Back To Reality

We had finished our Manhattan excitement and were now leaving our lavish life behind. As we rolled down the highway I relaxed into myseat thinking about everything that had happened since we'd arrived. I was engaged! I was no longer "pure" as most would say. I was different. For that period of time it didn't matter to me that my father was a miserable drunk, and that my brother and I were suffering the consequences of his reckless behavior. Everything was good that weekend, I just wish I sensed the major disaster that was coming.

We pulled up to my building around 7 that night. The drive had been so long , yet it seemed to pass by so quickly.

"I gotta go baby." Adrian said leaning in and giving me a quick kiss, "Answer your cell, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." I said getting out of the car.

He waved as he pulled off towards his project.

You better pray that Sandro is home! The voice warned

"I know, I know." I said under my breath

I climbed the winding staircase and let my self into the dark apartment. Letting out the breath I'd been holding at the sight of the seemingly empty apartment.

Suddenly the light in the TV room clicked on, making my heart freeze in my chest. My father sat on the couch staring at me with cold eyes.

"Where the hell have you been all weekend Diana?" He asked, I could tell by his voice that he was angry. It was gonna be a long night.

"I went to the city." I said trying to inch my way towards the hallway that led to my room.

"Oh yeah, with who?" He asked

"Marisol and a few other people." I lied

"You go to Manhattan with that boy?" he asked me

"Adrian?" I asked. I was stalling. I didn't want to stick around for his beating and verbal shit but I wasn't about to run from him. I needed a plan and fast.

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK WHAT HIS NAME IS DIANA!?" He screamed jumping out of his seat.

"Yeah he came with us dad, why does it matter?" I said frustrated.

"Did you have sex with that fucking pendejo when you were with him?" he asked his voice deadly calm again.

"No." I lied again

"YOU FUCKING LIAR! Is that what you've been doing this whole time Diana? Sleeping with some asshole who doesn't even give a damn about you?" He shouted lunging forward and shaking me by my shoulders with each word.

"NO! shut up, you don't even know what the hell your talking about!" I screamed shoving him off of me.

His eyes flashed with anger for a moment before traveling down to the hand that was holding my duffel, my left hand. Recognition dawned on his face and the anger returned to his eyes.

"What the hell is that?" He asked pointing to my hand

"What?" I asked

"The fucking ring, what the hell is it?" He asked me again

"Well I don't know why your asking you just answered your own question, it's a ring." I replied sarcastically

"Don't get smart with me, you little slut! You think your gonna marry him, is that it? What did he get you pregnant or something?" He asked me laughing mockingly

"I am gonna marry him, and I'm gonna get the hell out of here, and far away from you!" I shouted pissed at him

"You're not going no where you little slut, he's gonna find something better and drop your ass on the curb. You think your something? You think he loves you? Ha! He doesn't love you, no one does, your worthless and unimportant, a mistake that your mother should have taken with her to her fucking grave." He ranted

I felt his words puncture my soul. My mother was a sore spot with me, and my father knew that. Everything he said played over and over in my head until I couldn't deal with it any more. Against my strongest will tears began to fall from my eyes. Never had I cried in front of my father, and never had I hated him as much as I did at that moment.

He seemed taken aback by my tears. As if he expected me to fight him, to scream to keep going. I watched his face portray so many emotions at once as he watched me cry. Anger came and went quickly, and it was replaced by sorrow, then came pain, followed by compassion, remorse and then finally fear.

"Diana?" Tiny asked shaking me from my daze. He looked concerned and confused as he walked into the house, returning from his weekend of fun.

"Tiny, go to your room." My father said

"No." Tiny replied firmly

"Tiny I said to go to your room that means you go now." Dad tried again

Tiny shook his head no, standing his ground. My father looked shocked. Tiny was afraid of him, he never disobeyed his orders, yet here he was insisting that he was gonna stay here in the middle of our argument.

"What did you do to her?" Tiny asked. The rage that came out with his words scared even me as I tried to stop the tears.

"Nothing." My father lied

"If it's nothing then why is she crying?" Tiny said raising his voice.

Never had I heard Tiny yell and our dad. He'd tried to man up in front of dad and hold his ground in front of him before, but normally when dad gave him an order Tiny would back off and do as he was told.

"It's none of your god damn business now go to your room before I…"

"Before you what?" Tiny shouted cutting dad off mid sentence, "fucking kill me? Go ahead, it won't be the first persons blood you have on your hands."

My father looked as though he'd just been slapped. His eyes found me as I had just managed to suppress the tears.

"You are both out of control." He said picking up his beer and downing the half full bottle in one long pull.

My eyes widened as I watched Tiny walk up to my father and knock the bottle right out of his hands.

"No dad." He said with so much venom he could have made a snake recoil, "You are out of control."

The look on my fathers face was one I had never seen before. Slowly he walked to the door. Giving us a last look over his shoulder he opened it and left.

I felt the lump in my throat swelling up again as the tears returned for the second time that night. I sank down onto the floor and curled up into a small ball.

"he's gonna find something better and drop your ass on the curb." My fathers words rang in my head

"He doesn't love you, no one loves you!" I cringed and closed my eyes, as silent sobs made my whole body shake.

I have no idea how long I stayed there like that. I heard Tiny call my name several times, I heard him say he was gonna call someone to help me. I heard my phone ring and Tiny answer it. Not once though did I open my eyes. I was afraid to see my father, to hear his words again.

Slowly, after a while my fathers words started to fade from my memory. My tears stopped and I was able to sit up. A few minutes after that I managed to stand and walk over to the armchair.

"Diana?" Tiny said to me softly

"Do you think he's coming back?" I asked

"He'll be back, but that's not really a good thing." Tiny whispered handing me a glass of water.

"Why didn't you go to your room like always?" I asked. My voice was still raspy from all the crying

"He'd gone to far, he's pissed you off before sure, but anyone can do that. He's never pushed you to make you cry, I don't care what he thinks, he was wrong." Tiny said. It was then that I realized how grown up he was, how much he'd seen since mom died, he might not remember it, but he understood.

"Who called?" I asked

"Adrian, he went to pick his brother up from the Air Port, he's gonna take him back to his place and then he's gonna come over here."

"For what?" I asked

"Make sure your okay, you were on the floor for a long time, I thought you were hurt or something." Tiny said.

"I'm okay." I said looking at my little brother.

Tiny was so young when my mom passed, he barely remembered her, yet he was so much like her. Both were passive and obedient, simple minded, and able to find the good in every one, even dad. In fact Tiny and my mom were the only people who I had ever heard say that my father was a really good man.

I was drawn out of my thoughts by the sound of Tiny at the door.

Baby." Adrian said squatting in front of me. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. Just some stupid fight with my father." I said softly.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked me

"I'm fine Adrian." I said with more conviction.

"Okay, do you wanna spend the night at my place, we're gonna have dinner with my brother, and my mom is gonna wanna meet you anyway." He said

"I don't wanna leave Tiny here by himself." I said honestly.

"Bring him, it'll be a real family get together, with my future wife and brother-in-law." He smiled

"Future… You two are getting married?" Tiny asked snatching my hand away from Arians face.

"Yeah." I said shyly

"Oh my god! What the hell are we doing here? Lets go to diner and celebrate," Tiny shouted

"My mom's cooking, she won't mind a few extra people." Adrian said

"Oh no, this is a huge occasion, let's go to Che Pasta!" Tiny said jumping around and grabbing things from his duffel

"How you plan to afford that?" I asked incredulously

Tiny smiled at me and tossed me a black wallet. When I opened it I was shocked to see how much money it held, almost a thousand dollars.

"Dad's treat" He said grabbing his coat.

Adrian and I laughed and grabbed our things. My crazy brother beamed the whole way to Adrian's parents place like some kind of Idiot.

"Ma, I'm back!" Adrian called as he led us into the apartment

It was funny of all the times that I'd been here I'd never just walked in the door. Normally I crept in and straight down the hall like a criminal. It was nice to walk in and not have to be quiet.

"Quien es? Who's this?" She asked

"Ma, this is Diana and her little brother Tiny." Adrian said introducing us.

"You come here for dinner, no?" She said, her Puerto Rican accent thick

"Yes, but we're going out ma. They're father has offered to treat us to dinner at Che Pasta, since he couldn't join us." Adrian fibbed slightly

"That is wonderful, but por que?" she asked

"We're celebrating!" Tiny said happily

"Ma, Diana and I, we're gonna get married" Adrian said

"Dios Mio!" She gasped her eyes filling with tears.

I watched as Adrian's father and brother joined her in gasps. His older brother surveyed my left hand closely and his eyes bulged at sight of my ring.

"Well I'll be damned, who would have thought that Adrian would be the first to get married!" He said coming over to hug Adrian and then me.

"I'm Carlos, Age's big brother. You must be the one who he sneaks in and out of the house every week." He said to me as he hugged me

"I… um yeah that's me." I blushed

"And I'm his younger brother, I'm Santiago, but you can call me San." He said

"Hey." I replied

"Well, seeing as how you're apparently gonna be my daughter-in-law I guess I should introduce my self." Said the oldest of the three men in the family room, "I'm Carlos Sr, known as Senior to my boys, and this very shocked woman here is my wife, Esmeralda. It's sure a pleasure to meet you Diana."

He offered his hand and I shook it lightly.

"My god!" His mother exclaimed, "I'm going to have a daughter? A daughter, dios mio, los santos must be smiling down on me."

I laughed a little at her as she ran around the small apartment praising los santos and grabbing coats for her boys. She seemed so good natured.

We split up in two cars. Carlos, Senior, and Esmeralda in Seniors car, and Adrian, Tiny, San, and I in the other. San was in the military and had come home from his post in the Dominican Republic for Christmas.

"So Diana, you look like you have some of that Latina fire in you, what are you?" San asked as we turned onto the main road.

"Puerto Rican and Dominican, my dad was born in Santo Domingo, and my mother's parents moved over from Puerto Rico in the 30's." I said

"That's pretty cool, so your pop's is working tonight or something?" He asked

I looked at Adrian, who smiled reassuringly. He knew I hated the whole 21 questions thing that people used to get to know each other.

"Yeah something like that. He wanted us to celebrate the engagement though." I lied. And he nodded

We pulled up to the restaurant and were escorted to a large booth in the back corner. The whole place looked like one of those parties that I can remember my mother taking our family to, back when things were fun. They used to play loud salsa music and she would dance with my father, back when I called him papa. She would dance with me and Tiny too, not many people knew it, but I was a very good dancer, better then most girls in town. But that was before, before mom and dad went down hill, before my family began to unravel. Being in that restaurant, it made me remember just how much fun things were. It made me remember.

"Diana, you alright honey?" Esmeralda asked me

"Yes ma'am, I'm fine." I smiled and slid in closer to Adrian.

We chatted lightly as the waitress came and took our orders, sure to flirt with Carlos in the process.

"You can see why we're shocked that Adrian is the one to first marry." Senior said laughing as the waitress left.

"Yeah you been slayin' 'em huh big guy?" I laughed at Carlos

"What can I say," He gloated, "the ladies find me fascinating, but I know you're my baby bro's girl, so I'll turn down the charm for you little bella."

I rolled my eyes.

"Bro, it's that attitude that can't keep a girlfriend for more than a few month's." Adrian joked

I laughed again.

The food came quickly, which was a surprise to me since the place was packed. We ate and laughed as the house band played. Senior and Esmeralda even got up on the dance floor for an old salsa tune.

I smiled as the song changed, I recognized it immediately as the intro began. From the look on his face I could tell that tiny did too.

"Is this el doctorado?" He asked me

"Yeah, you remember this song?" I laughed

"Yeah, mom and papi used to dance it right?" He said

"Yeah, mom loved this song, you remember how to dance it?" I asked him

"Yeah, why?"

"Dance with Esmeralda." I said

Tiny surprised me, he actually stood up and offered the older woman his hand for a dance. He could salsa that boy, she was in for the dance of her life.

"You salsa?" Adrian asked me

"What me? No I don't dance." I lied

"Oh, well that's okay, I'll teach you, come on." He said sliding out of the booth.

"Adrian, I really don't want to." I said.

"It'll be fine, come on every one learns sometime. You got Puerto Rican in those veins baby, it'll come natural." He said.

Reluctantly I stood and took his hand, as we made our way over to the dance floor I saw Tiny watching me. It'd been years since that kid's seen me dance.

As the first verse of the song sped up I began to move with Adrian. My hips spun to the salsa beat with such grace and fluidity you would have never thought I was a boxer. Adrian's shock at my skill showed on his face as he twirled me around and moved in time with me. As a lady I let him lead laughing inside, mama had always been a better dancer then my dad, but she would never push him around the dance floor, she let him lead and I let Adrian.

"You lied to me." He laughed as we moved together.

"I said I didn't dance, I didn't say I couldn't." I smirked

"You're very good at this, where'd you learn?" He asked

"In the streets outside my house." I said

When the song came to an end we returned to the booth.

"Well Adrian, it's official you are a miracle worker." Tiny said

"Why?" Adrian asked with a confused look on his face.

"You got Diana to dance, do you know how long it's been since I've seen her dance?" Tiny beamed

"No, how long?" He asked

"Well gee, since mama." He said

"Oh yes Diana, where is your mother this evening?" She asked

"Brooklyn state cemetery," I said earning odd looks from the whole table, "She passed away when I was really young. Our neighborhood has block parties all the time, and she used to take us. Her and my father used to dance, and she used to salsa with Tiny and me, when she died we stopped going to the parties, not much of a reason for me to dance any more."

"You're mother must have been beautiful." Esmeralda said sadly reaching over to grab my hand

I'm not sure why, but he small gesture warmed me. Esmeralda was so sweet and her family had accepted us in a matter of hours. I felt at peace here. Yet something was missing, that one thing to make me whole.

"Well if you think Diana is beautiful then mama was, they look just alike, down to the eyebrows." Tiny chirped trying to lighten the mood, everyone laughed

"Have you guys given any thought to the wedding details yet?" Esmeralda asked

"Mama, give them 24 hours at least before you and dad start liquidating retirement funds huh?" San teased

"Actually, I wanted a small wedding." I said, to be honest it was the first time I had ever even thought about a wedding but hey now that it was on the table why not dream a little.

"Small?" Esmeralda asked

"Yeah, in the church on 72nd street, it's where my parents got married, it was small, but it was so beautiful. I want it to be simple." I stated

Adrian smiled down at me.

"That's perfect baby, that's just where we'll have it, and it'll be perfect." He smiled

I smiled. This wedding would be real, a dream would turn into a reality.