Disclaimer: Not mine

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far: it has been very motivational! A few words to one of my reviewers, however, who unfortunately didn't sign in so I shall have to defend myself in an A/N instead. This is also relevant to readers who have got this far and are thinking 'The canon characters seem quite OOC?'; well, this story is going to be rather long; this is only fifth year by the time it gets to the end they will have finished seventh year, this means that the characters we start with at the beginning are going to change. What we are used to in canon are the finished articles of their characters, though here they are only fifteen – they still have a long way to go and a lot of lessons to learn that will, ultimately, mould them into the characters we know and love.

I'm afraid things are going to get worse for Lily and James before they get better, if you don't think you can handle that, then by all mean wait until I start posting Part (II). However, for people wishing to read the back-story and understand why it took Lily and James so long to finally get together, please continue. (Also, if anyone has issues with the story could they please sign in next time, to save me from writing an essay at the top of the next chapter.)

Chapter Three: Only A Kiss

Between the sand and stone,

Could you make it on your own?

-- The Calling; Wherever You Will Go

The myriad of autumnal colours gradually depleted day by day, leaving the trees listless and bare. Lily stared regularly out of the window, loving the change in seasons, even if it meant that they would be confined to the castle for the better part of the next three months. The winter that far north had a tendency to be bitter and relentless, having a particular type of weather that was both rain and wind and, if a student had the misfortune to be caught in it, felt like cold nails being continuously thrown in one's face.

Things in the Gryffindor common were merry and bright, however, and the first years were still overwhelmed from the recently passed Halloween, which had been as lively and atmospheric as usual.

Lily sat with Charlotte near the fire, taking a break from the homework piled next to their sofa. It was a rare moment when the two of them were together and they sat in comfortable silence, Lily playing idly with her friend's soft golden hair. Lizzy was at Quidditch practise and Violet has off somewhere with her boyfriend, Gerard.

"Lottie," she asked, using her term of endearment for her friend, "what do you think of James Potter and all his bluster?"

The blonde hesitated, enjoying the sensation of Lily's fingers running through her hair. "He's a player," she said, at last. "He likes you, for sure, but how long do you think that'll last?"

"I don't know," she admitted, trusting her friend's honesty. "Do you think I should give it a go anyway?"

"Well, I shouldn't think that he will give up until either you give in or you come up with a very good reason as to why you can't."

"I barely know him though," Lily protested. "How can I be with someone I barely know?"

Charlotte smiled affectionately at her friend's anxiety. "He's a boy and you're very pretty. I think that for him, knowing you barely comes into it."

"So you think I should hold out a bit longer and hope he gives up?"

"It's an opportunity though, it might not come again. I think you should go with him for a bit, have some fun, but please don't get hurt Lilsa."

Lily smiled at her friend's use of her informal name, used only by her three best friends. It felt nice to have someone know you well enough to nickname you. She thought about what Charlotte had said… she didn't know whether she could be with someone and not be emotionally attached, she expressed as much.

"But if you don't go, then you'll never know," the blonde Gryffindor answered, knowing that Lily's mind was all but made up now anyway and further conversation was just exploring the various avenues.

"And it could be something good," Lily echoed, biting her lip. She thought she might go for it.

There was a peaceful silence for a bit broken only by the crackling of the fire.

"The boys have been acting a little oddly recently, haven't they?" Charlotte said, breaking Lily's reverie.

It was true; they hadn't been at the Halloween feast, always seemed to be having mysterious chats and had not studied with the girls for days. "I know," Lily agreed. "Every time I seem to see Remus Lupin these days, he always looks deathly pale and ill."

"Lilsa," her friend started, curiosity evident in her tone. "Do you, y'know, like Remus Lupin a little?"

The redhead coloured in the firelight, but was sure it was indiscernible. "Perhaps," she said slowly, "but just because he's such a nice guy and really smart. Nothing would ever happen though because he's so loyal to James and stuff."

Charlotte nodded in agreement, though Lily couldn't quite work out the expression on her face.

--

Walking back from Charms the next day, Lily was graced with James' presence for what seemed like the first time in days. She noticed that they were left alone by the other six members of what had become an impromptu friendship group. If she was going to go ahead with this, now would be the ideal time.

"Potter," she greeted, amiably. The boy smiled back at her, quickly relieving her of her heavy book bag. If there was one thing that could be said for James Potter, it was certainly that he could be thoughtful when the mood took him.

"Good lesson?" he asked, making idle small talk.

Lily shrugged in return; he had been there – he should know. "Are you common room-ing it this evening?" By which she meant were he and the boys going to be joining them for the regular study session.

"Yeah, probably," James agreed, running fingers thoughtfully through his hair. "Only if Lupin is well enough though – he's been feeling a little under the weather."

The redhead looked at his hair all standing on end and thought that it made him look so much younger. "What's been wrong with him?"

"Cuban maroon-fever," he answered. "Nasty, recurring, disease. Not contagious though!"

Lily smiled in answer, still trying to pluck up the courage to make a move, hold his hand, say something, but she seemed to be wrestling her internal shy-person.

As had happened before, James brushed the back of his hand against hers, attempting to mingle their fingers. On previous occasions Lily had pulled away, finding something else for her hand to do at the particular point in time, but this time she let his fingers mesh with her own and, seeing the evident surprise in his eyes, allowed him to engulf her hand completely with his.

Apparently feeling emboldened by this, he tugged her to a halt. The corridor was conveniently deserted, and he pulled her gently to him, encircling her waist with his arms.

They were eye to eye and Lily felt a little short of breath, partly because it had all happened so suddenly and she wasn't used to being this close to a person she felt she barely knew, partly because she'd never even been kissed before and she had a feeling that that might all change and also partly because James' eyes were boring into hers with such an intensity that it took all her willpower not to flinch. There was a demandingness in James' eyes, and Lily knew what he expected of her, but being physical in any way wasn't something she'd do without due reason.

He dipped his head, his mouth coming to rest gently against hers. A small, but irrepressible, part of her brain seemed to be doing a little jig – 'you've finally done it, you've been kissed!' – it cried.

Lily leaned into the kiss, trying to respond to James' advances, but she felt stiff and disconnected. A warning alarm in her head went off as one of his hands wandered towards dangerous territory.

They broke apart, and the redhead felt a pang of disappointment; she had seen no fireworks, there had been no thrills, all she was left with was a slightly wet impression of James' mouth against her own.

James smiled at her encouragingly, but then didn't make eye-contact again until they reached Gryffindor Tower. He quickly released her hand once they were inside and they went to sit with the familiar group of girls and boys sprawled higgledy-piggledy about the scarlet common room.

As she sat down, she felt a sinking feeling in her stomach: something felt wrong, inside of her, she felt awkward and strange. Charlotte, Lizzy and Vi all studied Lily's face expectantly, looking for some hint of what had happened but she schooled it into blankness, knowing she'd be telling them all about it later anyway.

Babble broke out about the group, covering the initial awkwardness of her and James' return. The redhead eagerly threw herself into the pointless arguments about which Hitchcock sister Charlie Abe, a Slytherin seventh year, would eventually settle on, whether a Flobberworm would bounce or break if it was dropped off Gryffindor Tower and if Blast-Ended Skrewts could conceivably have any actual personality.

Lily met James' eyes a couple of times, and each time, questions flooded her brain. Were they together? Were they just friends? What did the kiss mean for them? She pulled a blank on each one.

After what seemed like hundreds of ridiculous mini arguments, Lily and her housemates climbed the winding stair to the dormitory. Once inside, they gathered around her, looks of concern marring their faces.

"Lilsa, you seem awfully down?" Lizzy exclaimed, giving her a tight and comforting hug.

The red-haired girl shrugged in reply.

"Things didn't go as expected with James?" the darker girl prompted, her brown eyes piercing Lily's own.

"It was okay," she started. "I mean we kissed and stuff but it wasn't anything special, I don't think I was a very good kiss."

"Don't say that!" Charlotte exclaimed sitting down beside Lily on the bed. "Practise makes perfect; you can't just assume you'll be an expert first time round."

"Yeah, it's not homework," Lizzy smiled.

Lily shook her head, "It wasn't even that… it just felt wrong. I barely know him, and he was obviously expecting a lot more of me!"

"Boys usually do," Violet nodded gravely. "Opportunists, and all that."

The redhead shrugged for what felt like the nth time, "I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens."

--

As November began to take proper root in Hogwarts, Lily met with Severus Snape in the Room of Requirement. They had met only once before, at the beginning of October, but it was not uncommon for the two secret friends to have six or seven weeks between meetings. They were secret partly because of the rivalry between their two houses but mostly because the friends that Severus had made at Hogwarts did not take kindly to muggleborns and, consequently, to blood-traitors, which was what Snape would have been seen as.

"You and Potter finally get it together at last?" Severus greeted her snidely, his black eyes glinting coldly in his pale face.

Lily perceived the jealousy in his voice and so shrugged off the comment. "Sort of," she agreed. "Nothing serious."

He scowled into her features, his voice schooled to a deadly ice-calm. "He's bad news for you Lily."

"You'd be surprised how many people have said that."

"You should listen!" his face gained a little more colour.

Studying his features, she wondered at his pointed dislike of James Potter. "Why do you hate him so much?"

"You know why," he snapped, turning away from her and walking to sit down by the fire. "Four years of being victimised by him and his little clan of arrogant idiots doesn't give me a decent reason to hate him?"

Lily sat beside him on the couch, feeling him stiffen at her nearness. "Let's change the subject," she said softly. "How are you finding the OWL Potions work?"

Severus' face remained hard as ever, but he did meet her eyes this time. "Not so bad, all elementary work that we could be well-beyond if we put more effort in."

"Do you think Professor Slughorn will pair us up for the end of year project?"

"Oh, undoubtedly." Lily and Severus were Slughorn's two most favourite fifth year potions students, and he always put them together for various projects – it was when they did their best work. Indeed, it looked likely that, come sixth year, they would both be inducted into the underground 'Slug Club'.

Severus had relaxed back into the chair beside her and Lily knew that she had been temporarily forgiven for whatever misdemeanours had or would occur with the hated James Potter.

"Chess, Sev?" she asked, moving to sit opposite him. She played white, of course.

He smirked in return, knowing immediately what opening she would play; the Queen's gambit. They had played chess for many, many years and knew each other's strategies and styles inside and out.

"Go on then," he sighed. Time with Lily was precious, it was the only time he felt he could ever let his guard down. Watching her play chess in the flickering firelight, she looked more beautiful that ever, purer than ever. Far too pure for a Slytherin who was heading towards being tainted by the darkest evil imaginable, but he consoled himself by thinking that she was also too pure for James Potter and arrogant self-righteousness.

The evening came to an end, just as they were both settling into each other's company again. Lily had beaten the Slytherin in the chess, sacrificing her queen to win the game.

Severus was always quite scathing about her happy-go-lucky approach to chess which, to his chagrin, often worked the game to her favour, the pieces sensing their players serenity did exactly as they were told; his always rebelled.

Lily gave the dark-haired boy a quick hug, leaving an imprint of red-hair and contentedness on him that he wished would stay forever. "See you soon, Severus," she whispered, already stealing her way back to Gryffindor Tower down the dark corridors.