Hello, my darling dungeon-rats! It's that time of week again! Updates abound! And look, this story got a new image! LOOKIT HOW PRETTY IT IS COMPARED TO THE OLD ONE. Anyway, I'll stop my babble (or should I say babel, am I right? ... No, I'm not right). ON WITH THE SHOW!

LAWYERBOT SAYS: ...Eh, something clever that insults Christians.
The Binding of Isaac, including all related characters, items, and locations (c) Edmund McMillen, because he's awesome.
Original story of 'the binding of Isaac' (c) Genesis 22, one of the MANY Biblical fun-facts I learned on this journey.

Please note that the following is simply one take on a novelization of this epic adventure. The game is deep and symbolic, therefore meant to be open to interpretation. Please do not correct my version, merely enjoy it for the experience. :)

CHAPTER FOUR: Sea of Sin

The shops were a unique quirk of this adventure. In the earlier areas, Isaac and Maggie were unable to access them, as each one was hidden behind a heavy locked door. With Cain's help, though, they could now access these areas. Each shop was watched by a strange keeper, most with ropes around their necks and maggots in their empty eye-sockets. ("Trust me, they're only playing dead," Cain warned. "It's how they catch thieves.")

The items were presented in a neat row, all with little pieces of cardboard with the price scribbed on. The prices seemed to be the same from area to area - cards and keys and bombs for five cents, special items like ladders and purses for fifteen. (Sometimes they were even on sale!)

The shops were nice places, so Isaac didn't think to have any trepidation about using one of his keys to peek inside. Once the others heard the door open, they rushed over to tag along.

Isaac was the first to step inside. Strange - why wasn't there a shopkeeper inside? "Hello? Anybody home?"

Cain and Samson recognized something was amiss, dragging the lady away from the door. "Isaac, look out, it's a-"

THUNK! "I really hope he wasn't going to say 'trap'," Isaac cringed, watching the door shut behind him.

"...I...sssssss...aac..."

Nervously, Isaac spun on his heel and turned to face the hissing noise. One of the shopkeepers was lowering down from the ceiling via the rope arounds its neck, just before dropping down and crawling its way towards the young refugee.

"U-Uhm...h-hi, mister shopkeep," Isaac waved. "S-sorry I don't have tons of money, but, uh...i-if you could maybe open the door and let my friends in, I'd really-ack!"

Isaac stumbled as the shopkeep lunged after him, and wasn't able to escape before the keeper pinned him against the wall. The monster gave another hiss, tearing at Isaac and knocking all of his pennies loose. The refugee tried to scramble for his spilt coins, but every time he looked away, the hungry shopkeep struck again, spilling them once more.

Once the refuge managed to pull away, the shopkeep gave a wrenching cough, spitting blood across the room like so many of the monsters were prone to do. He ducked and weaved through the grotesque projectiles, only to find himself face-to-face with his attacker once again, which sent another rain of coins onto the floor.

Finally, Isaac managed to wrestle himself away. "Stop it! What do you want?"

The keeper gave a throaty chuckle. "Onnnneeee...of ussssss..." it hissed.

"One of you? What do you mean?"

"Onneee of usssss!" it shrieked again, raising its stumpy arms to the sky. In two large puffs of smoke, a pair of hoppers appeared - headless bodies that convulsed and jumped blindly across the room. "Sssssevennn ssssinnnsss...Isssssssaaac ssssinnnns!"

The keeper was laughing hysterically as Isaac just barely dispatched his hoppers. "One of us, seven sins, Issac sins", over and over and over again.

Isaac could barely stand, what with his fear and panic mixing with the crippling pain of the slashes from losing all of his coin. "I'm not one of you!" he cried. "I'm not a sinner! I'm not! I'm not, I'm not, I'm NOT!"

Poof! Cling-cling-cling-cling-clink! THUNK!

All at once, the evil keeper vanished, leaving a shower of coins in its wake - between those and the coins Isaac had lost, the entire floor was coated in shiny pennies and nickels. Once the room was clear, the door slid open once more, allowing Samson and Maggie to rush in and tend to Isaac (while Cain detoured to pick up some of the coins).

"Isaac, are you okay?" Maggie called, kneeling to Isaac's side.

Isaac couldn't answer immediately. Even though the monster had gone, his hisses still rang through Isaac's mind. One of us. Seven sins. Isaac sins.

First Mom, now the shopkeepers.

"I'm not a sinner. I'm not a bad person." Deciding not to make things worse, Samson and Maggie stayed quiet.

Cain, having cleared the room's gold, came over and pulled Isaac back onto his feet. "Hey, you're fine - a little banged-up, but you're fine."

"Cain, what WAS that thing?" Isaac had to ask, realizing that Cain knew the caves a bit better than the rest of them.

The one-eyed bandit scoffed. "Just some greedy bastard. They're everywhere, and they're major pains. Forget about it - if you make it out alive, just take it and run."

Come on, admit it - you were all expecting this to be Judas, right? Tsk-tsk, dungeon-rats, you should know better than that. Come on, this is the Binding of Isaac. XD Anyway, now we shouldn't fight Greed in the next shop, so tune in next time and see what tries to kill Isaac and friends in our next installment! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

§ Tucker's Mayflower, signing off! §