He had had her hand in his. His hand was broken, but hers had still been warm. He had seen Chelsea and Jenna before he had climbed out of the car and went around to the other side to get them out. He was trying to get them out when he passed out. Nick didn't understand how he was okay and they were gone. He was trying to save them, but he couldn't. He had done everything he could, but it wasn't enough. He was here, getting stitches, and they were gone. Forever.
Nick's heart had never felt heavier than it did right now. He could barely breathe, and he knew it had nothing to do with the stitches he had just gotten on his sides. He knew it had nothing to do with the dark bruise across his chest from the seat belt or the fractured ribs he had. He knew none of that had anything to do with it, despite what the doctors told him. He could barely breathe because he knew that Chelsea and Jenna were gone. He was never going to see them again, and the pain was almost enough to stop his heart and crush his lungs. Almost, but not quite.
The day began to replay itself over in Nick's head. It had started off being a great birthday for him. He had taken Jenna to the park while Chelsea was at work and when she got home earlier than usual, they went to the movies. Chelsea had to get Nick out of the house so that Catherine could bring the food over with everyone else for the surprise party, which Nick had no idea about. On the way home, Jenna had been talking excitedly about how good the movie had been and Nick remembered that being the last thing he heard before the headlights blinded his vision. How could a day that had started so perfectly end in the worst way possible?
Nick glanced up at the clock hanging on the pale white wall. It read 11:53. The accident had occured around seven. In five hours, Nick's entire life had been turned upside down by something that only took mere seconds to happen. Everything had changed in those six hours, and they weren't going to be changed back ever again. Nick watched the minutes pass by, winding down to the end of his birthday. It had started off great, and was coming to a terrible end.
When the doctor was finished, he left without a word, leaving Nick alone for a few minutes. Nick didn't move at all in those few minutes before Catherine and Warrick came in, both with the same looks on their faces that they had had all night. Nick looked over at them and watched them walk over and stand in front of him. He stared at them with a blank expression on his face, not knowing what to say or do anymore.
"I'm so sorry Nicky," Catherine said softly before covering her mouth with her shaking hand.
The tears from before returned to Nick's eyes. "I'm sorry too."
Warrick shook his head. "It wasn't your fault man."
Nick nodded. "Yes, it was. I should have been able to save them, but I couldn't. It's my fault."
"No, it's not," Warrick said quietly, but firmly. "They both died instantly Nicky. They never felt a thing. There was nothing you could have done."
"Why am I okay? Why did they die, but I didn't?" Nick asked.
Catherine shook her head slowly. "I don't know. The doctors said it was because they're smaller and more fragile than you are, and the way the car landed...they had no chance Nicky."
Nick looked down at the tile floor beneat his dangling feet. The tears fell down his cheeks and onto the floor below. "I can't believe they're really gone," he choked out softly. "Why did this have to happen?"
No one had an answer, so they didn't try and offer an explanation. They knew that even if they had one, it wouldn't do any good. It wouldn't change anything, no matter how much they all wanted to. So instead they stayed there with Nick until they finally decided it was time for him to get some much needed rest. The doctors released him, and in less time than it seemed, Nick was asleep on Catherine's couch with her and Warrick sitting across from him on the loveseat in the dark living room, wishing that this was all just a terrible dream that would be over soon.
Warrick and Catherine were unable to fall asleep, but were glad that Nick did. He was completely exhausted, and the best thing for him at the time was to just sleep and get much needed rest. His broken left hand was resting on his chest as it rose slowly up and down. Catherine rested her head against Warrick's shoulder as tears fell from her eyes. Warrick had his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders, trying his best to make this not so hard. He knew that that was impossible as he watched his best friend sleeping on the couch in front of him. The loss of Jenna and Chelsea was difficult enough for him. He couldn't even imagine what Nick was going through.
Warrick tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but it wouldn't go away. It had been there since he had told Nick that Chelsea and Jenna were gone. The look in Nick's eyes had been enough to cut off Warrick's air supply for a few moments. He had never seen his friend look so lost and heartbroken before. He wished there was something he could do to make that look go away, but there wasn't. There was nothing anyone could do, and that was by far the worst part.
Nick awoke with a start and sat straight up, startling both Catherine and Warrick. Nick's ribs screamed out in pain of protest because of his sudden motion, but he didn't care. His hand was throbbing and his head felt like it was about to explode, but he didn't care. His breathing had suddenly changed from slow and steady to fast and ragged. His arms were shaking against his chest as he tried to get his breathing under control. When he finally did, he realized where he was and looked to his right over at Catherine and Warrick.
"I just dreamt about it," Nick said quietly. "I saw them die. They died, and I was right there." He swung his legs off the couch so he was sitting now, still looking at Catherine and Warrick.
They both got up and went over and sat down next to Nick on the couch, but they didn't stay there long. Moments after, they all stood up silently and went into the kitchen, where Catherine turned on a light and Warrick turned the coffee maker on. Then they all sat down at the table with a mug in front of them, filled with Greg's special Hawaiian coffee. Nick stared down at the table, trying to will away the pain in his chest.
"Stop blaming yourself," Warrick said, reading Nick's mind. "That won't make this any easier."
"I know, but I can't help it. I was right there. I'm still here, and they're gone. How is that fair?"
Catherine shook her head. "It isn't. But we're gonna get through this together, right?" she said as she reached across the table and put her and on Nick's.
Nick nodded and sighed heavily. "I sure as hell hope so."