Hello guys, this chapters a bit longer, I had planned to split the chapter but i just wanted to get straight to the Joker! It was hard to write this scene, i get my inspiration mainly from Heath Ledgers version of the Joker, but there are elements of the Joker from the Arkham games, and the animated series so do tell me what you think of my version of the Joker :3 (once again sorry for spelling mistakes! :/)
The next week passed in a blur of apprehension and excitement, my conflicting emotions wreaking havoc on my sleeping patterns. My mind was completely focused on ways to expose the Joker, my last chance. But it was no longer about my career, it was becoming more personal. There was something about the Joker that I found absolutely fascinating, I was becoming obsessed with exposing his true nature, seeing under neither the façade. Yet his fierce eyes and ever fiercer grin haunted my dreams.
I'd made the decision to schedule our second session exactly a week after the first. To my superiors my reason was to allow for a routine to form, allowing the Joker to adjust to the idea of me as his psychiatrist. In reality it was to mentally prepare myself. In my normal sessions all week my mind was barely present, not that my patients were any more mentally present than me.
The only patient that picked up on my quiet withdrawn attitude was poor David Moore in yesterday's session. He suffered from violent psychotic breakdowns that would frighten even the most experienced nurse. I'll admit I've had a soft spot for David. Kingston wasn't exaggerating when he'd said I'd help him come a long way all those months ago.
David had been my first patient at Arkham and we truly had developed almost a friendship in those months of sessions. It was because of our strange blossoming friendship that he'd opened up about his tragic past, the nightmares that didn't leave him when he was awake and all the voices. There was something sweet about him when he was calm. He was oddly soft spoken when subdued which contrasted with his rabbit screams any time he wasn't.
In our regular midweek session we routinely going through his hallucinations. In fairness I hadn't been listening overly carefully, I'd been too busy thinking on the problem with the Joker. He occupied most of my thoughts. There were so many different angels I could try in an attempt to get him to reveal more of himself, innocent, vulnerable, confident, calculating. The only problem was the Joker would pick up on any tactic I tried, and easily disarm and distract me. I was so deep in contemplation I didn't even notice that the session with David was nearly over.
"Sorry David, I'm afraid that's all we've got time for. I know it's hard for you to recount the hallucinations without going into a rage. The fact you can shows that it's possible to overcome them" I tried to smile in the usual way that was second nature around David, but even I could feel how forced it was.
As the orderly came in to escort David back to his cell he had looked up at me in such a strange way, like a concerned parent.
"You aint the same today. You should be like you always are…I don't like it when you're being someone eles…" looking down he muttered it so quietly I could barely hear him. I wasn't even sure I was meant to, but it resonated in my mind all the way home last night.
The solution was so simple, it almost seemed so simple to work. Peter has summed it up perfectly the Joker would pick up instantly on anything fake. There was no way I could create a persona that would stand up to the Joker, the only solution was to simply be myself and hope that would be enough to withstand the assaults the Joker would no doubt deliver. Had it not been her personality that had helped David open up, had helped countless other patients?
Well not really Harley, you always put on a face for your patients. You spend your entire life acting, was the reply from the cynical part of my mind. It didn't matter though, because I was seeing the Joker today and it was the only idea I'd had all week that could even have a chance. The only problem was convincing Kingston to the second part of my plan that had come to me at 3 in the morning while sleep avoiding me.
It was surreal to walk down the corridors of Arkham, knowing that I was heading towards the Joker yet again, and while I wanted to think I was more confident this time my legs still shook as I walked. Peter was hovering outside the door to the therapy room rather than my office today, at least he was consistent in his habits. He must have seen my facial expression harden as I came round the corner because he instantly attempted to look guilty.
"Don't worry, I'm not here to lecture you. I'm sure you understand the importance of this session, I just came to wish you good luck I suppose" Then he gave me that same cheerful patronising smile, clearly he wanted to establish the boundaries again. Fine. It was good that he was here because it forced me to ask his permission for phase two of the natural Harley approach. I hadn't worked up the nerve to find him and ask, but seeing as he was here there was nothing to lose.
"Listen Kingston I'm glad you're here, there was something I wanted to ask. I want the orderlies to wait outside during the session." I tried to gauge his reaction but his face looked like it was about to explode so I rushed on quickly before he completely dismissed it "I know it's risky. I know he's dangerous, but he won't open up with the two guards standing there the whole time."
Peter thought about it seriously, I could see the arguments forming in his mind ready to use….but I had a response for every single one and he knew that. With a look of grudging respect he called over the two orderlies, both men I didn't know, and explained that they would be waiting outside and be ready to run in at a moment's notice. He walked over with the same look of tiredness I'd seen in his office and grabbed my arm roughly pulling my aside.
"Listen Quinzel, I'm trusting you here. In fact I'm trusting you far more than I should so you best get results. That man in there is an animal you understand! Do not trust him. He's going to try and twist you against everyone like last time, don't fall for it."
All I could manage was a nod before he stalked away, no more words of comfort. I knew I he wanted results with the Joker as much as I did, but that didn't give him a right to be an ass. I ran my hand over my arm where he'd grabbed it, feeling it sting slightly. I couldn't dwell on Kingston aggressive attitude, I'd got what I wanted and it was time to see if this was all an awful mistake.
It was surreal walking into that room again, because instantly I felt the same dread and helplessness that I had last week. It didn't matter that I'd had time to prepare, that I knew what was coming, I was still relieved when I managed to sit down before collapsing. The only difference this time was that instead of looking down uninterested, I had the Jokers full attention. He was slouched back in the chair completely at ease despite the manacles on his wrists, his eternal grin fixed on me as I walked in.
"Good morning Joker, I'm here for our second session."
"Doc, where are your err charming friends?" His tone might have seemed light hearted but there was a blazing curiosity behind those eyes that started to make me second guess just how much damage he could do before the orderlies could get in. Instantly my mind went back to Peter statement about the Joker being an animal. There was no mistaking how predatory his gaze was.
"I asked the orderlies wait outside. I thought you might prefer being alone." I wanted to sound like I was comfortable being alone with him but I knew it was a mistake the minuet the words came out of my mouth.
"Why Doc, I'm surprised at how err forward you are. You gotta buy a fella diner first" Followed of course by that jarring howl of a laugh, but strangely he didn't break eye contact the whole time he laughed.
He was sitting up straight now, the atmosphere changing as his body dominated the room. I'd never truly appreciated just how tall he was. He'd always stayed slumped in the chair but now as he leant forward over the table I realised just how physically intimidating he could be when he wanted. His lank green hair hung around his face, looking almost out of place without his makeup in place. Most people would have pushed back the stray strands but he didn't even seem to notice. He was to intently focused on staring me down with an unreadable expression.
"Doc sounds so….cold." The Joker pulled an over exaggerated sad face, "Can I call you Harley?" The way his voice said my name send shivers down my spine, but it was a good thing. The first name bases rather than simply calling me "Doc" had to be a good sign didn't it?
Harley, this is clearly his way of challenging you. You got his attention in the last session by being different, now he wants to see how you'll react. Time to show him you mean business, and impress Kingston.
"Feel free to call my Harley, everyone does. So Joker, what would you like to talk about today? I want you to feel comfortable around me, so instead of me asking you questions today I thought you could lead the discussion"
He paused for a moment, still leaning over the table before whispering "Do you wanna know how I got these scars?"
"I'm sorry Joker, I'd be an idiot to believe you'd tell me the true story. I have watched your sessions you know. Was it four different stories, or five?"
"But you could be the one to really open me up… get the real story I mean. You're the only decent conversation I've had in months. See, everyone else in here thinks I'm crazy and I'm not…..I'm not crazy"
"Honestly, I could debate whether you're clinically insane or not for hours with you and get nowhere. You're like no patient that I've ever had or read about."
"Ohh really?" His grin may have been widen than ever, the puckered scars pulled tight, but his eyes were murderous. I was acutely aware that there were no strong protective orderlies standing behind me to restrain him.
"Whether or not you're insane doesn't matter in the bigger picture, because it doesn't affect your goals. Because you see the contradictions, hypocrisy of the world, you reveal in destroying things to bring people one step closer to seeing the comedy of life the way you do. Now people will call you insane for that, because you think differently, you see the world in a different way, that's what it boils down to. Thousands of physiatrists could diagnose you with every problem possible but that doesn't matter because it doesn't affect your goal to expose the nature of things. You perfect for your perceived purpose, which is why you'll never be cured."
There was a moment silence, he leaned back with his arms crossed staring at me appraisingly. "You know Harley, you're different to all these other sheep."
"What do you qualify as different?"
"They're all closed minded, they only see what they can handle, what they can rationalise. See, the guy running this place…King whatever. When he looks at me, he sees an animal he needs to control. The nurses and orderlies are just following his command… no minds of their own. The other psychiatrist…they're all too busy trying to fix me up. Not you. With a little work, you could see things as they are" He was still leaning forward as he spoke, his voice the same tone it had been throughout the entire session, but there was something different. One half of me was screaming to be carefully, that the Joker was simply playing more games with me. However a part of me whispered the difference was due to the fact Joker was actually being honest and letting down his façade.
"And how do you think things really are then Joker?" I hated the way my voice started to waver again, the intensity in his eyes seemed to be permeating my resolve. I didn't know how much longer I could last in a room with him.
"Chaos" Leaning back away from the table, howling with laughter so loud I flinched back.
I wanted to throw up my calm clinical persona that helped me remain distant when dealing with patients but I knew the Joker lived to tear down people's walls and expose all that was under neither. Going in I'd assumed he'd ripped down peoples walls for sadistic pleasure, enjoying making them vulnerable. I wasn't naive enough to think he didn't get a sadistic kick from but there was more to it than that it. The Joker wanted to expose everything hidden, tear people from there comfort zones and force them to confront the chaotic nature we all hide. It was obvious that it was a game of cat and mouse to him, how far he could push someone, how thoroughly he could destroy everything a person was. But there was more to his game than power plays and sadism, now it made sense why the Joker was so driven, and why he could never be stopped or reasoned with.
"Well Joker I think I'll end the session there" It was obviously my voice was pitched and emotional, and the delight in his eyes just made me want to curl up in the dark somewhere.
"Harrlleeyyy, leaving so soon?"
Before he could taunt me further stood up quickly. I couldn't handle any more of this. I was losing not only a grip on the situation but on my emotions. No doubt I'd got myself kicked of the case, let's just hope I didn't lose my job all together. There was unorthodox methods, and bonding with a patient but I'm fairly sure there was a rule against enforcing their deluded ideas of sanity. What's worse is Kingston had warned me before not to get carried away and dragged into the Jokers taunts. Not only had I revealed my doubts on his insanity, enforcing his already twisted perceptions of himself.
"The session is over Joker, no doubt this will be are last session."
Despite how fried my emotions were, or maybe because of it, his comic surprised face made me bust out laughing. To go from his murderous stares and taunting smiles to what seemed like genuine confusion I couldn't help but giggle. I knew I shouldn't say anything more, especially not after that unprofessional laughter but it wasn't like I would see him again.
"You didn't think they'd let an intern keep your case did you." I lowered my voice hoping the crappy sound system wouldn't pick up my next words, but I'd already fucked up.
It didn't make a difference though, I might as well not have said anything because the Joker was staring at the floor despondently. He was muttering something under his breath I couldn't hear, but I decided I didn't want to know anymore.I exited the room as quickly as I could manage on my shaken legs. The minuet I was out of the room I speed away down the corridor not bothering to tell the orderlies to return the Joker to his cell, they were smart guys they could figure it out. The overwhelming sense of defeat at losing control in the session crashed over me.