So, this has been proven a lot harder to write than I originally anticipated. I like the idea behind it, now if I could just get momentum!
That being said, thank you guys for taking the time to read this. I love writing, and I try my hardest to write well. As I've grown older, my style has changed quite a bit from my first stories...and now, I write with much darker themes. So I do apologize if anything I write offends anyone, and I do have plans to make this a pretty dark story. Thank you for the subs, the reviews, the views...all of it. You all rock.
Pounding.
Her head was literally pounding.
And it wouldn't stop, either.
Nope, wait...that was the door pounding.
Groaning, Paige stretched across the shitty mattress she was on, already feeling the aches and pains in her lower back where the mattress springs must've been jabbing her all night long. Groggily, she swung her feet to the edge of the bed, pulled her black Spandex shorts to a reasonable length, and zombie-walked towards the door.
"For fuck's sake, I'm coming!" she yelled at the horrible noise.
She swung the door open, revealing Renee Young, who was far too chipper and awake and peppy for what time it was.
"Jesus, Paige, do you have any idea what time it is?" Renee said, her normally cherub-like face turned stern, mother-hen mode in full-effect.
"Um..like maybe eight?" Paige wondered out loud, and Renee wrinkled her nose.
"Try like, three?" she said back, shaking her head. "Jesus, girl. we've got a shoot in an hour, and you look like a nightmare."
"Yeah, the shoot...count me out," Paige walked back towards her bed, falling on to it and letting her black hair fall erratically against the bedsheets.
"Knock it off, Paige," Renee warned, entering the room and gently shutting the door behind her. "You know damn well we've got to do this shoot to gear up for the next season of Total Divas. Quit acting like a baby."
"Maybe I don't want to be on Total Divas," Paige said absent-mindedly, her dark eyes focused on a spot on the ceiling. She wondered if she was looking at a spider on the ceiling. Concentrating heavily on it, she decided it was probably just dust, as it never jutted across the tiling.
Wait. I don't remember reading anything for a shoot! But...then again...who knows, I might've completely missed it.
"I love you dearly, and you know that. And that's why I'm telling you this. What happened last night was scary shit. And I don't want to have to report that whole incident to Stephanie, but you know damn well that I will," Renee was being very pointed in her words, and Paige knew she probably should get her ass in gear.
"I really just need to disappear for awhile," Paige mumbled, covering her head with the blanket.
"I understand how things seem for you right now, but disappearing is going to have to wait. Unless you don't want to have a job, of course."
Finally, letting out a low banshee scream, Paige kicked off all of the blankets. "Fine! I'll go to the stupid shoot. Can't afford to lose my job, too, I suppose. But I am most definitely putting a request in for like, a month off or something. Because my mind is in total fuck-shit mode."
Renee giggled as she offered her hand to help the raven-haired beauty out of bed. "I knew you'd see it my way. Now, put on some decent clothes, and we'll take a cab together downtown. We've gotta talk about whatever is going on in your mind."
Paige halfheartedly agreed, waving her hand at the blonde as she stumbled towards the bathroom, her legs feeling unfamiliar and numb. She still smelled of stale alcohol and maybe garlic bread, looking forward to getting the horrendous smells off from her as she ran the hottest of water she could handle.
Just under a half hour later, Paige emerged, wearing black leggings and an oversized t-shirt. She knew it wasn't stellar, but it was comfortable, and feeling as useless and shitty as she did...well, it would do. Her hair fell in long, black strings around her face, still damp from her shower. She only wore eyeliner, deciding that this shoot would put faux eyelashes and the whole nine yards on for her; the less she had to do, the better.
Renee gave a quick clap for the former Divas champion, getting up abruptly from her perch on the hotel chair, swooping her phone up from the table in one fluid motion.
"I've got a cab waiting for us out front," she said brightly, and Paige wondered if this woman was ever in a bad mood. She didn't think so.
Then again, she had an amazing life. No real storylines, no competition, a kick-ass boyfriend...yeah, she had it good. Paige found herself slightly unleashing the green monster named Jealousy, trying to close the lid tightly before it consumed her. But Renee was the lucky one. And maybe Paige was unique and dark, but really, that hadn't been doing her any favors. She was falling, quickly.
Most the way there, she listened to Renee talk about the way Dean was finally going to get the creative push he certainly deserved. But, she found herself trying really hard to tune out the interviewer, wishing that maybe things would've worked out with...well, any of her ex-boyfriends. But Paige was a free spirit; a wanderer. She had a hard time committing to anything outside of the ring. Though, she thought that maybe she might've committed to...
Knock it off, Paige. You were still a baby!
Finally, they neared a large, perhaps completely abandoned brick auditorium, and Paige couldn't help but to notice that Dean Ambrose stood against the brick wall, quickly putting out a cigarette as though he'd been caught in a heinous act.
"Dean's at the shoot?" she wondered, watching as he ducked inside the old, brick building, raising an eyebrow at the cracking foundation. It seemed odd that, out of anywhere, this seemed to be the place chosen by the stylistic E! to have any kind of promotional shoots.
"Um, well, yeah. He's making some cameo, you know. He can't hid from our relationship forever," she said quickly, looking outside her window and avoiding Paige's sideways glance.
"How'd you manage to talk him into being on camera at all?" Paige wondered.
"I didn't. Dean does what Dean wants, and I can't promise he'll be really nice or a likable guy at all."
Paige considered this, figuring she was fairly similar to Dean in that sense. Although she'd signed on to Total Divas just for a significant paycheck, it didn't make it any easier to have cameras catch her at some of her most private, humiliating moments.
Didn't Dean talk to her about being very alike last night? She actually wasn't sure; her head still a fuzzy cloud of uncertainty.
Didn't she almost die last night?
Paige tried her damnedest to recall and piece together the previous night. She knew she was pretty fucked up, she knew that someone had threatened to seriously hurt her, and she knew that Dean Ambrose had kicked the living shit out of the person who planned her harm. But there were too many missing links, too many missing pieces to comprehend the full flow of the story.
She followed Renee's footsteps, keeping her head low to avoid Dean's stare. She knew he was inside, but she also knew he was probably watching her from somewhere...disappointed in her, just like the whole lot of them. Oftentimes, she didn't give a flying fuck who didn't like what she did or what she said, but given the mess she just found herself in...
"Paige, welcome," said a familiar voice. It was Natalya, who often acted as a mother hen for the Total Divas cast. Being the most seasoned with the company, Natalya often took it upon herself to lend an ear, to train and support, and always spout honest, brutal advice. Paige's head shot up, a confused look quickly crossing her features. Instead of a makeup crew, cameras, and racks stuffed with beautiful clothes that she'd never buy in real life, all of her friends sat in a circle, each of them perched on a metal chair. Renee slid quickly into her own, crossing and uncrossing her legs as she tried to get comfortable in the most uncomfortable of all seating.
"Take a seat," Brie Bella offered her the only vacant chair, which was at the top of their circle. On one side, Dean Ambrose sat; on the other, Natalya. She gave a quick wave to Foxy, whom she was surprised to see-after all, her personal life wasn't exactly one to be jealous of, either.
Nikki Bella kept a forced smile on her face, her lips bright red as always. She wore her neck brace, yet somehow, she still managed to look gorgeous and as put together as ever. Paige suddenly regretted her decision to show up frumpy-it appeared that everyone was dressed nicely, except for her. But she could venture a guess that maybe that was because nobody else was still hung over as she was, given it was so late in the day.
"Guys?" Paige asked quietly as she meekly pulled out the metal chair. "What's going on? Am I in trouble?"
Natalya put her hand on her castmate's shoulder as soon as she was seated. "Paigey, you know we all care about you a lot," Natalya used the lame ass pet name she'd given the dark-haired diva when they'd first met each other in an NXT ring, which wasn't a good sign.
"Oh, fuck me!" Paige exclaimed, realization finally striking her. "I fucking knew there was no shoot! I knew I hadn't been so obliterated that I'd missed something that huge! This is a goddamn intervention, isn't it?"
All eyes looked at each other, and none of them would look into hers. She became furious, standing up and threatening to throw the chair at whoever organized this whole thing. She yelled, carried on, told everyone that they need not worry for her well-being. She was just going through a rough patch in her life. So whoever thinks this is funny should promptly fuck off; as this was not something to joke about in the slightest.
"Paige, listen," Dean Ambrose finally spoke, and she calmed a little. "Yeah, it's a goddamn intervention. Do you know why? You put yourself in serious danger last night. You don't even remember the whole night, do you? And do you know why? Because you were black-out drunk!"
"So fucking what!" Paige shrieked, still standing at the head of the circle. "Leading a drunk life is sure as hell much better than a bullshit one!"
"You wouldn't have a life if it weren't for Dean," Alicia Fox spoke quietly. Paige glared at her, unsure if the only person who wasn't a hundred percent on the progression of events.
"Who else knows about this little get together?" Paige snarled, throwing her hands up in the air before finally slamming the metal chair back to the seated position with a loud, thunderous thunk. She slid herself on to it, still glaring at each individual, one by one. "Don't tell me there's a cameraman hiding somewhere, catching this all for next season's premiere of Total Divas. And if there is, I will rip each of your souls out, one by one-this is my life you guys, this isn't something for an audience to see!"
"And that's a very fair point, Paige," Renee piped up again. "And we don't want the audience to see this side of you. No, there are no cameras. We all know, and we're coming to you before we have no choice but to go on to Stephanie McMahon...or talent relations...to deal with you from there. We're only doing this because we know you're capable of so much more," Renee spoke very softly and directly, yet Paige couldn't help but feel like her friend was playing the interviewer persona she portrayed every single show. This didn't feel as genuine as it should've. These people weren't really her friends, either; as far as she was concerned, her friends were the very same back home in England, who helped her crash college parties and swipe bourbon from her dad's private stash.
"We will go to the next step, though, if you don't acknowledge that there's a problem, and attempt to fix it," Brie spoke now, her own motherly tone apparent.
"Oh, fuck off already!" Paige snapped. "Quit speaking to me like a child! In fact, why don't you go speak to your own child in that ever-endearing voice you just shot at me? OH! Wait, my bad-because you don't have any!" Paige was red with fury yet again, her emotions like a literal roller-coaster. She knew, deep down, she ought to listen, but right now, she wanted to put every single one of those women on the spot, just as they had to her. It simply wasn't fair, and she didn't like it.
"Enough!" Natalya took control of the floor again. "Paige, that was a low blow, even for you. I know you feel like you're under a magnifying glass right now, but we're doing this to benefit you. Yeah, you could've died last night. No, you aren't aware of how so. Fine. But we all see how this is going to go; it'll continue to spiral downward. When is it going to be enough, Paige? When is it going to be too much for you?" Natalya spoke directly to the younger woman now, and Paige caught Brie wiping a stray tear from the well of her eye. So what if she'd gotten her feelings hurt? Paige thought to herself. Fuck the whole lot of these trolls.
Renee quickly recapped a shortened version of last night's events, and normally, Paige would be embarrassed to hear that she had done such horrible things. Yet, somehow, she had a hard time believing the main character of this story was actually her.
"You've got to learn to control your alcohol intake, for one," Natalya said. "You don't see it now, but you will: that behavior is pushing every good influence that you have out of your life. And we all know that since Rosa's had the baby, it's gotten imminently worse for you. We know about the struggles you've been through. And love, I don't want to make you feel bad or belittle your situation, because it does suck and it does put a hole in your heart. But every single one of us has had our own struggles and issues, and not one of them is better or worse than yours."
Paige looked up, somewhat defeated. Yes, Natalya was right. But at the same time, it didn't make her feel any better; she had been choosing to drink all of the memories away, party the issues that were underlying in her relationships. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do, but she also knew that Nikki and Brie used to be huge drinkers back in their early years. No fucking way would a couple of headlining boyfriends and closets filled with designer things could change the shady things that they'd been involved in, too!
"I got my heart destroyed," Paige said quietly, biting her quivering lip. She was not a crier, not at all. And she didn't want to be the big titbaby in this roomful of her peers!
"So did I," Alicia Fox commented.
"Me, too," both of the Bellas chimed in.
"My mom was a dirty, grimy cokehead," Dean murmured. "She sometimes forgot to feed me when I was a kid."
The whole room turned to look at the floppy-haired superstar, who looked to be pensive as he was rolling around in his own mind. Nobody spoke for a long time, and Dean just sat there, pretending as if it were the most normal thing in the world to say.
"See, Paigey, we've all had plenty of issues. The only problem is, we've learned to cope with them throughout the years. You, on the other hand, haven't been fully able to make personal amends," Natalya put her hand on her her shoulder, speaking exactly like she was coaching an NXT talent.
This had to be a joke. It didn't feel real.
"So...what do you want me to do?" Paige asked finally. "Go see a shrink? Get over this guy by getting under a new one?"
"You do whatever makes you feel better," Nikki smiled lightly. "First of all, don't start seeing a new guy until you get your mind and body sorted out. It's only fair. And second of all, I can definitely give you the number to my own therapist...it might do you much more good than you'd realize."
"That's very sweet of you, Nicole," Brie commented. "I think we all know that, for starters, it might do you some good to step back from competition for awhile. I'm not saying you ought to take time off, necessarily. But at least step back from the company. Let some of the newer girls grow, let yourself grow, make things right within...and come back with the same love and passion that you had when you first set foot on Monday Night Raw."
"I've been thinking about having them write me in an injury," Paige admitted, thinking that a break from all of this stress might actually be good. She could spend a week at home, maybe more...yeah, that didn't sound too bad. She missed her mum terribly.
"From the bottom of my heart, I think that would be a good thing," Renee responded. "I just don't ever want to see a repeat of last night, and I would hate to see what could happen if you didn't do this for yourself."
"Promise me, then, that you'll talk to them first thing tomorrow? Give one of the heads of the creative department a quick call, just ask to be written off script for a little while?" Alicia pled with her friend, folding her hands together as though she was begging. "I can't lose you, too," she said quietly. "Losing Rosa and Wade from my everyday life was hard enough."
"Fine...fine. I'll do it. And I'll call my mum for a flight to get back over to England first thing next week. I could use a little family time."
"Thank you," Alicia stood, giving her friend a hug. "Jesus, girl, don't ever give us scares like that again!"
"I won't," Paige replied, and she'd meant it. "When I come back, I'll be just as straight-edge as CM Punk," she cracked a lame joke, and everyone rolled their eyes. Whilst Paige had gotten along well with AJ Lee and Punk, basically the entire locker room hadn't, so nobody laughed or hinted a smile.
"Ew, please, don't," Nikki replied, wrinkling her nose. "I can't stand that hairy animal."
Paige fleetingly wondered if there was a much deeper reason for why her disdain for the Best in the World was at such a high level, though she'd never ask the woman for fear of being forever shunned by the rest of the divas. But, Punk was a well-known ladies man, and nothing really would surprise her. At least, he used to be a ladies man, 'til he'd gotten stars in his eyes over the Black Widow.
Hmmm...haven't talked to AJ in awhile. Maybe I ought to.
With that, the group disbanded, little circles chattering among themselves. As usual, Paige found herself standing alone.
But she was a lone wolf, she thought; and she prided herself in that. Still, being the lone wolf was just that: Lonely.
Okay, so Paige had been more eager than ever to head back to England now that her friends had posted that they were going to one of the largest new clubs in Britain on their Twitter accounts. It was reported that even David Beckham had been spotted in the VIP lounge of it; and it was something she simply didn't want to miss. Though the price for admission was high, she didn't care; people knew who she was, and if she didn't get in for free, she'd whine until she did. Regardless, she had originally meant to ask her mum to set her up a plane ticket later, but she was growing anxious, ready to leave like, now.
So, she called her, even though it was nearing midnight over there. Whatever, her whole family was a bunch of night owls...it was unlikely anyone would be asleep until the wee hours of the morning.
One ring. Two. Three. Four.
Come on! Paige silently willed for anyone to pick up the phone. Just as she did so, her prayer was seemingly answered, as the familiar voice of her mother greeted her.
"Hey, mum, I've been thinking about coming home for a week or two," Paige spoke quickly, hoping her mother wouldn't object. The last time she'd been home, her friend Lily had been fighting with her loser-ass boyfriend, which landed the woman on Paige's mum's couch for a month. It wouldn't have been so bad, had Lily not been caught stealing some of her dad's prescription painkillers straight from the medicine cabinet.
"Oh, that's great, hun. When were you thinking?"
"Like...maybe next Thursday or Friday? I just really need a vacation from this place," she admitted, still pretty frazzled about the intervention that had taken place just a few days ago. Sometimes, her mind kept swinging back in forth, unsure if she should follow through with her plan to step back or not. But, if she didn't do as the other women had asked her to, the daunting idea of Stephanie or talent relations getting involved lurked in the back of her mind. And again, the last thing she wanted was for Road Dogg, a legendary tag-team icon, to put her in her place just as he had last year. He'd threatened her with her job then, and she could just imagine that if he'd caught wind of this new story, he'd march straight to his buddy Hunter's office and let him hear it.
All situations sucked ass.
"Oh, dear...your dad and I won't even be in the country," her mum responded, and Paige's ears perked up. "You'll be in the United States?! That'd be great! I can just travel with you guys for awhile, hang out with the family that created me, bond without the cameras and shit."
"No...no, dear, your dad and I have a really important promotion alongside New Japan," her mum explained. "And you're not able to come with. That one's strictly for business...and I'm sorry, but your antics can't lose us this important deal."
"My antics?" Paige asked loudly, bewildered. Now even her own flesh and blood were afraid to bring her along to serious things!
"Oh, you know what I mean. This is just really important that things go well between our family and theirs, Paige. We get the ins with Japan, and it's only uphill for our business."
"I don't think I do know what you mean," Paige said, a obvious, sharp edge to her tone now.
"I mean, we can't have you running through their country, looking like a childish young woman," the voice on the other end of the phone was stern now. "I love you, Paige, but the answer there is no. And don't even think about coming home and having our house to yourself, either! I'll lock the damn thing if I have to. I know what you did to our abode the last time you got to be home alone. It took me and your brother nearly a month to get the foam from your little foam party off from the kitchen tiles on the ceiling! And, someone took a shit in my favorite Jade plant!"
"Fuck, Mum, alright! I get it. I've gotta fend for myself," Paige was irritated, but tried to keep her cool.
"You're old enough now to know when enough is enough," she responded. "Just think things through before you jump. I know you're a wanderlust, a dreamer, and all that...but just tighten up the reigns a little bit. You're giving the horse too much control."
"Thanks, Ma. But you don't need to talk to me like I'm a cowboy," she muttered.
"A real John Wayne," came the reply, followed by a tinkly laugh.
"Who?" Paige asked, her brow wrinkling in confusion, though her mother obviously couldn't see her through the phone.
"Oh, google him. I've got to go. Tell Foxy I said hello."
"Will do."
"Love you, baby girl."
"You, too, ma."