You've never heard of a crystal ball?" I asked.

"No. What is it?"

Laughing softly I thought back to one of the happier times in my life. "Prim went through a phase three years ago. She thought that these things could let you see into the future," I said with a fond smile.

Cato chuckled. The idea was stupid but it was something fun to goof around with. "That's kind of cute," Cato said.

"It's just something fun for kids to play with back home. Something to make them feel like kids for the day."

"She liked them?" Cato asked.

"She thought they were great. She used to ask me to sit with her and ask the ball questions with her. I still remember her first question. Would she ever go into the Games? She told me that I had to be the one to tell her the answer. I pretended to look into the ball but I knew the answer. No. She never would. Not while I was around," I said.

It was a little strange to remember just how serious I had been when I had answered her. And I had kept my word to her. There was no way that I was going to hurt her like that. I would keep her safe. And I had done just that. Cato grabbed my hand and ran his finger over it. A blush rose to my cheeks and I nearly slapped myself. Get a grip girl. You've done much more intimate things with him. But for some reason it was moments like this that I felt the most vulnerable.

"You're good to her. To all of them that you have back in District 12," Cato said.

I gave him a soft kiss. "They're family. You're good to them back in District 2," I said.

"Not as much as you are in District 12. It's like you said. One big family."

"One day soon you'll be a part of that family."

He grinned sideways at me. "They'll still hate me," Cato said.

"They'll learn to love you. Just like I do."

The two of us exchanged another long kiss with each other. Cato smirked as he lifted me from the bed and pressed me back against the wall. He was always stronger than I was expecting. So I laughed softly as he kept me pinned against him. It wasn't long before he finally backed away from me and got back to getting ready. I brushed my hair out of my face and walked with a tiny limp towards my door. I was a little stiffer than I'd expected to be. Cato laughed loudly and I ground my teeth together. Damn him.

"Slow down there. Wouldn't want to make it too obvious that the precious Girl on Fire isn't quite so innocent anymore," Cato commented lowly.

He was standing with his arms crossed over his chest. He was leaning back against the door with a small smirk on his face and I rolled my eyes. He thought that he was so damn slick. He thought that he was funny and he really wasn't. Not when he was laughing at me for something like that.

"Shut up," I snapped, before grabbing one of my heels and chucking it at him.

He ducked out of the way at the last minute and the heel of the shoe made a small dent in the wall. "Good aim," Cato teased, as he barked out a laugh.

I rolled my eyes. "Asshole," I muttered.

"There it is. I wondered how long it would be before you said that."

"Come on, you idiot. I bet anything that Haymitch wants to talk to us. Tell us stupid things that we already know about a party we want nothing to do with," I said.

"We do the party tonight and we're done here."

"Thankfully. What time do we leave tomorrow?" I asked.

"Effie said it would be first thing in the morning to get to District 12 first thing in the morning two days from now. For the Harvest Festival," Cato said.

It made a smile fall over myself. I was thrilled to be back home. Cato followed me out of the room and the two of us headed into the living room. I knew that Haymitch would be waiting for me at the couch and I sucked in a breath. He was a good man but I knew that he would want to yell at me for something. He almost always did. Before we could get to the living room, Enobaria cut us off and I took a small step back. She was just slightly shorter than Cato leaving her to tower over me. Although the woman was nice she still made me nervous.

"Hey, Cato. Aspen," she greeted.

"Morning, Enobaria," I said.

"I know that you two want to be together but I need the both of you in two separate places," she said.

Naturally. "Okay. What's up?" I asked.

"Aspen, Haymitch wants to talk to you for a while and then Cinna will need you to get ready for the party. Cato, Brutus and I would like to speak with you for a little while before we get you ready for the party," she informed us.

My stomach turned over nervously. I knew where that one was going. Haymitch would want to talk to me about Seneca Crane. That was half of the reason that I wanted Cato there in the first place. Haymitch was usually nicer, Cato would help get me out of tight spaces, and Haymitch wouldn't dare to say anything about my supposed job while Cato was near. My fiancé leaned down to me and gave me a small kiss, which I weakly responded to. He seemed to notice that I wasn't really invested in the kiss but he said nothing about it.

"I'll see you soon," he said.

"See you at the party."

"Try and be nice," he called as I walked away.

I merely laughed and shook my head. "When have you ever known me to be nice?" I asked.

"Never," Cato called back.

We both laughed as I headed off to Haymitch. We would see how the whole being nice would go. At least in reality I wasn't exactly known for my charming attitude. Cato and Enobaria turned to the elevator and I sighed as they went downstairs. I wouldn't see either one of them again until goodnight. Brutus was more than likely waiting for them on the second floor. I watched as the doors closed to the elevator and then turned back. Haymitch was sitting on the couch in the living room and when he saw me he stood.

"Good morning, sweetheart," he said.

"Good morning."

He walked over to the bar and I laughed lightly. It was ten in the morning and he was already getting a drink. Of course, I couldn't blame him. He poured himself a glass of amber liquid and turned to me. "You want a drink too?" he asked, holding the bottle up.

My face paled slightly when I realized that it was the same stuff that Seneca Crane had given me last night. Apparently it was high end. So why the hell was Haymitch drinking it? He just wanted the strong stuff. He liked the stuff that we used to kill germs and stave off infection back in District 12. Of course, this wasn't his home, it was the Capitol. And he would drink anything that he could get his hands on. I knew him well enough to know that.

"Haymitch, it isn't even ten in the morning yet," I said.

"When have you known me to care about that?"

He was about to put the bottle down when suddenly an urge took over me. "Yeah, sure. What the hell? I'll take one," I said.

In the meantime Haymitch poured me a drink. I watched as the liquid rose to the top of the glass and I sighed. I really did need a glass of whatever it was. Just to calm me down. I wasn't really sure what it was but lately I was giving into most of my few temptations. Maybe it was the knowledge that my life wasn't really mine. I just wanted to do anything that made me the slightest bit happier. Or a little more relaxed.

"Anything to help me keep my mind off of tonight," I mumbled, raising the glass to my lips and downing a large gulp.

The drink was bitter and it burned down to my core. I liked it. "We need to talk," Haymitch said, after I handed the glass back.

"Can we skip it?" I asked.

"No. And don't scoff at me and pretend like I'm doing you some damn favor. Kid, I'm trying to keep you alive."

"You've done a marvelous job."

"The Games might be over but we both know that you have a long way to go. I want you to tell me everything that happens between you and Seneca Crane."

I opened my mouth to argue with him but it got me nowhere. "No -"

"Don't! I have a good reason to know. For one, it's gonna help me keep you breathing. And I know that you can't take this on by yourself. No matter how strong you are," he said.

The last part was with the voice of someone who had tried themselves. I knew that Haymitch had gone through a lot. He had lost his family and the woman that he loved at the hands of the Capitol. He had tried to face it by himself and it hadn't worked. He had turned to drinking and he hadn't stopped. More than likely he never would. I knew that I couldn't do it by myself but I was stubborn. It would be the death of me one day. That much I knew.

"I'm stronger than you think," I snapped.

"I know you are."

"I'm stronger than both of you think. Haymitch, I don't need to tell you everything."

The anger flashed through his eyes. "You are going to do what I tell you to do," Haymitch snapped.

"I doubt that you would want to hear everything," I snorted.

He looked like he would slap me across the face. And I wouldn't have blamed him. "This isn't up for debate," Haymitch snapped.

"Haymitch -"

"You are going to tell me everything that happens between you and Seneca Crane. Are we clear?"

The overwhelming urge to say 'yes father' overtook me but I kept my mouth shut. It didn't feel right to say something like that. Not right now. "Sure," I mumbled.

"Aspen, big things are coming," Haymitch said darkly.

My heart dropped all the way into my stomach and I felt bile rise in my throat. It was bad enough that President Snow was threatening me because things were changing. It was even worse that the other people were saying it. Particularly Haymitch, who normally didn't care about anything. It was obvious that things were changing. Lately everything just seemed darker. People seemed to be even more afraid or more unsettled. They were restless. It seemed like it was just because of the Quarter Quell but I knew that something else was there too. Us. Cato and me.

"You aren't the first person to tell me that. What's going on, Haymitch?" I asked. He looked like he was debating telling me something but he kept quiet. "Things are changing. People are more solemn. The Districts are growing antsy. We can all see it. What the hell is happening? Things have been different since Cato and I won the Hunger Games. Why did we change things?"

It was true. Everything had been different since Cato and I had become Victors. The looks that I got from people weren't those of admiration that most Victors got. It was contempt. It seemed like people knew that things were changing and it was my fault. Not that anyone ever blamed Cato. It was all me. Of course, I was the one who had come up with the idea to kill ourselves. I could see it in all of the Districts. I didn't see it here in the Capitol, but I knew that President Snow still saw it.

"No matter what happens, things are going to change. These Games were designed for one person to win. They were designed for Cato to win. But you did too," Haymitch said.

"I know," I whispered.

Everyone wanted Cato to win. He was the one that should have won. "They wanted someone that would listen to them and bend to their every will. That is not you," Haymitch continued.

"It never will be."

"That's a good thing, believe it or not. No matter how dangerous things get."

"So what happens now?"

"I don't know as of right now. You've changed things. No matter what happens, things will never be the same. You saw to that," he said.

Now there was a serious look on his face. My head dropped and I stared down at my lap. How had this happened? There was no simple or nice way to say it. It was my fault. Everything was my fault. Most of the deaths during the Games had been my fault. The reason that Seneca Crane was no longer the Head Gamemaker was my fault. The reason that the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games had produced two Victors was my fault. Everything that had happened in the past few months was my fault. And now there was nothing that I could do but flee.

"I didn't mean to do anything," I said softly.

Haymitch laid a hand on my shoulder and I looked up. "I know that. But they don't," he said.

He was right. I was sure that Snow was making it sound like everything that I had done recently had been all a part of a bigger plan. But that wasn't true. All I wanted was to save Prim and get home. Things had just gotten complicated. Cato had made everything complicated. As much as I wished that he hadn't.

"What do I do?" I asked.

"Nothing for now. Keep calm, do everything that we've already taught you to do, and just remember that everyone here in the Capitol loves you. It's easy."

"Lucky me."

"Come on. This isn't something that I need to unload on you now."

"You have astounding timing," I snapped.

"We need to get you down to Cinna. He'll be getting you ready for the party tonight," he said.

I rolled my eyes. Of course I couldn't forget the party. It was so important that I looked pretty and made sure that everyone else was happy. I came last. "Joy," I muttered.

"I know. We all hate it," Haymitch said, leading me to the elevator.

The doors to the elevator slid closed and I slumped against the walls. I looked out of the glass elevator and saw that Finnick was walking out on the balcony of the tenth floor. I hadn't even known that he would be here this weekend. But I was thrilled to see him right now. I wished that I had known that he would be here before. Finnick caught my eyes and the two of us waved at each other. I wondered what he was here for, but the answer was obvious. Either the same reason that I would be going to Seneca Crane tonight or he really was here for the party. A number of Victors would be attending. It was a celebration.

A red-headed girl was walking with him and she gave me a small smile. I smiled back at her and gave a small wave. It was Annie Cresta. She was one of the first people that Finnick had mentored after he'd won. He had fallen in love with her while he'd been her Mentor but she had lost her mind in the Games when she had seen her District partner beheaded. I knew how she felt. My memory of Peeta's death was horrifying. They both turned away from me and continued to walk. She really was very pretty. I could see how Finnick had fallen for her. She was extremely sweet too. I was glad that he had her.

The doors opened and Haymitch led me out into the hallway. Only a few people were milling about. Someone that was altered to look like some type of cat walked by me and my eyes widened. These people were so weird. I would never understand why they dressed the way that they did but that was probably for the better. Haymitch pushed the door open and said a quick goodbye to me before leaving me alone. I walked into the room and sat down at the couch. Tea was already set out and I grabbed myself a cup. Cinna really did know everything that I wanted. The door me slid open and I knew that it was him.

"Good afternoon, dear," Cinna called out.

I turned to him and grinned. "Hi, Cinna. Changing it up, I see?" I teased.

He was in a blue shirt. It was probably the only time that I hadn't seen him wearing black. "It's your newest design. Do you like it?" he asked.

"I love it. I'm quite talented."

He walked up to me and I gave him a hug before plopping down in the chair in front of the vanity. "I'm glad that you like it. It will be out in stores soon enough," Cinna explained.

"It's lovely. I've outdone myself. I'm glad to see you."

"As am I."

"Finally I'm with someone who won't yell at me or tell me everything that I'm doing wrong," I said.

Cinna smiled. "You've done nothing wrong," Cinna said.

"Thank you."

Without another word, Cinna went to work on my hair and I slipped down slightly in the chair. He pulled out a pair of scissors and I grimaced. Damn it. I hated cutting my hair. But I knew that there was no point in arguing with him. He would do whatever he wanted, no matter what I said. At least the scissors were better than getting my hair sheared off by a fireball. As the scissors began to snip at my locks I scowled into the mirror. Where the hell had the rest of my Prep Team gone?

"Cinna, where are Flavius, Octavia, and Venia? I haven't seen them since I got here. Are they okay?" I asked, hoping that they were okay.

They were major pains in the asses but I couldn't bear them dying because I had done something stupid. Enough people had died because of me. I had seen them on the train, of course, but they had mysteriously vanished once we had gotten to the Capitol and I hadn't seen them since. Cinna smiled at me as he cut the last bit of hair. It was down to the middle of my back now and was layered so that it fell in different lengths around my head. He set the scissors down and pulled out the curling iron - which I had finally learned what it was called.

"They're fine," he said. I let out a breath of air. Good. At least someone was safe from the disaster that I was becoming. "There hasn't been much need for them. You have kept clean since we brought you from District 12 so I don't need them. You've just been coming straight to me because of that."

Finally that was something that the Capitol did that made sense. "That's good," I mumbled.

"But they are getting ready for the party tonight," he added on.

"They're coming?" I asked, surprised.

The Prep Teams normally weren't considered to be important enough to attend such events. It would be the first important Capitol party that they would be invited to. "All because of how stunning you've been. They're very grateful," Cinna said.

"Oh... Well I suppose I'm happy for them."

Cinna laughed and turned me from the mirror. He knew that it drove me nuts that I wasn't allowed to ever see my costumes before I was in them and the look was complete. "Sorry, dear," he said.

"The dreaded Presidential Party," I groaned.

This wouldn't be the first party that he had ever gotten me ready for. But he knew that this was the first one that I was completely dreading. "It will be over before you know it," Cinna said.

"I'll be there all night."

"One o'clock. That's when the party ends."

"In the morning?"

"You would think that you would be used to it," Cinna teased.

"You would think, but I'm not. I just don't want to go. It's the icing on the cake of the monstrosity that was the Victory Tour. As if these past few weeks haven't been bad enough," I said softly, hoping that there were no cameras in the room.

"Close your eyes," Cinna said.

That was much faster than I thought that it would be. I had thought that it would take forever to get my ready for the party. But that was when I realized that it was just time for makeup. I groaned and closed my eyes. It was normally the longest process and it was the one that I wanted over the fastest. It was annoying to not be able to move at all. I wasn't sure how Effie was able to do it every morning. And far more than I had on. But that was just the way that she had grown up. It was like how I was able to get up and go hunting every morning. Well... how it used to be.

"Thankfully it will be over tonight," Cinna said.

"Technically tomorrow morning."

"Don't be smart."

"Sorry," I said, giggling at Cinna.

"I know that you'll get through it just fine. I won't be there."

"Why not?"

"I'll be working in my office," he said.

"Damn you," I said halfheartedly.

"My apologies, darling. Don't worry. I have to be working on your newest designs." It made the corners of my lips quirk upwards. Why couldn't Cinna ever be there? "But I'll be there to say goodbye to you in the morning," Cinna said. At least he would be there for my goodbye. After a few moments, Cinna spoke up again. "You're abnormally quiet. It isn't a good question, but how are you doing?"

He knew that something was bothering me but the question was whether or not I should tell him. No. I knew that. People were always in danger around me and Cinna was close to the top of the list. Not as much so as my family, but Cinna was doing things that I knew were bothering the Capitol. He continuously made me look like the star of the show and he made sure that people would not forget the Mockingjay. One day that would come to haunt him. And I could only pray that I was there to stop it. But maybe I could say something...

"You're right. That wasn't a smart question. I'm not good Cinna," I admitted. But I couldn't tell him why. He was in too much danger already. "But I don't think I'll ever be good again. I don't know if I ever was good. But it doesn't matter. I have people that I love surrounding me. Haymitch, Cato, Effie, Finnick, Prim, Katniss, Gale, Ms. Everdeen, and you."

"And I love you too. Very much," Cinna said.

Cinna was one of the few people that meant everything to me. He was a huge part of my life. He hadn't come in as a good thing but somehow he made himself be the best person to me. He was the one person that always supported me. "As long as people I love are around, I'll always be okay," I said.

"I'm glad that you think that way," Cinna said.

There was just something calming about his voice and the way that he spoke. There was a way that he had about himself that always managed to calm me down. No matter how many times that things made me nervous. Right now I was definitely feeling nervous. About the party and what would come after tonight. We fell silent after that last comment, just like we usually did. Cinna liked to work in relative silence after we got out whatever we felt the need to say. So I slipped into a light sleep and lazily walked over to the pedestal where I would be getting dressed.

Cinna slipped me into a dress and I smiled at the feel of it. It was soft and light but I could tell that there was a lot of fabric on it. Cinna told me to open my eyes and I did as told. My makeup was the same dull red and dark black that coated my eyes as it normally did. The light blush was dusted over my cheeks and my lips were painted a soft pink. My hair was down and curled lightly. It fell in long curls down my back and half of my hair was pulled up. There was a jeweled pin in my hair that held up the tied portion of my hair and it was shaped like a heart. I smiled at it and let my eyes fall down to the dress.

It was tight down my body and there was a slit that went up to my thigh. It was a pure white with red rubies running down the length of the dress. It hit around my feet and the bottom half of the fabric was flowing. The slight breeze in the room from the air conditioning was whipping the bottom of the dress around my ankles and I smiled. It looked somewhat like a wedding dress. The rubies shone brightly whenever I moved. My shoes were a low heel with bright diamonds on them. On the very edge of my left shoe was my Mockingjay pin. I grabbed the fabric that fell around my ankles and pulled it over the pin.

It was brave of Cinna to do that. But that was the type of person that he was. He was brave. I wished that I could be like him sometimes. He was never afraid, even when he did things that could mean his life. I wished that I could do things like that but I had myself and others to protect. Not that he didn't. He was clearly the better person. He always had been. He always would be. Giving Cinna a small smile, happy with the dress that he had given me to wear, I twirled for a moment before stepping off of the pedestal.

"It's lovely. Just like always," I told him with an honest smile.

He allowed me to whip the dress back and forth for a moment to get used to wearing it. After the few months of being back in jeans and jackets it was strange to get acclimated to the dressier nights in the Capitol. I might have hated everything about these people but I had to admit that sometimes the costumes were a little fun to wear for a night. Cinna bowed his head slightly before pushing my head up to meet his eyes.

"It pales in comparison to you," he said.

I leaned up to give him a small kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Cinna," I said.

He gave me a little grin and hug, knowing that it will be the last time that I would see him tonight. "Good luck tonight, dear. I must be going but I'll see you in the morning," he said.

"See you tomorrow."

"Keep calm tonight and just bear in mind that tomorrow you will be on your way back to District 12."

"Thankfully," I groaned.

Tonight could not go by fast enough. All I wanted was to be back in District 12 with my friends. I wanted to get back to normal. I was sick of acting like a broken doll that would crumble at even the slightest change in the wind. I had to get everything to go back to normal. I was sick of acting like this. So as Cinna led me from the room I made a pact with myself that whenever I got back to District 12 I would start hunting again. I would get used to using my knives and bow and arrows again. The Games were over. I had to move on with my life. I had to enjoy the last few months of freedom that I had before my escape.

That meant that I couldn't just keep avoiding the problems at hand. I had to get back to the life that I had been living before the Games. I knew that things would never go back to the way that they had been before the Games but some of that was okay. I had Cato. I had Cinna. I had Haymitch. I had Finnick. The men that had become some of the most important people in my life. They were the things that I didn't regret. Effie met me at the limo and I hopped inside, immediately tuning her out. Cato was in the car too and I grinned at him. I could tell that he was ignoring her and it made me laugh lightly.

Haymitch climbed in the car and we were immediately off. We couldn't be late to the party. Not when we were the guests of honor. He wasn't really listening to Effie either as she continued to prattle on. He was more just saying things to irritate her. We arrived at the Presidential Palace quickly and I groaned internally. Cameras were everywhere and the whole place must have had twice as many people in this party as the one from before my Games. Lovely. More people that I would have to pretend to like. As we got out of the car and headed to the stairs, Effie clapped her hands together.

There were two huge fountains having a little show at the tops of the staircase. "The Presidential Palace. The party of the year. Eyes bright. Chins up. Smiles on. I'm talking to you, Aspen," Effie said. I scoffed. Naturally she would single me out. Cato laughed too and I reached out to slap him. "Now there will be photographers interviews everyone will be here to celebrate you. My Victors. Breath. Take it all in children. This is all for you."

This was not for us. It was for them. We didn't want this. We wanted to go home. But we wouldn't dare say that for fear of our own lives. "Now there's a novel thought. Something that is done completely for us?" I asked sarcastically.

Cato was giving me an amused smirk. "Attitude," Effie snapped.

"We've seen how well that works so far. I like the decoration, Effie," I said.

"Isn't it lovely?" she asked, mistaking my sarcasm for genuine interest.

"It's cozy," Cato said, as we walked over the top of the staircase and headed into the shark tank.

"Attitude," she snapped again.

She then turned away from me and plastered a smile on her face again. "Look at you. Turning into me," I teased.

"Smile," Cato prompted.

"Oh... That's a lot of people," I muttered, spotting the large crowd that was waiting for us.

"Come. Come. Excuse us. Come, come." I glanced up and saw a fire-breather that immediately made me look away. So that's how you want to play it, Snow. "Hold hands," Effie called back.

Cato and I linked our hands together immediately. Even I had to admit. Sometimes the attention was just a little bit nice. All of the cheering and happy faces to see you couldn't help but to make you smile. So I did. I smiled and graciously accepted the compliments and hands on my shoulders to congratulate me. Cato's grip was tight on me as we walked and I knew that I was burning red. At least the makeup would hide my blush. Cameras were flashing around us and people all around us were yelling to get our attention as we pushed through the crowd.

The party had no equal. The forty-foot ceiling had been transformed into the night sky and the stars looked exactly as they did at home. I supposed that they looked the same from the Capitol, but who would know? There was always too much light from the city to see the stars here. About halfway between the floor and the ceiling, musicians floated on what looked like fluffy white clouds, but I couldn't see what held them aloft.

Traditional dining tables had been replaced by innumerable stuffed sofas and chairs, some surrounding fireplaces, others beside fragrant flower gardens or ponds filled with exotic fish, so that people could eat and drink and do whatever they pleased in the utmost comfort. There was a large tiled area in the center of the room that served as everything from a dance floor, to a stage for the performers who came and went, to another spot to mingle with the flamboyantly dressed guests. I was desperately trying to avoid the fire-breather, as Effie walked us through the mansion.

But the real star of the evening was the food. Tables laden with delicacies lined the walls. Everything you could think of, and things you would have never dreamed of, laid in wait. Whole roasted cows and pigs and goats still turning on spits. Huge platters of fowl stuffed with savory fruits and nuts. Ocean creatures drizzled in sauces or begging to be dipped in spicy concoctions. Countless cheeses, breads, vegetables, sweets, waterfalls of wine, and streams of spirits that flickered with flames. My appetite had returned with my desire to fight back. After weeks of feeling too worried to eat, I was famished.

"I want to taste everything in the room," I told Cato.

As we continued walking through the hallway I could see him trying to read my expression and trying to figure out my sudden transformation. It was the first time that I had looked genuinely happy in a long while. And since he didn't know that President Snow thought that I had failed, since I didn't want to tell him yet, he could only assume that I thought that we had succeeded. Or maybe he thought that I was drunk on excitement over last night and our engagement. His eyes reflected his puzzlement but only briefly, because we were on camera.

"Then you'd better pace yourself," he said.

"Okay, no more than one bite of each dish," I said.

My resolve is almost immediately broken at the first table, which had twenty or so soups. For a long time I sipped on the simple chicken noodle soup. It was one of my childhood favorites. That was when Mr. Everdeen was still alive and he was able to afford the soup. I hated to admit that the Capitol's was much better than the one back in District 12. My resolve was definitely broken when I encountered a creamy pumpkin brew sprinkled with slivered nuts and tiny black seeds.

"I could just eat this all night!" I cheered happily.

It only increased the amount of cheers from the Capitol people. They loved that I loved what they had to offer. It was what eventually turned me off from eating any more of the concoction. I tried to stop eating but I weakened again at a clear green broth that I could only describe as tasting like springtime, and again when I tried a frothy pink soup dotted with raspberries. Faces appeared before us suddenly, names were exchanged that I immediately forgot, pictures were taken every few seconds, and annoying kisses were brushed on cheeks.

Apparently my Mockingjay pin had spawned a new fashion sensation, because several people came up to me to show me their accessories. My bird had been replicated on belt buckles, embroidered into silk lapels, and even tattooed in intimate places. Cato had saved me from a number of awkward conversations and showings. Everyone wanted to wear the winner's token. I could only imagine how nuts the who thing made President Snow. But what could he do? The Games were such a hit here, where the knives were only a symbol of a desperate girl trying to save her lover.

Cato and I made no effort to find company but we were constantly sought out. We were what no one wanted to miss at the party. I acted delighted at each new person that presented themselves for me to speak to, but I had zero interest in the Capitol people. I wanted to be far away from them. And they were only distractions from the food. Every table presented new temptations and even on my restricted one-taste-per-dish regimen, I began filling up quickly. I picked up a small roasted bird, bit into it, and my tongue flooded with orange sauce. It was incredible.

But I made Cato eat the remainder because I wanted to keep tasting things, and the idea of throwing away food, as I saw so many people doing so casually, was abhorrent to me. After about ten tables I was stuffed, and we had only sampled a small number of the dishes available. Eventually Effie brought us out of the lobby of President Snow's mansion and into what I could only assume was the library with all of the books lining the walls.

"The library. All mahogany," Effie informed as we walked into the room. The books, I realized, were all politics. I scoffed and walked forward, trying to avoid touching anyone besides Cato or Haymitch. "Hello, hello." Effie was greeting a number of her friends. "Not yet, not yet. Oh. Curtains." Effie ran her hands through someone's hat that vaguely resembled curtains. "Everybody who's anybody is here and they all want to meet you. Flavius. Octavia." I waved at my Styling Team.

"Try one of these. They're divine," Octavia said.

Just then the rest of my Prep Team descended on us. Flavius and Venia came sprinting over as fast as they could in their heels and I smiled at them. As irritable as they made me I was happy to see them. It was rather amusing to see them anyways. They were all nearly incoherent between the alcohol that they had consumed and their ecstasy at being at such a grand affair. Prep Teams were never invited to the marvelous parties like this one. Only because I was a Victor were they invited.

"Why aren't you eating?" Octavia asked me.

"I have been, but I can't hold another bite," I said.

They all laughed as if that was the silliest thing that they had ever heard. "No one lets that stop them!" Flavius said. They led us over to a table that held tiny stemmed wineglasses filled with clear liquid. "Drink this!"

Cato picked one up to take a sip and they lost it. "Not here!" Octavia shrieked.

"You have to do it in there," Venia said, pointing to doors that led to the toilets. "Or you'll get it all over the floor!"

Cato and I stared at each other before looking at the glass again and putting it together. "You mean this will make me puke?" he asked.

My Prep Team laughed hysterically. "Of course, so you can keep eating. I've been in there twice already. Everyone does it, or else how would you have any fun at a feast?" Venia said.

For a while I just stared at them. They were all laughing. Effie, Venia, Flavius, and Octavia. That was when I spotted how many people were holding the little fluted wineglasses. Everyone was doing it. Just like she said. I was speechless as I glanced around and stared at the pretty little glasses and all that they implied. It was horrible what these people could do. Cato set his back on the table with such precision you would think that it might detonate.

"Come on, Aspen, let's dance."

That was definitely what I needed. Music filtered down from the clouds as he led me away from the Prep Team, the table, and out onto the floor. We knew only a few dances at home, the kind that went with fiddle and flute music and required a good deal of space. But in District 2 they were taught these kind of dances. So Cato led and let me follow. The music was slow and dreamlike, so Cato pulled me into his arms and we moved in a circle with practically no steps at all. You could do that dance on a pie plate. We were quiet for a while. Then Cato spoke in a strained voice.

"You go along, thinking you can deal with it, thinking maybe they're not so bad, and then you -"

He cut himself off. All I could think of was the emaciated bodies of the children on our kitchen table as Katniss's mother prescribed what the parents couldn't give. More food. Now that we were rich, she would send some home with them. But often in the old days, there was nothing to give and the child was past saving anyways. And here in the Capitol they were vomiting for the pleasure of filling their bellies again and again. Not from some illness of body or mind and not from spoiled food. It was what everyone did at a party. Expected. Part of the fun.

One day when I dropped by to give Hazelle the game, Vick was home sick with a bad cough. Being part of Gale's family, the kid had to eat better than ninety percent of the rest of District 12. But he still spent about fifteen minutes talking about how they'd opened a can of corn syrup from Parcel Day and each had a spoonful on bread and were going to maybe have more later in the week. How Hazelle had said he could have a bit in a cup of tea to soothe his cough but he wouldn't feel right unless the others had some too. If it was like that at Gale's, what was it like in the other houses?

"Cato, they bring us here to fight to the death for their entertainment. Really, this is nothing by comparison," I said.

"I know. I know that. It's just sometimes I can't stand it anymore. To the point where... I'm not sure what I'll do." He paused, then whispered, "Maybe we were wrong, Aspen."

"About what?"

"About trying to subdue things in the Districts."

His words completely shocked me. But they were the truth. I hadn't known that it bothered him that much. But Cato had told me so much before. He had mentioned more than once that District 2 wasn't quite as well off as I had always thought that they were. Even they sometimes had problems getting food to all of their residents. And when there was enough food, it was always just enough. No one would waste it. My head turned swiftly from side to side, but no one seemed to have heard. The camera crew was sidetracked at a table of shellfish and the couples dancing around us were either too drunk or too self-involved to notice.

"Sorry," he said.

He should be. This was no place to be voicing such thoughts. "Save it for the train," I said.

But his words had triggered something in me. He was right. This was all so wrong. "Aspen? Are you alright?" Cato asked.

Cato twirled us, his hand low on my back. "You're right. Look around you, Cato. It might be like this in District 2 -"

"It isn't," Cato interrupted.

"But this isn't anything like District 12. People are starving back home. I damn near starved there."

"I know," Cato whispered.

"Peeta... Peeta was the only reason I lived. He saved Katniss and Prim. Here they just throw away more stuff -" I continued until I was interrupted.

Haymitch placed his hand on my shoulder and interrupted my dance with Cato. It had almost startled me. And for a moment I was really hoping that no one had overheard what we were just saying. Especially if the person behind us was someone that could kill us. Of course, that was pretty much everyone in here. We broke apart and stood to look at Haymitch. He was standing with a man that I had never seen before.

"Aspen. Cato. This... is Plutarch Heavensbee," Haymitch said.

We both nodded to the man. Cato extended a hand to shake and I pressed a small kiss against his cheek - as Effie had taught me to do so many times before. Plutarch was an older man who looked to be maybe ten years older than Haymitch, with hair that was thinning and a pale blonde. He was heavy set and had a smile that cut right through you. I wondered if he was from the Districts. He was rather plain. Nothing about him said that he was from the Capitol. For a moment he almost reminded me of Cinna.

"He wanted to meet the both of you before you two had to leave in the morning. He is the new Head Gamemaker. Successor to Seneca Crane," Haymitch informed us.

My heart nearly stopped. Seneca had told me about him after the Games had ended. This was the man that would be running the next Games. This was the man that would be in charge of the Quarter Quell. He was one of the people who supported the Games. He wanted to watch innocent people slaughter each other. Why the hell did Haymitch want me to meet him? The only reason that I could think of was because Plutarch had ordered Haymitch to introduce us. But why me? Why not Cato? He was the fighter between the two of us. But I was the Mockingjay.

"It's a tough act to follow," Cato said.

"Cato!" Effie warned.

My face warped into a scowl as Effie and Plutarch laughed awkwardly. "Cato. May I steal her for a dance?"

Part of me wanted to beg him to say no but I knew that Cato couldn't do that. He smiled at Plutarch and backed away, giving my hip a small squeeze. "Please. Just don't get too attached," Cato teased.

He was so much better at this than me. "I will try very hard. But your lovely bride-to-be seems very easy to become attached to," Plutarch said.

"She is," Cato said.

No part of me wanted to dance with Plutarch Heavensbee. I wanted nothing more than to dig my nails into his palms to force him to release me but I had to play diplomat. So I let him lead me into a dance. I didn't want to feel his hands, one resting against mine, and one on my hip. I wasn't used to being touched, except by Cato and my family, and I ranked Gamemakers somewhere below maggots in terms of creatures I wanted in contact with my skin. But he seemed to sense this and held me almost at arm's length as we turned on the floor. I hated to admit that I appreciated it.

"I would hate to stand between a man and his bride to be," Plutarch said. "The Girl on Fire. It is such a pleasure to meet you. I've seen you everywhere recently. I've heard even more about you."

My eyes narrowed. "I hope I live up to the rumors," I said.

"You outshine them."

"Thank you."

"How are you enjoying the party?"

Be careful Aspen. This is his first impression. He could make something awful when it came to what happened to my Tributes in the Quarter Quell. Even if I was long gone from District 12 and the rest of Panem by then. I knew that I couldn't say anything too offensive. That would have been very dangerous. But I also couldn't make him think that he could step all over me. I had to make a balance. Clearing my throat, I looked around at anything except for Plutarch as I thought about an appropriate answer.

"Well it isn't like I haven't seen it before. The Games were postponed for a day so there was a party," I informed him.

"I'm aware," Plutarch said.

"But this is so much more than it was last year. It's a little overwhelming," I said.

He laughed lightly. "It's appalling," he said. My eyes shot up to him. Maybe he wasn't quite so typical. What kind of Gamemaker thought that anything to do with the Capitol or the Games was appalling? "Still if you abandon your wrong judgment it can be fun."

There went my bit of faith. My eyes narrowed and for a moment I let my tongue loose. "Seems like that is the theme of the whole Capitol. Abandon all senses of wrong and right and sit back and enjoy. How different the world would be if all of the Districts had the leisure to think that way too," I said.

Unfortunately he didn't let my comment go unnoticed. "I had heard that you had a sharp tongue on you," he said.

"Perhaps I learned it from my parents."

His grin turned upwards again. "Perhaps. I'm glad that you haven't disappointed me. Of course, I knew that you weren't one to disappoint," he said.

"I'm glad to not disappoint."

"You'd never disappoint. Would you?"

"Of course not." He grinned again. Either he thought that I was genuinely funny or he was thinking of ways to continue making my life miserable. "So are you having fun?" I asked, hoping to distract the man from my earlier comment.

"I'm Head Gamemaker. Fun is my job."

The Head Gamemaker knew something about fun? Depended on who you asked, I supposed. "Is that so?" I asked. He grinned at me again. Clearly he thought that I was extremely amusing. "When Seneca Crane had too much fun he seemed to lose his job. Doesn't sound very fun to me."

To my shock it seemed that Plutarch was actually surprised at my statement. And he definitely seemed uncomfortable at my mention of the previous Head Gamemaker. Why was that? They all knew that Seneca Crane had nearly been killed. So why was everyone acting so nervous about it? Things were fishy here in the Capitol, just like they had always been, but things were getting worse. Every day it seemed like something new was happening. And I seemed to be at the center of it.

"Seneca decided to... uh... renounce his position his position of the Head Gamemaker after your Games," Plutarch said.

"Decided," I scoffed.

He had told me that it wasn't his choice. "Perhaps it was just too much fun for him to handle," he suggested.

Forcing myself to look up, I finally held my head up to look Plutarch Heavensbee in the eyes and I shook my head at him. He raised his eyebrows at me and I waited for him to say something but he never did. He grinned at me and I took it as a sign to continue speaking. He was clearly interested in what else I wanted to say. The new Head Gamemaker made me nervous but he didn't do the same things to me that Seneca Crane did. But maybe that was because of the things that I knew that Seneca would do to me.

"He decided to renounce his position just like he decided to let me live when I pulled out the daggers?" I asked. The grin on his face spread. "I know the one reason that he's still alive. It's me."

He didn't need to know anything else about the old Head Gamemaker but he needed to know that I wasn't a stupid kid that had lucked out. I wasn't just some rebel without a cause. I was a seriously pissed off District 12 resident that wasn't going down without a fight.

"Perhaps that's true," Plutarch said.

"I know that it is."

"Head Gamemakers have never had the most secure job in the world. I would think that you would know that over anyone else in this place."

My head tilted to the side at his little comment. Why be here? Especially if he thought that this was all appalling. "Well if they don't have a secure job than why are you here?" I asked.

He smiled at me and shook his head. "Same reason as you," he said. I knitted my eyebrows. Being forced? The Capitol didn't force people to become Head Gamemaker. There was a line for that job. "I volunteered."

The two of us continued to spin around the dance floor. I was glad that he said something else to keep me from focusing on his last comment. We chitchatted about the party, about the entertainment, about the food, and then, finally, he made a joke about avoiding punch since training. I didn't get it for a while. Then I realized that he was the man who tripped backward into the punch bowl when I shot an arrow and threw the knives at the Gamemakers during the training session. There was now a wide grin on my face. I knew that I'd seen him before.

"Oh, you're one who -"

I laughed and cut myself off, remembering him splashing back into the punch bowl. "Yes. And you'll be pleased to know I've never recovered," Plutarch said.

"Well there were twenty-two other kids that never recovered too," I said, before I could stop myself.

Idiot! Plutarch smiled. "You truly are a delight," Plutarch said.

Change the subject, Aspen. "Are you planning the Quarter Quell Games already?" I asked.

"Oh, yes. Well, they've been in the works for years, of course. Arenas aren't built in a day. But the, shall we say, flavor of the Games is being determined now. Believe it or not, I've got a strategy meeting tonight," he said. Plutarch stepped back and pulled out a gold watch on a chain from a vest pocket. He flipped open the lid, spotted the time, and frowned. "I'll have to be going soon." He turned the watch so I could see the face. "It starts at midnight."

"That seems late for -"

My words were coming out just fine but then something distracted me. Something very, very, strange. Something that I never would have expected to see. Plutarch had run his thumb across the crystal face of the watch and for just a moment an image appeared, glowing as if it was lit by candlelight. It was another Mockingjay. Exactly like the pin on my dress. A replica of mine back home. Only this one disappeared. He snapped the watch closed. Was he trying to let me see it?

"That's very pretty," I said.

"Oh, it's more than pretty. It's one of a kind. If anyone asks about me, say I've gone home to bed. The meetings are supposed to be kept secret. But I thought it'd be safe to tell you," he said.

"Yes. Your secret's safe with me."

"Well, I'll see you next summer at the Games, Aspen. Best wishes on your engagement, and good luck with your mother."

"I'll need it," I said. He was about to leave the dance when I remembered something. "Plutarch. Why would you volunteer? Who would give up a safe life as some Capitol person to get so close to the Games? An unsecure job with some of the most unstable people surrounding you."

I motioned to the colorful mob around us. "Ambition," he said. That was a stupid answer. It was the one that he was expected to say. "A chance to make the Games mean something."

That time I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my throat. "The Games don't mean anything. It only means to scare us," I said. He grinned at me. "You might never have seen it but I have. I've seen the fear on the faces of those kids that file into the Square on the same day every year. I've seen the tears glisten in the eyes of the kids who know to start counting their days. I know how it feels to lose control of your life."

For a moment I thought I saw something like pride flash through his eyes but it was gone before I could place it. Plutarch Heavensbee was not the man that I was expecting. He grinned at me and I realized that the music had already stopped and we were no longer moving. We were simply standing together, not breaking eye contact. Thankfully the cameras that were taking pictures of us would likely just say that we were so caught up in chatting with each other that we'd barely noticed the end of the song. He leaned down to my ear and I froze.

"Maybe it's you who inspired me to come back," Plutarch said. I shivered. He looked behind us and I followed his eyes. President Snow was standing atop the balcony and Plutarch broke away from me. We bowed - a common gesture in the Capitol. "The Presidential Welcome. Have a nice night, Aspen. I'm sure we'll meet again."

Plutarch disappeared and I wander through the crowd, looking for Cato, as strangers congratulated me. On my engagement, on my victory at the Games, and on my choice of lipstick. I responded, but really I was thinking about Plutarch showing off his pretty, one-of-a-kind watch to me. There was something strange about it. Almost clandestine. But why? Maybe he thought that someone else would steal his idea of putting a disappearing Mockingjay on a watch face. Yes. He probably paid a fortune for it and now he couldn't show it to anyone because he was afraid that someone would make a cheap, knockoff version. Only in the Capitol.

Effie walked up to me and I stared at her with a blank face. "Aspen. Come. The President awaits," she said.

I didn't care if he was waiting. He could die waiting. But that would mean that my family would die too. "Wonderful," I groaned.

Begrudgingly I followed her over to the area beneath the balcony. Snow was sipping on his wine as everyone filed underneath the place. Cato came to stand next to me. "You okay?" he asked.

"Of course. How could we ever make the precious President wait?" Both Cato and Haymitch scoffed.

"Do you think we convinced him?" Cato asked softly.

Snow held his glass out and an Avox adjusted his microphone. My heart dropped into my stomach. Now was the wrong time for us to be saying things like that. The two of us smiled sadly at each other and my heart dropped. If he didn't think that we had convinced President Snow I hated to hear what the man thought of us. But I knew that right now he would say nothing negative about the Victory Tour. He would thank us and compliment us. He would say what the Capitol people wanted to hear. He would play his part. Just like everyone else had to play theirs.

"Do you think we can ever really convince him?" I asked Cato. "He will always see exactly what he wants to see. We've done everything that we can. I'm not sure what else we can do."

"Tonight," President Snow started. I looked up. "On this the last day of their tour. I want to welcome our two Victors. Two young people who embody our ideals. Of strength and valor. And I personally want to congratulate them on the announcement of their engagement. Your love has inspired us. And I know it will go on inspiring us. Everyday. For as long as you may live," he said.

He raised his glass to us and the other Capitol people followed suit. They were all cheering but I knew that President Snow would sooner have me shot where I stood. There was no doubt in my mind that he wanted to shoot me where I stood. Haymitch handed both Cato and I flutes on champagne - that I made sure wouldn't make me puke - and we raised them up to President Snow. I plastered on a fake smile and drank down the champagne. It had a fruity taste to it and I had to force myself to keep it down. It tasted like roses. With my smile still on my face I leaned over to Cato and stood tall as I whispered in his ear.

"And we all know how short he would like that to be," I said, faking a smile to make the people think I was whispering words of love.

The two of us raised our glasses one last time to President Snow before we were allowed to leave and go about our business. We turned away from the balcony as President Snow disappeared over the edge and I took Cato's hand. But we weren't together for a moment before Brutus parted the crowd and walked up to us. He was dressed in a dark red suit and looked like he had actually washed himself. I had thought that he was coming over to tell Cato something but instead he held out his hand to me. I raised my eyebrows at him and stared for a moment.

"Miss Girl on Fire," he greeted.

"Funny," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Since it seems like you're giving out dances, I think I'd like to take my own turn."

He was holding a hand out to me. Even Cato looked shocked. I raised one eyebrow. "Really, Brutus?" I asked.

"Come on, kid," he said.

Enobaria walked over and I scowled when Cato grabbed her hand and pulled her out for a dance, shoving me into Brutus as he walked past. Traitor. Brutus grabbed me and brought me onto the floor. "What do you think you're doing?" I asked.

"Dancing."

"I've danced in this place enough for one lifetime with enough assholes that my head could explode."

Brutus merely laughed and spun me. He was a pain in the ass but I had to admit that he was a good dancer. Had Cato had gotten his dance moves from Brutus? "It's only one dance kiddo. And how could you be so cruel to a man that wanted to make sure that you lived through the Games?" he asked.

"That's a good joke."

"I did."

"I doubt that."

He wanted Cato to kill me through the entire Games. He was still hoping that Cato might kill me. "Don't look at me like that. You know, I wanted you to live the entire time," Brutus said.

"Did you now?"

"The thing with the little girl... Sweet and sickening. But then I saw what you were really capable of. You were so tough. So irritating too," he added.

As he twirled me again on the floor I rolled my eyes. He was showing off for the Capitol and they were eating it up. Cameras were flashing everywhere and I was forcing a smile on my face. We both probably looked happy but I was pissed. I just had to keep smiling. President Snow wouldn't be happy if I had a frown on my face. Brutus knew exactly how to irritate me. He always had and it was only getting worse now.

"Wow... Thank you. It takes quite the man to admit that he's intimidated by a little girl," I said, a cruel smile on my face.

"Yes. You're quite frightening."

"A girl that charmed your toughest Tribute and made you look like a fool more than once."

Brutus scoffed and dipped me lowly. I shrieked in surprise and he laughed loudly. "What Cato sees in you I'll never know."

"That makes two of us," I said, to try and keep him from being able to embarrass me even more.

"How about the cousin?" Brutus asked, grinning.

"What are you -?"

"Ah, ah, I have something else to say. Something to say before our dance ends. Things are coming to a close here in the Capitol. Be careful."

That was the first time in a long time that I had seen a serious look on Brutus's face. He always looked like he wanted to laugh. The serious look was strange. Every biting comment that I had went out the window with his last comment and instead I let my thoughts all center on his words. Why was everyone telling me that things were changing? There was a plan going on here. Why wasn't I involved in it?

"What do you mean, things are coming to a close?" I asked. The Victor remained silent. "Brutus, you aren't the first and I'm sure that you won't be the last person to tell me that things are changing. I see that. But people seem to all know what's going on and I don't. Why are people keeping things from me?"

"You don't need to know," he said.

Damn it, people, I'm trying to fix things. "Let me in. Let me help. I fucked things up here. I can help get them right," I argued.

Brutus twirled a strand of my hair around his finger and tugged gently. I shook it behind my shoulders. He smiled brightly and dug his fingers into the middle of my back. It hurt but I refused to say anything. "Brave little girl. But it won't work. For now we just need you to do what you're doing," Brutus said.

"And what am I doing? Looking like a fool?" I asked.

"That's always what's been happening."

"Thanks, asshole," I snapped.

"You might not know it, but you're playing your part perfectly."

The dance was ending so he gave a low bow. "And what happens when you need me to do something?" I asked.

He smiled at me. He was acting for the cameras but I wasn't. I was furious. What the hell was going on that no one would tell me? "It's on a need-to-know basis," Brutus said.

"And this isn't need-to-know? What happens when I have no idea what to do? This isn't a smart tactic. For anyone. I could end up messing things up even more," I said. He nodded like I wasn't talking about potentially killing thousands of people. He was treating it like I was suggesting a place for lunch that he wasn't fond of. "Why won't you just let me in?"

My hand was out and Brutus caught it, planting a small kiss on the back of my hand. He let it drop and pulled me into a hug. "Trust me, Aspen. When it's time for you to do something, we'll tell you," he said. Finally he backed off and gave me a smile. He walked by me and laughed when he saw the distraught look on my face. "In the meantime, enjoy the food and people. Be a good girl while you're here. I'll talk to you later, Mockingjay."

"What did you just call me?" I snapped.

"Enjoy your night," he added, as he passed me on the floor.

My heart was pounding in my chest but thankfully the flashes of the camera were going down. Since I was no longer dancing there was no point in grabbing pictures. They had already gotten pictures of me standing around. The crowd began to rush around me and I felt myself getting light-headed. My eyes scanned the crowd for anyone that I knew but I couldn't find anyone. Cato and Haymitch were nowhere to be found. Brutus and Enobaria were gone too. Effie looked just like everyone else so even if I could have found her I wouldn't have been sure. I even looked for Flavius or Octavia but they were nowhere to be found either.

Walking towards the garden to try and find someone that I knew, a voice that I did know called out to me. "So, how was it?" Finnick called.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Last night, I mean."

"I'm not in the mood to talk about Seneca Crane."

"You're never in the mood to talk."

"So take the hint," I snapped at Finnick.

"Come on, Aspen. Dance with me," he said.

As he walked past me he grabbed my hand. It startled me slightly when he pulled me after him. I should have known that I wasn't getting out of this without a dance. As Finnick pulled me back to the middle of the floor and cameras began to flash. Of course. Two of the most popular Victors dancing together would get them a lot of money. It was like what would happen if Cato went and danced with Cashmere. Although I would have an issue with that.

"You know, Finnick, I think I'm a little tired for dancing. How about a drink?" I asked with a bright smile. He only pushed me into him and began to twirl slowly. "Or how about another dance? Sure thing. As for last night nothing happened."

"Is that so?"

I leaned in slightly closer. No one else could hear this. "I'm serious. I got in there and he was creepy and he almost did but he backed out of it. Gave me another night to gather my wits. He just congratulated me on my engagement and then I left," I admitted, choosing to omit the part about tonight.

Finnick gave me his award-winning smile and his dimples showed. He was so obnoxiously good-looking. Just like Cato. It was no wonder that they got on swimmingly. "No, we'll get to Seneca Crane. That wasn't what I meant," he said.

My eyebrows knitted together. Was I really that stupid? "So what did you mean?" I asked.

"I meant another man."

"There is no other man."

"Sure there is. With lighter hair and eyes, a little taller, bigger build," he said.

My face paled. How had he known? "Nothing happened between -"

"No! Don't you bullshit me," he said. My jaw snapped closed. "I know the look in your eyes, I saw the slight shame when you walked in with Cato."

"I did not have any shame in my eyes."

"Yes. You did."

"No, I didn't!"

"You're a good liar, Aspen, but not to me. I never had a sister but I do have you."

He had no idea that he meant the same thing to me. "Aren't I lucky?" I asked teasingly.

"So I have to do this."

Gale was always the one to chew me out when I did something inappropriate and it was always worse when I lied to him. Maybe Finnick wasn't as good at detecting lies. "Okay, so you think that you saw some shame in my eyes. So what does that prove?" I asked, with a challenging eyebrow.

"It proves a number of things."

"It proves that you like to overreact to everything. I went back to my room and went to bed," I said with a straight face.

He wouldn't get the truth out of me. Just when I thought that I won, Finnick gave me a knowing smile. "Or it could be that I went to your room looking for you a few hours ago," he said.

"I wasn't there."

"Of course you weren't. I should have figured that you wouldn't be there. You were getting ready with Cinna." My smirk fell. He hadn't. Had he? "But I still went into your room and saw a little white sheet under your bed. Thinking that it had just fallen there I picked it up and what do you think that I saw?" he asked.

I knew that my face was giving me away when he nodded at me. "You saw a white sheet," I muttered.

"Yes, that's right. You have no wounds so it wasn't from a fight. Nothing that red on you. So that leaves one option. Had it been from Seneca, you would have gone straight to the bathroom. So that leaves one person," he said.

"You're quite the detective."

Finnick's eyes shot over towards the bar and I followed his sight line. He was staring towards the top of the stairs where Cato was standing. He was with Brutus and Haymitch and the three men waved at me. I gave a weak smile and sighed when Finnick spun me away from them. How could I have thought that I would get away with it? I should have known that someone would figure it out. I should have known that it would be Finnick. I knew that my face was a brilliant red and I really hoped that it was too dark for the cameras to catch.

"Well... yeah. Do you want to yell at me? Congratulate me?" I asked.

"Not quite."

"Please don't make this any more awkward than it has to be," I weakly begged.

It would have been worse with Haymitch. The District 4 Victor grinned and squeezed my hand gently. "I could go up to Cato and ask him -" he began before I pulled my hand from his shoulder and punched him roughly in the stomach. "Ow!"

"You will do no such thing!"

He regained his composure quickly. Cato was watching and he looked slightly concerned but I shook my head with a smile. "Okay, fine. I was only kidding anyways. I'm glad that you were with someone that you love. You deserved at least that," he said.

"Thank you," I whispered.

At least he wasn't chewing me out. "About Seneca. Did he say anything else? Did he say anything about you coming back tonight or anything like that?" Finnick asked.

At this point I only had two options here. I could lie and tell him that Seneca had said that I didn't want me to come back and spend some time with him tonight. Unfortunately I knew that Finnick would see right through my lies. Still I could try. There was a small chance that it would work. Or there was always the chance that I could tell him the truth. It might hurt the both of us but at least I would be able to tell someone about it.

"Yes. He did," I finally admitted.

Finnick looked heartbroken. "Tell me what happened," he prompted.

"He said that he would see me tonight. What should I do? I mean, I can't just say no. He'll kill everyone that means something to me. And Cato. He said that Cato's sister and niece would be first. It doesn't matter. I can't just deny him," I said, fighting my tears back.

"Calm down," Finnick whispered.

"I can't just say yes either. I don't know what I would do if I just let it happen," I said honestly, fear bubbling in my stomach.

Finnick grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him. We had stopped dancing and now we were just standing on the floor as pairs continued to twirl around us. "Listen to me. You're going to go in there tonight," he said.

"Finnick," I said weakly.

There was nothing that Finnick could do but I was hoping for more than that. "You're going to be quiet and listen to him. If he tries something, fight him on it. Just trust me. Do it," he said.

"But... What about everyone I care about?"

"You trust me. Do what I tell you. Understand?"

"Yes."

"It'll be fine. I promise."

Would it? I trusted Finnick. He wouldn't just give me bad advice. He knew what he was talking about. "Seems like I don't know why I'm doing anything anymore," I said.

"Every Victor feels that way at one point or another."

"I just do what people tell me to do and I pretend that I understand what's going on. I'm used to it by now," I said.

Finnick let me sink into him. He had no idea how much he meant to me. I hoped that one day I could find the words to tell him. "I'm sorry, Aspen, but this is the safest thing for you right now," Finnick said.

"To keep me in the dark?" I asked bitterly.

"Trust me. Things will fall into place with time. I love you, girl. You're stuck with me. With all of us. Just don't lose faith, alright?"

"Never. I love you too, Finnick."

"Good girl. Thank you for the dance. I'll see you soon. When you get back for the next Games," he said.

"It's coming soon."

My eyes fell. I had been hoping to see him before then. "I have business to attend to in the morning. Keep in touch, alright?" Finnick asked.

"Of course."

Finnick planted a small kiss on my cheek before walking off and I sighed. Once more, I was alone. I didn't like it. I wanted to go hunt down Cato. But as I turned I saw that Cato was walking up to me. He had a flute of champagne in his hand and he held it out to me. Just as I was about to take it and thank him though a bone chilling voice came from behind us. No. Not him. Not tonight. I turned back to see President Snow standing with his hands clasped behind his back. The band went silent and I knew that every set of eyes in the room were on the three of us.

"Pardon me, Mr. Hadley," President Snow.

"President Snow," Cato greeted.

"I was wondering if you might mind if I have a dance with your fiancé?"

"Please," Cato said, not hesitating.

Of course not. He couldn't. Cato stepped back and the floor cleared for us. "She seems so busy tonight that it's hard to get anywhere near her. But we always find a way. Thank you," he called as Cato cleared the floor for us. Snow motioned for the band to start back up and the two of us rocked slowly. "Are you enjoying the party?"

"Yes."

"You seem very quiet tonight, Miss Antaeus. Are you feeling ill?" he asked, as if he didn't know why I was being quiet.

If I said something stupid there were people around just waiting to kill me and cameras that could document every second. So instead I smiled at him and shook my head, pretending like he was shaking me out of a thought. "No, sir. It's just been a long night. It will be a long night. The party is lovely. I hear that this is all for Cato and I's engagement. I wanted to thank you. It is so much for you to do for us," I said, with a grateful smile.

"We're happy to do it," President Snow said.

"All for a silly little engagement too," I added with a little laugh.

He gave me a narrow smile. He knew that I was putting on a show for the cameras. It looked like he approved of my actions. "No price is too much for the favorite Victors," he said with a grin.

I giggled lightly. I wanted to punch myself. Gale, please punch me in the head when I get back. "We're very grateful," I said.

"We the people love to see our favorite Victors in love. It's quite charming. I'm glad that at least the people are under your spell."

The shock registered in my eyes. But my face remained in the stony smile. "Pardon?" I asked.

"Tell me, Aspen. What were you thinking of doing once you and Mr. Hadley get married?"

"I'm not sure that I understand."

"I mean where will you live?" he clarified.

There had been many questions that I was expecting him to ask me but that hadn't been one of them. "Honestly I hadn't thought that far yet. The proposal was a total shock to me," I said, hoping that he wouldn't see through that at least.

"Was it?" President Snow asked.

"Of course. I didn't know Cato felt that strongly for me. A marriage might be a while off. We are young and we have long lives ahead of us to think about things like that. And my mother may not even allow me," I said with an airy giggle.

"She does have a certain way about you and boys."

"I'm sure between the two of us we can get us married before I die," I said.

We certainly did have so much fun. President Snow smiled at me and laughed along with me for a moment. "I'm sure that you will. But the people do not want to wait," he said.

It was my wedding. Why did they think that anything that they wanted would happen? Oh, yeah, because my life isn't really mine. "When would they like to see it?" I asked.

"They want to see a unity between the two of you soon. Perhaps after the Quarter Quell. A perfect way to end what will be a perfect Games."

"Wonderful," I said, swallowing a lump in my throat.

"I'm glad that you agree with me. I have already had it arranged."

"The wedding?"

"That too. Your living conditions. You will live in District 2," he said, leaving no room for argument.

My smile finally fell and I stood with a straight face. As much as I was trying I couldn't get my smile back on my face. I noticed that the President was no longer pulling us lightly on the dance floor but I was the one who was leading. My feet were moving only on muscle memory. Our moves were beginning to get a little sharper and I realized that the song was coming to its climax. The song... How had I not noticed? It was the same song that he had played during our dance six months ago. The Hanging Tree. He was sending me a message. Do as you are told. Tread carefully.

"Was there no thought to consult me on these decisions?" I asked, with a dark scowl on my face.

He merely laughed at me and shook his head. The cameras flashed and I knew that they were catching me with a blank look. The pictures wouldn't sell. Not if I didn't look happy. "Of course not, Miss Antaeus. No one really cares what you think anymore," he said.

That wasn't true. My voice was clogging in my throat. "So I've seen," I snarled.

He knew that I meant Seneca Crane. "You are a figurehead. Exactly what you are meant to be," President Snow snarled.

"Of what?" I asked daringly.

His eyes narrowed. "You will say nothing, only what I want you to say. You will do nothing without my consent. And you will not argue," he said.

What the hell was happening? "Of course," I said blankly.

"For the sake of many," he said, giving a pointed look at where Cato and Finnick stood.

They were talking and laughing. They had no idea. President Snow let go of me and I was left in the middle of the floor, tears threatening to fall. "I'll do whatever you want," I muttered.

"Thank you for the dance, dear. You've gotten lighter on your feet."

That was the last thing that he said before walking off. He had a bad habit of leaving me stunned and heartbroken. There was nothing that I could do. Running was a bad enough idea. But it was the only thing that could keep the people that I loved alive. My knees were getting weak and I knew that tears were on the verge of falling. President Snow was wonderful at making me feel like less than a worm. A hand laid itself on my shoulder and I jumped.

"Calm down. Keep dancing," Haymitch said.

He grabbed me and began to spin me again. "Haymitch," I whispered.

I stared at him in shock but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking all around us. "Wipe the tears from your eyes. You'll be alright," he said.

I nodded, wiping my face discreetly. "Sorry," I muttered.

"Listen to me, you're alright. Anything that he said, just ignore. He knows what scares you and what gets to you. He will use that against him. Do not let him. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now get back out there, alright?"

"No problem," I said, as he gave me a reassuring smile.

Put on a brave face, Aspen. "Don't let him see that his words get to you," he said, giving me one last piece of advice before letting me go.

His hand was still on the bottom of my back and he began to push me off towards the stairs. Thank you, Haymitch. We were finally leaving. It felt like we had been here for a year. I sighed shakily and headed for the bottom of the staircase. But, of course, before we could get there we were cut off by none other than Seneca Crane. He was in a pitch black suit and he actually looked rather nice out of his Gamemaker attire. But I knew the monster that was underneath. He smiled at the two of us and I felt Haymitch's hand tense on my back.

"Good evening, Mr. Abernathy. Aspen. You look lovely tonight," Seneca said.

"Thank you," I said.

"Please join me for a dance?" he asked, although I knew it was an order.

"My pleasure."

He held out his hand and I took it, shaking slightly. Haymitch nodded to me as we walked past and I breathed out slowly as Seneca brought me into a dancing position. "I've seen you dancing with quite a few people. I should have known that you would be a popular partner tonight," Seneca said.

"I'm still the new kid on the block."

"Perhaps they're just as entranced with you as I am."

"Perhaps."

"Have you shared a dance with your fiancé yet?"

I would still be dancing with him if it weren't for you people. If I had it my way we would be back home right now. The both of us. If I had it my way than I would have never known you. If I had it my way I would still be dancing with Finnick and you would be six feet underground. But I said none of that. Instead I just gave him a sharp nod.

"Briefly," I said.

My skin was crawling everywhere as I tried to look anywhere but at him. I felt like breaking his arm. It was hanging dangerously low. Not even Cato dared to keep his hand that low. "Why so silent, Aspen?" Seneca asked.

I wasn't playing any more of his games. "I have nothing to say," I said.

"I'm not as blind as people say that I am. After your little stunt, people said that I would have never seen it coming. They were wrong. I saw it coming from the beginning," he said.

"So why do nothing?" I asked.

"Isn't it obvious? Because I wanted you," Seneca said.

"Oh..." I muttered, disgusted.

"Anyways I see what you're doing. You always keep your eyes moving. Every other step you glance towards the door. You continuously check to make sure that Cato is close by. You keep a close eye on President Snow too. And you've done well avoiding me tonight."

He had no idea how much I hated him. Or maybe he did. I hoped that he did. "You are extremely observant," I said with a mean sneer.

"Thank you, darling."

"I am not your darling."

"You might be happy to know that I have not been avoiding you tonight," I said.

Whether or not he believed it, I had not been avoiding him. I had just been getting dragged into dance after dance. That wasn't my fault. That was everyone else at this damn party. "Is that so?" he asked.

"I've merely been busy. It's like you said, I was a popular dance partner tonight," I said.

The song had to almost be over. Seneca smiled at me and nodded, apparently accepting my answer. "And the night is coming to a close. Isn't that so?" he asked.

I paled slightly. I knew what that meant. I wasn't getting out of this. No matter how hard I tried. I began to shake and I tried my hardest to stop it. But I knew that he felt it, judging by his smirk. "Yes," I muttered.

"Their night is coming to a close. But yours, yours is not. You still have a long night ahead of you," he said with a laugh.

My breathing picked up. What had I done to deserve this? "Of course," I whispered.

"It's a shame that the dress is so white. Although I suppose the little red hints are nice. Cinna is extremely talented, I'll give him that."

"Yes. He is."

"Although his following orders skills could use some improvement," Seneca sighed.

On the inside I was falling apart at the seams. Instead of showing him that I was weaker than he thought that I was, I shook my head and laughed at him. This asshole had ruined enough of my life. He had ruined the last year and people like him had ruined my life long before that. He would not ruin this too. He would not ruin my engagement and whatever was to come in the next few years. He was done screwing with me too.

"I thought that it was lovely. He does do such a wonderful job with his costumes. I see why he is so popular. Almost as popular as you were when you started," I added on.

Anger flashed through his eyes. He pulled me closer to him and his scent filled my nose. Cinnamon. And death. "Things change, Aspen. Things are always changing. I'm a prime example of how things change," he said.

"I suppose you are."

Our lips were almost touching and I felt myself pulling back slightly. Not out here. "Your world has changed much recently, hasn't it?" he asked, his peppermint breath fanning over my face.

"It's changed very much over the past six months," I said.

"I understand. My world has changed recently too. All thanks to you. You see, everything that has happened is thanks to you."

There was a little knowing smile on his face. He was acting just the way that everyone else had been acting over the past few weeks. I knew that people blamed me for everything that was happening in the Districts but everything that had happened to him? It wasn't my fault that President Snow had wanted him dead. He should have stopped me. And everything was not my fault. That was overstating things slightly.

"Excuse me?" I asked stupidly.

Seneca laughed at me like I was the butt of some stupid joke. Of course that probably was the whole thing. I really was the butt of the jokes all over Panem and I knew it. People in the Capitol were laughing at me all the time. I was sure that they made a sport of it.

"The fact that I am no longer the Head Gamemaker. President Snow threatening me the past few months. The fact that I am still alive. The popularity of certain people these days," he said.

"That's all your fault."

"The new Head Peacekeeper in your precious District. He should be arriving in the morning. I'm sure that you will meet him soon," Seneca said.

Had something happened to Cray? He was definitely not my favorite person and he was much disliked by the District, but I wanted to know what had happened. At least I knew Cray. Seneca met my step backwards and pushed back against me. The fact that we were pressed together would have normally bothered me greatly but my mind was currently trying to wrap around what he had just said. New Head Peacekeeper? It had been Cray for years. He was mean but he would always let us sell to each other as long as we kept the best pieces and cuts for him. I hadn't liked him but he was good enough.

"What do you mean a new Head Peacekeeper? When I left it was still Cray."

"He's still there," Seneca said.

"Cray has been there for years. Why is there a new one?" I asked.

Seneca was enjoying knowing things that I didn't. He smiled and laughed before shaking his head. "He was becoming a little too... senile," he said, as if struggling to find the words. "Not to worry. He will be doing just fine. A peaceful retirement." He would be dead before the end of winter. "The man that I am referring to is Romulus Thread. He is being transferred from District 2. They don't need him. They have the order. He knows all about you, Miss Antaeus."

"Do I have you to thank for that?"

"Oh, no. Everyone knows about you. I'm sure that he can't wait to meet you." I nearly vomited. The Peacekeepers in District 2 were known for their cruelty. Seneca backed off from me and gave me a little bow. On autopilot, I gave a little curtsy back and watched with a blank face as he walked back into the crowd. "Thank you for the dance. I'll see you in a little while," he said with a wink.

For a while I stood in the middle of the floor stupidly. How did this keep happening to me? Why was I always left in stunned silences? Why was I being treated like I was a stupid little kid. I let out a puff of air and shifted around on my feet. I nearly laughed when I realized that this had been happening to me almost all night. My partners would dance with me and then leave. Apparently I really was that much of a desired partner that they didn't even want to say goodbye to me. I turned back and smacked face first into Cato. I scoffed and backed up slightly.

"Well you look just thrilled," he joked.

I rolled my eyes. "Aren't I always?" I asked.

"Hello there, beautiful. What's a nice girl like you doing in a nasty place like this?" Cato asked.

I laughed lightly. I needed that. "'Fella done me wrong," I teased, stepping into him.

"Sounds like a nasty guy to me. How about a dance? Last one, I promise."

He added the last part when he saw my face. The cameras were flashing at us when they saw our playful and witty banter with each other. He pulled me onto the floor anyways, not giving me a moment to answer him. I had figured that it would happen. I didn't really mind. Cato began to swing us around the floor and I saw the cameras begin to flash even more. Of course. Everyone wanted a picture of the newly engaged couple.

"I'll hold you up to that. I think my feet are about to fall off," I joked.

"Heels hurt?"

"You're welcome to wear them and find out."

Cato laughed and we swung around the floor for a moment before I could no longer keep quiet. "What do you know about Romulus Thread?" I asked.

It was clear that I had surprised him when Cato cocked his head to the side. "Well that was unexpected," he said.

"I know. I'm sorry. Just - Can you tell me what you know about him?"

"Romulus Thread. Not much, really. He was one of the Peacekeepers in District 2. Used to hang around the Academy most of the time. Nasty guy. He always liked to watch the kids fight. He would threaten the ones that were too scared to fight."

"Sounds like a charmer."

"He made it a point to call me over when I got back after the Games. He would bring me over to the Academy and talk with me, right in front of the sword fighting area. I never walked away. I couldn't let him know he was bothering me."

"That was brave of you."

"Why?" Cato asked. "How do you even know his name?"

I had hoped that Seneca was only exaggerating the type of person that Romulus Thread was but it seemed like he was telling me the truth. "Seneca Crane told me that he would be the new Head Peacekeeper in District 12," I said.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I guess they're getting rid of Cray. He made it seem like Thread already knew me." Cato looked shocked. "Of course, I guess that everyone knows who I am," I added, with a bitter laugh.

Cato let his hand trail up to the side of my face to brush some hair back. Cameras were flashing wildly. "But only some of them know who you really are. The lucky ones," he said.

"Unlucky, I think you mean."

"I don't know. I think I'm pretty damn lucky."

"Thank you, Cato."

"Of course. Be careful when you get back home. Thread isn't known for being the nicest man. Watch yourself around him," Cato warned.

"Gladly," I said.

The last thing that I wanted to do was make Romulus Thread think that there was a reason that we had to meet each other. I didn't want him to speak to me. I already hated him more than anything. Just because of what he had been doing to Cato. We spun around the floor for a bit and I sighed as we spun past the bar in the far corner of the room. Six months ago I was dancing with the same man but I was thinking something very different. It made a small smile form on my face.

"Do you remember the first time that we went to one of these parties?" I asked.

Cato grinned at me. Of course he did. "It was a hard night to forget," he said.

"Six months ago today, we were standing here, dancing together. You were on my mind most of the night."

"Was I?"

"You were. I just kept thinking about you. What you were going to do to me."

"Like last night?"

He waggled his eyebrows and I blushed madly. "Shut up!" I barked. "I was so afraid. The Games were only two mornings from then. I remember thinking that you looked so nice."

"You didn't look half bad either," Cato teased.

"But you were ready. I couldn't get involved with someone like you. I made it a goal to stay away from you. But it didn't work very well," I said with a laugh. He joined in. Once we settled down I smiled up at him. "I'm glad that it didn't."

"Me too." Cato smiled at me and kissed the top of my head. "I remember the party too. I remember you dancing with the Sponsors. You looked so confused. I thought that you were going to either throw up or scream," he said.

We both laughed. He was right about that. "I thought that I was going to," I admitted.

"And then you danced with Peeta. Thresh too," he said. My gut twisted. Two wonderful men. I wish they were both here. I missed them both desperately. "I remember Marvel walking up to you and I couldn't let him. It was jealousy. Burning jealousy."

"I knew that you were jealous," I said, laughing.

"I loved the attention that I got from you. So I grabbed you and forced a dance. I wasn't going to kiss you. I really wasn't."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"I wanted to but I wasn't. But that was when I saw it. Somewhere deep in your eyes. I saw that you wanted me to. So I did. I couldn't believe that I did," he admitted.

Part of me didn't believe it. He wasn't going to do it? I couldn't believe that he almost hadn't done it. That would have changed things. I didn't know if we would have ever kissed if we hadn't kissed that night at the party. And then where would we be right now? It seemed like such a Cato thing to do that I was surprised that I hadn't seen it coming from the beginning of the night. Of course that might have made things very different today.

"I'm glad that you did," I said, before leaning up to kiss him.

Whistles came from the crowd and I rolled my eyes. I pulled away and gave Cato a small smirk. "What are you smiling about?" Cato asked.

"I knew that you were jealous. I saw it in your eyes," I told him.

"I'm not very subtle, am I?" Cato asked.

"No. You aren't. I thought it was just because I was getting the attention. I thought that you were jealous of me. I never thought that you were jealous of them," I said softly.

"Trust me. I was."

There was actually someone in this world that was jealous of someone that got too close to me. Of course, I knew that both Gale and Seneca Crane were jealous of Cato. Maybe I really was more desirable than I thought that I was. Cato's hand dug into the bottom of my back but for once I didn't mind it. Instead I let him. It was nice to know that someone wanted me. But this someone wanted me for more than my looks. He loved me. He had been willing to die for me. He almost had. Seneca was willing to be with me to save his own life. Cato was willing to give his life for me.

"You're mine," Cato growled. I blushed furiously. It didn't make me nervous anymore. It just stirred up feelings that I had recently discovered. "I always thought that I made that clear."

"You did," I whispered.

"Seems like everyone is leaving. I suppose that means that the party is over. Ready to go back?"

He dropped his hand from my back. I grinned at him and nodded excitedly. Glancing up at the clock I saw that it was already well past midnight. Just as we had thought that it would be by the time that we were allowed to leave. We had been here for hours now. It felt like we had been here for weeks. Maybe that was because I had been like a plate of appetizers all night. Most people were gone already and I saw Effie motioning for us to follow her to the doors.

"You have no idea," I told Cato with a grin.

"Shouldn't we thank President Snow? It's his house," Cato said.

"Oh, he's not a big one for parties. Too busy," Effie said.

"Awesome," I chirped happily.

"I've already arranged for the necessary notes and gifts to be sent to him tomorrow. There you are!"

Effie gave a little wave to two Capitol attendants who had an inebriated Haymitch propped up between them. Both Cato and I snorted as we left the party. Cato grabbed my hand and the two of us headed for the staircase so we could leave. By now I was definitely ready for bed. It had been a long night. Naturally before I could get to the top of the staircase a hand set down on my arm and I turned back to see a Peacekeeper standing behind me. Damn it. I was hoping that I might get away from him. All I needed to do was to make it through tonight.

"Miss Antaeus. I have direct orders to bring you with me," the Peacekeeper said.

"Now? It's late," I groaned.

"Not to worry. You will be back shortly. Seneca Crane is requesting your audience this evening."

Audience. I knew exactly what kind of audience he was requesting. But then it occurred to me. The Peacekeeper probably had no idea why Seneca Crane wanted to talk to me. Everyone was staring at me. Effie was smiling contentedly. She didn't realize that this wasn't a good thing. She just thought that it was sweet that I spoke to Seneca Crane so much. Haymitch suddenly looked very sober. Cato just looked confused.

"Everything okay?" Cato asked.

"It'll be fine. Wedding details I'm sure. Everyone knows that it's the woman that makes all of the choices," I teased.

"That's probably for the best. I'll wait up for you," Cato said.

My knees shook weakly. "I'll be back as soon as I can," I said softly.

They led me into a black car with black windows and I sunk into the seat. My mind went into a haze and I watched as we drove back to the Tribute Remake Center. Seneca's apartment was in one of the sprouting towers off to the side of the main tower. We got out of the car and I was led up to the thirteenth floor. Through the glass windows I saw Cato and the rest of my team reach the twelfth floor. They didn't even see me. Sighing I leaned against the rail before I was sent into the living room. I walked in and heard the doors bolt closed behind me. They didn't trust me.

Slowly and with shaking legs I made my way over to the couch that was on the far side of the wall and took a seat. My heart was pounding out of my chest as thoughts raced through my mind. I had already been through this. There would be no pain and nothing to take. Other than my dignity. But that was enough to break my heart. And Cato... in my bed... waiting for me. Would Seneca be gentle or rough? Would he even take anything that I wanted into account? No. The one thing that I wanted was to not be here. The doors slid open and I jumped slightly.

Seneca Crane stumbled in. I could tell that he had been drinking since I had seen him last. His shirt wasn't on and his pants were rumpled. He walked over to the bar and I watched him pour himself another drink. He was drunk. Maybe he would fall asleep and I could get out. He seemed to notice that I was nervous and he walked over to me with a laugh. He spilled his drink onto the floor but his attention was no longer on his drink. It was on me. As he got closer I realized that he had dark circles under his eyes and he was sweating. What the hell had happened to him? It had only been about an hour since I had seen him last.

"Are you drunk?" I asked.

"That obvious?" Seneca asked humorlessly.

"Are - Are you okay?" I asked awkwardly.

I hated him but he looked horrible. "You can relax," he said. I nearly scoffed. I most certainly could not relax. "I want nothing from you tonight. Leave."

"What?"

"I'll see you when you get back here for the Quarter Quell. Have a safe journey home, Aspen."

My mouth was flapping open and I thought that he might laugh, but he just ignored me. He was walking back to the door but I caught his arm before he could disappear. He wasn't getting away with no answers. "Wait," I snapped.

"Goodbye, Aspen."

"What the hell? You've wanted this for months. You've looked forward to this. I know you have."

"Of course. Do you not remember last night?"

"Of course I do! It was one of my worst nightmares! Why say no now? What the hell happened to you?"

He scoffed, turning to walk away again. "More than you understand," Seneca answered.

"You know, this isn't fair to me. This has kept me up for months!" I screamed, when I saw that I wasn't getting through to him. That time he actually turned back to me. "I've been afraid of this happening so much that I stopped talking to everyone. I'm lying to everyone that I know. I deserve to know why you changed your mind. Just tell me!"

He smirked and laughed as he approached me. I should have kept quiet. I could have gotten out of this. I might have just shot myself in the foot. Damn my big mouth. "You never disappoint, Aspen. That much is so true," he said.

"Thanks."

"Would you rather I force you?" he asked.

"No," I said pathetically.

Seneca backed me into the corner of the room and I took a deep breath. He towered over me and I could smell the alcohol on him. It was on his clothes and on his breath. I was even in his hair that hung limply in his face and tickled the bottom of my nose. He stood there for a moment. His hands were on either side of my face and I thought that my heart might explode, it was racing so fast. He finally nodded and stepped back and I took a breath. Someone up there was looking out for me. Not wanting to say anything more to upset him, I started to walk past but he caught my arm.

"I hear that you hunt," he said.

He couldn't know that. He could get me and all of my friends killed. It was illegal. "No," I said weakly.

"Don't bother denying it. I know that it's true. I have sources that tell me that you used to do it every day. The hunting was what made you ready for the first Games."

"I suppose that you're right. No use denying it."

"And your fear from your parents."

"I suppose."

"Do yourself a favor. Keep hunting. Never stop. I promise you that you will regret it," Seneca said.

He wanted me to keep doing it? Why? "What?" I asked breathlessly.

"Be careful, Aspen. You have no idea what's coming," he said darkly.

My entire body feeling like it was on fire as I walked by him again. Careful not to touch Seneca, I walked past slowly. But before I made it all the way past he grabbed me by the arm and shoved me back against the wall. I screamed loudly but he covered my mouth with his own. I fought back against him when the alcoholic taste invaded my mouth. He merely pressed harder against me. He grabbed my arms and pushed me back against the couch. I fell and shrieked as he jumped on top of me. Thankfully in his drunken haze he missed by a little bit. Fight him, Finnick had said.

Taking the opportunity that I had I brought my elbow up and hit him in the nose roughly. He jumped off of me and fell to the floor and I stood from the couch, rushing back to the door. I just had to get out of here. I couldn't be here today. Not right now. Not with his cryptic warning and strange reactions. Seneca wasn't far from me and I heard him sniff. He stood and had the decency to look guilty as he held his hands up to me. He advanced towards me slightly and I moved back against the door.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I just wanted you," he said.

"Get away from me," I stuttered.

"We could leave. This could be done with tonight," he said desperately.

Leave? Did he know about the plan that I had been working on? Did he know that I wanted to leave the second that I got back to District 12? I had to leave. But he couldn't know that. Even though I had been in scarier situations, many of which he had put me in, I was terrified right now. He was making no sense and I didn't have much experience with mean or grabby drunks. Haymitch only got tired and childish. Which was pretty much his normal personality. Without saying anything else to Seneca Crane, I turned back to the door and tried to rush out. I couldn't be here. Before I could, I felt his hand grab my ankle.

Unable to stop myself I screamed as I went toppling over myself. I hit the ground roughly and I cried out in pain as the carpet burned against my hands. His hands were grabbing up my body and I cried out when he grabbed the top of the dress. It tore slightly at his weight as did the slit. I was screaming and Seneca was muttering strange words. I thrashed out roughly and screamed when my heel dug into his leg. It was so sharp that it punctured the leg slightly. He grunted loudly and removed his hands from me. In the sudden panic I stood and scrambled out of the door.

He tried to follow me but I knew that the pain in the legs was too much for him to stand. I figured that Peacekeepers would be there soon so I knew that I would need to be out of here. I dashed into the elevator and once the doors were closed I cried out, slumping onto the floor. My reflection made me cry. My makeup was running down my face from the tears that had fallen during the struggle and my dress was torn, revealing my black underwear. There were scratches on my chest and the tops of my thighs. My hair was completely ruffled. The elevator dinged as it hit my floor and I dashed down the hallway for the bedrooms.

For a moment I stared at my own bedroom but I shook my head. Cato would see me and he would go kill Seneca himself if he knew what had just happened. We couldn't kill a Gamemaker. That was President Snow's job. Effie would be no help either. And I wasn't sure where Cinna lived. Haymitch was my last resort. I dashed into his room and was shocked to see that he was still awake. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, nursing a drink. When he saw me, his mouth dropped open and the glass fell from his hand. He stood and my tears began to flow even harder.

"Aspen... Come here," he said.

I rushed forward, falling into his arms. "Haymitch," I whispered pathetically.

He held me for a moment before placing me on the bed and leaning in front of me. "What happened to you? What the hell did he do to you?" he asked, clearly angry.

The tears had stopped but my voice was still shaky. Get yourself together. In the morning you have to pretend like none of this ever happened. The next time you see him you can't be a bumbling mess. "Nothing. I don't know what happened. He told me that he wanted nothing from me and then he was going to let me go. But at the last minute he kissed me and pushed me back. I elbowed him in the face and he apologized. He started to mumble and I went to run away but he caught me. I got away. It doesn't matter. I'm fine, just startled," I said weakly.

Haymitch shook his head and kissed the top of mine. "It always matters," he said. "I'm glad that nothing happened."

I nodded weakly. "He was telling me that we could leave. That things were bad," I said, horrified.

"Don't worry about him. He's drunk and overreacting. It's going to be fine."

"But he -"

"Can't handle his liquor. He's terrified, Aspen. He keeps getting threatened. Things are bad for him. Not for you. Don't let him get to you."

He turned away from me and I watched as he dug through his own drawers. He pulled out a black shirt that I knew would look like a dress on me. "Are you sure?" I asked.

"I'm positive. Here. Take this. Go in the bathroom and get yourself cleaned up. Just leave the dress. I doubt you want to let Cato see you like that," he said.

He motioned to me. I knew that I looked horrible. It was so bad that it was almost comical. But what had happened was not. I walked into the bathroom and sent my mind into autopilot. I let my hair down. Leaning over the sink I washed it out quickly to get the gel out. I ran my face under the water, getting the makeup and tears off. After a few minutes my face looked back to normal. I slipped the dress off of me and kicked it under the counter before slipping the shirt over my head. I looked somewhat better, but I could see the fear in the back of my eyes. I walked back out of the bathroom and gave Haymitch a grateful smile.

"Thank you, Haymitch," I said.

We walked over to the door. It slid open and Haymitch stood with me at the edge. "You're welcome, sweetheart," he said, with a sad smile. He had done well. He wasn't just the careless drunk that everyone thought that he was.

"For everything, Haymitch."

"I'm here whenever you need me, kid. Get out of here. Get to bed."

"Okay."

"You're on your way back home tomorrow. Five and a half months before you have to deal with any of this again," Haymitch said.

That was the positive side of this day. I got to go home to the people that I trusted. For the first time in a long time I would be back within the grasp of the people that trusted me and that I trusted. Although I would be leaving Cato. But maybe that was a good thing. While I was with him... I kept him in danger. I walked out of the door and heard it hiss closed behind me. I turned to my own room and slipped inside. Cato was inside and already asleep. The noise from the door had woken him up. He rolled over to me and I smiled weakly at him.

"Hey," Cato greeted.

"Sorry for waking you up," I said.

"That's okay." His eyes focused on me he tilted his head. "What was that all about? What did Seneca Crane want? And where did you get the shirt?" he asked, as he looked over my torso.

Right, that probably looks bad. "Scoot," I said.

He rolled over at let me slide under the covers. He opened his arms to me and I put myself onto his chest. His heart was beating softly and it made me smile. "Gonna answer me?" he asked.

"One question at a time," I teased. He smiled. "Haymitch gave it to me when I came back. I tripped over the dress on my way back and tore it. He was giving me the shirt so I didn't have to risk tearing it even more."

He nodded with a little snort. "That's just like you," Cato said.

"Cinna loves his designs. He'll be angry enough that he has to fix this one."

"He's a genius. He'll manage without a problem."

"Seneca just wanted to tell me that Cinna might be a little too busy to do all of my future designs. He just was showing me other potential candidates," I lied.

It shocked me how easy that the lie was to tell. It used to be that I could only lie to a set amount of people. So many people had been able to see through them. Cato was always one of the people that could see through me. But now he couldn't. Now it seemed like everyone was easy to lie to. When I was really trying at least. Cato merely nodded and rolled his eyes. I had made it sound as mundane and boring as possible so he wouldn't ask me anything else. That was why I hadn't made up a lie about the Games. He would be asking me about that all night.

"Sounds fascinating," he said.

"Oh, it was."

"Glad that I wasn't there then. Come on you. It's time to go to bed."

"You actually want to go to bed?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows, trying to make myself feel a little better.

"Ah, you want to stay up for a while longer?"

Cato pushed me back into the bed and I laughed as he nuzzled against my throat. "It is late," I said slowly. "We'll be back on the train tomorrow night. We won't have stayed up half the night already."

"It's a date," Cato teased. He jumped off of me and laid on the bed, pulled me back onto his chest. "We should go to bed. It's been a long night and it will be an early morning tomorrow."

My head buried into his chest and I breathed in the scent of him. He had his own unique smell that I loved. He didn't smell like home. Not the pine trees or forest. He didn't smell like the Capitol. Clean and cleansed. He didn't smell like cinnamon or alcohol. He didn't smell like blood and roses. I appreciated it all. He smelled like lavender and chocolate. It smelled good. Somehow it still smelled a little bit like home. He was home to me. We laid there for a moment in the dark silence and I smiled at Cato when I saw that he was slowly dozing off.

"You know, I'll still miss you," I said quietly, hoping that he was asleep.

For a moment he was silent and I thought that he really hadn't heard me. But right as I closed my eyes I finally got my response. "You'll always have me," he said.

Despite everything that we had done, I still managed to blush. I was glad that it was dark and he couldn't see my face. I yawned deeply and laid my ear against Cato's chest so that I could fall asleep to his heartbeat. His breathing was even for a while and nearly twenty minutes after he had first spoken he fell asleep. But for hours I stayed awake. There was no way that I could sleep after everything that had happened. The world was collapsing around me and I had nearly been assaulted earlier this evening. Once I knew that I could no longer stand to be awake I closed my eyes and pushed my way through a fitful sleep.

A/N: Here's another fully edited chapter. Let me know what you think! Until next time- A